i close my eyes and the moment is gone. forever. im back to the depths of my darkest sea and hell is getting hard to get the fuck out.

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@darlingweareonfire
i close my eyes and the moment is gone. forever. im back to the depths of my darkest sea and hell is getting hard to get the fuck out.
I'm so tired of everybody's bullshit
bts-home
© to @chenkims like or reblog if you save please
It's scary how fast time passes and all the things that are left behind. We miss a lot, regret a few, but how grateful are we? Not many people think about it. To think about that, it makes sad most of the time. How many beautiful moments did I let go just for being too focus in something negative? Too many for sure. That sucks. Yet, will I really change? Not sure...
走山水-南澳原始闊葉林 by 水蠟燭
The woods.
Everytime I go out for a walk, I take my headphones with me to silence the rest of the world. But the other day I had a panic attack, and I just started running, anywhere, far, fast, away. I ended up in a wood close to my house, with my legs aching, I didn't even know my headphones where. But I heard it. The nature, the sound of trees swinging, the birds singing, the bugs flying and running around. No cars, no alarms, no gossiping, no strollers, no society. I love it. The sky was orange, there were no clouds, only the trees starting to bloom. It was cold yet so peacefully warm. I was not afraid. I remember being afraid of the woods. But im not afraid of it, im afraid of people and what they can do to and in those woods. People scares me, because me, as a bad person, i know how mad they can be.
Ya no vivo para mí.
Entre las expectativas de mi madre, mi padre, mis amigos y mis propios demonios, ya no puedo recordar que es lo que de verdad me gusta, lo que quiero para mí futuro, quién me gustaría ser. Ya no sé quién soy. Ya no disfruto de mis hobbies, ya no los siento míos. Todo lo que hago lo cuestiono, ¿Para que hago esto? ¿Para que tanto trabajo, tanto esfuerzo, tanto amor? ¿Dónde quedó mi motivación, mis pasiones? Ni siquiera sé cuál es la moral de mis acciones, ¿Estoy siendo buena porque de verdad es como soy o porque espero algo a cambio? Ya no estoy segura de tener buenas intenciones. El otro día mientras esperaba por mi turno en el hospital cómo a una señora mayor se caía la billetera. Mire alrededor, cada quien en lo suyo, nadie lo había notado. Y pensé, “podría solo dejarla allí, no es asunto mío después de todo”. Aún así me levanté, la recogí y se la entregué, la señora me lo agradeció y yo solo le devolví una sonrisa vacía. “Es lo correcto” me dije, pero no lo que quería hacer. Y me he sentido de esta misma manera por mucho tiempo ya. He dejado de hablar de nuevo. Ayer rompí un jarrón, and oh, honey, we are back to black.
Es porque los demonios están en nuestras mentes
-Una chica invisible.
Because I want my words somewhere in the internet...