daybreaktumble

random musings of a twenty something lady

[daybreaktumble]

i swipe the card and escape the hurt

i fucking hate myself for always running away

scroll endlessly, chasing that dopamine hit

shopping for stuff that i don't need

filling my body with fat, oil and carbs

i want to regurgitate myself

i want to skin myself

i want to get out of myself

i am tired of myself

[daybreaktumble]

alone

i didn't realize how hard it is to keep myself company. it's difficult to maintain this adult life.

[daybreaktumble]

too overwhelmed by events that are out of my control

[wei--wuxian]

what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become

[starlightacademia]

"So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being."

— Jack Kerouac

[daybreaktumble]

people at work

for the past few months, tenured employees have been resigning left and right. is this perhaps our version of the great resignation?

and today our director also resigned. although i heard it's for a personal reason and not because of career shift or to join another company.

nevertheless, the sadness is felt from each employee.

meanwhile, i got promoted. it's very confusing to feel happy about a promotion but at the same time feel sad about the people leaving. i had to step out today and get some fresh air because i couldn't quite process my feelings right.

on the bright side, we heard that profit has increased and we're aiming to go global, starting with asia pacific. that's reassuring to hear that our company is not going under.

i guess we have to see what will happen in 2023... if it's worth staying a little bit longer or if i should move on, too.

[daybreaktumble]

quietly i realized i am in love with you

that your happiness means my happiness too

and that i am content by simply watching you right where i am

i no longer yearn for your affection

though i know having it returned will shatter and complete me in seconds

i only yearn to see you smile at your proudest moments

and to know that finally you see yourself worthy in spaces that you thought were not made for you

perhaps the writers and philosophers got it right

that this right here is love: unselfish and satisfied with not asking for more.

[rainreads-deactivated20250201]

Jorge Luis Borges.

[wedarkacademia]

(via violentwavesofemotion)

[freshmoviequotes]

Pearl (2022)

[wedarkacademia]

[daybreaktumble]

hiragana pt. 2

i wonder why ki and sa are both written differently in the textbook and the computer?

[thepersonalquotes]

[daybreaktumble]

i would really love... to stop loving you. i wish i can get you out of my head.

[daybreaktumble]

hiragana

learning a new language is fun

[daybreaktumble]

joji

I just wanna lay right by your side

[daybreaktumble]

Coffee cups and cigarettes Upon the balcony A lost philosophy Breaking down A summer frown has got the best of me Won't you confess to me? You don't need me To function anymore Take the keys and lock the door You don't need me

[daybreaktumble]

yearning for the impossible

waste our love on things that won't ever give it back