An Average Girl With Her Average Thoughts

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part One

Con-si-de-ra-tion. A magical and powerful word. A word that most of us don’t think twice about. Well, if not most than some. I’ve been thinking a lot about this word. Mostly because of all the craziness that has been going on lately, people fighting over things that can make the world a better place, but instead of fighting for everyone’s rights those rights only apply to each individual when convenient. Don’t worry I won’t go on a rant, that is not the purpose here. With this blog, I want to be able to express the daily thoughts that go through my average brain, and sometimes it will make sense, and other times it probably won’t.

This week I want to focus on the word that has been going through my overthinker head, consideration. What does it mean? What do I mean by it? Well, I will tell you. Consideration can be defined in so many ways

1. continuous and careful though

2. a matter weighed or taken into account when formulating an opinion or plan

3. an opinion obtained by reflection

You might ask but what do you mean with all of this? Well, the first one comes to mind is since we are humans we have a lot of thoughts and one that comes to me is that we literally have a couple of months left before the year ends. It’s crazy, right? I honestly had a lot of hope that our dreams could come true but as the time is winding down, that is seeming a bit unlikely. I’m not trying to be negative but it’s pretty brutal to think that a year that was supposed to be filled with hope, dreams coming true, and fun. So, the thought that is “considered” is how do we salvage what is left of this year? With humans dying, getting sick, plans being canceled, it’s hard to think of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Next, you start to think or in this case “consider” what plans do you have for this unforeseen year? What opinions really matter to me, you the most? It’s hard to say and figure out how to go forth with any plans and it’s even harder when listening and taking into account what opinions matter and which ones don’t.

The last one is my favorite, and I honestly feel that it is something we can all take a look at. In life there are so many moments that make us reflect on how blessed we are, healthy, having the mobility to move, and one of the things that I was in the deep hole of dwelling in. Don’t worry, I will go through all of them.

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part Two

Let’s go back to the first one, with everything that is going on, every thought that needs to be thought out carefully. As new social media applications are developed and with so many people on it, it is easy to lose oneself and just say whatever comes to your mind. Has anyone ever thought to pause, look, analyze? And not just spitting out whatever is coming to the mind. I know what you're thinking, “It’s my freedom of speech” or “Aren’t you doing the same?” In fact, I am and the reasoning behind is because I honestly believe people have forgotten how to be considerate. When speaking on recent topics I’ve noticed that time and time again, we loosely say words and statements that are proof of a non-consideration behavior. Meaning that the world has missed the concept of being a human being, a decent human being. Our world collides with the cruelty that is in the form of an iceberg. The mindset is “Well if it isn’t me or my family, it’s okay”, which let me tell you aren’t okay. Where did the decent humans go? Do we not care for each other anymore? How selfish have we become? I honestly think that consider/consideration has one gone out the window...and it’s sad.

The next point, the one in which your genius brain needs to come up with a plan. A plan for what is left of the year. If you haven’t realized by now the plans that were set in stone are longer going to happen. I’m sorry. I know that a lot of those plans were big milestones, celebrations, even the simplest of getting together. So now, what do you do? This is probably the situation in which you get the idea of going to a friend, asking your parents or someone that you trust for advice, but how much is “too much advice?”. You ask for one and the end up getting a domino effect in the end. All you can do is consider your own advice. That’s the only one that counts. You will most likely get opinions from every corner of the world. It’s good to listen but at the end of the day all that matters is going to be the one you make, consider them all, sit down, analyze, and decide. I hope that the decision you make is one that can be considerate of everyone and yourself.

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part Three

The last one as stated before is my favorite. As staying at home has become the new “going out”, you can’t help but reflect on what life is now. I am scared, angry, sad, and with no clue on how to act. Should I pretend that everything is okay? Should I worry every second, every hour? Or should I just turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is okay? Well, after careful consideration I decided that I am going to go one day at a time. I know I sound like a machine on repeat, but it’s true, and it’s the only way. Today was good, and that is that. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow and I can’t control anything about that. You are probably also thinking what in the world does this have to do with consideration and I will tell you. I was sitting in my bed flipping through Netflix deciding what I should watch when I switched over to Disney+, and Frozen 2 popped up! If I haven’t told you I am a big fan of Frozen.

