𝐿𝒶𝓎𝒶 🔮

Wrestling & Gifs, that's it. Header: _unefille-bizarre_ Wattpad

[galina1987blog]

His golden words 🔥🤍

[darkangel-madness]

I opened this new account, but I'm gonna bring this back and pin this luv, I'm thankful you have the Cameo up that he made for me & as always, words can't describe how much I appreciate him for doing this. His words will always keep me motivated. I'll never forget it 🩵

I hope his words of encouragement can help others out there who are students and ploughing through school 🩵

[darkangel-madness]

° JEFF COBB

° NJPW: G1 CLIMAX 36

° 08/16/2026

A/N: Between school & work I haven't made gifs in ages, but for Mr. Cobb, I'll always make time. I'm so happy to see him back in New Japan Pro-Wrestling!!! 🥹🤩 He deserves nothing but the best & a great run. Go kick ass pookie, missed you so much! (Any negativity will be blocked, do not rain on the parade).

[k3nnfield]

Falling For You P2

As requested by quite a few, a follow on from this oneshot!

A/N: If this is coming across your feed first, it might flow better after reading the first half! But i hope it’s just as good as the first :)

C/W: Carlos x reader, no zombie AU, working at RPD with Leon Jill and Carlos, crushing hard on Carlos, reader has bad social anxiety and shyness, fluff, first date/first kiss together

W/C: 2.7k

The day after the...awkward yet successful encounter with Carlos, you spent most of your time in the office, actively avoiding running into him before dinner tonight, repeating every failed attempt at communicating like a normal human being with him. Your mind swimming with thoughts of the worst possible scenario if you were to embarrass yourself further.

What if he realises you're too annoying? Or too shy? What if you look like a weirdo?

"You know you can't hide from him, you're literally going on a date later." Leon raises a brow at how you purposefully swing your entire body to face him the moment you spot Carlos walk past the window.

"I can at least try." You whisper, shutting your eyes and praying he won't come in.

"I hate to break it to you but that isn't gonna work now.." Leon quiets his voice.

"Why–" You immediately return to your normal position the moment you see Carlos enter, eyes facing the desk acting occupied as you feel your face heat up.

Carlos strolls into the office, offering nods and handshakes to the other officers before heading directly your way. Your heart hammers into your chest, your hands beginning to shake from nerves as he grows closer and closer, until stopping directly behind you.

He looks down at Leon who hides a smile, mouthing "Morning." before he too turns around to continue his report writing. You refuse to move, looking as if you're attempting to be a statue, entirely frozen. Which isn't far off how you're feeling, your blood ice cold yet your body burning up, face flushed red.

"Officer (L/N)," He voices from directly behind your frame.

You innocently hum, slightly lifting your head and angling it to see the side of his body. You hear Carlos huff out a short laugh, before placing a weighted hand onto your shoulder, lightly caressing your skin with his fingers.

He must have spotted your fidgeting hands, shallow breaths and pink skin, since he leans down closer to your ear, gently pulling the hair covering your face to the side. The faint contact of his finger tips dragging across your neck makes your entire body stiff, tingling with electricity.

"Relax, nothing to be nervous about." His voice runs through your body.

Did he just read your mind? Despite the obvious signs, how did he know you are so on edge right now?

"I'm looking forward to tonight." Carlos lightens the mood up, standing back up straight with both hands now staying put on your shoulders.

"Me too, but uh...can I ask where you're actually taking me?" You shyly question, already guessing he's not going to share that with you yet.

"Now that would ruin the surprise." He shrugs with a teasing smirk, moving to lean against the side of your desk, his arms folded across his chest as he looks at you.

Just as you suspected.

"I need to know how to dress, like is it casual or..." You lead off, hoping to get some sort of insight into his plans.

"Hm alright, just wear something that you think is nice," His smile widens, "I don't doubt that you'll look beautiful no matter what."

Your breath hitches in your throat, the freezing cold air conditioned office now feeling as if you're being cooked alive in a furnace. Your previous flushed face has turned into a full blown tomato, you just hope that's all he's got to say, politely praying he leaves before you implode.

"Got it." You manage to respond, unable to hide the smile painting your face.

"Alright, I'll leave ya be now. See you later." He winks after pushing off the desk, you watch as he confidently roams through the office, leaving the room in an intimidated silence.

You let out a dramatically long exhale, leaning into your chair and pulling up your sleeves to try and cool down.

Leon doesn't say anything, instead watching you from the corner of his eye, a small smirk pulling at his lips, but you kick the leg of his chair to immediately wipe the smugness off his face.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

"So he didn't give any clues for where you're going?" Jill confirms, elbow deep in your clothes trying to find the perfect outfit.

"Nope, just told me to wear 'something that I think is nice'" You quote his words, "but I have plenty of nice clothes for different occasions." You groan, falling back onto your bed.

"Of course he did." She rolls her eyes, "Well knowing him, he's definitely taking you into the city, and he's never shy of spending, soooo...." Jill brings a finger up to her lips, staring at the potential options of date outfits in front of her.

She takes out multiple items, laying them onto the bed next to you. You force yourself up, standing beside a very proud Jill with her arms crossed, leaning her weight onto one leg.

"This," She extends her hands out, "is perfect."

You look at the small black, sleeveless dress paired with dark tights, maroon coloured heels and your favorite dark red leather blazer, mouth agape at how she managed to match the perfect outfit for you.

"I'm impressed." You smile, your finger brushing the fabric of the dress.

"Thanks! Now go shower, get dressed and we'll discuss your hair. We have an hour and a half so be quick." She shoos you away with her hands.

You head into the bathroom with your towel and change of clothes, a big grin on your face. Those previous nerves have transformed into full blown excitement. After your shower, you change into your date outfit, twirling in the bathroom mirror feeling satisfied with how it looks on you.

Sometimes when you've prepared an outfit for an occasion, it looks completely different on your body than it did on the hangers. But this left you pleasantly surprised. You open the door, causing Jill to snap her head in your direction as a gasp escapes her lips.

"Knew it would look good." She claps her hands. "Okay, sit." Jill beckons a hand to your dressing table, pulling out the chair for you.

She takes off the towel covering your damp hair, helping you dry it and style it into soft, voluminous curls framing your face. You complete your own makeup, opting for a natural look to keep the focus on your outfit and hair.

Jill picks out the final touches just in time, gold bracelets, earrings and a dainty necklace with a matching red handbag for your phone, keys and lipgloss.

Your phone pings, alerting you as you douse yourself in your most expensive perfume. Your stomach fills with butterflies, reading the notification on your homescreen.

Carlos: Outside when you're ready.

You let out a sigh, mixed with excitement and nerves. Jill walks you to the front door, hiding out of sight as she lets you know she'll leave and lock up the house for you. She brushes out the few creases in your dress before you open the door.

"Have funnnn!" Jill sings.

You walk out, spotting Carlos leaning against his car parked outside your home. One leg against the car door with his arms crossed. He's wearing dark trousers, a black buttoned up shirt with the top buttons left open, granting you a cheeky view of his chest. The sight alone makes your mouth water.

"Hey you." He smiles, walking up to meet you halfway. Carlos lifts your hand, bringing it to his lips to leave a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

"You look..." Carlos scans your body, his gaze burning through your skin leaving goosebumps in the path of his eyes, "Amazing."

"Thank you." You nervously laugh, tucking a loose curl behind your ear and clearing your throat. "You don't look too bad yourself, clean up well." your face winces from your awkwardness, internally cursing at yourself for your choice of words.

Anyhow, Carlos continues smiling, opening the passenger side door and helping you into the car before circling around to the driver's seat. You observe the interior, noting the clean surfaces and strong smell of leather alluming your senses.

