Darth Xerxes

A fantasy and sci-fi writer just looking to make his way through the galaxy. He/they..💙💜🩷 ☭

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"how shall we name our months, my Emperor?" "the first month shall honor Janus, the god of choices, to honor the beginning of the year. the second shall be called February, for the purification held on the ides. the third shall Honor Mars the god of war. the fourth shall be named for the opening of the flowers of spring. the fifth shall honor the goddess of fertility Maia. the sixth shall honor the mother goddess Juno. the seventh and eighth shall honor the first and second emperor's, Julius Caesar, and Augustus." "and what about the last four months, your majesty?" "...seven, eight, nine, and ten." "...really?" "I GOT LAZY OKAY!?"

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to say that I dislike bananas is an understatement. to say that I detest bananas is an understatement still. words are insufficient to express the depth of my incandescent loathing for those creatures of the pit. so allow me to phrase it as such; I have hated bananas since I was in my mother's womb and that is not hyperbole. my mother actually told me that she was incapable of eating bananas for the duration of her pregnancy. I rewrote her palate so that she could not consume them while I was still inside her. they are crimes against the gods, abominations against nature. waxy filmy cloying clones of clones of clones of a species which should have gone extinct seventy years ago. they are symbols of the destructive nature of capitalism, of the corruptive goals of consumerism. they are the embodiment of the sins of modern society, wars fought, gallons of innocent blood spilled to keep the banana alive. and any banana which EXISTS IN THIS WORLD DOES SO WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND MY ONLY WISH, IF I WERE GRANTED THE SUPERNATURAL POWER WOULD BE RO DO THE GODS A SERVICE AND WIPE THE ABOMINABLE YELLOW STAIN FROM THIS EARTH AND RETURN PEACE TO HUMANITY!

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My mom works as a pharmacy tech, so she had to memorize the names of pretty much every medication. So now whenever we are watching a TV show, whenever they mention the name of a medication my dad and I look at her like

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one thing I like about Stormlight Archives and I think it markes a significant shift in fantasy, Game of Thrones and its contemporary works represented a departure from the bright and mythic medievalism of Tolkien and Disney. gallant knights in shining armor saving the day selflessly. it showed human characters with human motivations simply surviving in a caricature of realistic feudal rights and contracts. what Stormlight does is bring back the gallant selfless knights but it does so in a way that appeals to modern standards of heroism, which are largely shaped by marvel superheroes. combining the superhero with the knight we get figures who are still flawed, and human, but innately good, and selfless, and brave. in a way it's hegelian. like a form of fantasy dialectics. Tolkien was the thesis, ASOIAF was the antithesis, and Stormlight Archives is the Synthesis.

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whoever wrote america the beautiful was colorblind. what mountains are you looking at that are purple? what grain are you seeing that is amber? that is gold at best.

[darthxerxes04]

Hugh Morris, the one who pulls all.

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The Shepherds Demise

"Sheep gather where they graze.

under Shepherd's watch and loving care.

in the pale and foggy haze.

'tween Black sheep and White, peace was rare.

and for man, the Shepherd was old.

and to kill, the Wolf would dare.

Shepherd slain, the Wolf grew bold.

peace, to the Sheep was sworn.

and this to the Sheep was told.

"look, Sheep," said he to the White, "at their dark fleece and bloody horn!"

"it was them," he said, "not I who did the Shepherd kill."

dismay, the Black, for their horns, no blood shed, and their fleece to them was born.

"Tis clay!" They cried, "from the river by the still!"

But lupine lies took root and sheeply hate was fed,

And the White, like smoke, did rise and drive them from the hill.

And in the night as Sheep yawned and took to bed

The Wolf stalked out to feast on sheeply meat

And of the Black none remained but blood and severed head.

And in the morn when they woke, they bleat

on sight of sheeply hide and gore.

Of enemies they'd defeat.

One stood above the rest and to the Sheep implore

"Who," he said, "save the Wolf, gains from this black and evil deed?"

But to him, the Sheep ignore.

And the Wolf began to howl and laugh, for he care not indeed,

For color of wool or shape of horn

But for sheeply meat beneath.

