DAYANA

DAYANA CARDOSO MARADONA ~ 25 ~ INTERIOR DESIGNER ~ HETEROSEXUAL ~ VICES: PARTYING AND MONEY

[dayanamaradona]

tomeggsandgreene‌:

Tommy wasn’t usually a big fan of bowling. He always felt like his fingers were too long for the holes and got a little claustrophobic for the way he’d have to grip the ball. Often times he’d opt out of playing all together. He could enjoy spending time with the boys, throwing back a few beers and watching them get stupid competitive over one of the dumbest activities they could have picked to play. This was once again the case as he sat back in his chair, watching one of his band mates approach the lane when all of a sudden a bowling ball came screaming in his direction. He wasn’t entirely sure whether to duck out of the way or try and protect himself and instead of making a decision opted to not do either and let the ball hit him directly in the stomach. “Shit!” He called out as the ache immediately set it. “I’m pretty sure the pins are in the opposite direction there!” 

“I’m sorry! Oh god...oh my god....I’m....so....oh fuck!” Dayana had told her friends bowling was a bad idea for her. Oh lighten up, they’d said. What was the worst that could happen, they’d insisted. They’d even put up the gutter guards for her. Expectation had been that all the potentials would happen moving forward. No one had counted on the backward swing for momentum leading to the bowling ball launching out of her grasp. Her face was beet red with embarrassment. “Are you okay....are you....do you need some ice? Fuck, I’m so sorry, I told them not to let me do this.”

[dayanamaradona]

alison-haynes‌:

Ali had found a comfortable spot in the park under a shaded tree to crack open a book, but her joy had been short lived by a phone call from her management team. She’d been enjoying her first few weeks in Dayton, no one had really recognized her and if they had, they didn’t mention it. Not that she didn’t love her career, or love her fans, sometimes she just needed a break. Which was why this phone call had annoyed her beyond belief. She was being hounded by her team on when there would be new material, when she’d be getting back to work, and of course that sparked an argument coming from her side. “Can’t you guys just give me a couple months?!” She asked, rather loudly into the phone, “You’ll know when I’m ready to get back to work.” She muttered, hanging the phone up and throwing it down into the grass. It was then when she realized someone was standing above her, giving her a look. “I’m sorry.” She said to them, getting up, wiping grass off her pants. “Did i interrupt your park day?” She assumed herself getting loud on the phone had upset the other person.

She was soaking up sun, a picnic for one on a checker patterned sheet, music in her ears, smile on her face. Today was a good day, one of those days where you woke up and felt happiness before anything had even really happened. Dayana liked to take advantage of those kinds of moods. The sound of stressed out tones didn’t ruin her good mood, but it did cause her eyes to open, head turning in the direction of the blonde. And she looked so familiar...that voice seemed so familiar...OH. Oh that’s because that voice was currently singing through her airpods.  Dayana meanders over just as the phone call explosively ends. She doesn’t wanna be a bother, really she doesn’t. “No you didn’t interrupt,” she answered with a shake of her head. “But that seemed like a shitty phone call and I realized I packed enough picnic snakes for a party of five. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to join me? There’s cookies and a fruit and cheese tray, and wine.”

[dayanamaradona]

dixievega‌:

     “y’know, i have tried everythin’ in the book ‘nd i can’t seem to stop it.” the brunette was referring to the killer hangover she was currently experiencing. she had only woken up an hour ago before rushing over to the local coffee shop for her daily caramel macchiato. though, the line was tremendous this morning and she desperately needed to distract herself from it. so, she decided to spark up a conversation with the person standing behind her awhile ago from when they first arrived. “whaddya usually do to get ridda them?”

Dayana winced with sympathy. She didn’t get hangovers often but when she did they tended to knock her off her ass for a full day. “When I was younger I didn’t get them at all. And now when I do it feels like there’s nothing I can do to get rid of them. My only options are to lesson the chances they happen to begin with, or cut the time they last in half. Water while you’re drinking is a bigger help than you could ever know. A lot of the bleh of a hangover is being dehydrated.” She gestures to the coffee options on the signs. “Regular no frills coffee and an aspirin. Lots of water. Some gatorade or something with electrolytes. Some people swear by a greasy meal but I’ve found I do better when I nibble and snack lightly.”

[dayanamaradona]

alfiefreakingwilliams‌:

Alfie immediately shook his head at his friends, heart aching in response to how miserable she seemed right now. Hell, she was practically breaking down, and he felt like maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. This was her life after all, and she was dealing with enough as it is. Daya didn’t need Alfie trying to convince her to derail anything. He just nodded when she compared her relationship to riding a bike, though he wasn’t sure if that was exactly applicable in this situation. Polygamy wasn’t something to keep trying, and trying again if it wasn’t something that worked for you. It was a belief system that you had tp have a strong footing with, or the fall would be twice as hard. All he could really do though when she continued, was give his friend a sympathetic expression, and suck in a deep breath prior to responding. “That’s a lot of what ifs.” He admitted, unsure if she’d care much for that answer or not. “It’s your life, I won’t tell you how to live it, nor will I judge you, but. Please promise you’ll take care of yourself. That’s all I ask. Okay?”