"Still not gonna tell me where we're going?" You try again once he starts the engine, the hum sending a vibration of energy to your heart, reminding you that this is really happening right now.

"Nope." He grins, driving off from the sidewalk. The first half of the drive fell into a comfortable yet shyish silence, you don't really know what to say to him. Figuring that discussing work would just be boring and stupid, nobody wants to talk about a long day at work on a date.

Your eyes track down to Carlos's fingers, occasionally flexing or twitching as they rest on the gearstick, inching closer and closer over the middle console to your side of the car.

"I'm glad we're doing this." Carlos eventually breaks the thick silence between you, glancing over at you for a brief moment before returning his attention on the road.

"Yeah, me too." You breathlessly respond.

The warmth of his hand finally resting on your knee sends shivers down your spine. "Don't be nervous, I won't bite ya." He squeezes the soft flesh to soothe your chaotic mind.

"Sorry," You close your eyes, shaking your head to try and remove the unsettling feeling in your stomach. "I don't really do...this." You try and find the words.

"That's alright, I got you." Carlos softens his voice, somehow magically helping you calm down more so than the breathing exercises you have been trying to use and repeating various mantras in your head.

Thankfully, the location of your date comes into view as Carlos parks the car, stopping in front of a dimly lit, fancy looking eatery, far better than anywhere you take yourself or have been in the past.

"Jesus." You mumble, looking at just the exterior, modern windows covering the walls letting you see the even more luxurious interior awaiting you.

Carlos places a hand at the small of your back, guiding you through the restaurant as you follow the waiter to your designated table. You can't help but feel out of place and underdressed compared to everyone else here. Maybe you're imagining it, already paranoid, but you swear the other guests are staring at you.

You sit yourself down, resting your bag at the foot of your chair and busy yourself with the menu. You avert Carlos's eyes, scanning the meals you cannot pronounce, dreading the inevitable humiliation when asking for your order.

Everything is so expensive here, literally every option is way out of your budget. The starter meals are pricier than a 3-course meal you ate with your family not long ago. Okay, maybe not that bad, but it's still crazy.

You feel awful just looking at the options, knowing he's not going to let you offer to pay, nor can you even afford to do so anyway.

"What are you thinking of getting?" He speaks from opposite you, resting his arms on the table, leaning forward. He must be extremely observant, always managing to catch you out of your spiralling thoughts or anxious states

"Uhhh...I don't know how to say it.." You whisper, pointing to the meal listed on the menu.

"Ah, good choice." He nods, quickly realising your inner panic at being unable to pronounce it.

As if on cue, the waiter arrives at your table, asking whether you're ready to order.

"I'll have the Carpaccio, and the lady will have the Bistecca alla Fiorentina please." Carlos exaggerates his perfect pronunciation whilst holding your eye contact, winking once he finishes speaking. You giggle at his proud expression.

"Very well, and for drinks?" The waiter asks whilst writing down on his notepad.

"A bottle of red wine please, two glasses." Carlos answers before you can even process, your shoulders deflating in relief after the worst part has passed.

You rest comfortably into the seat, feeling much more at ease than you had been earlier. You and Carlos relaxed into conversations about favourite TV shows, whether you own any pets and what music you both listen to. Simple icebreakers, helping you get to know each other better.

Carlos's knees brush past yours every so often, until they settle right against yours, none of you choosing to move. Even after your finished dishes get taken away, the entire bottle of wine emptied, neither of you can stop talking to each other, inching closer and closer to each other over the space of the table.

"God I'm so happy I didn't let my anxiety get the better of me tonight." You reveal, your cheeks aching from smiling so much in such a short space of time.

"I'm glad too, this was good, really good." Carlos places his hand over yours on the table, his thumb rubbing small circles against your knuckles as he looks at you with such an admirable expression.

You don't want it to end, you want to just sit here in this little happy bubble with him forever, all dressed up feeling so full of pride and joy. But unfortunately, the restaurant is near empty, and you can see the staff looking at you both with impatience lining their faces.

Carlos grunts as he stands up, extending a hand for you to follow him. "Come on, let's get you home." He reluctantly sighs.

You take his hand, walking with him to the exit and into the car. The drive home was much less awkward, filled with laughter and full teeth smiles until the night fell to an end. Carlos lets out an exhale, putting the car into park outside of your house.

"Thank you again, for tonight." You say for the third time since leaving the restaurant.

"No need," Carlos opens the car door, leaving you in silence until opening your side for you. "I hope we can do it again"

"Absoluetly, I'd love that." You jump out of his car, brushing down your dress and looking up to him, eyes glistening with affection.

"Obviously I'll see you at work on Monday, but uh.." He scratches the back of his neck, "you free at all this weekend?"

Your heart flutters at his words, taking a moment to picture your calendar in your mind. "I am, yes." You nod with another smile, something you haven't stopped doing all night.

"Perfect." His voice is low, grovelling, vibrating deep in your chest. Carlos cups your face with his hand, thumb smoothing over your cheek. You know what's about to happen, the air between the two of you is just sparking with electricity.

He leans down closer to your face, his warm breath fanning across yours until your lips meet in a soft kiss. You pull apart after a few seconds, your heart rapidly beating before you decide to go in for more.

Your hand reaches into his black hair, gently threading through and tugging at the back of his neck to deepen this kiss further. Carlos's hands slide down your waist holding your body close to him, your heavy breaths mixing together.

"Okay.." You breathe out after pulling away properly, wiping at your barely swollen lips from the short makeout outside of his car like a scene out of a rom-com movie. "I should really get inside now." You giggle, tugging your leather blazer around your body after another cold breeze sweeps over you.

"Of course, goodnight (Y/N)." Carlos leaves you with one last kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight." You whisper, hurriedly walking to your front door and unlocking it in one quick movement.

You lean against the cool wooden frame, leaning your head back with a squeal of joy, sounding awfully loud in the emptiness of your home. That is, until a voice startles you.

"How was it?" Jill asks, lurking out of the living room from the dark, hiding in the shadows.

"Jesus Christ J!" You shout, resting a hand on your chest. "What the hell are you doing here? You said you were going home!"

"Yeah but I just couldn't wait to find out how it went." She shrugs, before a smirk covers her face. "I assume it went well from the hot and heavy smooch out there." Jill wiggles her eyebrows.

"It did, actually. You're lucky it didn't go further than that otherwise I would've murdered you there and then for ruining it by being here." You fold your arms over your chest, trying your hardest to thin your lips to hide the smile threatening to come out.

"Okkaayy, fair enough. Come on! Tell me everything!" Jill crashes onto the couch, patting the space in front of her, crossing her legs in eagerness for all the gossip.

A/N: Again, I hope this was as good as the first part🩷

If you’d like to request me an idea, please read my terms!

Comment or Dm to be on the taglist

Taglist:

@flutteringwingss @angelssundae

Dividers from @uzmacchiato

[darkangel-madness]

Me seeing the second part

[darkangel-madness]

Now this is a warning shot...to the RAW & SD locker rooms.

[darkangel-madness]

Yeah, this is upsetting but not surprising 🙃 Ofc they fumbled a talent like Jeff Cobb. He wanted to wrestle more, he wanted to talk more, he didn't want to look like a background character. He wanted to show off his personality more. But ofc this fuckass company didn't let it happen. It got to a point that even wrestling on Main Event would be okay for him, yet they still didn't let it happen. Jeff, go to where you are valued, cause clearly this company didn't. You made the right move.

[darkangel-madness]

Of course...

I'm happy for Lash, but the ladies deserved more time.

