⟣&. soulscorched

[dawnbeholder]

There was something chilling about the sunrise lately, Ria had decided. Something that felt... Cold, as if the sunrise itself were a lie. Like it came on borrowed time that had long since run out...

Perhaps it was just her. Maybe, so lost in her concerns, the Astral had forgotten the warmth of the sunlight itself... But that made no sense when she could feel that same warmth every day amongst her family, and among those in the city she'd come to know. Maybe she was imagining it... Maybe it was her own power, tempting, luring. Calling out for her to destroy the world around her like she'd been initially sent there to do...

Despite being wrapped up in her thoughts of the moment, she'd not needed to look to know she wasn't alone on the roof of their home just a few moments later. The temple had been slowly coming back to life since they'd moved back in after the war's end, helping those who lived in Aurora, raising their family within the same walls Mydei had called home for so many years, but she knew this presence specifically: Khaslana. The warmth of the sun in physical form, almost begging her to turn and kiss him good morning like she always did.

But this morning... This morning was different. Warm and comforting as Khaslana was, even he couldn't burn away the feeling of the cold, of something going wrong... So when her lips parted, it wasn't to call his name, or to answer his questions on why she was on the temple's roof-

"...If something goes wrong... I want you to promise me you'll save this world."

Slowly turning to face her husband, Ria's expression turned serious, though pleading and love still shone in her golden-leaning amber eyes. "It may be your nature... But please, Khaslana. Save them. Save them all, if you can - Save this world. Don't let it meet the fate they've set for it. Protect them... Protect our family."

"Even if I'm unable to help, don't destroy this world. Promise me... And save it."

@ruinbeholder

Her words were somber and distant -- so much so, that they almost felt out of place against the warmth and beauty of a rooftop sunrise like this one. In truth, Khaslasa wasn't even sure how to respond to that himself; so he stood there, unmoving, with his gaze lingering over Ria while he tried to pick out his best words. Or at least...while he tried to figure Ria and her reasoning out so that he could reply.

What had she seen about the day that he hadn't? And what had suddenly sunk her mood so low that it'd warranted a good morning greeting like that? She was normally the first to meet the sun with such a happy smile, but today-

" Haven't I already given you my word before that I would? " finally came his counter. " I know what the prophecies say about this world, but Ria...I wouldn't have spent all this time making sure things are as they are only to turn around and burn them all to the ground. Just because the skies speak one thing doesn't mean we have to listen. "

He'd pause again only for Khaslana's attention to turn out toward the rising sun and its unfiltered golden light. In his eyes, those unclouded rays promised nothing but a new day full of potential and productivity; one where anyone could do anything they set their mind to without obstruction. But to Ria...?

" What's got you so spooked all of a sudden? "

What did she see?

[assassin1513]

🩷🌼🧡Golden Spring🧡🌼🩷

[dawnbeholder]

The sounds of windchime-like bells were often a comfort. A sign of Ria's steps, soft and light and easily missed, while in her immaterial form, they were the very sound that rang out whenever she walked with her husbands, keeping them company when a physical form was impossible in the moment for whatever reason... But today, those beels would sound hurried.

Much like someone had grabbed the string of a windchime and shaken it, the soft jingles increased in their volume and franticness with Ria's approach. Not more than a second later, the Astral threw herself at her husband; surrounded in a soft dusting of dark irridescent sparkles, it was the physical that wrapped her arms around his middle, fingers curling tight into the back of his jacket and face burying itself into his chest. It was a hold she'd needed... And a hold she'd not release until her tense, trembling form eventually relaxed.

She didn't need to tell him she'd been lost in some horrible memories, she was sure. With her true form encased in crystal a great distance from them, she didn't exactly need sleep. It did nothing for her makeshift body, but it was still nice to do so anyway, despite having to will herself into it - And it was often prone to nightmares as a result. Nightmares that fairly regularly were just memories of the darkest points of her incredibly long lifespan, like when she'd been forced to stand by and watch as Khaslana had tried to sacrifice himself in the Scepter's hold, and when he and Mydei had faced the end during Halcyon, and...

He's alive. He's alive, here, and you're okay.

Touching him like this was enough - It always was. She'd ask him to call Mydei in a moment, when her voice returned... But for now, she just needed the reassurace he was alive and could, and then she'd get the same from their husband, who'd have been in the same position had she spotted him first instead. She just... Ria... Just...

