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Jules of Nature
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@dcfying
[MSG:] You know, my friends think I make these stories up…
text message starters. ( ACCEPTING )
[ OUTGOING → ]: ...
[ OUTGOING → ]: Whaat. Why would they think that?
[ OUTGOING → ]: I don’t think your stories are COMPLETE bullshizz.. I mean there’s always some truth! Somewhere.
pvnkass:
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : ‘f word it’ how cute
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : i think the ‘ f word ‘ you’re looking for is fuck. as in fuck it.
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : with leggings? who even wears leggings with a dress?
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : nevermind i know some people that do.
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : but wear it in public w/o the leggings. so you can say ‘ f word ‘ the rules.
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : by the way who the ‘ f word ‘ is this ???
[ OUTGOING → ### ]: The actual word makes me feel dirty, like a sailor.
[ OUTGOING → ### ]: It was either that or “Frig it” but then I was like.. I’m not a kindergarten teacher, you know?
[ OUTGOING → ### ]: You’re right. Barely anyone anymore, it’s frustratingly an early 2000s trend but the dress is so cute that I want to wear it. Maybe it could work as a shirt.
[ OUTGOING → ### ]: Oh my goodness, I totally skipped out on the formal greeting. I’m Jules. I typed in the wrong number but was too embarrassed to admit I’ve been texting the wrong number so I just decided to roll with it.
genivs:
@dcfying !!
📱 ⇢ ( jules ) : i.. did NOT need to know about that first part.
📱 ⇢ ( jules ) : but congrats on the second part, i guess.
📱 ⇢ ( jules ) : what’d you get? and what’s the dogs name?
[ OUTGOING → PIDGEY PIDGEY BANG BANG ]: Sorry, you’re right. That was inappropriate.
[ OUTGOING → PIDGEY PIDGEY BANG BANG ]: Thank you!!
[ OUTGOING → PIDGEY PIDGEY BANG BANG ]: With my exceptionally low budget I was only able to get a quesadilla. Then I went back and got another quesadilla but this time with sour cream... .I also got a couple cheesy roll-ups, but they’re only a dollar and they’re so tiny and cute. So it’s like.. did I REALLY even eat those cheesy roll-ups?
[ OUTGOING → PIDGEY PIDGEY BANG BANG ]: Anyway, his name is Woody, named after Sheriff Woody.. obviously. He adores long walks on the gum-stained streets, stealing food from Taco Bell bags and ripping apart stuffed animals.
pvnkass:
@dcfying !!
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : like an actual flag?
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : also which flag?
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : our flag? japans flag? hawaiis flag?
📱 ⇢ ( ??? ) : details, details.
[ OUTGOING → #### ]: Yeah, kind of. I got it from Forever 21. It’s just like a flag, like an American flag wrapped around me like a dress except it’s short.
[ OUTGOING → #### ]: I feel so free and liberated right now. I’d never usually wear something like this I usually go by the sexist Principal rules.. Like no dresses that stop above the knee. Just for my own comfortability - BUT F WORD IT!
[ OUTGOING → #### ]: I’m so hyped! I’m like a Bald flipping Eagle right now!
[ OUTGOING → #### ]: After the endangerment, obviously because I bet they were sad when they were endangered.
[ OUTGOING → ### ]: I haven’t gone out in public in it yet though.. I’ll probably just put on some leggings.
thcghtful:
@dcfying from here
{ text to: jules rules }: are you kidding? i’m a master on making people jealous { text to: jules rules }: i’m like the ultimate wingman { text to: jules rules }: i mean, you could go that route, but i really like high fives
[ OUTGOING → Oh My Josh ]: Wow.. Such an important quality. You should put that on job applications.
[ OUTGOING → Oh My Josh ]: I assure you I am a WAY BETTER wing woman. I’m like cupid but clothed. I don’t mean to brag but in my freshman year of college I set up my friend Mack with this guy from Alpha Sig.
[ OUTGOING → Oh My Josh ]: Okay, they’re not together anymore. BUT the first week of their relationship, before he cheated on her, was nothing but butterflies and heart eyes.
[ OUTGOING → Oh My Josh ]: Imagine how many high-fives you’ll receive if we convince people we met the Tatums!