[darkangel-madness]

You've got to be kidding me, they cut off Giulia's entrance?!

[darkangel-madness]

Back to the weekly climbing him would solve all my problems post.

[darkangel-madness]

I hollered.

[k3nnfield]

Heyy, I hope you're doing well. So I came up with another idea if it's okay with you. A fluff oneshot where the Reader, Carlos, Leon & Jill are coworkers. Carlos & Jill have been in the organization for a while & the Reader & Leon are rookies. The reader has a huge crush on Carlos, but is shy to admit. Jill encourages her to approach him & tell him, but she's super shy & socially anxious to talk to him. Leon on the other hand teases her about him whenever they're together & they see him at work (in the hallways, etc, up to you). Her & Carlos finally come across each other & they talk which leads up to the confession. Carlos reciprocates & wanted to confess earlier but wasn't sure if she felt the same cause he always saw her with Leon & thought she liked him. It ends with both of them becoming a thing along with Jill & Leon celebrating. Thank you so much! & take your time writing it, have a great day 🩵

Falling For You

A/N: Accidentally posted this without the actual request sorry! I hope this is similar to what you wanted, but loved writing this, i adore writing Carlos smmm

C/W: Carlos x reader, Leon and reader new at RPD, Carlos and Jill have worked there longer, no zombie AU, super sweet and cute, cheesy, fluff, confession, awkwardness, reader has social anxiety and is very shy

W/C: 2.8k

The familiar chatter of your co-workers fills your ears as you enter the office, circling the room with various cups of coffee, placing the allocated drink for every desk in a hurried fashion.

Once arriving at your own desk tucked away from the others, besides your partners, you let yourself sink into the seat. Taking a deep breath before opening the first file of the day.

You've been a part of the RPD for just over 6 months now, and apart from the crazy amounts of paperwork and endless overtime used to finish said paperwork, it has been a dream come true. Not only for you, but for your Leon too. You both started here at the same time, thankfully, since nobody else is really of your exact same age. So at least you've had a friend to stick with.

"Morning," Leon huffs out, his hand reaching for his coffee and taking a long sip. He takes a glance over in your direction, silently studying your mood before deciding whether to tease you, as always. "You seen Curly yet?" Leon sings his words out in a playful tune.

Your face immediately turns bright pink, kicking your foot at Leon's leg. "Shh! Keep your voice down will you?" You whisper at him, Leon stifles a laugh as you continue. "And no. I haven't. Only just got here."

Since starting here, two of the most lovable cops have taken you under their wing. One just so happens to be quite easy on the eyes. Who are you kidding? The moment you took in the dreamy, buffed up slice of heaven of a man that is Carlos Oliveira on your first day, you knew you were in trouble.

Jill Valentine is the other cop who has helped you adjust, both of them have been at the RPD for a while now, showing you the ways of the world and ensuring you and Leon feel comfortable and welcome.

As time passed, Jill began to notice how flustered you became when being around Carlos. Unintentionally of course, it's just who you are. You ended up telling her about your gigantic crush on him, feeling like a highschool girl gossiping about a boy she likes. And Jill was adamant he feels the same way, trying everything she could for you to just speak to him.

But anytime you have, you fuck it up by tripping over your own feet, or stuttering your words, or simply not being able to speak at all. Always cursing yourself out afterwards, such an idiot. Way to go to embarrass yourself even more. Though he never speaks of it, which if anything, makes you worry if he's even noticed you as much as you do so with him.

His luscious black curly hair sitting so gracefully at the sides of his face, the thick black facial hair carving his jawline. Those beautiful soft looking lips, god how you want to kiss them. And those eyes. Boy those eyes, such an addicting shade of brown, you never fail to find new specks of hazel and gold amongst the dove chocolate whenever you do manage to hold his gaze for longer than a second.

But almost all of your interactions with him have been horrendously humiliating.

❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀

"Morning, Officer (L/N)." Carlos calls out as you walk through the hallway.

You flinch, jumping out of your skin from the unexpected, deep grovelly voice sounding from behind you. Causing you to drop the files balancing in your arms.

"Shit!" You curse out, bending down to gather the papers. "Yeah..uh...hi." You mutter out, squeezing your eyes shut and thinning your lips.

He didn't see, just walk away, please.

"Need a hand?" He stands tall from this angle, towering over you with his chest broad, shoulders back, and a small smirk lining his lips.

"No no, I'm fine." You rush your words, the paper slips past your finger tip leaving a sharp sting. A hiss escapes your mouth as you hold a hand around the miniature slit.

"You alright? Seems you've gotten into quite a predicament there."

"All good, excellent really!" Your pitch tells another story, fooling absolutely nobody. Carlos watches you pick up the final pages, standing back up and avoiding his gaze as you hurry away.

Even just thinking back to that moment makes your blood burn in anger at yourself. Wishing the earth would just sink beneath you and swallow you whole right there and then. And the worst thing is that it has never gotten better since.

Another terrible memory that takes over your mind when you're trying your hardest to fall asleep at 2:34 in the morning is one of which somehow fills you with butterflies.

❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀

You're at your desk, have been for the last 5 hours of the day. Writing away for a report of an arrest you had just aided in with Leon and another officer of the team. Your eyes stinging, vision beginning to blur at the corners from your immense concentration.

You don't think you've spoken to a single person since sitting down, nor have you even gotten up for a break.

"Hey, whatcha working on there?" A voice asks from the entrance of the office, a voice you know all too well, sending shivers down your spine.

Your hands clam up, the pen in your hand slipping between your fingers as you absentmindedly fuss with it. "Oh..uhm," You mumble, eyes frantically searching the office for help, but soon reminding you that almost everyone has left the office already.

"Just a case from this morning." You finally manage to speak. Carlos hums, slowly walking over to your desk, your chest tightening as you realise it is literally just you two alone in the room.

"Need any help?" He simply leans on Leon's desk beside you, arms crossed over his chest. The tight shirt he has on is working overtime to cover his skin. His biceps look even bigger in the way he's standing, if only you could wrap your hands around one of them–

"(Y/N)?" His voice quickly forces you out of that ridiculously inappropriate fantasy. You clear your throat, "Sorry, what was it you said?"

Carlos huffs out a soft laugh, "I think you should head home, you've been here for hours. The report can wait."

"No, it's all good, I'm nearly done anyway." Your fingers fumble as they reach for the paper.

"Alright then, you need a new drink or something?"

You stare at the forgotten cup of coffee in the corner of your desk, no longer steaming from heat. "No, thanks. I have this one here." Your hands lock around the handle, pulling the mug over your desk until it slips out of your hands. Cold coffee spilling over the report and yourself, tainting the once white blouse into a tan, amber ring. "Oh shit!" You snap, hands wiping down at yourself and working to save your report.

"Easy there, Bambi." Carlos helps to move some things out of the way, picking up the fallen mug and placing it on Leon's desk. "Okay, now you gotta go home." He quirks an eyebrow up, eyes darting down to your ruined clothes and papers. What a waste of your entire day.

"Yeah, guess I do." your chair scrapes the hardwood floors, standing up and wiping a hand over your face.

"I'll have the deadline for the report extended, just get some rest, yeah?" his voice sends butterflies into your stomach. Your mind is playing his "Yeah?" on repeat over and over again.

"Mhm, thanks." You barely whisper, grabbing your bag before fleeing out of the office like it were a crime scene.

And since then, Carlos has officially nicknamed you 'Bambi' in reference to how clumsy you become around him. As much as you hate being teased, you can't help but love hearing that name come out of his mouth.

❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀・・・❀

And this has gone on for months, far too long in Jill's opinion. The weight of a cold, soft hand resting on your shoulder alerts you back to the present. Taking your thoughts of every horrific conversation, if you can even class them as that, with Carlos.

"You daydreaming about him again?" Jill asks with a smile, pulling out a chair from another desk to join you and Leon.

"No," You tell a very obvious lie. "Just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Yeah, too busy thinking of Carlos." Leon quips, dragging an exasperated sigh out of you in response.

"(Y/N), come on. This has gone on for too long now, You need to find the courage to tell him!" Jill places a hand around yours, face softening into something more empathetic.

"But what if he doesn't see me that way? I'll just ruin my reputation even more, then I'll have to quit my job because there's no way in hell I'll show my face around here again."

"The fuck you will, you can't abandon me here just because you fell for someone, I dont deserve to be punished for your own shyness!" Leon teases once again.

"You'll never know unless you speak to him (Y/N). Wouldn't you rather just find out how he feels, rather than live in constant anxiety around him?" Jill shakes her head at your dramatic solution to the worst case scenario.

You lean back into your seat, head falling backwards and breathing out a loud sigh. "Maybe, I don't know." You groan.

"Right, just get this over with. Go to the breakroom, get yourself a drink and you never know, you might bump into him on your way back. Perfect chance to talk!" Jill takes your hands and leads you out of the office, pushing you away as your feet finally take you forward.

"Hate you!" You call out as you walk away, turning the corner of the hall with a shaky exhale.

With much reluctance, you reach the breakroom which is miraculously empty. You head straight to the cupboard, pulling out a clean glass and filling it up with some crisp cold water from the sink. The liquid smooths down your throat as you take a small sip, easing your nerves ever so slightly.

You turn around, facing the entrance of the room with your back leaning against the counter. Your hands gripping your glass as tight as you can, the pads of your fingertips fading white from the pressure.

The door swings open, welcoming a large, muscly figure that instantly makes your breath hitch in your throat.

Shit, he's here, right now. Nobody else is here. You didn't plan for this.

"Oh hey, Bambi. You all good?" Carlos asks as he grabs a mug, turning on the coffee pot which fills the room with some background noise. Though it doesn't help with your current situation, if anything, it makes you feel more overwhelmed.

"Y-yeah..good." You stutter out, heart beating aggressively against your chest, filling your ears with the repetitive, booming thud. "And uhm..you? Are you good?"

Why can't you just converse like a normal human, why are you making this so awkward?

"I am, thank you." He smiles at you, making your heart flutter at the sight. His smile is contagious, so warm and joyful at any moment. How he can be so cheerful all the time is crazy to you.

"You sure you're okay? You're looking a little...flustered?" His gaze tracks down to your hands gripping the glass like a vice, skin a brighter shade of red with your breathing much heavier than normal.

Come on, just tell him.

"Yeah!" You almost squeak out, turning back around and placing the glass down onto the counter. Your fingers tap on the surface, before you finally manage to say something.

"Hey uh...so I've been wanting to...uhm." Your voice is quiet, words shaking with your nerves and anxiety running through your body.

You remind yourself what Jill told you. "Wouldn't you rather just find out how he feels, rather than live in constant anxiety around him?"

"Sorry." The word slips out faster than you could anticipate. Your eyes closed as you shake your head in shock at your own self.

"It's alright, take your time." Carlos softly adds, leaning against the counter next to you, his body angled to face you.

"So," you laugh, "This is going to make me seem so pathetic." You warn him, briefly flicking your eyes up to see Carlos watching you with more patience than anyone has had with you before.

"Impossible." Carlos lightly shakes his head with a smile on his face, telling you that he understands. A weighted hand rests on your arm, gentle and soothing.

This is it, just say it.

"I've had..uhm...feelings for you for a while now.." You wince at your words, taking in how Carlos's eyes widen and brows shoot up in surprise.

The room falls silent for a minute, the sound of your heart and breath the only thing you can hear. The longer he stays quiet, the more you realise how stupid this was of you, you shouldn't have said anything.

"Shit sorry," You finally break the thick, awkward hush between the both of you. "This is so unprofessional of me, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything and we can just go back–"

"Woah woah," Carlos cuts off your rambling. You hide your face in your hands, where's that massive sinkhole to take you away when you need it?

"I haven't even said anything yet!" He lightly chuckles. The depth of his laugh vibrating in your chest. "Hey, listen to me." Carlos softly pulls your hands away, revealing the mortified look covering your face.

"I feel the same. I've felt the same for a while too." He looks down at you with his eyebrows still high up on his forehead.

You can't believe what you're hearing, he actually likes you. Jill was actually right. God she's going to be so smug about it.

"Why haven't you said anything?" You quietly ask, the only thing that your brain could process to say in response.

"I dunno, I guess I always see you with Leon...and just assumed that you two are.." Carlos leads off, insisting something that makes your face scrunch up.

"No! God no, no no no..." You laugh, feeling a lot more relaxed and at ease than moments before. "Leon's a friend, basically like my brother. He's been making fun of me for how I've been acting around you." You shake your head at the thought of Carlos thinking you and Leon dated.

Carlos releases a sigh mixed with a laugh of relief. "Good,"

The space between you returns to another silence, just less awkward. More...nervous?

"So, if we're both on the same page...can I take you out for dinner sometime?" He asks with caution, worry showing all across his face. Frown lines more apparent as he waits for a response.

"Absoluely!" You accidentally announce in excitement. "I mean..yeah sure."

Carlos lets out another chuckle, the air around you growing lighter with every second. "Perfect, you free tomorrow night?"

"I am, yeah." A smile paints over your face, your chest no longer tight. Your breathing is less heavy, your hands aren't slick with sweat, though your heart is still beating rather quickly.

"Great, I'll pick you up from yours at 7." Carlos states matter of factly, not even asking whether that time is good for you. Seeming as though he's already got a plan set out for this, you bet he takes his women to the fanciest of restaurants.

You only nod your head, Carlos leaving you with a soft tap on your arm before heading out. You wait until you know damn well he's out of the vicinity, a loud, high pitch noise sounding from your mouth in excitement.

You take one last swig of your water, staying put in the breakroom for a few more minutes until your heart regulates back to a normal pace. You eventually leave the room with a magnificent poker face if you do say so yourself.

Once reaching the office, Jill is still sitting at your desk with Leon. They both turn their heads, faces morphing into a smile as you join them.

"So..." Jill begins, crossing a leg over the other. "You were gone for a while. This better mean that you spoke to him, and not that you hid in the bathroom." She leans back with crossed arms.

"Yeah...we spoke." You thin your lips in an attempt to conceal the smile threatening to show.

"And..?" Leon draws out.

"And...he's taking me out for dinner tomorrow." The smile now entirely takes over, Jill erupting into gasps of shock and happiness as she brings you into a hug.

"I knew it! I fucking knew it!" She quiets her voice.

"Fucking finally, no more Bambi replacing my friend." Leon jokes, but you know he too is happy for you.

Jill immediately turns the conversation into a plan for tomorrow night, what you're wearing, how you're doing your hair, what colour eyeshadow and lipstick. She eventually decides that she'll just come over and help you get ready instead.

You can't help the grin that's permanently tugging at your lips, your stomach still full with butterflies at the thought of dating THE Carlos Oliveira.

A/N: Tysm for the request!! If you have a request, read my terms🩷

Dm or comment to be on my Taglist!

Taglist:

@flutteringwingss @angelssundae

Dividers from @uzmacchiato

[darkangel-madness]

Honestly SO PROUD 🥺🇪🇸

From Cucurella's & Ferran Torres' Socials & ESPN on Twitter for the Yamal pic.