Dayana wasn’t afraid of honesty, even when it hurt. Alfie’s words snuggled heavy and weighted against her chest. They were not unfamiliar thoughts to her. “I know...I...I don’t feel like I’m being a pushover or not taking care of myself. I’m taking a risk, but all relationships are risks.” She doesn’t know why she wants his approval so badly. Perhaps it’s just feeling like you aren’t a page all by yourself gives you more confidence in your decisions. “I...I was very firm with him, I made sure he knew I don’t know if I can be okay with this.  But he wants to try, and I...I want to let him. I want to see if I can be happy with the pieces of him I get, and if I’m not I...I will be very verbal about that and I’ll end it.”  She shook off the feeling dizzying uncertainty, and tried to give her friend a smile. “You’re turn. Please tell me your love life is less complicated than mine.”

[dayanamaradona]

Trial and Error || Dayana and Calum

[dayanamaradona]

dayanamaradona‌:

calgoodie‌:

His eyes searched her face. Unsure at what point he became capable of being this person. Someone who asked for something like this. If it’d always been there, or if by some miracle he actually managed to find the two people in this world he could feel this strongly for. Callie was once in a lifetime. Someone who came into his life and fit him so perfectly there were times he missed that they weren’t the same person. Dayana was… she was an enigma. Someone he likely would have ended up with on a different timeline. In a different time, different place would have fallen in love with her in the same way he had Celeste but he’d have been better for her. Wanted more than anything to be better for her. Would have been able to be the loving doting boyfriend she deserved. The one he still wanted to be. This one just so happened to come with a little extra. 

“Two days I can promise you but I want to be capable of more than that Day. I really do. I want you to know that every day I’m thinking about you and two can be a minimum but I will do whatever is within my power to give you more while making this work.” He said just a little more confidently as a sad desperation dripped from his voice. He felt like his inside were on the verge of collapse. Like he was going to completely implode if he feel too much deeper into his feelings. “You’ve always been worth my time Dayana. Always.. You are so incredibly important to me.” He choked out as he felt his eyes starting to sting again. Keeping them open was hard. Keeping eye contact without bursting into tears. 

When she offered the opportunity to get out of there his stomach dropped. His brain processing it in a way that meant she would leave. Leave and god only knew when she’d be comfortable seeing him again. His face dropping until the word we registered in his brain. “You… want me to come with you?” He asked quietly as he turned his head and for the first time since he’d sat down, remembered that other people existed. Watched the crowd re-appear from the dark veil that had sheeted him and threatened to swallow him completely. Calum nodded his head slightly as he turned back to her, eyes meeting hers again as he licked his lips to try and help himself speak. He’d barely heard the bit about the swing but he’d have agreed to going anywhere with her. “I want to be with you too.. That um.. that sounds good.. Can we?” 

She knows he’s been trying to listen, but she wonders how much he’s actually been able to process. Because he’s still trying to explain, to defend, to apologize, to earn her forgiveness. They can’t hammer out all the kinks tonight though, she doesn’t expect him to make everything better all at once. These things take time, like all things that have to be learned. “Yes, I want you to come with me,” she answered with soft reassurance. “This is...it’s a trial period. We’re going to give this a try, you and me. See how it feels when you don’t have to juggle things in secret. And I promise to be honest with you, about how I’m feeling, how I’m adapting.” 

Day feels better, she always feels better when she knows what she wants to do, when she has some idea of what her gameplan is. She puts a twenty on the table and smiles at him. “Yes, yes we can. I think we both drove here so...I’ll meet you at my place?” Her hand is still on his, and she gives it a squeeze. She’s not quite ready to kiss his lips again, but he does get the press of her affection against his cheek when she rises from her chair and moves past him. “Goober will be excited to see you. He missed your visits.” As much as she doesn’t want to leave him yet it feels good to get in her car, take a breathe in the driver’s seat and take stock as her hands took the wheel. Yes...yes she felt okay. She felt sure that this was what she wanted. To try. To say that she took a chance on him.

The drive to her place is long and short at the same time. Goober excitedly barks behind the door while she waits for Calum to park beside her. Why does he always look so good when he’s coming up the steps? Sunlight slants against him just right, pools along his curls, in the hollow of his throat. “C’mere I wanna show you my new comfy spot,” she greets, taking his hand in hers and leading him along the wraparound porch to the backyard. The swing is nestled in the shade of a weeping willow, her favorite tree. There’s wind chimes hanging from the branches, a little stone pond with soothing water sounds. “I thought it could be a safe quiet space, when you needed white noise and fresh air and to just cuddle.”

