The Hogwarts Gazette
I crown myself Queen of the Halloween party, a worthy win considering none of you peasants even made it close to what I achieved. Now, the runners up, or the Queen’s court if you will, are as follows.
Leighton Avery swayed her hips into the hall with a ‘B’ necklace that could have stood for ‘Bitches beware’ instead of ‘Boleyn’. The girl turned many heads with her short skirt and low-cut bodice. My Mother personally taught me the phrase ‘chest OR legs’ but clearly Leighton’s mother taught her the altered ‘Chest AND legs’. Either way, the girl made an impression, and just like the great lady herself Anne Boleyn, many of the male’s heads did indeed roll (across the room watching her).
Pandora Fortescue, or should I say Lady Selene looked like she was dripping with stars. She captured the elegance of the moon perfectly with a full-length tulle gown that almost had constellations sewn into it. The look was finished with sparkly shoes and makeup and a head piece shaped like a moon, so even the most dim-witted Hufflepuff knew what she was. If anyone came up to you with the annoying question of “so what are you supposed to be” I hope you smacked them over the face with your moon hat.
The next in line for my appraisal is one Mary Conrad. She came as the Lioness of Brittany, not that you should need reminding, the tight black corset and shiny red lips should haunt a lot of your dreams. She looked drop dead gorgeous in her outfit, plus, points for historical accuracy, some of you could take notes on how to do a historical figure correctly from Mary, you know who you are. The only thing that could have improved her look would be a grand entrance upon a ship, but she already knows that.
My next selection may cause a bit of controversy, but who am I to shy away from drama. Madeline Maestro looked like molten silver in her evening gown and diamond accessories, real diamonds, not costumes ones, please take note. Her depiction of a Veela was perfection, an already stunning girl made herself almost too desirable with the dewy makeup and alluring red lip. And yes, I am aware that she doesn’t actually attend Hogwarts, but for those that may have an issue with it, please take it up with yourself and your lacking costume rather than spamming my owlery.
The last female on my list is Astraea Burke. The younger Slytherin entered the Great hall and stole almost as much attention as I did. Her costume left us all in shock, a far cry from her couple’s costume of Babbity Rabbity and her cackling stump that she did with her brother the year before. She was covered in head to toe gold and she has never looked so good. The dress was a work of art, and her shoes, where did you get them? It was all topped off with a pair of golden wings, a girl after my own heart it would seem.
And now for the male population, Benjy Fenwick put almost as much effort into his costume as I did, and it really showed. He walked through the hallways, making the first and second years scream with fear, the mark of a truly scary Halloween costume. The all black suit and face mask paired with the hat and purposefully worn doctors bag made it known to everyone what he came as. Another perfectly executed historical costume, I applaud thee, half for the costume, and half for the scaring of little kids.
Elliott Borgin and Richard Wilkes came as a pair. They are seen almost everywhere together; it would seem even the cells of Azkaban. The pair of runaway convicts looked exceptional, going all out with fake tattoos and prison numbers. They looked the perfect mix of hot teenaged boy and ruffled bad guy that would make the lesser females swoon. I must say however, if they need a place to hide from the law, they could always use my bedroom.
It would seem the Burke siblings made the right choice to not come as a couple once again. Although he stuck to his favourite book of ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ Tristram Burke went solo this year and it worked ever so in his favour. Coming as the Warlock from the ever-loved fable ‘The Warlock’s Hairy Heart’ he looked the epitome of a true gentleman. His clearly custom-made outfit reeked of wealth and looks, luring in the entire female population of Hogwarts. The dedication he had to his look impressed me, any boy that carries around a hairy heart all evening deserves to be mentioned.
My final mention is one Landon Boot. Although the boy clearly likes drama (See Rita’s article for more) his costume was simple, dignified and executed perfectly. To the untrained eye, which is most of you, he was just a boy covered in blood, but to those superior beings, like myself it was more. The charms it took to create that never-ending stream of blood was well beyond the talents of most of you, and a pair of perfectly tailored trousers never goes amiss. The boy chose his look and did it well.
I would also like to give a special thanks to all those boys that came topless. Thank you for giving us a distraction from all those that came in a less fortunate costumes, some were truly a sight for sore eyes.
To conclude, I’m going to offer you some much needed advice, a word of caution even. To the rest of you uncultured swine’s, who clearly can’t put two items of clothing together without help, no one enjoys asking the question ‘so who are you meant to be’. Save your vague muggle references and half-arsed concepts for family gatherings, the Hogwarts Halloween party deserves better than that, come on people, we’re not at Beauxbatons, DO BETTER!
@queenlcigh @dorafxrtescue @maryconrad @madelinemaestro @astraeaburke @thatkidbenjy @borgins @richdickwilkes @violentdelighxt @landonboot