Baby, You Have Hurt Me Too Much @darlingpromise - Tumblr Blog

slut1991

sweet edition

are you a honey or jam person… are you a mango or strawberry person… are you a milk chocolate or dark chocolate person…?

itakesoceans

Alright, I knew early on that the world did not care about women. But I thought we were getting a closer to it. Closer to a future in which people listen, care, protect, and take action. But we’re not there yet.

I’m exhausted of seeing it. Disappointed in hearing what classmates and people I thought I respected say. I thought you were better.... We live in a world with a lot of suffering.

All I want it honesty, if you don’t care please do not pretend you do. Please stop supporting and protecting abusers. Stop letting them get away when they rape and beat us. You say you hear me, but you’re not listening. You’re still playing Kodak the rapist, and Chris Brown the woman beater, and Johnny Depp his buddy. They call us liars, attention seekers, or tell us to get over it.

What’s it gonna take? Does it have to happen to your sister, your mother, or you?

purplebuddhaquotes

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

okay so I’ve been rereading 13 reasons why, a book that I haven’t read since high school and it’s been bringing up some old things. From 14-18 life was pretty rough for me and I think that’s when my suicidal thoughts were the worst. There were somedays I could’ve jumped off at school.

Anyway I’m really far away from feeling that way, my life is amazing it’s been an absolute dream. Now it’s just crazy that this was ever on my mind I have so much more to do. It’s such a trip looking back.

Looking back at what I was is interesting. I was such an unhappy girl even before the tragic stuff, which is surprising. I was so lonely, and frightened of the world. I felt ugly, self-conscious, misunderstood and unaccepted. I wanted love and I wanted it so badly. Then I decided that I didn’t want to act that way even if I felt it. I wanted to feel anything else besides an emptiness. I was drinking alcohol to escape from my emotions and sometimes they were spilling out even when undesired. Then the first tragedy, the concussion. 2 years of memory gone. Once erased completely and the other just not retained when it happened. That’s when the world let me down, most people will do anything to save their ass, even if it means covering up what happened to you. Things just seemed pointless, I felt like I couldn’t remember anything which made me think I should just be as reckless as I want. Then there was the rape. I was going to say it happened at the worst possible time, but I don’t think there's a best time for that. That's when I felt as low as ever. My consent was disregarded and did that shake my worst, it made me feel helpless, which later made me become heartless. That whole year gave me a pounding, I try not to think about it that much, but it happened and I accept everything that has happened to me. I really thought I couldn't say no to anything. Also with the medication I was on and the memory loss it was very difficult to feel emotions, I thought I could do whatever and lie, without feeling a thing. Promiscuity wow, how could you.

I recognize that’s the old me. Parts of her are still here, but some of them were there because I was sick and not emotionally stable. I sorry for who I hurt and even a little sorry for those that hurt me.

Now a lighter note. The person I am now is different. I am stronger than any other thing I can imagine. Maybe not physically, but emotionally and spiritually I can take anything. I learned to love and accept myself for who I am and I know how to take care of myself. Everything that happened to me and everyone who hurt me, it was a horrible challenge, but I learned to get back up. I vow that no matter what happens I will always get back up. I found something to believe in and it’s amazing. I’m really happy I got back up because there are so many people that I am going to love and that will love me.