[dayanamaradona]

alfiefreakingwilliams‌:

Alfie’s face was full of sympathy for his friend when she spoke about Calum’s connection with Callie in comparison to her own. Of course he was biased, he couldn’t help but only care about Daya’s feelings in this situation, but he wanted to make sure he didn’t overstep his bounds by expressing that in the wrong way. She was clearly hurting from this, and if it was something she truly wanted, she wouldn’t look so miserable. Alfie barely knew what to say at all actually, especially when she said that last bit, making his own break along with hers. “Daya…” He tilted his head, dark eyes scanning the other’s face like he was setting her up for bad news. “Yo look, I’m just a third part in the matter, and take what I say to heart, or don’t, but,” Alfie pressed his lips together, and sucked his teeth. “Listen, I know you love him, and I know what that feels like. It’s hard to let go of somethin’ that makes you feel so damn good when it’s not breaking you down. But, eventually there’s nothin’ left to break down, and you’re gonna fucking lose it.” He tried to advise her, still giving her a soft look though, because he of course was only saying any of this out of love. “You’re worth so much more than freakin’ second place, and that’s all I gotta say about that.” He held his hands up. “Someone else is missin’ out on spoiling you like you deserve, and you’re the one who’s missing out the most in all this.”

“You must think I’m so stupid,” she murmured with a low wail, head bowing into her hands. It seemed so simple, so obvious the way Alfie laid it out. Why would she settle for second place.  “I don’t...I don’t know how to say this ... you know how when you ride a bike you fall and scrape your knees and get bruises? Learning new things hurts sometimes, exploring hurts sometimes. The hurt isn’t always forever though.”  Day talks with her hands when she’s overwhelmed, gesturing plaintively like the right twitch of her hands might open her chest right up so he could just see what she’s feeling playing like a movie against her muscles.  “I love him. And there’s...there’s a chance that I won’t like the way this feels. Ever. In which case I’ll end it. But what if Alfie. What if there’s a chance that when he’s not trying to do all this in guilty secret, when we can communicate properly about how to make this work...that it could work? What if I could be happy with him? What if I throw it away and walk away from him and he could have been the best thing in my life? What if the scrapes and bruises right now could be worth the bike ride of loving him?”

[dayanamaradona]

Trial and Error || Dayana and Calum

[dayanamaradona]

calgoodie‌:

Calum was a disaster of a person. He’d always been and he knew that, but god was this one of those moments that he hated himself for it. That he couldn’t get himself together. That the panic was rising and he could feel the familiar cold of the darkness that consumed him and all she wanted from him were answers. Answers he should have been prepared for. Answers he knew from the very beginning he was going to have to explain and even now he was coming up empty. When she reached for his hands, the physical touch of her hands was the first time he felt capable of sucking in a breath since they’d sat down. Only for his own physical reaction to ruin that as he’d curled back in on himself. “Y-your not making this harder Dayana. I swear this isn’t your fault… I just… hate that what I’m doing is hurting you and it’s never something I meant to do and when I get in my head like this… I fuck up everything I say and I hate that I’m making you feel like this because you deserve to feel everything you need to feel about this..” He said all in the short breath he had left. Pushing out everything he felt he was capable of. 

She says that she cares about him too but he can’t shake the inevitable doubt he’s certain that she feels and he hates that. Hates that he’s put that into her after everything she’s already been through. Hates that she’s having to be the strong one because he’s not capable of pulling it together long enough to have a grown-up conversation. He had to take another pull from his water, as she continued. His heart still racing and the knot in the back of his throat continued to tangle as he gripped at the chair like it was about to bolt from the restaurant. The ringing in his ears was intensifying and he felt his eyes stinging in a way that he had to blink them away to keep from losing his shit completely. “I want you too Day.. I have always wanted you. That’s… I’ve never doubted that. There’s never a day that goes by that I don’t wish you were around or wonder what you’re doing and I know I said I’d be better and I know I’ve still been shitty but I want to be around you. I really do.” He said, trying to control the ache that was coursing through him. “I love you too. I swear to god I do.” He added quietly as he forced his eyes open, forcing himself to look at her once again. 

She tells him that she wants to try. He knows the risk. Knows there’s a risk realistically with any relationship, but god the idea of losing someone as important to him as she was. Losing anyone that important to him again. It came with a fear that made him sick to his stomach. One that had only once been mimicked by a very real fear that had come to fruition. What it would be like to know that Evie wasn’t coming back for him. What it would be like if Dayana decided to cut him off. The thought made him physically choke on the next words he tried to push past his lips. Words he’d barely been able to form. “You’re… it’s.. want this yes.” He said as he swallowed, very well aware that the sentence he’d formed hadn’t made sense. “Please.. I want to make this work with you Day.. Whatever that needs to look like… I will work.. do better..” He swore through a painfully soft tone as he forced himself once again to try and uncurl from the feeling of gravity trying to cave in on him. 

Everything sounds good, everything sounds right. But relationships are more than wants, they’re action. She can’t judge Calum for actions he hasn’t had a chance to give her yet, but she also can’t help wondering how they’re possibly going to have time to do this more. See each other. Connect. But he wants this, and she wants it, and if it burns up in a fire in the end wasn’t it better to at least try. That painful croak, that pleading earnestness, it does her in, it’s the last stake in the tent she’s pitching on this new hill. The them hill.