Give me a moment... My... My everlasting dawn... Please, continue to shine for me forevermore-

She wasn't sure what she'd do if he didnt, muffling a quiet sob.

He wasn't sure what had happened. First, the sound of rushing bell-like steps followed by arms so desperate to grab him, it'd made Phainon stumble forward a step -- but the force that'd crashed into him from Ria's embrace had been something almost unmeasurable. Scared, terrified, panicked. Whatever had sent Ria running to grasp onto him had shook her so ferociously, that her only reaction had been to bury herself into his chest for comfort and cry.

" ... "

And so, Phainon wouldn't say a word at first. Instead, gentle and tender arms would slowly lift themselves to wrap protectively around Ria's back for a secure, snug hold that'd velcro her to his front. Next, a quiet sigh from him would hopefully give her a noise to ground herself to, even if the low sobs from her already threatened to shatter the dawnbringer to pieces.

It was sad and concerning, but-

" ...Ria. "

As much as her state devastated Phainon though -- he wouldn't ask questions. He wouldn't demand answers. He wouldn't force Ria to stay anything until she felt calm and safe enough to. Until then, he'd be her support with nothing more than his warmth and a silent hand massaging her back in a loving embrace.

" ...It's okay. Take as long as you need. " came more solid words, if only to break the mounting heavy feeling surrounding them. " Whatever it is, I'm here. "

@ruinbeholder

[dawnbeholder]

WHAM! It'd been a while, but Khaslana - Phainon - was long overdue for his smaller wife to repay the favor! He'd learned age prior that pinning her back against a wall and leaning over her with a sultry smirk was enough to break her, and now it was her turn... Though all the same, there was no way she could accurately copy his prior plan to fluster her, her arm instead shoved between his and his side for the wall behind him, head tilted back with a teasing grin pulling at her lips. The same? Not quite, but it'd have to do!

"Hey handsome - Anyone tell you your eyes are brighter than the sky itself?"

...Hopefully Mydei wasn't around to witness this one, or she'd never hear the end of his laughter...

" H-Hey, Ria — wha! "

Smack!

Her move toward him had been such a whirlwind that no sooner had Phainon realized he'd been 'under attack' had his back been slammed up against the wall with a delicate mighty arm wedged in between his and his torso, 'pinning' him in place. It took a few blinks for him to realize what'd happened exactly, but eventually, his surprise would melt into a truly caught-off-guard smile.

" Only a true star princess would tell me something like that. Most everyone else doesn't even pay that close attention! " A small laught would work itself in; Phainon resigning himself to being 'captured' before he'd add- " ...This is payback for last time, isn't it? "

[lowaharts]

[maryysarchive]

The sun is high and bright, and the gentle breeze caressing your face carries the scent of wheat fields.

It all comes from this box of rustic pastries, crafted with a taste of home.

A silken giftbox isn't nearly enough to hold all the well-wishes contained within, but hopefully, this sweetness can soothe your fatigue, bringing you peace in this very moment.

Care for a taste?

ESP | ENG

[dawnbeholder]

✦ @ruinbeholder from here!

" A little...bold of me? Haha! That was precisely the point! "

He'd finish her sentence for her, if only because Phainon could tell something in Ria had caught her so off guard, that waiting for her to finish herself probably would've taken a few more uncomfortable seconds still. He hadn't meant to make Ria hesitate! But after being poked and prodded about how he never seemed to keep the Astral on her toes, making Ria second guess that assumption wasn't a bad feeling at all!

That uncertain, defenseless, yet still trusting look in her eyes was actually somewhat adorable anyway. And maybe that's why Phainon would stand there, hovering over Ria in their close proximity for a few more beats longer before he'd finally take a step back to return Ria's personal space, adding in a lighthearted laugh right after.

" Did you like it? Someone said that out of the two of us, I was the one who had the harder time catching you off guard in random moments like these. I told them they were wrong, so I was just trying to prove my point that I definitely still have what it takes to take your breath away~ "

So much so, that even as he'd stepped back slightly, Phainon was still looking overly proud of himself! He really didn't need Ria to tell him he'd 'passed' this self made test, but just for the confirmation, he'd ask anyway.

