Project better future: 2020 Edition
Day 1
Long story short, 2020′s been thoroughly kicking my ass.
Depression & Anxiety on main? CHECK
Broke AF? CHECK
2 weeks til deadlines? CHECK
Graduation hanging in the balance of work being submitted or not? CHECK
No income? CHECK
Forced in to living at the family house again, because you can’t afford to live alone anymore, due to a global pandemic? CHECK
Sooo.... yeah, i’ve pretty much fallen off the wagon this year, I used to work so much harder, and be so much more motivated to make my future better for myself, but this year, it’s just fallen apart, and i’ve really just let it happen, and to be completely honest, i’ve had enough of myself beign like this.
This blog, and writing out my plans, and feelings isn’t somethign i had ever intended to stop doing, it just kinda happened on it’s own, but it did always help me a lot, and so i’m back again, and im ready ot get working, and moving and trying again to make myself a better future.
Current situation:
I’m in my final year at university, in my final 9 days, I have to write a whoel dissertation, and then make a presentation for it, which i’ll need to film myself presenting as well, I also have 2 pieces of make-up work because i failed some things earlier in the year, and just yeah, it is all due on the 14th.
I’ve been procrastinating it all like a mad, because school stuff makes my anxiety flare real bad, but I truly cannot afford to do this anymore.
If i don’t get these pieces of work in, I will fail my whole degree, I have have have to get them in, even if it’s low quality work and I only get D’s, those D’s would literally be enough to get me a degree.
D’s will literally get me a degree right now.
My rough plan at present is to just get as much of my introduction section written tonight as I can, and email it to my advisors at the university for feedback, and whilst I wait for them to get back to me, I will begin trying to do the data section of the dissertation the day after, and then send that on to them as well, in hopes they get some feedback to me fast enough that I can make use of it.
I will then Look at the make-up work, and do what I can of that over the weekend.
The only way here that I can succeed, is is i actually do a good chunk every day, there’s no excuses, i need to do some every day if i’m going to have D worthy work in by 5pm on the 14th of August.
If I can get the work in, and I did enough to get D’s, i’ll be able to graduate.
But what about getting work, or life after the 14th?
2020 being what it is, there’s next to no jobs available, especially within the field of marine vertebrate zoology, which is what my degree is on, I did one day (whilst procrastinating) begin thinking about how to earn money, or begin working, and my options are pretty limited, especially by the fact that I haven’t already finished my degree, i was supposed to be done in may, but I got extensions because of how sick I was (not corona, just depression/anxiety).
And so the solutions I came to were that, even if i did pass my degree somehow, that I need extra training to show in place of experience, and so I began looking in to the things I could get extra training in affordably, at home, online, where it’s safe, and that would also lead to a well paying job. One of the biggest contenders was Statistics and data analysis, I have experience with these things thanks to my degree,a nd they are highly sought after still eve with the pandemic, also they pay reallyyyyyy well, £21-22k GBP at entry level.
It was during that time that I realised how much i’ve come to just hate academia, and scholarly things, and that it is because university has absolutely destroyed every last bit of happiness I had about sciences in the last year, and that I need some time away from it all.but also something that would perhaps be a little more in my own control, as the statistics stuff would still be highly dependant on me actually getting hired, even after getting additional training, and then I somehow found me way to TEFL (Teaching English as a foreign language)
I spent like 3 days going really far down an internet rabbit hole, learning everything I could about TEFL courses, what it’s like to actually work teaching English as a foreign language, finding out what opportunities exist out there, teachign in a classroom environment, teachign abroad, in a business, teachign online, and which TEFL courses would actually have come form reputable sources, and would be fully accredited, and was lucky enough that the course I wanted to take was on sale 60% off, and yes, it was a fully UK gov accredited lvl3 course, it’s regulated by Ofqual.
So I paid for the course, started it, and finished the first module within the week I had begun it (I was procrastinating my uni stuff, big surprise).
So following the 14th of August 220, when my university work is all done, submitted in whatever state it is yeeted into turn it in, in, what im planning on doing next is a day or 2 of rest, and then I’ll be pushing to finish the tefl course ASAP, so that I can get myself registered with online teaching companies asap, and hopefully begin earning some money, because I am so far into the overdraft of my bank account it’s not even funny, and I can survive maybe til the end of September at best if i’m exceptionally frugal.
Chances are that over the next year I will probably take the training for statistics and data analysis as well, but i do need time away from sciences, and i need some time to just be a bit more free, be able to travel if i want to travel, save some money up finally, and stop living the life of a broke ass student, and be able to take work with me where ever I am, i guess i just want to live a slightly more stable life, where i’m able to do the things I actually want to do.
I’m not sure when i’ll next post, but I think it’ll be tomorrow, saying where im up to with my dissertation work, we’ll see.
Congratulations if you read all that.