“Two days,” she whispers. “I need time with you at least two days a week. Doesn’t have to be all day, doesn’t have to be forever. A lunch date or a dinner date, a move or a tv show before you head home to bed. I need to know that I’m worth your time at least two days a week, that I’m necessary in your schedule.” She’s trying to make a machine out of her heart, soak up all the frantic emotions and chop them into fine pieces, mold them into the shape of reachable goals and needs that can be expressed. “I...does that...sound fair?” He’s trying, she can feel how much he’s trying, the cracks and fissures rising under his skin from the force of his efforts. And everything in her wants to meet him halfway, wants this to be okay, because god she loves him.

“Do you want to get out of here?” she whispered. Their orders hadn’t arrived and suddenly she wasn’t hungry anymore and she wanted privacy. She wanted quiet windchimes and the sound of him breathing, and to hold him for the rest of the day if he’d let her. “We can go back to my place. It’s lovely outside...I got this new swinging porch chair...we can curl up on it, take a catnap. I just...I just want to be with you today.”

[dayanamaradona]

alfiefreakingwilliams‌:

“There are always in game rewards, Dayana. Always.” Alfie assured the girl as if it was something understood already. The video game slipped far from his mind though when Dayana then went into the beginning of the gossip he’d asked for, making Alfie scoot impossibly closer to the table in his chair until he was practically laying across his half of it. He wasn’t one to over do it with spilling of the tea, but Day looked like she really needed to get something off her chest, and Alfie was here to be that listening ear. His eyes grew wide when she mentioned Calum, and the fact that he had another girlfriend that he wanted to date along side her. Honestly? Before moving here, Alfie had never in his life seen, or even given a thought towards open dating. Sure, he’d seen sister wives, that shit was addictive, but it’s not like that was what this was. He didn’t know Calum all that well, but he knew of him, and he knew his friend. This clearly didn’t seem like something she wanted, so how could he tell her anything less than that? “I can tell you’re not thrilled about it.” He observed outloud, reaching now to swirl his straw around in his drink. “Is there really much to figure out?”

The answer should have been no. Nothing to figure out, game over, no more lives. She was afraid that her response might make Alfie look at her differently. “I think...it’s not even that I’m not thrilled with the dating itself. But the...the other girl he’s with their like...their soulmates on another level, they’re addicted to each other. It’s not like...like we’re going to share evenly. She gets the main meal and I get the scraps of him. At least that’s how I’m scared it’s going to work.” Day looks down at her lap, making a sound of frustration and pinching the bridge of her nose. “I just...but what if...what if all my fears are wrong. What if there’s a way it could work, and I could be with him and be happy. Cause god Alfie I love him. And if I love him shouldn’t I at least give it a try, instead of throwing it out the second the format of the relationship doesn’t go the way I expected?” 

[dayanamaradona]

stellaforbes‌:

“okay that’s such a relief to hear from someone else, because i totally believe them. i haven’t gone as far as fact checking them online, which i probably should’ve, but they’re just such cute and cool little facts that even if they weren’t entirely true, i didn’t wanna ruin it for myself, y’know? i’d rather go around thinking stuff like— like how bees are born full grown than looking that up and perhaps seeing that it’s not 100% true. because honestly, i’m still baffled at the idea of it just being born full size.” stella explained in a bit of a ramble, attempting to stop herself before she talked the other girls ear off. “yeah you’re so right. i’m just kinda disappointed in myself, having been a candle enthusiast for quite some time, that i didn’t think of this!! i’d honestly do anything for a longer lasting candle and it’s been this easy this whole time! can you believe?” 

“Oooo the bees being born full grown is a fact, sort of.” That middle school phase of being obsessed with the discovery channel reared it’s ugly head, the geek flying out of her at top speeds. “So like, the queen bee is the only bee in the hive that can lay eggs, right? She lays eggs and they hatch after three days and turn into larvae. But they get laid inside the hive, which you know, has that honey comb feature with all these little cells. So each larvae is hatched inside a cell and stays there, being fed by worker bees till finally they get covered with a wax cell. And then when their full grown they eat their way out of the seal and boom. So if you think about it, bees actually kinda get born twice.” Dayana didn’t shy away from her rambling, it seemed like she’d made a potential friend who also liked to ramble. “We should do an experiment,” she announced. “Because like...do you freeze it just once and then it’s good. Or do you need to refreeze it after every use? Can a candle get freezerburn? We need to find the answers to these queries for science.”

[dayanamaradona]

meredithinbloom‌:

sometimes, all you needed was a good martini and even better conversation. for the first, she headed to church. for the latter, meredith turned to dayana.

sipping on her grey goose, meredith leaned into the booth and pulled a leg up over a knee, the chiffon of her floral free people skirt slipping and revealing dusty doc martins. sitting in the lounge, mer had strategically sat where she couldn’t see shane working. back to the bar was better knowing how distracted she could become with the pretty bartender behind it. “so spill. tell me everything that’s been happening with you lately? are you seeing anyone or has the dayton trait of ‘no strings attached’ got a hold of you?” dayton had a way with people. committing was easy, it was the temptation of all the pretty people that had eyes wandering. she wondered if temptation would be a factor she needed to worry about in the weeks to come. “-and where did you get your outfit because you look gorgeous.”