" So what's my score, Ria? Did I pass with flying colors this time? "

[ruinbeholder]

"A little dicey?" The words were past her lips before she could stop them, disbelief shining in her eyes. How could he call that 'a little dicey' when it had been nothing short of torture for them all, especially him? When the trauma had drawn him away from her and Mydei so far, she'd been petrified they'd lose him, or that he'd rip his part of their soul away in his need for isolation? While the scepter may not have ever truly 'killed' him, there had been a period after where Ria had been convinced the trauma could and likely would, and that he could call that 'a little dicey'...

The memories made her heart hurt, a puase allowing for a hard swallow to push them back down. They weren't here to talk about Amphoreus. What they had done and the traumas left behind from the millions of cycles spent within the Scepter's code were something they could discuss with their husband later - This was a conversation about the skies and their struggles with their technical 'homeland' and for that, she'd let her comment stay as just that: A comment. They could come back to it later, after all, no need to overwhelm themselves and the moment.

So, she'd turn her focus from there to his mention of his and Mydei's care for their shared soul, lips curling into a warm but soft smile. "You're in no position to fight even the sky's guards," Ria reminded, wishing she sat just a tiny bit closer. She would've loved to have taken his hand and hold it right then, or to gently push at his shoulder and use it as an excuse to crawl into his lap and curl against him, bask in his warmth and love... A chance to give back the same feelings he'd sparked in her, the familiar warmth of love sinking right down to her core.

But, like talking with their husband, that could wait another moment or two. The slight lull in their conversation had brought with it another thought, one that stuck no matter how much she tried to think of other things:

"Why... Do you think we were made, Khaslana? What's their goal with all of this...?"

The seriousness of the question made her smile fall, albeit just a bit. it was something she'd wondered off and on, for as long as she could remember; What even was the point? What was the goal, here? For the Cosmos itself to create what it had, and then assign Astrals like themselves to control it all, all while telling them to ignore it... Something felt wrong about that. It felt... Off, but why manipulate them like they had - Why turn the man before her into...

"Dawnbringer, Ruinbringer, Time Weaver, moon, sun... I know we all have our parts in this messed up world, but why? Why do you and I exist for the roles we were assigned at our creation, yet they refuse to allow us the freedom to walk here unsupervised? Why must we ignore the world aside from when we're needed to destroy it? Why must I be called traitor, all for going to Halcyon as I did...? They lack the power to do what you do on their own, I understand. But I don't understand their end goal, or their methods."

"If they're the ones who're messing with me... Don't misunderstand, my Dawn, I brought that upon myself. When I pulled the three of us from... From Amphoreus..." Ria paused, the familliar aches once more rising to her chest, the glow held there almost pulsing along with it for a moment. Speaking that name... Would it ever stop hurting, she wondered? "That was power I knew they'd notice if I used, even as deep into the skies as they keep me. I wasn't going to allow that... Thing to have either of you any longer. But if my prison is to slowly drain me, why would they tamper now?"

"I don't understand, Khas. And... Perhaps that's what keeps me awake much of the time, too - Not knowing, and the risk of something happening to you both once again. If something does, and I... Can't help you stop it, next time..."

[dawnbeholder]

" ... "

There was a long pause from Phainon himself at Ria's barrage of questions; none of which truly had a good or easy answer.

In fact, the situation was awkward. Though they were both beings 'born from the sky' and technically had places among the Astrals of the stars, their relationships with the skies was strained. Ria had been branded a traitor for her involvement with Mydei and had been locked up in a deep space energy prison, and Phainon -- Khaslana -- had a leash wrapped so tightly around his position as Dawnbringer that breaking free from the cycle of worldly destruction was almost impossible.

Even if they'd managed to reach a fragile middle ground, with Ria's immaterial form and Phainon's constant series of cycles, even he knew it was only a matter of time until their situation turned critical again. The skies knew that, too...and that's why they kept such a deathgrip on both Ria and him.

Still, Phainon would eventually break his train of thought with an awkward shuffle of his boot on the ground before he'd clear his throat to speak.

" ...Maybe we don't 'understand' because we were never intended to know in the first place. The Order of the skies has its own rules and regulations with a hierarchy that doesn't necessarily involve every Astral born under it. Those left out of the loop, like us, have been so because of a specific reason -- but you know that already. "

It definitely wasn't Phainon's place to go lecturing someone like Ria over how the cosmos and it's order worked -- no matter how much their fickle judgement and ballooned sense of aristocracy seemed to enrage the Deliverer.

