Why you should NOT purchase an STP device
This is advice for newly out transmasculine people, particularly ones who plan to use men's public restrooms. I've been out for 10 years, and I want to share my experience with the next generation. Here are some things I wish I knew when I first came out:
1. STPs can be expensive. They were more expensive when I first came out, but still, if you're a broke kid or broke young adult or broke anyone, you have to think carefully about what you spend your money on. When I came out, I was lucky enough to have fairly masculine women's clothes to wear, but some people buy a whole new wardrobe, including chest binders. You may spend money on changing legal documents, and that can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars depending on the document and the government you live under. Medical care may also be hundreds or thousands of dollars for you, depending on your insurance. Many companies who make STPs are also in the U.S., and if international shipping rates apply to you, that's an additional expense. If there's something you can go without, it's definitely an STP.
2. I had to buy half a dozen STPs before I found the right one for me, and this is very common. When you read through reviews, one common thing people say is "This is the best one I've tried so far" or "this is not as good as the one I already own." Also, I'm 5 foot tall, so I struggled to find something small enough to look natural, fit comfortably between my somewhat thick thighs, and hold enough liquid that I could use it without spills. If I had bought the right one the first time, I would have saved close to a thousand dollars. The reality is that you will probably have to buy multiples before you find the right one for you.
3. Plenty of cis guys use the toilet to pee and avoid urinals. The privacy is very nice to have. Having an STP is not likely to meaningfully help you pass if that's your primary reason for wanting one. Everyone's life is different, but I've personally never been in a situation where having something realistic would have helped me pass in front of cis men staring at my naked body, and even the most realistic (and expensive) ones aren't that realistic. Other than at the doctor's, I'm not in situations where I am naked in front of strangers, ever. But more importantly, my preferred STP would never allow me to pass. It's designed to be functional, not realistic, and in my experience, the ones that focus more on being functional are better. You'll be in situations where you want to be able to use it to pee much more often than situations where you want it to look realistic if your life is anything like mine. Get on hormone blockers early if you can, or on T early. It makes a huge difference.
4. On the topic of passing. I thought an STP would help me pass. I was desperate to pass. But the reality is that no one is staring at our crotches most of the time. The truth is that, unless you were genetically blessed, your chances of passing are low if you aren't on T in most circumstances. Even once you're on T, if your genetics aren't in your favor with how T will affect you, you won't pass well. It's a truth I'm still wrestling with, still trying to accept about myself. I hate making phone calls because my voice is too feminine. Building muscle helps, too. I have a chronic pain disorder and a condition where my knees are deteriorating from my use of them, so heavy exercise isn't possible for me. My hips are wide, my voice is high, and that's just how it is.
5. Peeing standing up is not all it's cracked up to be. Not for me, at least. Half the urinals I've peed at have had urine all over the floor. I'm also not very good at convincing my body, which has been trained for years to pee only sitting down, that peeing while standing is fine, actually. Not to mention, I never feel 100% empty when I pee standing up. Having to control your stream is also a pain. It takes me three times as long to pee as the cis men around me. I've learned to just deal with it, but early on, it made me feel like I stood out like a sore thumb. If your dysphoria is bad, the stress of doing something so public may worsen it for you.
Now, for those of you who can afford an STP comfortably and want to know what I use, it's the Flip-N-Tuck. It took some getting used to since the way you wear it is different from anything I had used before. I like that you can wear it with any underwear. I think the shape, size, and length of the urine cup are great. I wish the shaft could be a bit longer, but I think that would interfere with how it packs. Using it has a big learning curve, but not in the way other STP devices do. The positioning of the urine cup was super easy for me, but it might have to do with the fact that I've used so many other STP devices before this one. What is awkward about it is flipping it. It involves a lot of moving things around down there, which is why I prefer to use it when the urinals have a divider. It makes peeing take a bit longer, but it's worth it to me since I feel so confident I won't have any accidents with it. Confidence that I won't pee all over myself goes a long way to getting my muscles to relax so I can actually pee. However, my very favorite thing about the Flip-N-Tuck is that it doesn't go between my thighs. I find that way more comfortable with my thick thighs, though it would be even more comfortable if the balls were smaller or just nonexistent. I find their presence unnecessary.
However, the Flip-N-Tuck is $165 plus shipping on the FTM Essencials website, a very pretty penny for anyone on a budget. For a more budget friendly option that I also had no accidents with and fit between my thighs well enough, I recommend something like the Number One STP, which is $52 plus shipping on the same website. Rigid is always better for peeing if you ask me. The biggest issue with the Number One STP is that it's not at all like a packer. You're going to want it very between your legs because you'll look like you have a weird bulge. The thing is, rigid generally is better for peeing while softness is generally better for packing. That's the genius of the Flip-N-Tuck to me. It's rigid, but the flipping makes it still tuck well. Regardless, you may still not have $52 plus shipping to spare.
The TLDR is that there are so many better things you could spend your money on than an STP device. They are the farthest thing from an essential.