@dayanamaradona​

She remembered the first time she found Meredith at church, grey goose in hand, looking like this stunning combination of put together and falling apart. They started as bar fly conversationalists, and then somehow phone numbers had been exchanged, and it felt good to have a friend. Not to mention the fact that Meredith’s floral designs featured very heavily in many of her interior design plans. “Mmm we may need shots before I spill,” she answered with a grimace. “Or you need to be prepared to judge me really hard. I think I may have lost my mind, Mer.” She lets herself be distracted by the compliment, gazing down at the dark washed jeans and crop top she donned. “Yeahhhh...I got this from a little boutique at the edge of town. Went out for stationary and ended up comfort shopping for more than my wardrobe was prepared for.” Her mind circles back and she melts forward, a sigh, her head on her arms and her face tilted towards the brunette. “I....am seeing somebody...but he’s also seeing another somebody. Is that enough juicy gossip for you?”

[dayanamaradona]

stellaforbes‌:

“did you know that if you put a candle in the freezer before burning it, it’ll last longer?” stella mused out of the blue, smiling at the other. “—at least that’s what it said on the snapple cap fact i had yesterday. do you think they’re all true facts or do you think they just spew crap to make us believe anything? makes me kinda question all the ‘facts’ i’ve been telling people every time i drink one..” 

Her eyebrow rose, face softening into friendly interest. “I don’t know, I feel like the facts are true. I’ve looked up a bunch of them in my day and they’re all backed up as far as I can tell.” She was tempted to pull out her phone and google it now, but decided to approach it with more instinctual logic. “I mean, it doesn’t sound that crazy. Frozen chilled wax probably doesn’t burn through as fast.”

[dayanamaradona]

bethanyrob95‌:

Beth had spent a long day unpacking her few belongings in her new, tiny studio apartment. She had spent little time exploring her new home, and all of her time at the hospital or unpacking her things. The blonde loved the location of her apartment. It was right near The Grind which quickly became her new favorite coffee shop. She was excited to finally be able to take a break and head out for a run. What she really needed to find was a gym. She hadn’t gone this long without a gym membership in a while and running just didn’t hit the same as lifting weights. Tying her shoelaces, she headed down the stairs of her apartment building and set her FitBit to “Run”. She took a deep breath as she opened the door before starting into a light jog. She would do this for 2 miles before finding herself in a part of time she was unfamiliar with. She stopped in her tracks before looking around her to try to find anything that looked vaguely familiar. She sighed, knowing that she got too lost in her music that she wasn’t keeping track of where she was going. She pulled out her phone. 1%. Fuck. Looking around her, she tried to find someone who could help her. “Excuse me, can you help me? I’m new here and kind of lost.” she said, with a small frown. 

Dayana wasn’t a regular runner, and the morning was definitely not usually when she got the urge to put on her comfiest sneakers. But the past few weeks had been tense, her mind a flurry with decisions and worries and processing the new turn her life had taken. This morning she’d woken up and all she’d wanted to do was run until her legs gave out on her. Of course she didn’t actually get that dramatic about it in practice. Her gaze steely, only the white noise of her mind accompanying her as she ran for a good 30 minutes before pausing for a break, stretching her legs and leaning against a tree. The voice calls to her and she stops, eyeing the other girl. Another runner. “Hey,” she greets, stepping closer. “Where are you heading? I’m not the best at directions on my own but thank good for google maps.”

[dayanamaradona]

Trial and Error || Dayana and Calum

[dayanamaradona]

calgoodie‌:

Calum doesn’t know how to tell her. At no point could he ever remember the way he’s always felt about him being something that someone else had asked for. At least not romantically. He was sure Gavin would have had a field day with his psyche if he’d really let him. Tell him that it didn’t have to be romantic. His self hatred came from a time when hating him had become a form of someone else’s entertainment. Something that went much further than just any of his past romantic relationships. The “why” behind the comfort he felt in the dark. But he couldn’t say any of that outloud. He didn’t want her to think he was defending himself. He didn’t deserve that. So instead he nodded, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth to keep his mouth shut as he tried to swallow every word she said despite the knot that had taken over the back of her throat. “I-I know..I know you wouldn’t want that I didn’t… I.. It wont happen again..” He said again, trying to control the shake in his voice that was miserably giving him away. “I swear I didn’t Day… I didn’t… I never would have… I don’t know why… I’m just.. I.. I’m really sorry.” He said again, this time his eyes stinging again as he forced himself to look at her again. Hoping that at least this way, seeing how she was feeling would stop him from crying. It wasn’t fair to her. He knew that. This wasn’t supposed to be about how he was feeling. 

At her next question, looking at her became that much harder. That was what he was asking. Something that felt so foreign. That he’d rejected once so long before and now like a hypocrite was wanting the very same thing. “I… yeah I guess. I’ve… never really been in a situation like this before and I know it’s selfish and I went about it in a really fucked up way but I didn’t think it was possible to be… capable of this? Or to be able to feel things like this.. And it’s not an excuse. I know that it’s just… kind of where I’m at and I don’t know what to do but yes… I really I don’t want to lose either of you.” He said rambling it off and feeling his entire body tense like the air had been sucked out of it when he finished. The rest of the room felt like it’d melted away and he was nothing more than a table away from slipping and his fingers had to slip down to grip the edge of the chair to try and stay grounded while his mind grew ever closer to igniting. Her questions were like punches to the gut. Questions that he didn’t want to admit the answers to because he hated himself for them. Made him want to sink in on himself if it wasn’t going to make it that much more obvious that he was failing at this. 