[darkangel-madness]

Spain I'm counting on you 🤞🏽🇪🇸

[darkangel-madness]

France 💔

[trippinsorrows]

https://www.tumblr.com/trippinsorrows/821980566314483712/punk-looks-like-he-doesnt-wash-his-ass-at-all-he

Hi there this is for the reblog comment on this ask

It’s totally ignorant of me to leave such a stupid bad taste comment over here 😞 I didn’t have any idea about the history attached to it so this is totally on me I clearly should’ve done better

Please forgive me for my lack of knowledge

@darkangel-madness

[darkangel-madness]

Thank you anon, I appreciate you for coming forward and apologizing. I accept your apology and forgive. I understand that you were not aware of it before, but mistakes happen just be mindful and careful for next time :) I'm glad you are aware of it now. Again, I appreciate you for coming back and apologizing as well as being understanding 🩵

Thank you for tagging me Ari, appreciate it 🩵

[trippinsorrows]

Punk looks like he doesn’t wash his ass at all

He seems like those gurus who smear their own pee as lotions

now, friend 😫😫😫😫

i screamed when i read this cause WHAT is the reason 😭😭😭😭😭

[darkangel-madness]

I don't mean to be a buzzkill, and to come off as rude, but this showed up on my TL. I do say in the nicest way possible, if the Anon is going to poke fun at someone, they should do it without bringing up someone else's culture, and yes that was mine. They should do their research before saying such stuff. Gurus, they're spiritual superiors in cultures & religions & associating them with the joke about Punk not cleaning himself...idk it's weird.

There are other ways to do it without being discriminatory.

[trippinsorrows]

it's not a buzzkill nor is it being rude, and you shouldn't preface with that because your feelings are all the way valid.

thank you for sharing and reposting this because it's a moment to educate, though you shouldn't have to. please accept my apology as i truly had no idea that was an actual practice irl. i assumed it was a made up thing for the sake of the commentary. 1000% on me, and i take full accountability for that.

the og sender also sent in an apology as well, and i will tag you in that, friend. 💖

[darkangel-madness]

I appreciate you for being understanding friend, no problem. I tried not to come off as harsh, and hopefully I didn't, because I felt like the person didn't know. But yes, I know in cultures in some parts of the world cow urine is used as a practice for rituals and purification. I appreciate the apology and forgive you friend 🩵 Mistakes happen, I'm glad this was acknowledged, and that you know now. Same with the anon, hopefully others will too who didn't know and are now educated on the topic. As always I appreciate your kindness and understanding, friend and for bringing this up to educate. Thank you for tagging me, I will check it out 🩵

[trippinsorrows]

Punk looks like he doesn’t wash his ass at all

He seems like those gurus who smear their own pee as lotions

now, friend 😫😫😫😫

i screamed when i read this cause WHAT is the reason 😭😭😭😭😭

[darkangel-madness]

I don't mean to be a buzzkill, and to come off as rude, but this showed up on my TL. I do say in the nicest way possible, if the Anon is going to poke fun at someone, they should do it without bringing up someone else's culture, and yes that was mine. They should do their research before saying such stuff. Gurus, they're spiritual superiors in cultures & religions & associating them with the joke about Punk not cleaning himself...idk it's weird.

There are other ways to do it without being discriminatory.

[trippinsorrows]

author’s note: my deepest apologies for how long this took. life be lifing. i'd read this one carefully. certain things are revealed and/or inferred indirectly. pairing: roman reigns x black!oc x jey uso warnings: angst. strong themes regarding infidelity, domestic violence, and death. psychological elements. some scenes may be triggering and difficult to read. reader discretion is strongly advised. words: 5k+ song inspo: ❝ somewhere only we know❞ by keane credit:  photos from pinterest and google images. fic and chapter title graphics by me. mdni divider by @strangergraphics previous + masterlist + taglist request form

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀© 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒™

“I wonder where she is…”

Heaven feigns a loud sigh and blows out a dramatic breath, making the curls spilling over her face to fly forward before tossing down against her cheek. She pushes back a tendril and tucks it behind her ear. Shrugging and another feigned exhale accompany the way she looks at her nails. Short, almond, painted the perfect shade of white that matches the loose dress with flowy sleeves, a cinched waist, and brushes the top of her knees.

“I guess I won’t be able to find her…”

Her intentional announcement is accompanied by the way she carefully, slowly, and methodically takes step by step, the blades of forest green grass tickling the portion of skin exposed on her feet from her sandals. “I can’t believe she really beat me….” Continuing to lean into the performance, it’s only when she catches the the glimpse of an arm with a complexion several shades lighter than the tree she hides behind that Heaven makes her grand reveal.

“There she is!” 

The shout comes seconds after Heaven jumps forward and attempts to grab her. Happy, loud giggles as she breaks free from Heaven’s loose hold and starts to run away. Her little legs only taking her so far before Heaven grabs her again, this time the two of them falling into the ground.

The pasture absorbs their bodies like a memory foam pillow, molding around the curves of Heaven’s body as the little girl lays on top of her and continues to laugh happily from the way Heaven playfully tickles.

“You found me!” 

“I did,” Heaven’s smile deepens, her eyes narrowing from the fleeting glimpses of sun that rains down on her, peaking through the head of dark curls every time she writhes and wiggles from the tickle session.

It’s when she rolls over, however, and Heaven can feel the full strength of the sun that her smile settles, her shoulders sink deeper into the grass, and her eyes shut. There aren’t enough words to adequately describe the level of…peace she feels in this moment. The sun is bright but the heat is almost nonexistent. The aroma of fresh flowers that don’t crush under her weight but instead bow almost in reverence around their bodies. Faint whistles and swishing sounds of the wind brushing against the most beautiful example of God’s finest work that Heaven has ever seen.

Never an outside person, there’s nothing that she can list off as a con for the space that feels less like a pasture and more like a safe haven.

Rolls and valleys of endless greenery and forestry. There’s an aura that feels almost too good to be real. Like it contains and conveys a level of peace that defies and contrasts reality and what exists in the realm of capabilities. 

Heaven feels so….light.

She feels free.

The sort of free that one prays for but rarely ever achieves. 

At least….not in this life.

The laughter once more draws her focus as mischief flashes in her pretty eyes before she jumps up and starts to run off once more. Heaven’s smile deepens as she too sits up and starts to give chase when she stops. Turns her head just enough to where the breeze brushes past her hair, whipping it against her face as her brows start to cave inward and the smile falters.

Something…..

Something’s not right.

She continues to turn around, the peace that encompassed is now one that unsettles. It’s all so perfect. Too perfect.

And then she hears it. Hears the sound that makes her entire body still and toes dig into the ground that suddenly feels impossibly softer than before. As if it's adapted. As if it’s molding itself to her feet to keep her planted when her knees begin to wobble and balance falters. 

Giggles. 

That of a child. A little girl.

And not the one a few feet away.

“Macy…” 

Heaven turns around, eyes foraging the vast plains as if trying to seek out the voice. Seek her.

She starts to step forward when a small tug on her dress forces her to turn around. Heaven looks down to see the little girl staring up at her with that same gaze of excitement and with that happy smile that reveals a top and bottom row of small, perfectly straight, white teeth. Impossibly white, almost.

A recurring theme of this place, it seems.

Impossibility.

Releasing the fabric, she instead makes a beckoning motion with her fingers before reaching for Heaven’s hand, all five wrapping around and giving a light squeeze. 

It’s a grasp that the older woman allows, but it’s the extent of permission granted as Heaven plants her feet in the ground. The crumble of the young girl’s smile evokes a heavy lump in the back of Heaven's throat and births a weight that sits on her chest. Anchors her body down both physically and metaphorically, as she drops to her knees, hands to the child’s shoulders. 

