Lt. Commander Data

I have noticed that my anecdotes are not always well-received, so I have decided to attempt a 21st century form of communication known as a "web log" for others to peruse at their leisure. (Independent Data fan blog, mostly in-character though I do not intend to do much "serious" RP with it.)

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For anyone who may be experiencing emotional difficulty at this time.

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It would appear there has been an increase in the circulation of this image so I feel it necessary to check in and make certain you are all alright.

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"boop!" *pokes nose*

...Guinan?

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For anyone who may be experiencing emotional difficulty at this time.

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I have learned that it was once customary among humans to go outdoors during a snowfall to catch the flakes on one’s tongue. While I could have used the holodeck for this purpose, I decided to attempt it during our recent visit to a very cold planet.

Unfortunately the snow on Althea IV is highly alkaline and did not react well with my lubricating biofluids. After my automated internal diagnostics set off several warnings, I decided it was best that I cease the attempt.

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Hey Data! How are you doing? I was curious if you’d celebrate Halloween, be it by dressing in a costume or other such activities?

While Halloween is not a common celebration aboard the Enterprise, I do have a fondness for joining my shipmates on the holodeck, which often involves the use of costumes.

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Happy Halloween, Data!!! 👻👽🎃

I believe my return of your well-wishes is slightly delayed.

I hope that your Halloween was... I believe the term is “spooky”, is it not?

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Data I need a hug

I am given to understand that many hugs are required today.

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I believe I am, to use the human expression, “getting the hang of this.”

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I have attempted another meme. However, Commander Riker informs me that he believes I may have missed the point.

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It is my understanding that 21st century felines respond positively to the sound of a can being opened. I decided to test this stimulus to see if it in inherent in feline nature, or if it is a learned behavior. As Spot has only ever eaten replicated supplements, she does not have any reason to associate the sound with food.

It would appear it is indeed a learned behavior, as Spot remained uninterested until I provided her instead with one of her favorite toys.

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I have decided to create an altered version of this experiment by instead replaying the sound of a food replicator being activated.

As spot is now rubbing her head quite vigorously against my ankles, I feel it necessary to provide compensation for the ruse.

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hi data! how’s spot doing today?

Spot is doing well. So far she has deposited a large volume of shed fur into the crevices of my computer console, climbed into the bookshelf to retrieve a toy, and broken 3 fragile items.

We are... still working on discipline.

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data can i get a hug i am experiencing bad emotions

Certainly.

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Data, if neonate kittens were discovered on the enterprise, (provided it wouldn't interfere with your duties) would you foster them and give them kitten formula until they were old enough to care for themselves?

Of course! Although it may be prudent to share such a responsibility with Lieutenant Barclay, as he seems to have a great deal of experience with cats.

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Mr. Data, what's the strangest situation you've ever found yourself in?

There are many strange situations we have encountered aboard the Enterprise. It is difficult to discern what might qualify any one experience as “the strangest”.

Although once I did accompany my shipmates on a brief shore leave to Risa and...

...ah. I have been informed this story is inappropriate for mixed company. My apologies.

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I have a joke for you, Commander! A robot is on trial for beating a man half to death. Part way through the trial, the robot begins to power down. The Prosecutor says, "your honor, we ask that the defendant be changed with battery."

I... am uncertain how to respond. Much of the human sense of humor still eludes me.

This is, I believe, a play on words?

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Commander Riker has informed me that burning one’s mouth on hot food one is too eager to eat is “the universal human experience”. I am also told that pizza is a traditional food for this experience. However, in order to damage the lining of my mouth, I believe I would have to replicate food at a temperature that may be unsafe for other materials in the vicinity. This bears further thought.

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Counselor Troi, Captain Picard, and Doctor Crusher have all advised against my attempts.

Geordi has grudgingly agreed to help me devise a suitable plan, however he insists on having all of the requisite repair materials on hand before we proceed. His reasoning is sound.

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The captain has refused to disengage the replicator safety protocols and Commander Riker is in agreement.

It would seem this is another human experience that will be, at the very least, delayed.

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Commander Riker has informed me that burning one’s mouth on hot food one is too eager to eat is “the universal human experience”. I am also told that pizza is a traditional food for this experience. However, in order to damage the lining of my mouth, I believe I would have to replicate food at a temperature that may be unsafe for other materials in the vicinity. This bears further thought.

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Counselor Troi, Captain Picard, and Doctor Crusher have all advised against my attempts.

Geordi has grudgingly agreed to help me devise a suitable plan, however he insists on having all of the requisite repair materials on hand before we proceed. His reasoning is sound.