“I want to…” He confessed, through a voice that no longer sounded like this own. “I want to stay the night with you Day. I want to try that.” He said again, despite the parts of him that knew staying a night away from Callie was going to cause him anxiety like he’d never experienced. It didn’t change that he wanted it. He wanted to know what it was like to fall asleep curled up beside her, with her head on his chest. To know the same things that helped her sleep that he’d learned with Callie. How she liked to be woken up in the morning. All thoughts that he wanted so desperately and at the same time felt a powerful sense of guilt attached. “I want both Day.. I wanna stay the night with you… or at least try and find a way to make that work.. And yes I wanna do breakfast and naps and things like that with you too… I don’t want to take anything off the table. I don’t want you to feel like you’re some second choice. That’s not true. I really care about you.” He said as he finally let his arms curl back in on himself. The anxiety getting the better of him as he contemplated how much longer he could sit without stepping out for air to avoid the more than likely implosion welling up inside of him. “I just didn’t know I was capable of feeling like this until it’d already happened..” He added, as his eyes moved back to the glass of water on the table. He was unsure if he could recall when it arrived in front of him, but reached for it to try and feel anything other than the sense of impending doom that had started to wrap itself around him. 

Every time the shake in his voice sneaks through she feels an undeniable sickness in the pit of her stomach. Like she’s being a bully, like she’s in the wrong. Is she? Is she asking the wrong questions, is she being unfair? He seems so fragile, so innocent and panicked before her. Over the past few months she’d gotten used to feeling like a safe space for him and now she was causing earthquakes in his spirits. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m not...I promise I’m not trying to make this harder. I just...” she gestured helplessly, at no particular person or thing, at the empty space around her. “I don’t know what I need to hear. I don’t know...what I need to ask or get off my chest.” It was foolish that she wanted there to be a resolution right here at this table. Something said that suddenly made all the tension leave, made this all okay. They could come to turns with this new reality and make it functioning before their food even got here. 

And that...that thought made her pause. That thought, subconscious and rolling up on her like an ocean wave you had turned your back on, told her something important. That she wanted to figure it out. She did. She wanted to try and be okay with this.

“I get it,” she murmured, finally reaching out across the table to take his hand in hers. “I get it. I don’t...I don’t think you set out with some plan to woo people at the same time. It...it just happened. It just happened and you didn’t know what to do with it all. I believe you, Calum.” This whole conversation had never been about questioning his intentions. It had been about trying to figure out what this reality was going to look like, if it was something that she could live with.  He talks about wanting to spend the night with her, wanting her and them. She is a second choice. There’s a truth in that, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, it doesn’t have to be an apocalyptic truth. Second choices were still choices after all. They held value. They mattered.  “I care about you too,” she whispered, voice quivering with emotion. She releases his hand just as he pulled his arms back in on himself, and the fear bubbles up again, not in the same place though. “I care about you and I’m...I’m trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. I don’t want to hurt you Calum. I can’t promise that I can do this, that I can be okay with this. I can’t make a promise cause I don’t know how this is going to feel, how it’s going to feel to be in this with you. If...if for some reason we get part of the way into this and I realize I can’t...I can’t make it work I don’t...fuck I don’t want to hurt you.” She wipes a wayward tear that’s trying to escape down her cheek. “But then if...if I end this right here right now I’m hurting both of us because...that’s not what I want. I...want you. I love you. I’m in love with you, Calum.” 

He looks like someone who needs protection, but she has to take a breath and remind herself that he’s a grownup. She can’t make choices for him. “I...I think I want to try. If you’re sure that’s what you want. If you tell me that’s what you want to do, and that you understand there’s a chance I may not be okay with all this, I may not be able to get there with it. Then I...I’ll trust you, Calum. I trust you. And we can try to...to figure out how to do this together. Like...like sketching rough drafts of a design. We just go slow, be careful, use a light hand so we can make changes.”

[dayanamaradona]

alfiefreakingwilliams‌:

( @dayanamaradona​ )

“Look at this, I moved up three whole levels on my game in a matter of minutes. If there aren’t awards for this, there friggin’ should be.” Alfie cheesed across from his friend, and quite frankly, sister fromma different mista. He loved hanging out with Dayana, because there wasn’t any lame ass drama going on between them, no tension, or reason to want to pull his hair out. It felt like at the moment, she was the only one keeping him level headed, and down to earth. It was easy to get stuck on shit he didn’t wanna think about when he was so far from home. It was nice to have someone he could trust to just talk to without any other added complications, or having to think carefully about what he said, and how he said it. “Anywho -” He put down his phone, and then took a sip of the tea he’d been nursing for about half an hour, because sadly he couldn’t find sweet tea for shit out here, and having to put the sugar packets in himself was just sad, and didn’t mix well with iced tea. “Fill me in on all the latest gossip. Feel like I’m outta the loop with all the crazy shart I’ve been in the middle of.”