As cheesy as it sounds Frozen has some excellent advice when looking at it closely. Like, don’t marry a guy you barely met, sibling relationships are hard, a change of outfit makes for a powerful statement! The point is that in Frozen 2 ***Spoiler Alert*** as Anna is left without Elsa and Olaf, she wonders what to do? Anna then begins to sing “The Next Right Thing” a song filled with power and emotion. A song that reminded me that after reflecting, the next right thing to do is to wake up day by day and do the best that you can. When obtaining the time to reflect it’s hard to consider what to do? How will life continue? I wish I was a magician so that I can give you the ultimate answer but I don’t. I try really hard every night to wish for magical powers and nothing, but what I can tell you is that when reflecting the next right thing to do is to wake up and go on with your day. Wake up, go about your routine, knowing that every day you are trying. It will take some time but as Anna stated it’s “The Next Right Thing” to do, not the simplest but definitely the right one.

Well, I hope this piece made sense. If it didn’t then I hope you obtain something for it because then I’m a weird average girl rather a normal average girl.

With all my shyness and meows, fighting!

-Nord Stone

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part One

Con-si-de-ra-tion. A magical and powerful word. A word that most of us don’t think twice about. Well, if not most than some. I’ve been thinking a lot about this word. Mostly because of all the craziness that has been going on lately, people fighting over things that can make the world a better place, but instead of fighting for everyone’s rights those rights only apply to each individual when convenient. Don’t worry I won’t go on a rant, that is not the purpose here. With this blog, I want to be able to express the daily thoughts that go through my average brain, and sometimes it will make sense, and other times it probably won’t.

This week I want to focus on the word that has been going through my overthinker head, consideration. What does it mean? What do I mean by it? Well, I will tell you. Consideration can be defined in so many ways

1. continuous and careful though

2. a matter weighed or taken into account when formulating an opinion or plan

3. an opinion obtained by reflection

You might ask but what do you mean with all of this? Well, the first one comes to mind is since we are humans we have a lot of thoughts and one that comes to me is that we literally have a couple of months left before the year ends. It’s crazy, right? I honestly had a lot of hope that our dreams could come true but as the time is winding down, that is seeming a bit unlikely. I’m not trying to be negative but it’s pretty brutal to think that a year that was supposed to be filled with hope, dreams coming true, and fun. So, the thought that is “considered” is how do we salvage what is left of this year? With humans dying, getting sick, plans being canceled, it’s hard to think of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Next, you start to think or in this case “consider” what plans do you have for this unforeseen year? What opinions really matter to me, you the most? It’s hard to say and figure out how to go forth with any plans and it’s even harder when listening and taking into account what opinions matter and which ones don’t.

The last one is my favorite, and I honestly feel that it is something we can all take a look at. In life there are so many moments that make us reflect on how blessed we are, healthy, having the mobility to move, and one of the things that I was in the deep hole of dwelling in. Don’t worry, I will go through all of them.

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part Two

Let’s go back to the first one, with everything that is going on, every thought that needs to be thought out carefully. As new social media applications are developed and with so many people on it, it is easy to lose oneself and just say whatever comes to your mind. Has anyone ever thought to pause, look, analyze? And not just spitting out whatever is coming to the mind. I know what you're thinking, “It’s my freedom of speech” or “Aren’t you doing the same?” In fact, I am and the reasoning behind is because I honestly believe people have forgotten how to be considerate. When speaking on recent topics I’ve noticed that time and time again, we loosely say words and statements that are proof of a non-consideration behavior. Meaning that the world has missed the concept of being a human being, a decent human being. Our world collides with the cruelty that is in the form of an iceberg. The mindset is “Well if it isn’t me or my family, it’s okay”, which let me tell you aren’t okay. Where did the decent humans go? Do we not care for each other anymore? How selfish have we become? I honestly think that consider/consideration has one gone out the window...and it’s sad.