" My theory has always been- " he'd continue. " That our 'role' among the cosmos as a harbinger of Ruin and the new world's Deliverer, is that our duties are so precarious to the other Astrals, that even the heavens have put up safeguards against us. We're held at a distance from everyone else -- like the unwanted orphans that still hold a degree of power to the grown ups. We're 'kept' because of our usefulness to the grand scheme- "

" That is...we're only called on whenever the rule setters need their mistakes undone. And they never wanted us approaching the surface before because... "

" They were afraid we'd get attached. That our experiences on terra firma would warp our train of thought past something they'd be able to control and that the cycle of Destruction would be turned at their throats instead of the world's as soon as we could organize the means. "

That's what Phainon had always believed -- and that was what kept his rage at the skies quietly smoldering under his personality of duty and justice, too. There would be a day the cosmos would slip and Phainon would strike back for all the pain, suffering, and trauma he and his loved ones had been put through. But, until then-

" It truly is a messed up ordeal. "

[ruinbeholder]

The faint half-laugh that left her lips said his assumptions had been right: She knew her thinking was one of the slipperiest of slopes, just like she knew that she was, ultimately, replacable by those she had once called their home. The only reason she still existed was the relationship she held with the man before her; they knew they could use her. As a Ruinbringer, she was replacable. There were several others who could do her job, several others who did do her job and had worked with her.

But it was Ria alone who could serve a a leash. Of all the Ruinbringers, she had been the one he'd chosen to stand closest to him, even before their relationship had formed as it now stood. She'd specifically been one the one he called on most and the one he worked best with among those born from Destruction and Ruin, and while the Skies didn't need her to wipe the world's surface clean of life when the time came, they did need her to keep him in line. He couldn't rebel so long as they held her physical form deep within the Celestial Sky, least of all encased in crystal designed to slowly drain her of her life - A fate that had been stalled only because of him and Mydei.

They didn't need her to do her job, but if she were to die, or even just vanish... She'd seen her husband's fury before. She could still remember the rage that had burned in him, both during Halcyon's end, and during...

In the end, it was the mention of his and Mydei's most recent cycles that made her breath catch in her throat, grip tightening on her skirt. A glance up to find his head tilted and confused expression did however, help to ease some of the aches; was he aware just how much like an oversized, fluffy puppy he resembled? Or how the thought of such quirked her lips into a soft, gentle smile despite the pain and concerns storming within her?

Slowly, her lips parted again, this time to let out a soft sigh first and foremost despite the sight of him and his concern keeping her small smile all but glowing. "It's not felt right since we settled here. It's as if it's teetering on the edge, though I'm not sure I could tell you what's over that edge, either. Some days it's as if it's about to consume me, yet others still it feels as if it's on the brink of fading. From what I can tell, the crystal hasn't eaten through that much of our shared power, but..."

Ria pull in a deep, careful breath, briefy turning her focus inward, towards the soul they shared, and the constant pull attached to it. Her crystalline prison had been designed to ever so slowly drain her power and erode the delicate balance within; it wanted to drian her dry, and if it couldn't get there on its own, then Ruin would. A power that wanted nothing less than to consume everything it could as well as what she'd been 'born' from, it would take the chance to utterly destroy her if she didn't keep it in check, and without her power to actually keep that balance...

She'd been lucky. Both Mydei and Phainon had willingly placed themselves in their own cycles, starting over again whenever that delicate balance tipped in a bad direction. When Ruin gnawed on the soul the three shared, one or both of them would start a new cycle to restore and refresh their control on it, pushing it back where it belonged. If not for them and their willingness to share their power between them as well, she was sure the pull of the crystal would've killed her several millions of years ago, the glow in her chest almost pulsing ever so briefly under both the thought and her satisfaction their soul still remained stable in that moment.

"I'm not sure either," she'd continue after a few moments, drawing herself back out of her internal checks. "But I can tell you it doesn't feel right, and hasn't since I drew you and Mydei back from... There. Do you... Suppose it was something to do with taking hold of it again? I've not had to for so long... Or something done to me because of the Scepter...?"

