bebel

weeewoooo bsd acc in case twitter d words ~ 22yo

[bsd-bibliophile]

I must have done something heinous in a previous life, to have accumulated such karma. Or perhaps I was born beneath an evil star that destined me to a wretched and ignominious death. If so, why delay it any longer?

Dazai Osamu, “The Mermaid and the Samurai” from Blue Bamboo and Other Stories

[jymoreau29]

Happy belated birthday!! 🎂

[vy0nep]

JEREJEAN

[kaemoss]

AU fantasy AU on All for the Game

Jean is a witcher, Jeremy is a werewolf, Andrew and Aaron are dragons, Kevin is an elf, and Neil is the prince of these lands

[fiugy]

Redoing The Kiss😘

[squishranger]

man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)

[cicada-swarm]

having OCD is so funny because I can promise you that any given point I am having a complex and heated inner dialogue with myself, and I am losing.

[marcusbrutus]

the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

[crushed-oranged-angered]

Jeremy Knox turns 5 and there is too much birthday cake. Pointy hats, a trampoline and an immeasurable amount of gifts. His mother scolds his grandmother for making such a fuss and Angelica Laslo, former movie star, brushes her off with a "you only turn 7 once!" His older brother steals Jeremy's brand new Hot Wheels and his sister sneaks the frosting rose off his corner piece of cake and his youngest brother spits up his own cake on his blue baby onesie. His dad doesn't show

Jeremy Knox turns 11 and there's no time for a party. It's an election year. His mom's new-husband's father is a senator dreaming of a presidential nomination and every minute counts. Even though its only March. Isn't Jeremy too old for parties anyway? His oldest brother gives him 12 punches; one for each year and one for luck but the last one hurts. He watches his favorite movie with his sister and his younger brothers make him construction paper cards. His dad doesn't show.

Jeremy Knox turns 18 and he's high. Bryson gave him the pills last night with a "Happy Birthday" and a twisted smile that didn't feel genuine. His mother and sister might've wished him a "Happy Birthday" when he left for school but he doesn't remember. His youngest brother refused to get out of bed this morning, no matter how much his step father screamed through the door. Jeremy's sure that took priority. His dad doesn't show.

Jeremy Knox turns 19 and his youngest brother never will. Mathilda doesn't say anything. Annalise doesn't say anything. Joshua doesn't say anything. Trent Knox doesn't show.

Jeremy Knox turns 20

Jeremy Knox turns 21

Jeremy Knox turns 22

Jeremy Knox turns 23 and there's too much birthday cake. Cat insisted they make a 3-layer cake from scratch and Laila could only find 9-inch pans at the store. The frosting is blue. The stack of three presents on the dining room table are all wrapped in blue wrapping paper. Jean's shirt is blue. "Your favorite color," Jean says. Cat cuts Jeremy a slice that would have even the Trojan's flexible nutritionist wince. The girls sing and Jeremy swears he hears Jean humming along. Later, the floozies join them. There's more cake and a movie and silly-joke birthday cards full of puns that make Jeremy laugh.

Jeremy turns 23 and Jean asks him "Good Birthday?"

And his smile is big and bright and real when he says "Yes"

[koihoi]

Woof, Woof!

Call me, Jeremy Knox!

[kolts-art]

Вспомнила что завалялись джережаны 0_0

[zombiecowboy65]

I need Jean to crowd Jeremy against a wall next book. We almost had it with the car in Rhemann’s driveway, but Jean stepped back. Next time I need him to step forward, closer, and closer, until Jeremy’s forced to tilt his head back to see him fully and they’re so close Jean’s worried Jeremy can hear his heartbeat, and Jeremy’s worried Jean can hear his. Breathing each other’s air, and Jean’s hand on the wall beside Jeremy’s head. Eyes only flickering away from each other’s when they glance down at the other’s mouth…

[trivia-sea]

[istascha-deactivated20260222]

my body is a machine that turns normal situations into psychological horror

[zombiecowboy65]

I need jerejean to get their shower scene so badly. Jeremy crashing his car and getting injured to a point that he needs help washing himself. Jean climbing in with him. Getting to have the choice of climbing in. Jean facing his worst fears in the name of helping his partner, his friend. His Jeremy. Jeremy having no choice but to accept help in something he probably wouldn’t otherwise. Maybe Jean’s still clothed. Or half clothed. Maybe Jeremy is fully nude. The symbolism of it—Jean who’s always been bared. Jean who has never had the luxury of armor , of boundaries, getting to have them here. Jeremy who is usually hidden behind a mask stripped bare. Jeremy who is used to men seeing him naked being so nervous here, because this is different, somehow. Because this is Jean. Because he is used to attending to others and not having others attend to him. Because Jean is tending to him so gently, treating his body like it’s something precious. Like he is something to be cared for instead of used

Or maybe even Jeremy nearly relapsing and struggling with it. He passes the LSATs and Bryson plants the drugs in his room. Or he crashes his car and is fighting with the accessibility of pain meds, and climbs into the shower and turns on the water and sits in it in parallel with Jean at the beginning of tsc. Maybe he’s at the lofts when it happens. Maybe jeans been paying far too much attention to him, more than Jeremy knows what to do with, and when Jeremy climbs in the shower and is gone for half an hour, he notices. Maybe it doesn’t even take that long. Jean knocks on the door but there’s no answer and it’s locked. And doors have never stopped monsters so they shouldn’t be able to stop him. And he gets it open and finds Jeremy shivering and soaking and crashing out and breaking down , and gets into the shower and just holds him. Despite the water. Barely even registering it. Because His focus is Jeremy and only Jeremy

[zombiecowboy65]

Jeremy wakes to an empty bed.

