Ich mag Sachen.

Blubb^^

[countrytoads]

catfish simultaneously look like they possess infinite knowledge of the universe and like they just have the mii theme playing in their head nonstop

[countrytoads]

you see what i mean

[aimmyarrowshigh]

I can’t believe Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley heard it was my birthday!

[oystergf]

ever think about how istanbul was constantinople… now it’s istanbul, not constantinople

[charlesoberonn]

Why did Constantinople get the works?

[humanlyimprobable]

thats nobody’s business but the turks

[whatwecanfic]

Well even old New York was once New Amsterdam.

[lucide-dreamer-dreams]

Why’d they change it?

[amusewithaview]

I can’t say.

[nemhaine42]

people just liked it better that way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[edromyheart]

[killedbyanacorn]

[wizard-of-the-cave]

[papasmoke]

Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet

[papasmoke]

His most mighty Exaltedness would like to request that you fetch him a mint condition DVD of the beloved Earth film; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, failure to do so will result in a fate… worse than death.

[papasmoke]

[stolentweets]

[it-started-over-drarry]

I’M SCREAMING

[tardisacrosstheuniverse]

ok but

she literally already did do this

[thegreyzen]

Aipom is her spirit Pokemon.

[dinosarden]

[tyrantitar]

[underbliss]

98.7 stilLlLl :( Here’s a realllllly uncomfortable Haron spliced onto Ernol’s body with some of Ernol’s hair that both fit really well and really poorly…. …

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

[das-lulu]

[onceuponymous]

[egberts]

[fakehistory]

Ant-man bathing in hot sauce for bonus damage (2019)

[benkinsky]

I hate that you don´t have to give extra content because everyone on the internet already knows what´s going on and why hot sauce would be considered “bonus damage”

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

Ever seen a hedgehog stretch?

You’re Welcome! 🦔

[milesgmorales-archive]

#dedicated to the gram

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

…that happen. yeah, that.

[photomementos]

d.va sesshomaru

[khrysoprase-deactivated20190903]

Shit My Dad Says: Romance Edition

Context for those of you just tuning in to these posts: my dad’s third language is English, his first is Uzbek, and sometimes the rest of world is not yet ready for the results.

“Sometimes love is like a song - and I can’t read music.”

“True love is realizing neither of us has any idea what’s going on but liking each other enough not to point out how lost you are.”

“Love women like they’re pretzels. Use the tongue.”

“Never wear beige. Beige repels all the boys in the yard.”

When my sister’s boyfriend cheated on her: “It’s like he pooped in your bed. I know this betrayal.”

“Slowdancing is the mayonnaise of sex.”

“Women use lipstick to mark men as their property.” To my mom, immediately: “And it’s an honor, ma’am.”

“The colors of Valentine’s Day are flesh, bones and blood. I like it.”

“You know what they say - eat until your heartbreak goes out.”

“Do not marry anyone you would not stab a man seventy-seven times for.”

While picking out jewelry for my mom: “This is giving me eels.” “…you mean feels?” “No no no! The eels you get in your stomach before something important. They wriggle. Listen to your eels, son. Your eels know the way.”

[just-antithings]

ur dad has the best romantic advice I’ve ever heard