She swallows, feeling that familiar burning sensation that’s intensified by the way the sun beams down on her. “You are an amazing little girl, sweetie.” Words that comes from a place she can’t identify, but it’s a place that feels familiar. Natural. Innate. “But I know another amazing little girl, and she needs me. She—she needs me more than you do.”

And Heaven needs her. Perhaps more than the other way around.

It’s a realization spurned simply from the sound of her daughter’s laughter. One of the best sounds in the world, and one that she can’t push from her head. Hears on repeat at a volume that feels like it only knows increase. 

But the space reserved for her sweet Macy is shared with concern for this girl in front of her who reminds her so much of her daughter. Heaven expects the disappointment that flashes in her eyes, but it’s when she briefly breaks away that the guilt forms. 

“Honey—”

Heaven stops when she realizes the girl isn’t going far. Just quickly scuffles a few feet away to a strip of flowers and picks two before quietly returning to Heaven who observes them with marvel and curiosity. It’s such a strange variation of which she’s never seen before. A crossbreed of roses and tulips. 

One pink and one blue.

But the curiosity travels when the girl reaches with her free hand and pushes past the swell of the material to touch Heaven’s stomach. It’s a touch that makes her gasp from the memory that instantly slams into her.

The baby…

For the first time since awaking in this sort of paradise, dread begins to seep in. But it’s monetarily paused when she watches the girl’s smile revive as she lifts her eyes to meet Heaven’s and offers the flowers that are easily and naturally accepted. Even as the confusion remains. 

“I don’t….” She stumbles. “I don’t und—”

Her small fingers rubbing gently against Heaven’s belly as she drops her eyes once more before lifting them and nodding happily. But once more, another unexpected act when the child lunges forward and hugs her.

Heaven’s shoulders instantly relax, the flowers still gripped in her hand as she returns the embrace. She closes her eyes, another wave of ardent emotion overtaking her. A sense of despondency and regret.

Like she doesn’t want to do this.

Like she doesn’t want to leave.

Like she doesn’t want to leave this little girl. Because leaving her almost feels like….it feels like she’s leaving Macy. 

But she’s not. She’s leaving her because of Macy.

So why does it feel like there isn’t much of a difference?

If any.

“It’s okay.” Heaven gasps as the child breaks her silence. Her small voice, light and pure, sounding and reminding her so much of Macy. “And it’s okay you didn’t keep me. I know you wanted to.” The quietest intake of breath is followed by the way Heaven's eyes shoot open, electricity dancing up her spine. Her fingers both somehow tingling and numb concurrently. 

What….what did she just say?

The little girl presses her body closer, as if wanting to mold the two of them together, to soak in and capture this moment as much as she possibly can. 

To never forget.

“Bye, mommy.” 

——————

A multitude of senses are triggered almost immediately and simultaneously, but the first thing that Heaven can detect in this new realm of consciousness are the sounds. A variety of them, most of which are sounded out by a consistent, regulated beep that’s both familiar and disconcerting. That discomfort is exacerbated by the way she struggles to open her eyes, several flutters and focused efforts needed to lift and maintain. An uphill battle similar to that of pushing a large boulder up the steep heel of setbacks but one she overcomes and largely because of the new sound that’s added to her immediate environment. 

“Heaven?”

Another familiar sound that's partially drowned out in the midst of Heaven also becoming more aware of her surrounding. The sounds. The sterile, non-existent smell in the room. The heaviness of her body and cool, foreign sensations up and down her arms. A throbbing one near her right shoulder. She manages a deep breath through her still closed mouth when the view of the still slightly blurred television is replaced with a set of eyes similar to her own.

Her mom’s.

“Oh, thank God.” Heaven groans lowly as her mother reaches to caress the top of her head, watery eyes locked on her. “My beautiful girl.”

Blinking several times over, Heaven continues to work to reach the point where she can communicate, but the grogginess is consistent and persistent. Awareness intermittent, to a certain extent. Enough to where she hears and sees the way her mother briefly turns her head and calls for a nurse before she’s focused on her daughter once more. “Heaven, do you know where you are?”

Heaven offers a small nod, and it might be the easiest thing she’s done. A hospital. She’s in a hospital. 

But why?

And because Shelia Jackson is nothing short of sharp—if not psychic—she reads the question that doesn’t even need to be asked. 

“Honey….” Heaven observes the subtle motion in the middle of her mother’s neck, a small bulge forming and disappearing. A swallow. A deep one. “You were attacked—”

Perhaps additional words follow the word ‘attacked,’ but it’s all incoherent mush that’s barely audible amidst the rush of memories that slam into Heaven with enough force to send her back if she wasn’t already lying down.

The fire.

Macy. 

Jey.

The hotel.

Roman.

Macy. 

Whatever time has passed since her entire world began to crumble before her very eyes is suddenly filled with horrifying remembrance of what initially brought her to the hospital. 

And she doesn’t mean her own admission.

“Macy,” Heaven croaks, a sting in the back of her throat as she forces herself to speak for what must be the first time in—how long has she been asleep? “Where—where’s Macy?”

An attempt to sit up brings about a sharp, sudden pain in her shoulder as Shelia drops her hand to Heaven’s forearm.

“Careful, baby. You—” She stops, Heaven’s furrowed brows lifting to meet her mother’s eyes once more. “You were shot.”

Once more, a stillness that halts her movements and attempted efforts at answers. Heaven….remembers it. Remembers being at the hotel, at hearing a knock at the door, expecting to see the woman in front of her on the other side. 

It wasn’t.

It was someone else she thought she knew. Someone she thought she loved. And maybe she did. But whatever love existed for the man she’s spent the better part of her life with died the moment he left her baby inside that burning building.

And once more, Heaven casts aside any thoughts and considerations for herself. She can work through that later. 

She needs to get to her daughter.

She needs to get to Macy. 

Heaven attempts to snatch her arm away from her mom, ignoring the stinging sensation of the IV in her arm shifting from the sudden movements. Shelia presses her lips together as Heaven continues to find her voice. “Where’s Macy?” 

Shelia opens her mouth, her own sympathetic expression unchanging when rushed footsteps draws the focus of both mother and daughter. Shelia straightens as Heaven remains steadfast in her efforts to, one, get up, and two, get up to find her daughter. Regardless of the nurses and doctor moving towards her.

The doctor, an older man with a balding head and crows eyes but a seemingly genuine disposition, steps closer. His voice calm and soothing. “Mrs. Uso—”

“I want to see my daughter,” she interrupts, uncaring of feigning pleasantries for the sake of it. Being nice and displaying manners is the last fucking thing on her mind. “Where—”

An additional set of hands and the feeling of being surrounded and overwhelmed heighten Heaven’s anxiety, as words and fragmented sentences continue to float in and out.

“….bullet missed the heart and lungs….”

“………significant blood loss…..”

“……hemorrhagic shock……”

“………..emergency surgery….....”

“……,…babies are stable….....”

“……..two days……”

All of it is relevant information, of that, Heaven is certain, but it’s the last portion of shared information that sticks with her and answers just one of her many questions. One that is near the top of the importance list.

“Two days?” She breathes, realizing only then on top of administering information as the nurses inspected her, he was also asking her a set of basic questions she’d apparently answered in the midst of growing internal panic. “I—I’ve been out for two days?”

Shelia, standing closely, hand on the railing of the hospital bed, opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted by her daughter once more as another realization returns to Heaven.