[darthxerxes04]

sleep is weird. like you are unconscious for 8 hours a day, and while unconscious your dream shows you a movie to keep you entertained. except the script is often bad and filled with plot holes. sometimes while you're falling asleep you hear voices. also sometimes you'll feel like you just feel off a cliff, don't worry perfectly normal. also very rarely, you might wake up and see a demon. that happens.

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I had an idea for a dark fantasy Christmas book. But unfortunately Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is not yet in the public domain. so I cannot write my tragic dark fantasy subversion where Rudolph leads a violent revolution against Santa clause and becomes a horrible dictator with Hermey as his second in command. However, I then learned that due to a clerical error, characters original to the movie adaptation are in the public domain! So technically I could write it from the perspective of Hermey and Yukon Cornelius, with Rudolph only ever alluded to by epithets like "the red-nosed"

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I am sick and tired of the performative progressivism on the internet. people care more about the prestige of sounding like a perfect liberal than they do the actual problems. I am going to tell y'all a hard truth; not every ally is going to be perfect. but an imperfect ally is better than any "perfect" performative asswipe. Bubba from down the way living in a trailer, is infinitely more progressive when he says "I don't care what's going on in someone's pants, them tr***ies can be however they wanna be to be happy. and anyone who says otherwise is a r**ard" than the average rich, straight, white, cis college student who insists he is a perfect feminist because he says "LGBTQIA2S++" and took one (1) women's studies class.

by gatekeeping language as a social shibboleth you alienate allies who use outdated vernacular but have the right heart. instead of treating them like the enemy, or even trying to ""educate"" them, accept them. because ACTION is more important than WORDS. your high horsing about vernacular is doing somewhere between JACK SHIT and FUCK ALL for the actual causes you are fighting for.

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I was thinking earlier, "damn, so we do have some sci fi innovations, just not the ones we want." then I realized;

Wait a minute what am I talking about? I am currently typing this on a computer small enough to fit into my pocket which contains the sum total of human knowledge. scientists are actively working on fusion reaction as a green energy source. we are making headway in WARP CAPABILITIES, and we are all worried about AI TAKING OVER OUR JOBS. meanwhile they are in the middle of inventing BRAIN-COMPUTER INTERFACES IN THE MOST UNETHICAL WAYS POSSIBLE, and we are currently in the early stages of COLONIZING MARS. if a nerdy teenager from 1985 was suddenly transported to 2025 he would slap me in the face and tell me THIS IS SCI FI TIMES.

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imagine how much better things would be if two countries both had to agree before they went to war. "Oh you mind a cheeky spot of war, old chap?" "honestly I'm not quite in the mood just yet."

"oh thats quite alright perhaps some other time"

"jolly good, then!"

[darthxerxes04]

my routine the past couple weeks has been. step 1) play Silksong

Step 2) die in silksong

Step 3) die in silksong again

step 4) die in silksong again

step 5) quit silksong

step 6) play Cyberpunk

Step 7) repeat

[darthxerxes04]

I'm a sweet pans-vestite

From pansexual

Pan-nsylvania

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you may think I hate on the inhumans just because they are a popular group in marvel to pick on, and you'd be wrong. My distaste for the inhumans goes back a long time. When I was a kid the inhumans TV series was airing, and my parents, who are also huge comic book fans, asked me if I wanted to watch it with them. I asked, "who are the inhumans? Are they, like, mutants or something?" And my parents said "no" so I said "no" and I went to my room and played Minecraft. And my beef with the inhumans started there.

[darthxerxes04]

you may think I hate on the inhumans just because they are a popular group in marvel to pick on, and you'd be wrong. My distaste for the inhumans goes back a long time. When I was a kid the inhumans TV series was airing, and my parents, who are also huge comic book fans, asked me if I wanted to watch it with them. I asked, "who are the inhumans? Are they, like, mutants or something?" And my parents said "no" so I said "no" and I went to my room and played Minecraft. And my beef with the inhumans started there.

[darthxerxes04]

I found a smooth shark in the wild.

[darthxerxes04]

Guys it gets even better, he hasn't caught on!!!