The next point, the one in which your genius brain needs to come up with a plan. A plan for what is left of the year. If you haven’t realized by now the plans that were set in stone are longer going to happen. I’m sorry. I know that a lot of those plans were big milestones, celebrations, even the simplest of getting together. So now, what do you do? This is probably the situation in which you get the idea of going to a friend, asking your parents or someone that you trust for advice, but how much is “too much advice?”. You ask for one and the end up getting a domino effect in the end. All you can do is consider your own advice. That’s the only one that counts. You will most likely get opinions from every corner of the world. It’s good to listen but at the end of the day all that matters is going to be the one you make, consider them all, sit down, analyze, and decide. I hope that the decision you make is one that can be considerate of everyone and yourself.

[daydreamerprincess4]

Consider (Considered, Consideration) Part Three

The last one as stated before is my favorite. As staying at home has become the new “going out”, you can’t help but reflect on what life is now. I am scared, angry, sad, and with no clue on how to act. Should I pretend that everything is okay? Should I worry every second, every hour? Or should I just turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is okay? Well, after careful consideration I decided that I am going to go one day at a time. I know I sound like a machine on repeat, but it’s true, and it’s the only way. Today was good, and that is that. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow and I can’t control anything about that. You are probably also thinking what in the world does this have to do with consideration and I will tell you. I was sitting in my bed flipping through Netflix deciding what I should watch when I switched over to Disney+, and Frozen 2 popped up! If I haven’t told you I am a big fan of Frozen.

As cheesy as it sounds Frozen has some excellent advice when looking at it closely. Like, don’t marry a guy you barely met, sibling relationships are hard, a change of outfit makes for a powerful statement! The point is that in Frozen 2 ***Spoiler Alert*** as Anna is left without Elsa and Olaf, she wonders what to do? Anna then begins to sing “The Next Right Thing” a song filled with power and emotion. A song that reminded me that after reflecting, the next right thing to do is to wake up day by day and do the best that you can. When obtaining the time to reflect it’s hard to consider what to do? How will life continue? I wish I was a magician so that I can give you the ultimate answer but I don’t. I try really hard every night to wish for magical powers and nothing, but what I can tell you is that when reflecting the next right thing to do is to wake up and go on with your day. Wake up, go about your routine, knowing that every day you are trying. It will take some time but as Anna stated it’s “The Next Right Thing” to do, not the simplest but definitely the right one.

Well, I hope this piece made sense. If it didn’t then I hope you obtain something for it because then I’m a weird average girl rather a normal average girl.

With all my shyness and meows, fighting!

-Nord Stone

[daydreamerprincess4]