She refused to name it. That place... The wounds were still fresh, and would continue to be for quite some time, her own head tilting in mimiced confusion. "If the later... Do you feel all right? It's been a while, yes, but that was too long of an experience - yet if you feel fine, perhaps we can rule it out. Admittedly, a part of me hopes it's that and not simply because I pushed myself to draw you back out... If it is the later, they'll know. We've gone this long hiding how much power we have to keep me alive, if they discover I'm able to use Ruin like I was before..."

Less of a slippery slope, and more concern - The skies discovering their ruse was a danger to all three of them and then some, yet another concern added to the pile. "I can't tell, Khas, and that concerns me. I don't know how long I can hold onto it, if the balance right now is enough, what it wants or if losing control would be good or bad... But I know I need to keep that control. You and Mydei can't keep it in check alone, after all."

Was it a bad time for a subtle tease?

[dawnbeholder]

" Me? " He'd answer with a small, subtle shake of his head as if the motion alone could dispel any of Ria's worries. " I feel fine, Ria. I know things got a little dicey before, but I think I'm on an okay path for now. In fact, Mydei probably feels even better than me, too, considering we can hardly keep him in one place lately without him wanting to jump up and explore the city. "

Which was where the aforementioned other was now, in fact! Phainon had listened to Mydei exclaim he was going out to survey what he could of the surrounding city and he'd be back whenever he'd finally gotten bored -- which wasn't unusual. Keeping Mydei bound to one place wasn't practical in the slightest, so with a wave and a reminder to 'watch his back', Phainon had sent their fiery prince on his way!

And that'd made way for the conversation he'd found himself stuck in now: a talk between other-worlders based on their knowledge and dealings of the skies above. The topics were usually pretty difficult for the two of them to talk about around anyone else, save Mydei and his limited knowledge of their positions, but-

Still, Phainon couldn't help but laugh at Ria's subtle hint of a tease either!

" But you say that like it isn't in our duty to try either! Him and I might not be able to curb everything that is your 'Power of Ruin', but we both wouldn't have agreed to put ourselves in the places we have if we wouldn't have been ready for that fight. To us, defending your heart and health isn't even a question! No matter what physical shape we're in- "

" Which is also why we're both so concerned about you, too, Ria. You might be able to handle yourself in this world perfectly fine for now, but if there's a problem- " Phainon would steady his gaze right on Ria's own. " And there is a problem here if you're mentioning something like this already. Then you know both him and I wouldn't even question our place in helping you hang onto your control. "

" In fact! We might even be willing to go fight a fellow Astral or two if we figure out who the interference is coming from, too! I feel like the Sun and Moon are due for a good smack eventually, don't you think? "

His glance at her would say that last comment from him was all in jest. Phainon -- Khaslana -- was in no position to be fighting anyone from the skies right now considering what he'd just been rescued from and how much of his own power he'd still yet to recover. But it was the fierce thought from a guardian that counted!

[lowaharts]

bearer

[ruinbeholder]

"Dawnbringer you may be, but it was I who put many of them on you."

He was right on most of what he'd said. The skies had a leash on him they could tug whenever they wanted, and they'd even weaponized her physical form to ensure every pull would lead to exactly what they wanted out of him. Their family, herself, Mydei, the world at large... They'd stop at nothing to keep full control over the man before her, an the thought of it turned her stomach.

How funny, though... Once upon a time, she would've been the first to remind they had a duty. He, the Dawnbringer, and she, one of the small handfull of Ruinbringers... It was on them to prepare the world and ultimately reset it when the time came, a job that only they could tend to. Avoiding their work was out of the question, and his mention of fighting back against the skies - their home - would have gotten him severely reprimanded at minimum.

But now? Now she couldn't help but to agree. The skies she had once been so loyal to... Perhaps that was why they didn't want them looking towards the surface, Ria wondered? Astrals needed permission to leave the skies, and everything went through the moon, ensuring there was but one way in or out unless they'd been tasked with a job. Gaining permission wasn't an easy task, either, and unless they had that? They'd been heavily discouraged from even so much as glancing towards the surface unless the planet had been crying for aid, even to the point she could remember others being punished for doing so, albeit never harshly.

If they'd had more freedom, more chances to be on the surface, or to watch and listen to those living on it... How many others would side with them? How many would realize the control the skies had over them, and how they did everything they could to hide that control...? It'd taken meeting Mydei for her to begin bucking it herself; how many more... Might if they could just...

