A L I C E B Y E @dawdy-blog - Tumblr Blog

I'm still very much blocked out of this account apart from on my phone so apologies for the silence but here's my faces and some updated fish pictures!

#me #pets

I'm thinking about going to the doctors again.. I've been thinking about it for probably a week now. I keep getting waves of uncontrollable emotions due to flashbacks, I keep getting angrier and angrier at myself. Yesterday I threw a glass onto the kitchen floor to relive some of the stress but I don't even remember doing it, I just stood and stared at it for a long time and then slowly cleaned it up. I don't know why I did it. I keep crying uncontrollably and my emotions are everywhere. Anything will just make me in the worst mood possible and I've been ignoring it because it was just 'winter blues'. Im going to do it. I just don't want to see anyone, before I used to want to see someone and not take medication but now I want it over with, I want to see the end of this and I just don't want to talk to a stranger about something I don't even understand.

#mental health #doctor

Werewolf

#me #myart

tincanforest

So I've been locked out of my account and I can only use it via mobile app. I no longer have access to my old hotmail that my tumblr is linked to.. If anyone knows how to help me get back into my account please let me know. I've emailed support and just got a generic email back telling me to make a new account but I've had this account for close to five years and I'm not really ready to give up on it..

#help me

lesbianartandartists

Is lesbian art any and all art made by lesbians regardless of subject matter? Or just that which ‘looks’ lesbian? Who decides what looks lesbian? What role do stereotypes play as visual signifiers of gender, sexuality, and race? Who maintains these stereotypes? What about coded imagery, whose content is apparent only to lesbians? Is any art by lesbian artists ‘lesbian" when it deals with non-lesbian issues and concerns? If work by a lesbian artist with lesbian subject matter is viewed by a straight man who gets off on it, is it still lesbian? Might lesbian sensibility be something entirely separate from lesbian identity or sexual practice? Might it not be characterized by its outlaw status? By a certain dialectic of freedom and imprisonment? Could it be a place of inarticulation, or invention? A place of infinite possibilities? How do gender and sexuality shape visual visual images and how do visual images construct gender and sexual identification? While they have been articulated differently with each decade, these are the messy questions that will not go away. They are raised over and over by the artwork itself.

Harmony Hammond, Lesbian Art in America: A Contemporary History (New York: Rizzoli, 2000), 8. (via lesbianartandartists)

big grump by me

#myart

All i want to do is crappy tattoos again! I spent p much most last summer tattooing myself and jessie and i just want to do 100 goldfish tattoos on myself

Sitting outside in the sun all day was so GOOD i feel so good. We went to the asian supermarket and got a bunch of vegetables and had leftover stew for lunch, sat in the meadow next to our house and had ice lollies and just laid in the sun. I am glad that it is finally warm enough to get my legs and arms out properly! Jessie is now making a thai curry soup with baked tofu and i’m making sushi rice to go with it! A very good day! I am thankful to not have a painful day today. It makes such a difference when I feel like I can get out of bed and do everything I want to do.. It seems like i have been missing out on all the sunny days but today I got my first day of summer because i have had to miss nearly all the other sunny days this year! Jessie is the best for coming outside with me when she’s not feeling super well!

#me #babe

I can get my shorts out!! I finally fit into the shorts jessie got me probably two and a half years ago because i’ve put all my good winter weight on! It’s so hot! we are going to the asian supermarket today and then going to lie down in the meadow :---)

#weight gain #me

I’m in a lot of very constant pain recently and then I got sick and I think my body is just taking a break from me. All I do all day every day is lie in bed and do nothing only very occasionally doing something outside the house and that totally wipes out all my energy and it’s okay, I need to just rest I can’t really rely on my body to function properly right now but it’s so frustrating, i’m definitely getting sick a lot more often and my legs hurt almost daily at the moment and I wouldn’t be able to function very much without Jessie being around and doing all the cooking and cleaning and keeping me company right now. I feel very lucky that the person I love is looking after me.

#pain #illness #babe #jessie #soppy blogging #i didn't know if i should tag this with more?? let me know