Wisdom of Words From A Princess Introvert

As a new reality sets in, for some this new reality sucks. Understanding that hugs, kisses, and close encounters are now measured by a rule of six feet apart, is not the vision we picture for 2020. With a new year, came new hope, dreams, and chances, but were all put to a halt due to the virus. I bet 2019 is looking way better now. With half of the population yearning, running, and ready to jump out the door we got a bit of a glimpse, but it became too greedy. With that their are people ready to take the plunge, others not so quite. Those are the utterly quiet but fabulous introverts. The dictionary defines introverts as a “shy, reticent person” but I like to think we are more like cats. They are okay with going outside but don’t see it as the end of the world if we don’t. Anyways, with the whole pandemic it was the perfect excuse for staying at home, in non-business casual clothing and if you’re not working, binge-watching the millions and millions of shows that are available on the never-ending applications that we have. For those who are “working” (emphasis on the quotations) the same goes for you (wink, wink). Well, since staying at home was the new rule and it was like heaven had opened up. The constant fear and anxiety of wondering what craziness or idiotic scenarios we dreaded to face at work suddenly became invisible. I even had a reason why I didn’t have to wash my hair on a daily basis (Not sure if I was supposed to tell you that but it’s out). The number of reasons for staying at home grew by the day and in some sense, I felt relieved. Don’t get me wrong I love going out. Planning Disney Dates, Movie Nights, and even Game nights were worth putting on sucking-tight jeans and fixing that frizzy hair, that no matter what still would not stay put, but in all honesty, I couldn’t help but jump for joy. I know that sounds heartless and mean. Did it make me a monster, for not wanting to go out and just stay home? Did I not really care or love the people that I possibly wouldn’t be able to see for an indefinite time? Was I that cruel? For days I would be filled with guilt and remorse as I yearned for the stay at home order to be extended. Still that anxiety, nervousness, and fear would magically disappear. I didn’t have to worry about dealing with people from the outside world or the dangers that could catch up. I was protected by the four corners of my bedroom. Protected and shield. I also felt protected because I had an excuse for why I can’t go after my dream. I could shield myself in my daily naps combined with countless moments of daydreaming. If you haven’t noticed I’m not much of a doer. I can’t tell you the number of times that instead of facing a problem or going after what I yearned for; I instead lean into daydreaming as my safety net. I hate it but then again it’s that feeling of safety and protection of my own mind that keeps in the corner of the bedroom. Plus disappointment and rejection aren’t the best feelings in the world. It sucks, it hurts, and let’s be honest, I am a bit of a baby. There I said it! The pandemic is long from being gone, cases of infection are on the rise, death continues to take the lives of many, many people. And somehow we are acting like nothing is happening?! For us introverts that panic and uneasiness begins to climb up to the mind and heart. Even as my parents and health authorities state that new measures are being taken for the safety of people, I can’t help but want to crawl up like a little baby. I’m not saying it’s my parents or sister’s fault but I was a bit protected (Since I work as a fulltime, stay at home princess) but of course exposed to the realities of the world. Even then my brain can’t help but go to the darkness of the “What If’s”. Those what if’s are the worst and they can drive you crazy but they can also serve as a push. For introverts, it serves as the annoying, irritating pimple that is visibly on your face and no matter how much you try to cover it, PEOPLE CAN STILL SEE IT! 

Well, as everyone prepares to go back to the normal life those what if’s are popping up like crazy and it’s scary. How do they go away? How do I put the fear, distress, and mistrust behind me? Is it even possible? For an introvert, these questions are crucial in deciding when and how we are going to go out in the world. I can’t tell you the tiredness and indecisiveness that I faced on a daily basis. Before the pandemic it would be a battle of wanting to hang out with friends and loved ones to just wanting to stay home, curled up in my bed, watching reruns of the Golden Girls. For a moment I didn’t have to worry or think about these battles, but now, it was time. We need to grow up! How can we? Well, that answer is simple. The answer is that there is no correct answer. Being at home has taught me that the fear, uneasiness, and multi-million questions will always be there. Sadly, there is no cure yet for the virus and as humans we are going to have to learn how to live with new rules, distancing, and adapting to a life that we never imagine we would have to go through. So, what do us introvert’s do? For one, please shower! Do not go without showering. It is not good hygiene and plus it makes your hair itchy. Trust me on that. Second, protect yourself with the people you love. I know that sounds weird and contradicting since we tend to enjoy solitude, but trust me, in moments like these curling up, texting, and calling those who shower you with love is one of the best remedies. There have been many, many, many moments in which the corner of my room wasn’t enough to guard me against those terrible thoughts, but just when I believed that those terrible what if’s were going to get me, the superheroes of my life would come and fight them off. Third, take those thoughts one day at a time. Trying to push all those thoughts down beneath the surface won’t do any good so when they show up, listen to them, break them down, and show them who’s boss. YOU ARE THE BOSS! YOU! Don’t ever let them know that they have the power over you because they don’t. The fourth and most important one is to continue to daydream but also keep yourself in check with the realities of the world. What does that mean you may ask? 

Well, dear introvert’s it means that when the superheroes and sidekicks can’t come to the rescue, clasp your hands together, take deep breaths, and daydream of the world you want to walk onto. This also means that when you’re not daydreaming check out the issues of the world and ask, where, why, when. It’s important for us introverts to know that there are bad events and people but it shouldn’t take place in our corner for the rest of our lives. Be careful, be informed, and live.  I know it’s tough to say but, introverts were going to have to step outside. Into the real world. I know, I know, it’s not exactly what we want. Just thinking about it, my chest is pounding and wanting to run to my mommy so she can magically rub the bad away, but I am a big girl. A big, womanly adult. I must face it. We must face it. The truth is I don’t know if I will ever get rid of the fear but one thing I know is that I can’t keep hiding, and neither should you. No matter how scary and tough the world is. 

