David S. Pumpkins

I'm David Pumpkins.Any questions?

[david--s--pumpkins]

This is how this page should always look.

[david--s--pumpkins]

RIP Stan Lee

[showerthoughtsofficial]

We can all walk on water if temperature is low enough

[david--s--pumpkins]

This isn’t a shower thought. This is an Eminem/Beyonce song.

Unless...showerthoughtsofficial is managed by Eminem and Beyonce.

[raptorific]

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

[orestian-deactivated20180120]

none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty

[fandomsonceandforever]

Someone make a movie please.

[raptorific]

Just send me 25% of the funding up front and the rest when I deliver the completed movie. I’ve got a kickstarter and

[spankyhole]

They were sniped halfway through that sentence

[barack-obottm-deactivated201504]

[niknak79]

[internetslug-archive-deactivate]

a centaur that’s half horse, half centaur

[respectfulmemes]

[farmfreshmemes]

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[twitterlols]

[inbox-deactivated20131029]

“go hang a salami” backwards is “im a lasagna hog" and that pleases me

[fairywodger]

how did either of these sentences occur naturally for you to discover this

[thetenderpassion]

[david--s--pumpkins]

[david--s--pumpkins]

[reallyabitch]

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen