to say that I dislike bananas is an understatement. to say that I detest bananas is an understatement still. words are insufficient to express the depth of my incandescent loathing for those creatures of the pit. so allow me to phrase it as such; I have hated bananas since I was in my mother's womb and that is not hyperbole. my mother actually told me that she was incapable of eating bananas for the duration of her pregnancy. I rewrote her palate so that she could not consume them while I was still inside her. they are crimes against the gods, abominations against nature. waxy filmy cloying clones of clones of clones of a species which should have gone extinct seventy years ago. they are symbols of the destructive nature of capitalism, of the corruptive goals of consumerism. they are the embodiment of the sins of modern society, wars fought, gallons of innocent blood spilled to keep the banana alive. and any banana which EXISTS IN THIS WORLD DOES SO WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND MY ONLY WISH, IF I WERE GRANTED THE SUPERNATURAL POWER WOULD BE RO DO THE GODS A SERVICE AND WIPE THE ABOMINABLE YELLOW STAIN FROM THIS EARTH AND RETURN PEACE TO HUMANITY!