Did this letter help? I hope it did because if it didn’t I completely wasted an entire thirty-minute rerun of the Golden Girls episode. Just kidding! This will never be a waste. 

One last thing, introvert to introvert, I can only hope that you are showering because if you’re not…we definitely have a problem. Now I will leave with the wise words of my mother, “Where is my boba? I love you. Don’t worry. Be happy!”. Remember, her words not mine. I’ll tell you the little old lady is a genius! 

[daydreamerprincess4]

Will be posting something new soon...stay tune!

[daydreamerprincess4]

Without a doubt this has been one of the hottest times and weeks! Hope everyone is stay cool and fresh! Will be back with another post...stay tune. :)

[daydreamerprincess4]

Part 2:

Well, the day’s pass, and no matter how much I wish I was at my dream job, it hasn’t happened. That part is mostly mine, and what that means it is all my fault. I haven’t put myself out there and tired like all of those that have actually tired. The person inside of me wants to be so bad but I always get scared and that when I turn into a coward and rely on my daydreaming. In my daydreaming, I would be confident, not scared and I would be taking action on my dreams, instead of just sitting wishing and yearning.

The downfall of daydreaming is that you can get stuck in those dreams. As mentioned before I am the talking and no action girl (and don’t get any dirty ideas), so I sit in my dreams and thoughts thinking that they will eventually turn into reality and walk right up to my door. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work and I don’t know if they ever will. Like everyone in this world, I have a dream...I won’t say it because I am a bit embarrassed and I think my dream is a bit typical. Maybe once I am ready I can say it out loud. Until then stay safe and healthy!

Thanks for reading!

[daydreamerprincess4]

Hello, I guess it's been some time but I've prepared something that I hope will inspire everyone, or at least for all of you to like. So here it goes. Part 1:

Well, I am still as introverted as always and don’t you dare judge me. I have made so much progress but I still get that anxious feeling and I start screaming and like Boo from Monster Inc. and I start to run, looking from my Sully and Mike.

This week's topic is Daydreaming, which is a topic that I had mentioned in my previous writing. Let’s start out first with what is the definition of daydreaming. By the words of Google, daydreaming is defined as “Is the stream of consciousness that detaches from current external tasks when attention drifts to a more personal and internal direction”, which made no sense at all to me. I just needed a simple definition but no...Google decided that they needed to give a story on daydreaming. Let me break it down to you. Daydreaming is a logical and physical tool that can be used to influence the direction of your life. What-ever do you mean? Simple, the logical part is that when daydreaming you are setting up and creating the life and career that you wish for. I know, you are probably like what? I wasn’t thinking about either or I was thinking more about what to binge-watch on Netflix (In all honesty I was too), but here is the thing, daydreaming is a source of life. Without it, our brains would go crazy.

Let me explain:

I remember like it was yesterday. I was sitting in one of my classes at school (Don’t ask me which one because I don’t remember) when suddenly I felt like I was drifting away, there was no else in the room, I was walking around a room when I finally found a stage and as I waked up there I started to dance. I was doing these perfect moves and choreography. It was great, I wasn’t average. I was wowing the crowd and the judges, I was unstoppable. I was going to make it to the finale with my epic dance and win. Win what? I have no idea but I was going to win something. This is when I realized that daydreaming would be my source of health and sanity for my life. I don’t have magical powers, talent, or skills to assure me that I will ever achieve my dream job but with daydreaming, I can at least obtain a little bit of what I dream. Daydreaming doesn’t assure me anything but it did make me happy and filled with joy. It would make me feel good and happy, even if it was for a moment, at that time I was doing it. I was visible, now, and that everything was going to be A-okay. Don’t get me wrong, watching my favorite television shows and certain YouTube videos also help me keep sane but nothing does it like daydreaming. Daydreaming is the best of the best medicine, there is no way you can have too much of it nor too little. I have never, ever felt overwhelmed or lied to by daydreaming, instead it fuels those dreams that I have inside of me. The ones that keep me up late at night and yearn to accomplish. Although I’m not sure if they are willing to accept a late twenty-something, average wannabe dancer, then maybe hope is not lost at all.

[daydreamerprincess4]

As I was saying:

I was stunned yet aware, I hadn’t really tried to focus on anything, so maybe it was my fault. I was angry, sad, worried, let’s just say my mind was the plot of Inside Out. So I wonder how am I, an average person, supposed to make my dreams come true? It’s not like I can put an average on my resume and start getting calls for companies to want me. Now, this is the sad and hard part of being average, all you really have to show is how much you yearn for a dream and that you will work 1000% to learn. Is that enough? Sadly, no it is not. Although in my heart I yearn for my dream job and how I will put every minute, every strength, and work hard if I had my dream job; the only thing I will get is rejection. Why? Well, is this world “putting your heart on line” or “putting 1000%” doesn’t get you that promotion or that acting gig you dream of. As I am writing this, I realize how negative it sounds but that is not my purpose. My purpose with this is to fight and give average people a fighting chance. Insane, right? You can call me crazy but us, average folks deserve a chance to take a dive in our dreams. I’m not saying that we will be perfect or amazingly great but you never know. It’s easy to look at someone and tell them straight up you have a talent or you don’t, but what if you’re wrong? What if you cast aside the average person solely for the reason that you believe they don’t have talent. I’ve always pondered how humans could easily decide who has a talent and who doesn’t. I even ask God the same questions. There are days in which I can’t get past the idea of why God, life didn’t give me a singing voice, or the smooth moves, a funny bone, or something. Anything! Again, I was stumped and torn. All I wanted was a chance, just once singular, a moment of a chance.

So what have I concluded after all this jargon, is that as an average person I implore everyone to try, to continue trying. I know that there is going to be “the” moment for average people. A day when average becomes the new talent or the new awesome. Would that be cool? I know you are thinking of why would anyone give opportunities to those that are average? Here are three:

Work Non-stop: Us average people want to continuously grow as a person but also intellectually, so we will work, work, and work. Even when our bodies and mind say no more, we will continue

Clear Mind, Clear Heart - What in the cheese does this mean? Well us average people don’t look for fame or popularity, we look to make not only ourselves happy but to make those we love proud. In order to do that we need a clear mind, no malicious thoughts or selfish acts, but a motivation of who we want to be and work towards that goal.

Loyal - Us average people don’t trust easily and when we do, we never let go of those that have put their faith in us. So, trust in me that we are loyal and will be by your side. Please do expect us to offer our opinion but never force it on you. We want the best for those we care for.



So, have I made my case? Whether or not you are an average person to the world, please don’t look down on us. We are searching and trying as hard as we can to achieve our goals and dreams. I can’t tell you the numerous times, days, and months I have cried wishing I was something, someone great. I don’t know if I will ever be a “somebody”, maybe it’s my destiny to just be average but all I know is that I’m going to fight for a chance. Even if it's just once, that’s all I ask. It is all we, us, average folks yearn for. Whether you loved this or hate it, it is out there and I don’t have any regrets. Average folks don’t have time for regrets and if you do, all you get is five minutes to whine about it and that’s all.

Sorry about the long post...but I hope it's something that made you all think and appreciate all your talented and non-talented selfs. Continuing being safe! We all have something great to offer :)

[daydreamerprincess4]

Hello! Or should I just say hi? I’m not sure what tone this piece will take but it might go all over the place. During times of staying at home order and with limited access to gyms, movie theaters, bars, hair salons, and shooting ranges there is so much time left to think about life, and about oneself. What do I mean by that? Well, since the places that we use as an escape for either fun or adult responsibilities, I started to ponder about who I am and what I am destined to be. With all the life events that are going on, these creepy yet truthful questions began to crawl up in my brain. What is my purpose in life? As I watched the news and binge on numerous Netflix shows I could see how people were so inspired and motivated to make a change in the world. People are protesting, speaking out, nurses, doctors, and grocery workers are all risking their lives to help others. I kept thinking “Wow! If I was only interested in science? Or nursing?”, but sadly my heart was not. I was just amazed and admired how they dedicated themselves to a profession that they love. I yearned for that but I am lost in the sea of endless options in which I can pick and say with confidence “This is what I want to do. This is what I love. This is what I am willing to get up in the morning, put on a real smile, and do it”. Don’t me wrong, my job is great and the people are amazing and I am not just saying that because they might end up reading this, I really mean it.

Anyhow, being stuck at home does actually give you time to think and realize that now you actually have the time to do all the events, jobs, projects you’ve always stated that you wanted to do but couldn’t. I know what my excuse was, still is but we’ll talk about that later. Growing up I knew my mind was different and it wasn’t because my parents verified that I was a bit weird (Who cares, owns it) but for the fact that in every situation I would analyze every detail. So, every word, every action, every facial expression would be pre-processed in my head. I am observant and always liked to think ahead. With that, I knew that I had to be good at something but even when analyzing every situation I was and still continued to be average. What do I mean by, you may ask. As I became the overthinker and analytical person that I am today, I grasp that the world perceives and praises people that are “talented”. Again, you ask what is that? Well, talent is defined as “having a natural aptitude or skill for something”. I became puzzled as living the life of a stay-at-home princess didn’t really present those thoughts to me. I didn’t think that my dream would not be of reach because of the lack of talent. I’ll be honest, I can’t sing, act, or dance (Unless you count the two by two steps), and I have never really excelled at a subject or sport. I guess you can say I am a “meh” or in other words average. As I started to grow up I never foresaw that being average would be such a bump in the road. For people who don’t know me, I rely upon the medicine of being around loved ones but also on daydreaming. Daydreaming has been an escape for me so when hitting these bumps I would hide in the fortress of daydreaming. Unfortunately, daydreaming can’t take you far, it is free but can’t take you to reach your dreams. Finding out that I had no real talent or excelled in anything really put the funk in Funkytown.

Part Two coming right up....

[daydreamerprincess4]

Still holding onto 2020...hoping this will get better. Please be safe!

[daydreamerprincess4]

Wisdom of Words From A Princess Introvert

As a new reality sets in, for some this new reality sucks. Understanding that hugs, kisses, and close encounters are now measured by a rule of six feet apart, is not the vision we picture for 2020. With a new year, came new hope, dreams, and chances, but were all put to a halt due to the virus. I bet 2019 is looking way better now. With half of the population yearning, running, and ready to jump out the door we got a bit of a glimpse, but it became too greedy. With that their are people ready to take the plunge, others not so quite. Those are the utterly quiet but fabulous introverts. The dictionary defines introverts as a “shy, reticent person” but I like to think we are more like cats. They are okay with going outside but don’t see it as the end of the world if we don’t. Anyways, with the whole pandemic it was the perfect excuse for staying at home, in non-business casual clothing and if you’re not working, binge-watching the millions and millions of shows that are available on the never-ending applications that we have. For those who are “working” (emphasis on the quotations) the same goes for you (wink, wink). Well, since staying at home was the new rule and it was like heaven had opened up. The constant fear and anxiety of wondering what craziness or idiotic scenarios we dreaded to face at work suddenly became invisible. I even had a reason why I didn’t have to wash my hair on a daily basis (Not sure if I was supposed to tell you that but it's out). The number of reasons for staying at home grew by the day and in some sense, I felt relieved. Don’t get me wrong I love going out. Planning Disney Dates, Movie Nights, and even Game nights were worth putting on sucking-tight jeans and fixing that frizzy hair, that no matter what still would not stay put, but in all honesty, I couldn’t help but jump for joy. I know that sounds heartless and mean. Did it make me a monster, for not wanting to go out and just stay home? Did I not really care or love the people that I possibly wouldn’t be able to see for an indefinite time? Was I that cruel? For days I would be filled with guilt and remorse as I yearned for the stay at home order to be extended. Still that anxiety, nervousness, and fear would magically disappear. I didn’t have to worry about dealing with people from the outside world or the dangers that could catch up. I was protected by the four corners of my bedroom. Protected and shield. I also felt protected because I had an excuse for why I can’t go after my dream. I could shield myself in my daily naps combined with countless moments of daydreaming. If you haven’t noticed I’m not much of a doer. I can’t tell you the number of times that instead of facing a problem or going after what I yearned for; I instead lean into daydreaming as my safety net. I hate it but then again it’s that feeling of safety and protection of my own mind that keeps in the corner of the bedroom. Plus disappointment and rejection aren’t the best feelings in the world. It sucks, it hurts, and let’s be honest, I am a bit of a baby. There I said it! The pandemic is long from being gone, cases of infection are on the rise, death continues to take the lives of many, many people. And somehow we are acting like nothing is happening?! For us introverts that panic and uneasiness begins to climb up to the mind and heart. Even as my parents and health authorities state that new measures are being taken for the safety of people, I can’t help but want to crawl up like a little baby. I’m not saying it’s my parents or sister's fault but I was a bit protected (Since I work as a fulltime, stay at home princess) but of course exposed to the realities of the world. Even then my brain can’t help but go to the darkness of the “What If’s”. Those what if’s are the worst and they can drive you crazy but they can also serve as a push. For introverts, it serves as the annoying, irritating pimple that is visibly on your face and no matter how much you try to cover it, PEOPLE CAN STILL SEE IT! 

