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I am angry. I want to break things.

James?

It’s been almost a month that we’ve been engaged and I can still hardly believe it. I’m so happy and things have been so good. We’ve got the kids more now, Dan’s whole custody battle still isn’t over, but it’s really looking up for him. I’ve been looking through so many wedding catalogs lately. The first on my list is picking out a dress that’s as beautiful as my ring. I’m so obsessed with it, it’s crazy. I’m so ready to be married to my best friend.

I’m so obsessed with this beautiful ring. Dan did good. He’s going to be a perfect husband.

#update;

danstevensnews

Dan Stevens on Sam Jones… (x)

#I love one man!!!!!#amor;

midsommars-deactivated20201109

Blockers (2018) Directed by Kay Cannon

DUN DUN DUN !!! It’s almost Dooms Day. Well, not really. I know Dan’s really nervous about everything, but so far he’s passed all the tests. He’s done everything he’s had to do for this moment.

We got the lawyer. He bought a house and we fixed up a room for each one of the kids so they’d each have their own space. He’s got stability. A stable income, stable job, stable girlfriend. The kids are comfortable and happy. We’ve got three pups and a kitty. He has the fact that Willow wants to come live with us full time in his aresenal. He’s all set.

I know he’s so nervous about this. About getting a more fair custody agreement. But I think he’s going to do great. And I’m going to be there by his side fighting every step of the way, just like I’ve been from the beginning. This is a big step for him, for the kids, for us. But I’m more than ready for this. To take this on with him.

Willow’s already slipped up and called me mom before. We haven’t talked about the oopsie yet, Dan and I. But I hope he know that I’d do anything for him and the kids. And it makes me so happy knowing that they feel like they can see me as a motherly figure. That they love me enough to even consider me as such.

#update;

Had to work some magic for Blaine and put him on contact with Maxton’s brother. I lied to Dan and flew out to New York as a cover. Worked a quick podcast interview so I wasn’t completely lying and there was something I could use as a cover. After the podcast Blaine and I flew to Delaware and picked up the drugs for his latest sale.

I’m really hoping he pulls away from all of this.. it’s not good. And I can’t keep helping anymore. I have a family now and I can’t jeopardize things with Dan and his children. After we picked everything up I flew back to New York and Dan and the kids met me there. We spent a few days exploring. But I felt so sick with guilt that I had to come clean to Dan. I had to tell him.

He’s upset that I lied, that I haven’t let him in one hundred percent to every aspect of my job. But I think that he understood that it was more to protect than anything. But no more secrets. From here on out he knows everything. And I don’t mess with this again. I can’t do this again.

#update;

I’ve been in Delaware for a couple days. Got things squared away for Blaine. I might have to be involved for a little longer, but I have to get to New York for the weekend. Dan and the kids are coming to spend the weekend... a little vacation before heading back home. God, I can’t fuck this up with him. I can’t fuck things up for him.

#update;

God, I really couldn’t be happier. We’ve been living together for a good while now. And there really wasn’t a need for much adjustment. Dan and I work really well together and we’ve been practically living together, sorta, since we were messing around. I was always spending nights and weekends with him. It’s not much different from now. Just feels more permanent. Feels like things are actually more solid and our future looks even brighter.

We get the kids more now too and it’s so good to have them at home. We haven’t quite gotten the new custody arrangement yet, but we’re hoping to get that worked out and set in stone soon. In the meantime, Dan and I talked a little more about our future. About marriage and kids of our own. And for once it’s something I’m considering. Even excited about. Doesn’t matter that it’s not for some time down the road. I’m happy and excited about starting a family, a life with the love of my life.

#update;