Alfie is a breath of fresh air. In Dayton everyone you meet is trying to be the hardest, the edgiest, the kinkiest, the most taboo in a town that doesn’t believe in taboos. Alfie is himself, multifaceted but not afraid to geek out about a video game he’s loving, not opposed to the idea of them being friends. “Are there in-game awards?” she asked with a raised brow. Dayana wasn’t much of a game person herself, even at the height of the candy crush phase she hadn’t bothered, but all games gave you some sort of satisfaction in playing. There was a prize, it was just that most of the prizes were cleverly designed to make you spend money.  “Oh boy,” she breathed out when he asked for gossip. She’d been meaning to talk to Alfie for a while now, he was a good listener who gave great advice. “So that guy I was seeing. Calum. You know how I kept saying things were so good between us except he’d go super radio silent sometimes and I wouldn’t see or hear from him for days?” She looks down at her soda, fizzing happily, bubbly in a way she wasn’t. “Turns out he has another girlfriend. And before you get all upset on my behalf he...well he didn’t do it with nefarious or mean spirited intentions. He met us at the same time, thought nothing was going to come of his chemistry with the other girl, and then things kind of clicked with both of us at the same time. So now...he like...he wants to date us both? And I have to figure out if I’m okay with that.”

[dayanamaradona]

Trial and Error || Dayana and Calum

[dayanamaradona]

calgoodie‌:

What she’s asking of him should be reasonable. He should be able to give it to her without a second thought. Stop hating yourself. Stop calling yourself terrible things. Even though you’ve gone at this for months. Fallen back into the same pattern. The same awful things he’d done to Celeste. The same fights that had caused all the heartbreaks and the back and forth. The same toxic shit he’d gotten himself into with Georgie, and seen at home. Everything relationship he’d ever been in, ever seen came with such massive degrees of fuck ups. How was he not supposed to align himself with them. He had never been involved in something that he hadn’t managed to fuck up disastrously and to do so to them. To Dayana. To Callie. To see the hurt looks on their faces. There was nothing more monstrous in the world to him. But at her request he nodded. Nodded and clenched his eyes shut tightly to try and engrain that reminder into his head. She didn’t want to hear it and he owed her everything he was capable of. His throat feeling more and more dry as he tried to bottle up the fear that was bouncing around his insides, eyes only opening again when he felt her reach out to grab his hand. “I won’t… I’ll stop. I won’t do it again. I-I don’t mean to.. I know you don’t think that.. I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean to. I just..I.. I won’t do it again.” He promises as he gives her a look to try and show her his ability to be okay while being completely aware of what he’d done to her. “You have… every right to.. feel all the things about this.” He said through shuddered breaths as his free hand dropped to curl around his pant legs tightly, 

He listened to her fears, all of her concerns. All very similar to the fears Callie had expressed as well and once again he wasn’t sure he had an answer for them. He’d done his very best not to make promises to Callie regarding Dayana in the same way he would vise versa but oh how that left him with very little knowledge on how to move forward. “I um…I don’t know Day… I don’t know.. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know anything aside from the fact that I’m in love with you. And I want to be with you and make this work. I want to see you and figure it out… and I know it probably won’t be easy… and I really really don’t wanna give up on this.” He said, trying to sound confident despite the feeling of his lips physically trembling as each word was spoken. “What… what we have is different… I don’t… I don’t like to think of things are bigger or deeper or anything like that… they’re just different.. I have friends.. Friends I love and care about a lot who know about this. Who would love to meet you and I’d really like for you to meet them..I want to give you all the normals and be better at this I’m just…” He paused before he let himself fall back on the request she’d just made of him. “I um… I know.. I.. get wanting that probably seems kinda dumb and I can’t really give you legistics but I..” He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling as his eyes cast back down towards his lap to try and swallow the ache. 

“S-she um.. She didn’t… It’s not… Dayana it’s not… she didn’t give us permission to do this… She just knows it’s happening.. and that it’d take figuring out. And.. a lot of work..” He tried to explain doing his very best to try and keep from retreating to a full blown shut down. “We’re… we’re not conditional based on anything but you and me…How you feel about me… especially after all this..” He said his voice getting quieter by the second as he dug his nail so deeply into his leg that the beginning of the ache kept him present. “I don’t…. I don’t know Day..I’ve never done this… I have never hated myself more for anything in my entire life than what I’m doing to you..I’m selfish… but I really wanna try…I want to be there for you. I want to earn your trust back so you can feel secure in me.” He said again, unsure if he was capable of answering the rest as he glanced up at her again, wanting at least one more look as he tried to prepare himself for the worst. 

This is so hard. It’s so hard because he’s so precious. His eyes are wide, his voice trembles, she can feel how hard he’s trying to fix this, trying to please her. Day wants to reach out and take care of him, wipe her own pain and fear off her face and tell him there’s no problem, everything is fine, everything is fine. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them in the long run. “I just....I don’t want you to think that’s what I want from you. To hear you hurt yourself. I don’t...I know it’s hard to stop stuff like that, I don’t expect you to do it overnight. But I needed you to hear me say I don’t want it, I don’t need it. I don’t know if that’s what you’ve had to do to make other people in your life feel better, Calum, but I’m not them. This doesn’t get better with name calling or hateful thoughts. This...this situation is painful and uncomfortable it’s shit...the situation is shit. But you aren’t shit. I don’t think you’re a monster. I don’t think you did this on purpose. It’s a thing that’s happened to us, to all of us.”