Her shoulders sagged with the thought, especially as wondering opened the gates to another flood of memories rushing in with it. Although he'd been right in what he'd said, he'd forgotten one, major part of it all: "Had I not run away to stay with Mydei, you never would've been involved in this mess."

Sure, he'd still be leashed by the skies! There was no escaping that, no matter what fate had handed them! But there was also no denying her choices had added to the chains weighing him down, Ria's fingers curling into the fabric of her skirt. She'd chosen to entertain her interest in Mydei. She'd chosen to return, time and time again, to see him. She'd chosen to break some of their highest laws and prevent Mydei's death, linking him to her for the rest of their lives as a result. She'd chosen to stay on the surface.

He'd been doing his job when he'd come to find her, and she'd convinced him to stay as well, even if it had been for just a short while. He'd been swayed and convinced by a smile and a kiss, and had she not chosen to stay with Mydei and convince Khaslana to join them... "You can't deny I had a hand in the chains placed on you - Or that I and Mydei are often used to force you into whatever they want from you. I know they'd still use me against you even had we not stayed surface-side, but..."

Ria hesitated. Why was it talking about things like this always went so much smoother in her head...?

"Do you think we have a chance of winning that fight? They'd not even let us look away from the skies, Khas. They forced you to destroy Halcyon. We could've found another way, could've saved it..." Another pause, this time with a soft sigh. "It's been difficult to deal with the memories recently. My control over Ruin is struggling - I'm not sure if it's their doing, or something else."

[dawnbeholder]

" You know that's a slippery slope though- "

Her thought process, he'd meant -- though he'd assumed she hadn't needed him to specifically say that much. Getting caught up on the technicalities and situations of the past was usually a tricky downward spiral to break though. Phainon knew from experience because he'd been there plenty of times before; of getting so caught up on the 'what ifs' and the 'if I would've done betters' that he'd worked himself right into an anxious, desperate, almost panicked mood.

And even though Mydei was out of the house and this conversation was theirs alone to share -- Ria didn't need to work herself right into a breakdown. That's why Phainon would meet her questions with a sturdy expression of his own as his arms calmly crossed over his chest.

" But you're right. I can't deny that what you've done has put more pressure on me from them. I fill a pretty unique position as far as they're concerned while your rank is divided up among a handful of others. Even if something were to happen to you, the Skies don't need you specifically to set the world on its path through Destruction. My duty, however- "

Phainon would intentionally cut himself off there as he quietly tilted his head to one side with a small, subdued hum that rattled through his chest more like a sigh would. Ria didn't need him to state their 'jobs' as Astrals directly. If anything, she probably knew her position with him and to their duty better than he ever would -- especially since Phainon was often only working with the Ruinbringers and only assumed his rank of 'Deliverer of the New Dawn' when a world was at the cusp of destruction.

But that still didn't stop the High Skies from yanking his metaphorical chain when they could -- which seemed to be more frequent lately so Phainon wouldn't forget from whose realm he belonged.

" What's your control over your powers feel like right now though? " Phainon would lightly change the subject back to Ria's physical state. " Is it just weak? Or does it feel shaky somehow? Like there's interreference somewhere? There shouldn't be any of that since this world doesn't feel like it's heading toward an end cycle just yet and Mydei and I went through a cycle of our own not too long ago to stabilize everything. "

Phainon would pause at that, slowly lifting up one of his hands to place gently against his chin in thought while letting his head idly tilt the other way -- looking nothing short of a stumped puppy trying to solve a tough puzzle.

" I can't think of a single reason off the top of my head why anyone would want to be messing with your powers of Ruin. "

[ruinbeholder]

"No. Nobody's bothered me."

Her reply was quick - Probably too quick, to be honest, but that was something she'd not wanted to let linger. Phainon was nothing if not protective, especially now, and Ria didn't want to concern him more than she likely already had. Not after...

Her fingers stilled against her skin, the memories rushing through her mind for the umpteenth time that day alone. Memories of that place, of the kies, Halcyon, the worlds that came before... It'd been hard to keep them locked away since they'd settled down in Bunkyo, and with her control teetering on the edge like it had been, she'd not had much luck forcing them back under the mental rock they'd been kept under for the last several millions of years. Memories that picked an poked and dug in their claws, relentlessly reminding her of the countless aches and pains, the destruction and the nightmares...