Well, as everyone prepares to go back to the normal life those what if’s are popping up like crazy and it’s scary. How do they go away? How do I put the fear, distress, and mistrust behind me? Is it even possible? For an introvert, these questions are crucial in deciding when and how we are going to go out in the world. I can’t tell you the tiredness and indecisiveness that I faced on a daily basis. Before the pandemic it would be a battle of wanting to hang out with friends and loved ones to just wanting to stay home, curled up in my bed, watching reruns of the Golden Girls. For a moment I didn’t have to worry or think about these battles, but now, it was time. We need to grow up! How can we? Well, that answer is simple. The answer is that there is no correct answer. Being at home has taught me that the fear, uneasiness, and multi-million questions will always be there. Sadly, there is no cure yet for the virus and as humans we are going to have to learn how to live with new rules, distancing, and adapting to a life that we never imagine we would have to go through. So, what do us introvert’s do? For one, please shower! Do not go without showering. It is not good hygiene and plus it makes your hair itchy. Trust me on that. Second, protect yourself with the people you love. I know that sounds weird and contradicting since we tend to enjoy solitude, but trust me, in moments like these curling up, texting, and calling those who shower you with love is one of the best remedies. There have been many, many, many moments in which the corner of my room wasn’t enough to guard me against those terrible thoughts, but just when I believed that those terrible what if’s were going to get me, the superheroes of my life would come and fight them off. Third, take those thoughts one day at a time. Trying to push all those thoughts down beneath the surface won’t do any good so when they show up, listen to them, break them down, and show them who's boss. YOU ARE THE BOSS! YOU! Don’t ever let them know that they have the power over you because they don’t. The fourth and most important one is to continue to daydream but also keep yourself in check with the realities of the world. What does that mean you may ask? 

Well, dear introvert’s it means that when the superheroes and sidekicks can’t come to the rescue, clasp your hands together, take deep breaths, and daydream of the world you want to walk onto. This also means that when you’re not daydreaming check out the issues of the world and ask, where, why, when. It’s important for us introverts to know that there are bad events and people but it shouldn't take place in our corner for the rest of our lives. Be careful, be informed, and live.  I know it’s tough to say but, introverts were going to have to step outside. Into the real world. I know, I know, it’s not exactly what we want. Just thinking about it, my chest is pounding and wanting to run to my mommy so she can magically rub the bad away, but I am a big girl. A big, womanly adult. I must face it. We must face it. The truth is I don’t know if I will ever get rid of the fear but one thing I know is that I can’t keep hiding, and neither should you. No matter how scary and tough the world is. 

Did this letter help? I hope it did because if it didn’t I completely wasted an entire thirty-minute rerun of the Golden Girls episode. Just kidding! This will never be a waste. 

One last thing, introvert to introvert, I can only hope that you are showering because if you’re not…we definitely have a problem. Now I will leave with the wise words of my mother, “Where is my boba? I love you. Don’t worry. Be happy!”. Remember, her words not mine. I’ll tell you the little old lady is a genius!