Maybe Dawsey’s complete cluelessness in regards to his sexuality was actually his brain’s way of forcing his body into self-preservation mode. Because he wasn’t sure he’d still be alive today if this is what he’d had to contend with for years upon years of not holding himself back. He didn’t think it was normal for his heart to be beating this fast. Any minute now, he’d be passed out on Sidney’s floor, surely. Maybe he’d even die.
As soon as Sidney’s hand was removed from between his legs, he wanted to throw a tantrum. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this downright petulant. Even Evie had already outgrown some level of childhood immaturity, but Dawsey was giving her younger, spoiled self a run for her money. His legs thrashed a little as he plastered both hands to his face, groaning into them.
“Sidney,” he pleaded, knowing that when he eventually looked up, his friend would be grinning at him with that smug, absurdly handsome smile.
He opened and closed his mouth, entertaining the notion that he wasn’t entirely above begging. The promise of I’ll be good sat on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t think he was brave enough to say something so bold.
Not that there was anything subtle about everything else he was doing right now.
He craned his neck, desperate for the parting kiss Sidney gave him, mouth open and willing. His eyes widened the minute his friend spat into his mouth, practically rolling back into his head. He’d done it twice that night with Lauren and then every night since in Dawsey’s late night fantasies. Swallowing greedily, a moan met the other man’s saliva halfway up his throat and he tipped his head back against the arm of the couch, temporarily sated.
“Guess it’s talking we’re going for,” he mumbled unhappily when Sidney crawled off him. He knew it was a conversation that they needed to have, he just wished there was a way he was able to tell Sidney everything he needed to say with a tongue in his mouth and a hand down his pants.
Dawsey sat up, pushing his hair back from his forehead, only to freeze like his whole body had taken a screenshot. He watched as Sidney casually stuck his hand down the front of his jeans, gripping himself. He could almost picture his friend’s long, tan fingers wrapped around his length, although you’d never think it was having any effect on the other man, what with how calmly Sidney was talking.
“I…” Dawsey began. He blinked, mouth flooding with saliva as he stared at Sidney, at where his hand disappeared into his trousers.
“I came here to see you,” he breathed, eyes still tracking the movement of the other man’s hand.
Suddenly, like a man who’d never considered the concept of dignity in his life, Dawsey slid off the sofa and landed on his knees with a thud. Breathing shallow, he shuffled forward until his hands were on Sidney’s thighs.
“I wanted to talk to you. I missed you and I needed to make sure you still… that we were still…” A ragged breath shuddered out of him as he leaned forward. With a soft whimper, he pressed his face into the front of Sidney’s jeans, right at his crotch. “Wanted to make sure you still thought about me while you were fucking all those other guys.”
Grip tightening on the other man’s legs, Dawsey mouthed wetly at the bulge in front of him, soft moans spilling out of him.
This was a good compromise on the talking.
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