"I see," she'd sigh out after a moment, letting her hand drop to her lap. She'd not lie, the fact they'd left him alone for the time being was comforting, and the mention of the other Astrals they did still have interactions with bringing them 'misgivings' had quirked her lips into a faint but fleeting smile that had faded just as quickly as it'd formed. There was peace, even if they all knew it'd be temporary like always, so why... Couldn't she get her own aches under control...?

With a shake of her own head, Ria focused her gaze on her husband's middle. Perhaps it'd be easier to find the words and explain if she didn't watch those beautiful blue eyes of his, remember the bright, sunny skies he'd brought to the world time and time again...? "Since we've settled here, I've not been able to stop thinking of... Everything. The destruction, the pain, the death.... I'm not sure how much of it has to do with Ruin and my need to regain control of it once more, but I can't stop thinking of it, Khaslana. The chains the skies keep on you, what we've put Mydei through... Did they have a part in that world, too? I can't keep myself from wondering that."

They could've, and nobody would have been any the wiser. The Celestial Skies were known for being stealthy in their actions, slipping in through cracks and working without ever being noticed; could they have played a part in what they'd been through even in Amphoreus? None of their connections had ever made even a slight comment on the matter and Ria wasn't about to demand answers of them, but...

"I'm sorry."

It'd been a moment before those two words had escaped her lips in a breathy almost-whisper, nearly lost to the comforting and soft sounds of their home. The ticking of clocks, the breeze coming in through the windows, distant creaks... Comforting ound that truthfully did little right then to calm the storm brewing within her. "I'm sorry, Khaslana... You've deserved better than the chains you've been put under because of me. I'm sorry... For what Ruin's brought you, as well. No matter how much I love you, those chains..."

[dawnbeholder]

" 'Sorry'? " He knew her apology wasn't funny, but Phainon's tone would still have a hint of amusement to it. " Ria, are you actually apologizing to me right now for something I know you had absolutely no control over? Because you know I don't blame you for anything like that. Nothing you couldn't have helped and nothing that they do either. "

It was weird their conversation had so suddenly come down to this though. Phainon had long since come to realize that the skies were their own entity and often acted as such -- a force that enacted their own laws, saw their own whims played out, and toyed with the stars like everything under their grasp were nothing more than pieces to be moved around a board. They thought their law was absolute, the final say-so among the cosmos, and 'fate' was what they called it-

And no matter how much Phainon had fought and scratched and bite at the hold they had on him, one way or another, they always got what they wanted out of him. In a way, it'd almost felt like an endless cycle in itself. The High Skies never came to demand anything of him until they needed him, then they'd incite his rage until he didn't have a choice.

But those were far from chains Ria had put on him!

" Ria, most of 'those chains' are something that's been there long before you and I ever met. I'm their 'prized Dawnbringer', remember? They've always had those safeguards in place against me, so it seems a little odd for you to be apologizing for them. If anything, the only thing you did 'wrong' in their eyes, was give me more of a reason to fight against them- "

" Even if that fight seems a little daunting sometimes because of how overwhelming it all seems, I'll still be the first to say I appreciate you for that. "

[ruinbeholder]

Everything is, she tried to say, though the words stuck in her throat whether she'd wanted them to or not. Truthfully, could she say as much, really? Just looking at him, so relaxed as he was, knowing Mydei had gone out for a few hours but was otherwise just as safe as he... Absolutely nothing could be wrong as long as she had them, and her tired heart agreed.

But all the same, just having them there with her didn't negate the deep aches, and with Phainon's questioning she'd step away from the doorway to make her way across the room towards him. Everything would be fine as long as they had one another; That had been the promise they'd made, and the promise she continued to repeat to herself to that very day, as if it were some kind of spell that could protect them. They would be fine together... So why did her heart ache like it's been torn apart? Why did her soul continue to burn under the weight of the power that had given her life? Why did her glow, settled in her chest even then, feel like a weight she could barely breathe under...?

Slowly, Ria settled into a chair across from him. pulling up her feet to tuck in to the ide under one thigh in her seat's oversized, plushy comfort. They would be fine as long as they had one another, yes, but that didn't make starting the conversation any easier, she was finding, letting her gaze drop from his face to the sun parking on his neck and shoulder. Did... His glow ache like hers, she wondered...?