“Macy….we—we’re supposed—supposed to know—” She shakes her head, ignoring the rising level of physical pain and discomfort in her body and face as certain facial motions evoke a stinging, throbbing sensation in her cheek. “Where’s Macy!” 

Because Heaven remembers. Recalls the conversation with Macy’s medical team. If she’s been unconscious for two days now, then that means it’s either time or close to the time where they should have a better understanding of Macy’s status.

If she sustained any brain damage. 

And if so….how severe.

Determination and resilience sometimes result in success, as is the case when Heaven finally manages to sway the doctor. Her mother’s cosign in the form of a whispered statement to the doctor also being a helpful additive. If the situation were different, Heaven would perhaps press on what was said, but it’s inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. 

The only thing that Heaven cares about, the only thing that matters, is seeing her baby girl.

That’s it.

It’s what remains the constant in the back, front, and all over her mind as she’s helped out of the bed and into a wheelchair that’s brought in a few minutes later. The journey from her room to the pediatric ward of the ICU includes the accompanying of her mother, two nurses, one who pushes her in the wheelchair and the other who guides the IV pole. Assisted ambulation eventually guiding Heaven to her destination. 

Energy shifts the minute she’s wheeled into the room as if making way and place for her arrival. Dread rebuilds and returns with a startling vengeance as the discomfort that’s floated through her body in a variety of ways since her return to consciousness is no longer germane in place of a greater calamity. The room, roughly the same size as the one she was excerpted from, suddenly feels so much smaller with the congregation of bodies. White coats. Scrubs. Machines galore making the same sounds she awoke to. All surrounding the bed to where the only thing she can make out is the thin, white sheets, faint outline of short legs, and slightly elevated feet. Hushed whispers and a set of eyes that land on her, wearing a variety of expressions. But it’s two in particular that capture her focus longer than the rest, that briefly distract her from attempts to obtain a better view of her baby.

“Heaven….”

Roman is the first to speak, Nathan only a few feet away, but Heaven locks gazes with the elder of the two, and her stomach twists into an abundance of knots. Flashes of their last interaction—the hotel, Jey, the gun—once more another flood of memories. Ones that she briefly remembered when she came to but shoved aside for the sake of her child. But only a few feet away from the man whose last statements to her were ones of disgust and hurt is another story. She can’t look way nor can she ignore how…..tired exhausted he looks. Deep, dark bags under his eyes. Frizzy hair lazily pulled back unlike the neat but he’s always ensured to perfect before leaving the house. Even his attire, the wrinkled fabric of his shirt and sweat pants, visibly thrown on in haste and with little regard for appearance, it’s so….unlike him. But it makes all the sense. 

He’s exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Truth be told, Heaven wouldn’t be surprised if he’s simply a reflection of herself with marginal differences.

Roman steps forward as Heaven squeezes her mom’s hand and holds onto the nurses forearm with her other hand while they help her to her feet. He gaze flicks between the two of them, unspoken communication as she naturally reaches for him, fingers snapping around his forearm. She swallows, an array of words needing to be spoken, truthful, honest communication never having a more appropriate time to be had. But once more, it’s a necessity that must be shoved to the back burner.

Her eyes water as he lifts one hand to her face that Heaven is almost certain must be slightly swollen, on top of bruised, given the flashes of intermittent pain that accompany her speech. “Macy…”

He mimics her motion, a prominent bulge and disappearance in the middle of his neck. “They’re about to wean her sedation to see….”

His inability to continue is all the answer she needs. 

Heaven can’t allow herself to think about the reason why for his difficulty in completing his answer. 

She motions with her chin towards the bed where Macy lays, offering a small smile to her nephew who simply returns the gesture with a small nod and a flash of regret in his warm eyes. Heaven recalls her last interaction with him, too, and mentally adds him to the list of people she needs to speak with. 

Just one of many. But as Roman assists her to Macy’s bedside, her mom and the nurse guiding her IV pole close behind, the emotion that was already brewing reaches its boiling point.

A sharp intake of breath when she looks down at her baby girl, eyes closed, face still scuffed up, arm still wrapped, far too many wires connected to her. Far too many medical personnel surrounding her. She shouldn’t be here. In this bed. In this sterile room. In this situation.

This should have never happened.

“Mrs.—”

“Heaven,” she corrects, hand trembling as she reaches to stroke Macy’s cheek before flitting her gaze to the doctor. “It’s just Heaven.”

He nods before offering a gentle explanation as to the steps seconds away from commencing. Similair to what Roman said, just verbalized in a mixture of medical and regular terminology. But it’s when the actions are initiated that Heaven’s chest feels like it’s about to cave in on itself. Seconds that feel as if they’re being stretched into hours. Announcement of each task accompanied by Heaven’s grip on Roman’s forearm tightening, her eyes, as well as his, never once leaving Macy’s peaceful expression. 

They’re paralyzed and frozen in time waiting and watching with a shared level of trepidation mingled in with burning hope.

Because in that moment, it’s all they have. 

“Macy,” Heaven whispers, stomach clenching as she works to find her voice. It doesn’t matter that Macy’s hair, pulled back and tucked under her head, reveal the absence of her hearing aids. Heaven isn’t speaking to Macy for her to hear. She’s speaking to Macy for her to feel. “Baby, you gotta wake up. Mommy…mommy and daddy are here waiting for you.” Though her focus is on her child, her eyesight doesn’t need to be set on the man beside her to know that he has a visible reaction to her words. Barely an hour out of her own sedation, Heaven also doesn’t need to have regained control of all her faculties to know that this is the first time she’s ever openly referred to him as such. 

As Macy’s father. 

She continues, ignoring the pain from her shoulder as she bends over, the arm of the bed digging into her stomach. “I came back for you, May May.” Her voice cracks. “Now I need you to come back for me.” 

Another reaction to poignant words, from both her lover and mother, are lost in the sea of irrelevance at the sight of something. Subtle. So so subtle and minimal that Heaven is partially surprised she can make it out through her blurred vision. And for a moment, she questions herself. Questions if her desire is overpowering her sense.

And then it happens again. 

That same motion with increased visibility that’s caught by others as well, Roman’s deep voice whispering from beside her.

“Macy?” 

Once more, voices are drowned out as Heaven feels the weight in her stomach dropping and caving when visible progression results into fluttering. Macy’s eyes begin to flutter, each motion evoking sounds from around but none more than her parents who stand her bedside. 

“Macy?” Heaven cries and watches as her little girls eyelids fully lift and remain open, granting the room with a set of soft brown eyes that haven’t been seen in almost three days. Heaven has to grip Roman’s arm once more to keep from fainting. The shock of her awaking temporarily halts what would be the most logical next step for her parents as the doctor says something that's lost in the midst of endless relief. 

Her lips press together, lines creasing in her forward, the faintest hint of a scowl similar to that of when she’s awoken premature from a nap. Confused. She looks confused, and understandably so. 

But as a nurse begins to sign what would be the start of a basic line of questioning, Macy’s eyes instead flick to the left where her teary eyed parents stand beside her overcome with joy. 

Joy so overwhelming that Heaven can barely make out what Roman says as he shifts just enough to lean over and kiss Macy’s forehead. But it doesn’t stop her, nor him, from following the length of Macy’s non injured arm as her fingers flex. Similar, small baby steps that lead up to the way she lifts her arms just enough to sign with her hands. Slow, laggard movements, tension in her fingers from days of non-movement causing her to take longer than usual, but the result is so so worth it. 

Mommy

Another heartfelt sob erupts from Heaven’s mouth right as Macy’s eyes shift to the left, to Roman, and her fingers makes a different motion. Her fingers move a smidge quicker than before. 