It shouldn’t be so jarring. He has woken up alone before, whether because he slept late, or because Jean had to pee—or had to take Jabberwocky to pee—but it’s different, this time. And it is jarring.

He’s suddenly aware of every inch of his skin where it touches the sheets, suddenly aware of his lack of clothing. Suddenly aware of his heartbeat, in his throat; of his stomach where it’s sinking through the floor.

He should wait, he thinks. And try not to jump to conclusions.

A minute passes, two. But still, no Jean. No Jabberwocky, either. Jeremy bites his lip, and remembers the way Jean’s teeth had gently nipped the same spot just hours before.

A flush heats his face. He remembers all of it—the press of Jean’s fingers, the caress of his kisses. The heat of him, the weight of him. The nervous laughter, and the shaky breaths they took when they pressed their foreheads together.

For their first time, Jeremy had thought it went well. He’d thought—well, he hadn’t thought much at the time, really, unable to think past a chant of Jean Jean Jean and the realization that for all the sex he had, that it had never quite felt like this.

But maybe he’d read it wrong. Maybe Jean hadn’t felt the same way. Maybe Jeremy had crossed a line, crossed a boundary. Maybe it hadn’t been as good for Jean as it had been for him. Maybe he should’ve focused more on Jean, instead of letting Jean focus on him.

He knew how men liked him, in sex. But he also knows Jean, and Jean isn’t like other men.

…Right?

Jeremy glances over to Jean’s empty side again, and suddenly feels sick with himself for even comparing the two. Jean isn’t the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, but he did love Jeremy, and he did leave, for whatever that reason may be.

Jeremy’s heart kicks up in his chest. What if he’d ruined it? What if, like all the other men in Jeremy’s life, Jean had him, and decided Jeremy wasn’t the one? What if—

The door swings open.

Jeremy goes still as stone. Jean steps in, hands wrapped around the edge of a breakfast tray.

Jeremy blinks at him. And then down at its contents. There are eggs and coffee and … bacon? He glances back up to Jean, and this time, when he does, Jean is staring back at him.

“Oh,” Jean says, as a beautiful blush spreads across his face. “You’re awake.”

“I’m awake,” Jeremy repeats. He hesitates, pushes himself up to a sitting position, and then, because he has never quite learned to control his mouth completely, adds, “You were gone.”

He tries to play it off as a joke, as a lighthearted observation , but his voice cracks, and his expression must give him away, because Jean shoots him an odd look.

“I was coming back,” he tells Jeremy, and Jeremy does his best not to squirm under the weight of his unblinking stare. “I was just making us breakfast.”

“No, yeah,” Jeremy says. “I see that now. But I just—I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

“It is not,” Jean counters. “I should have left a note.”

Jeremy’s flush deepens. “You shouldn’t have to leave a note because you went to the kitchen, Jean.”

“I was supposed to be back before you were up,” Jean tells him. He places the tray on the end of the bed, and then comes to sit at Jeremy’s hip. “To wake you with me, and breakfast. Not to have you wake up alone.”

He pauses,and when Jeremy looks away, refusing to meet his eye, asks, “Did you think I left?”

Jeremy opens his mouth. Closes it. Jean says, “Jeremy.”

“I told you,” Jeremy says, “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Jean puts a hand on either side of his face, and holds him there. “I will tell you as many times as you need. I am not going anywhere. You will not lose me. I will always, always come back to you. Each and every time.”

Jeremy stares at him. “You can’t know that.”

“I can, and I do,” Jean says. “I promise you this. And I do not ever break my promises.”

He reaches for Jeremy’s hand, and brings it up to his mouth; kisses his knuckles. Jeremy closes Jean’s hand in both of his, and holds it to his chest, over his heart. “What did I ever do to deserve you, Jean Moreau?”

“You deserve the world,” Jean tells him. “I only hope that I can give it to you.”

[flayedcrank]

Christmas is soon, so naturally I’m thinking about Jeremy locked up in the Wilshire mansion with his wretched family for the holidays. He wanted so badly to make sure Jean had an amazing first Christmas with them, but now he’s just alone with the knowledge Cat and Laila are doing it instead. And he realizes he wouldn’t have been able to give Jean a proper Christmas anyway, because every Christmas for him has been miserable as well (of course, not as bad as anything Jean has experienced, so he can’t ever complain, right?). He doesn’t even know Jean is having a miserable Christmas too, because all he can do is stare at his phone with worry in hopes for a text from Jeremy, a text that will never come. Jeremy’s too busy being belittled and beaten down by his family who he wishes so desperately would be nice to him, just this once, just for the sake of the holiday. But they’re worse if anything and now he just wants to crawl out of his skin and be someone better. Be someone worthy of receiving love on Christmas. It’s the one gift he’s always asked for but never been able to have. And when he finally (finally) manages to call Jean, too far past midnight and Christmas is already over but Jean answers anyway because he’s been dying to hear from Jeremy all day, he doesn’t sound like himself at all. His voice is hoarse and it’s a horrible attempt at composure. He goes away when he goes home, and Jean can’t stand it. Jeremy was able to make sure Jean had a Christmas spent surrounded by people who love him, but Jean wasn’t able to do the same for Jeremy.