He says it again. That he’s in love with her. But when he says it they both know their love is a smaller sliver of the pie that makes him up. But it’s all of her. It’s her whole heart. “I love you too,” she whispers, voice trembling and the tears starting up in her eyes again. Day makes herself take a breath. She gives herself and Calum permission to not be able to fix this whole thing in one go. There are questions he can’t answer, questions that weren’t far of her to ask. But if she didn’t voice them she feared they’d rattle in her head so loud they became all she could hear. Even though she hates the way his face looks, the way he swallows down terror, can barely meet her eyes, it feels better to have asked the questions. Let the jealousy out. Yes, yes she’s jealous, and it doesn’t do her any good to pretend she isn’t. She’s afraid that he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him, she’s afraid and that fear makes her want to pull away, hold herself back from him.

“So....both of us. All of us? That’s....that’s what you’re asking for?” Her eyes flicker up to his, she’s worried the paper napkin on her side of the table to shreds. “I want...I want you, Calum. I want to be with you. And if you’re telling me that we could move forward, that...that I can be part of your life and spend more time with you. I like how that feels. I like the sound of that.” She doesn’t know if it’s anything he’s said that settled her into her choice. Or if this had been the only option for her all along and she’d just needed to go through the motions for the sake of it. “You’ll never stay the night with me will you?” she asked softly. It’s a stupid thing to hang onto, a detail that she thinks she could get over, get past. “Breakfast though? Can you come over for breakfast sometimes? Maybe breakfast and a little morning nap...so I can just...know what it feels like to close my eyes and fall asleep in your arms?”

[dayanamaradona]

jackrhodes‌:

Jack nodded before chuckling lightly. “I’ve been here, or– attached to here all my life,” he said with a small smile. “Dayton born and bred, I’ve seen this place go from an empty lot to a sex shop, to an Italian place, to a bakery to a coffee shop and these guys are the– third owners? Something like that,” he recounted before shaking his head at her question. Originally, he’d planned to take his coffee to-go and walk around town for a while and re-map where everything was nowadays. But, he could stay for a while. There was nothing better to do, after all. “Sure, I can sit for a bit,” he followed her over and slid into the booth before pointing to his coffee. “Thanks for the top-up by the way… Where’d you get that from anyway?” He nodded towards the vial she had. “You make your own?”

Dayana let out a whistle, impressed. “You’ve watched a full fledged evolution. That must have been quite the experience,” she mused, fascinated. “Did you think it was gonna get this big?” It wouldn’t have been taken personally if he’d decided to skedaddle, but she was glad that he slid into the booth. “Me? No, I don’t make my own,” she answered with a shake of her head. “I can’t even role my own joints, I’m hopeless with that stuff. But I have a client I work with and every time I finish redecorating a room in her house she gives me a fresh supply.” Playful grin as she takes a sip of her own coffee. “Nice to have friends with deep pockets and good drug supplies.”

[dayanamaradona]

ckrause‌:

Christian hadn’t been out in a while, he had been craving contact with anyone.  He decided to dress up nice for a night out of town. He knew that he would just end up at one his favourite restaurants were he planned on having some food and few drinks.  He just craved to be around people at that moment in time. If he ended up at another party then so be it, it meant that he could drink more and just have an all-around good time.

Christian sat down at the bar, he nodded to the bartender. The nice thing about having money is that he ate out almost every night. Most of the time at the same places, so they knew what he loved and what he did not like.  Christian smiled at the bartender. “Thanks,” he said to the person behind the bar. He turned slightly which caused him to pump into the person next to him. “I am so, sorry. Can I get you a drink to apologize?” he asked. Christian seemed to have spilled some of his drink and the person beside him and he felt horrible.

Most nights Dayana liked to cook at home, a glass of wine, the quiet sizzle of food in a pan, imperfect presentation on her favorite terracotta colored plates, all while wearing a face mask and comfy slippers. But sometimes she’d leave a client’s home and a restaurant would catch her attention, begging her to tantalize her taste buds with something she just couldn’t make at home. This place was a little rich for her blood, the sort of food that would leave her hungry and probably picking up a burger on the way home. But sometimes exploration was luxurious in and of itself. She was just dressed up enough to not be a sore thumb amid the crowd, but definitely not up to the snazzy standards of many of the other guests. 

The dress she wore was 20 bucks on a clearance rack but...that didn’t mean she wanted it stained. “Oh no!” Fingers grab for napkins and she begins a harried attempt to dab at the growing stain on her skirt. Brows furrowed she looked up at the male. “Well...I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. As long as you don’t spill it on me. I suppose it’s lucky for me you were working on something clear and not some food coloring painted cocktail. You’ve never known true panic until someone has spilled a bright blue malibu baybreeze all over your white silk blouse.”