"Thoughts of the skies," she'd start with, the Astral's voice soft and gentle, though not at all hiding the exhaustion she felt in regards to the topic. Even the aches seemed to pulse with the mention; was it as bad for him? Or had he learned how to handle it, somehow? "There's been a lot learned in the last few worlds... It's started to set in now that wehave a chance to rest, and I'm not sure..."

I'm not sure how to handle it, yet. One would think the power of Ruin would have everything in order and under control - And had someone voiced as much right then, Ria would've laughed. Her control had been teetering on the edge since their last 'adventure', and while she'd slowly managed to pull things back with Phainon and Mydei's help, the aftereffects still weighed even more heavily, a slow hand raising to rub ever so lightly at her glow. If anyone would understand, it would be him, but...

"Have you thought of it any? Since..." Amphoreus. She dared not speak that place's name, not now. Not yet. "Have they... Reached out to you yet? I know they keep tabs on what you do..."

All because they have me.

"...Tell me they've left you alone since this world's creation."

[dawnbeholder]

Oh. So this was a conversation about that.

He hadn't meant for a small sigh to slip out at the realization, but...suddenly, Phainon could seriously relate to why Ria had seemed so sullen and distracted when she'd called for his attention. Never mind the reason why she'd called for him as 'Khaslana' instead of the typical moniker he usually went by now.

Her attitude made more sense, though that didn't exactly explain why the topic about the skies had suddenly raised it's annoying, irritating head again. Times were so calm and peaceful as of lately, Phainon had almost forgotten all about those who governed the rules above -- but even with the fresh thoughts, Phainon would still shake his head in a silent 'no'.

" I haven't heard hide nor hair out of them in awhile, actually. Not out of them or out of any of our other Astral friends that like to make surprise appearances just to cause us misgivings. "

" I just figured this cycle's been peaceful enough, it hasn't given them a reason to start yanking at my strings again like they usually do or I probably would've heard something by now. But- "

He'd pause, almost giving Ria a once over glance as if he could decipher her problems for himself just from studying her -- but he couldn't. She wasn't injured, so nothing could've gotten to her physical form here or the one trapped above. Phainon quickly reasoned that he probably would've heard something if Ria would've met up with anyone unpleasant, too. But just to be sure-

" Ria, no one's been bothering you lately, have they? I know you probably would've said something to either Mydei or I by now, but this is all so sudden. You are okay, aren't you? "

[ruinbeholder]

@dawnbeholder

The sigh that left Ria's lips was... Conflicted. It'd been a long time since she'd been lost in throughts of- ...No, could she even call it home, now? After everything she knew now, what had happened and what continued to happen - Could she call a place with so much darkness behind it home, anymore?

Perhaps it was that thought that sent Ria wandering through the house, seeking out the only person who could calm her thoughts. As much as she loved both her husbands and trusted them with every fiber of her entire being, it was solely Phainon who would be able to understand the things racing through her mind, the sight of his snowy-colored hair and sweet smile almost immediately putting her racing heartbeat - how had she managed to ignore that until right then? - to a slower, more normal pace. There was always something about just seeing the two she'd married so long ago, being able to visually confirm they were there, safe, and happy, that seemed to calm her every time...

"Khaslana?"

Phainon. She'd meant to call for Phainon, but it seemed ike her weary heart had other ideas. Or perhaps it was because in the memories she'd been lost in in their quiet home, he'd been called almost exclusively by his true name...? She'd not dwell on it right then, waiting by the doorway for his acknowledgement. "Do you... Have a few moments, my Dawn? It can wait if you're busy."

[dawnbeholder]

" ...hm? "

The name would get Phainon's attention, but not without a curious, almost concerned tilt to his head in her direction. Though she were one of the few that knew him by that name, Ria very rarely used it unless she'd meant to address him in a much more...formal matter. That usually only happened when there were issues or problems of a higher scale that they needed to attend to, but since times had been rather peaceful as of late-

" I'm not busy right now, no, so I don't mind talking. But... " His slight head tilt faded into a small shake of his head, but...still. Something about Ria's approach felt off, so much so, that Phainon couldn't help but be a little worried about the timing -- enough that he couldn't keep from asking.

" Is something the matter? You seem a little distracted, Ria. "

[sexanax]

nothing is more heartbreaking than when you try your hardest and it still isnt enough

[leisomnium]

khaos 🌗

[moonpiehelps]

you can’t protect everyone.

                                                 I have to Try.