Daddy

Heaven places her hand over her heart, issuing an abundance of silent prayers as the tension of the room immediately melts away to make way for immense gratitude. If not for the vast amount of relief felt at Macy awake and coherent, perhaps Heaven would have focused more on it. Sensed the swell of emotion from beside her at Macy's acknowledgement.

The acknoweldgment of her father.

Her real father.

But it’s the final signing she does that allow humor to mingle in with gratefulness.

Cookie. 

Only then as several of the adults in room break into light laughter does Heaven start to tune back into the conversations at hand. The nurse who was signing with Macy cracks a small, meaningful smile. She talks while signing. “I definitely think we can see about getting you some cookies, sweetie.” 

At that, Roman clears his throat, still caressing the top of Macy’s head as Heaven reaches for her hand. “No. It’s….it’s her stuffed animal.”

“She doesn’t go anywhere without it,” Heaven finishes. Nathan and her mother move closer, attempting to interact with Macy whose hands have returned to her side, her expression unchanged. But the mere fact that Heaven is looking into her baby girl’s open eyes instead of them closed and indicating an outcome from the worst sort of nightmare is more than enough for her. 

The doctor begins to task the nurse with signing a set of basic questions for Macy, most of which, Heaven is sure, is standard protocol. Most likely to gauge her level of awareness, though her being able to identify her parents is more than enough for Heaven.

Macy simply being awake is more than enough for Heaven. 

With everything transpiring, the array of voices filling the room that’s suddenly far less morose than when she initially entered, Heaven is moderately surprised when she overhears a set of footsteps. Perhaps it’s the almost rushed pace, or maybe it’s the lingering essence of always being daddy’s little girl that has her turn around to see her father enter. But it’s the way he stands closer to the door, away from Macy’s bedside and how he beckons over her mother that gives Heaven pause. Especially when she watches the way her mother’s smile dips and transitions into a confused frown as she walks over. 

Her attention is especially secured when her father angles his and Shelia’s body away, not once seeming to pay attention to the fact that Macy, his only grandchild, is awake. Ignoring her is one thing, but Macy?

Concern spikes, however, when, even without seeing their faces, Heaven can infer from their tense postures that something….something is wrong. 

That nagging, uncomfortable feeling dancing up her spine as she speaks up. “What is it?” 

And the feeling intensifies when her parents turn to her and cook up the quickest, most insincere “nothing” that she shoots down immediately. “What is it?”

Shelia presses her lips together. “Heaven.”

“Tell me.” 

Heaven doesn’t intend to raise her voice as much as she does. She especially doesn’t intend to snatch away the focus from Macy via Nathan and Roman’s confused expressions, but Macy’s lack of her hearing aids leave her oblivious to the conversation at hand.

Thus, Heaven pushing once more. Something in the base of her stomach tells her that she needs to. That she can’t and shouldn’t accept whatever excuse or lie her parents want to feed her for the sake of avoiding whatever fallout the truth may carry with it. 

That’s what caused all this mess in the first place.

But the truth that’s disclosed is a truth she could have never anticipated.

“They found him,” her father answers. “They found Jey.”

Something about hearing his name sends chills up Heaven’s spine. Evokes a myriad emotions. Anger dominating them all. But the anger is shoved aside in favor of clarification. “What—what do you mean they found him?” 

Heaven remembers Jey attacking her. Recalls the struggle for the gun. Everything after that is nothing more than a blank page, but in her mind, Jey should be locked up somewhere. He attacked her. Tried to kill her. Almost killed her daughter.

He should be buried under that damn jail. 

“He went on the run after….” Shelia trails off, her husband taking her hand as he offers a small nod.

“They located him though. Received an anonymous tip,” he continues. The pause, however, increases Heaven’s anxiety. The omission of what she would guess is a key piece of information having her press once more.

“What—”

“He was shot, Heaven,” he finally answers, voice void of any emotions and the concern in his eyes undoubtedly reserved for her and Macy. But primarily her and having to share such jarring news. “They found him unconscious. Beaten and shot. He’s apparently in critical condition. It doesn't look good. They don’t think he's going to—”

She’s unsure if it’s the way she turns her head away, staring at the ground, working to process the information, that makes her father pause in his explanation. Most likely. It’s certainly not from being choked up or holding any ounce of remorse or grief.

Jey’s sins are far too great and grave for her to extend any sort of compassion. Empathy has limitations, and Jey reached his the moment he left her daughter in their burning home. Perhaps the shock of what occurred has her in a state of emotional paralysis, but him attacking her, trying to kill her, isn’t even what drives her fury with him. It’s Macy. His crimes against Macy are unforgivable. 

Though lack of empathy doesn’t deprive her brain from springing out several thoughts, most of which circle around a single word.

Who.

Who attacked Jey?

It’s an unasked question, however, that still has little to no emotion attached to it. 

Nothing that Heaven actually feels. Truth be told, she’s not exactly sure what she feels. At least not until she happens to look behind her, wanting to ensure that Macy, though not physically possible, has not overheard news Heaven hasn’t the slightest idea how she’s going to break to her sweet little girl. 

Especially if….

But it’s halted when two other expressions snag her focus. 

Roman and Nathan. Twins in so many different ways, their personalities and dispositions almost identical. The first few seconds reveal brief, minor distinctions that, if not for how well she knows both father and son, she could have easily missed. The subtle tick of Roman’s jaw and motion of his bushy brows, weary eyes flashing with something unidentifiable. Similarly, there’s a discreet rise and fall of Nathan's shoulders followed by his mouth shifting before his expression lands in the same place as his father’s. Identical, nonchalant, calm, stoic look on their faces. And while she certainly wouldn’t expect either to emote any sort of despair or sorrow, it’s the lack of something she would expect to see that makes her still.

Shock.

They don’t….they don’t look shocked. 

Not even a little.

And there’s something unsettling about that for completely different reason. Something that has her stomach in knots and spurns widespread disquiet. “What—“

An interrupted, unasked question lost in the midst of another sound inserted into the commotion of the room, voices layered over one another, but that consternated tone overpowering the rest.

“Macy?”

Her daughter’s name being called is what forces Heaven to return her focus to her child, the sight of which immediately makes her stomach churn.

“Macy.”

Macy doesn’t respond though, and her silence isn’t due to the lack of her hearing aids and thus inability to hear. It’s because of the sudden, jerking motions of her body as medical staff swarm around her right as several of the machines connected to her baby start alarming loudly and frantic, some slow and intermittent, some speedily and with urgency that matches that of the team around her.

“She’s seizing.” 

“Her oxygen is dropping.” 

“She’s coding.” 

“Clear the room now!”

All sentences that whip past Heaven as she attempts to close the distance between her and her innocent baby, the view completely obscured by scrubs and a white coat. Arms and hands moving and reaching with purpose and necessity, some of which, however, serve as barriers.

“Macy!” 

It’s an out-of-body experience, the heartfelt sound of her baby’s name ripped from her mouth. From Roman’s. Both of them being restrained and forced away from a scene neither can look away from. Their efforts valiant and without respite, even as Heaven feels the sharp pain of the IV ripping out from her arm what with her desperate flailing and swinging of her arms against the nurses holding her back. Her and Roman's voice nothing but heartbreaking echoes of the deepest sort of terror as they scream for their child.

“MACY!”  

And similar to the same sight that haunted her that night, as she once more poured every ounce of energy in her body to get to her daughter, Heaven. continues to push. As does Roman. They continue to fight and resist. Tenacity undeterred as the cacophony of noise is usurped by a single, continuous, uninterrupted sound. 

A flatline.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⟡ ＮＥＸＴ⟡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐚𝐦⠀— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀７／１２／２６