Compare your Keefe boy to a song, BUT it can't be Olivia Rodrigo or Taylor Swift >:)
OOOOHHH THIS IS DIFFICULT BUT I CAN DO THIS
all the things she said by tATu!!!
Gonna paste the lyrics here:
All the things she said (all the things she said)
This is not enough (enough, enough, enough)
^^that’s the chorus, and I think it’s about the things his mother said to him growing up, prepping him to have a “legacy,” making him wonder what things might be like if she actually loved him….
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?
^^keefe doesn’t ask for help. He hides behind jokes and runs away when his defenses fall. But with sophie… she’s special to him. And he’s less afraid to ask for help.
I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Want to fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else, so we can be free
Nobody else, so we can be free
^^keefe reveals in stellarlune that he tried to ignore Sophie’s telepathic message after he ran away to keep himself from thinking of her and wanting to come home. He doesn’t want to face his reality, but he doesn’t want to be away from sophie either 😭
And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Want to fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
^^Keefe has a lot of things that are his fault. If you’ve seen me post about him, you know he’s screwed up. Big time. And a lot. And of course he cares, he cares, he cares about sophie so so so much and he wishes he could have her but during his time in the forbidden cities he doesn’t think he CAN have her because she has Fitz and he wants her to be happy. He wishes he and sophie could live in this perfect world where he hadn’t hurt her and all his friends and himself. In unlocked, he even refers to the issue with the caches as “the one betrayal he couldn’t seem to fix”—Keefe is trying so hard. But too often, it isn’t enough.
When they stop and stare, don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head
^^Keefe knows, since he is an empath, that Sophie’s emotions are torn regarding romance, even before SHE knows it. He tries to not worry about he, he tells himself he wants her to be happy with Fitz, but he knows she has feelings for her because he can feel them and in his nightfall short story he agrees with Ro that it drives him crazy—but he wants sophie to have whatever she wants. (Good thing in stellarlune she realizes she wants him so they can have their happy ending.)
^^if you haven’t realized by now, KEEFE’S PARENTS ARE THE WORST. His father is abusive and neglectful. His mother is a villain who only wants to use him to her own ends. And he feels as though he’ll never be free of them, either of them, always… and his mother tells him, all the time, to “embrace the change,” to “fulfill his legacy,” and he doesn’t want to be changed by his mom and he’s grieving the mother he thought he knew who wasn’t a good parent but wasn’t THIS either… and he does wonder sometimes. Has he crossed the line? Is this the betrayal he WON’T be able to fix? How many times will sophie forgive him? How many times will the thing he is SURE is right turn out to actually be wrong?
THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK SOPHIE!!! This was so much fun—and now I’m having Keefe feelings!! (But then, when am I not?)
jbbartram-illu
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