[MSG:] Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
text message starters. ( ACCEPTING )
[ OUTGOING → JOSH ]: Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good idea but are you sure THAT will get him jealous?
[ OUTGOING → JOSH ]: I have a new idea!! We can tell him that we ran into Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum at a FroYo place. This is New York it’s so believable!
[ OUTGOING → JOSH ]: I picked up a couple photoshop skills from a friend, that’ll make it more believable.
[MSG:] I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
text message starters. ( ACCEPTING )
[ OUTGOING → little girl blue ]: Whhaaaaat? That sounds like an AMAZING night.
[ OUTGOING → little girl blue ]: I’d take eating Taco Bell and cuddling with my dog over sex any day.
[ OUTGOING → little girl blue ]: Sex is overrated anyway. Too much work.
@hashtaghope
[MSG:] One time I thought I was heterosexual.
text message starters. ( ACCEPTING )
[ OUTGOING → 😇 😇 ]: Oh my lanta..
[ OUTGOING → 😇 😇 ]: That must be such a horrifying memory.
[ OUTGOING → ]: If you don’t want to talk about it any further, I completely understand. I wouldn’t either.
[ OUTGOING → 😇 😇 ]: But I WAS interested in psychology at one point so I’d like to know how you feel about reliving the memory of “heterosexuality”.
@darlingangela
seedoftheprcphet:
“ please, i just need to know if you’ve seen him around. his name is BOOKER DEWITT. i’m afraid that i’ve lost him,” elizabeth said frantically to the nearest person to her. she’d gone the longest in this timeline without booker, and it was starting to freak her out. because if he wasn’t there– then the circle had been broken.
a face drenched in sorrow ; her fingers clasped around the straps of her pink book bag. the frantic aura causing her own heart to ( skip a beat ). and it wasn’t the usual work she stepped her toes in but HELPING is HELPING. even if that HELPING has nothing to do with kicking ass ‘ i - no, i haven’t seen him, i’m sorry. i can help you if you want. what kind of animal is here? ’
nicodicngelc:
Nico stumbled out of the shadows and out of an alleyway clutching a McDonald’s bag in one hand and a large coke in the other. Stopping to catch his breath on a nearby wall, visibly paler and shakier than normal. “This is why I get someone else to get it.” Nico mumbled, more to himself than anything else. Nico stared at the hand that was holding a drink and shook it slightly, making sure it wasn’t disappearing and slid himself down the wall in exhaustion.
she’s out of breath, strands of blonde hair all over the place; a sore on her neck that, if bruised in a SPECIFIC way, could easily ( pass as a hickey ). she was reasonably caught off guard when she turned the corner to see a man sat up against a wall. not afraid. no. she could handle herself as the past ten minutes proved. still, don’t get too close. ‘ hey, are you alright? ’ she yelled out with a hesitant timbre. a shade of blood visible on her hand as she pushes it in her pockets, continuing to walk TOWARDS him despite the unfamiliar situation.
bcmbiiis:
“ unless you’re here with a FABULOUS mixed drink, something stronger than advil, a grand NEW spell for traveling induced headaches, disgustingly hot, or have eliot – fuck off. ”
‘ okay, so, i think i have -- ’ a pause: counting how many things she named off in her head. ‘ two out of five of those named. i have a DISGUSTINGLY HOT cappuccino MIXED with whipped cream. the barista gave me an extra for some reason, and when i tried to give it back he explained that it was ( on the house ) but i don’t know what i’d do with an extra cappuccino, so. it’s YOURS if you want it. you look like you could use it. ’
text message starters, part 1/?
ofhotheads:
[MSG]: If you come home and see an ambulance outside, don’t worry. I’ve got it all under control.
[MSG:] One time I thought I was heterosexual.
[MSG:] I’M WEARING A FLAG.
[MSG:] Just get in the fucking blanket fort.
[MSG:] I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I pass out for 3 days.
[MSG:] I am going places. Maybe not college, but places…
[MSG:] I don’t think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
[MSG:] THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESN’T EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
[MSG:] We’re making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
[MSG:] Can you pick me up? The threeway turned into a twoway while I sit here alone in the corner…
[MSG:] Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
[MSG:] You know, my friends think I make these stories up…
[MSG:] I’m bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We’re plotting your demise.
[MSG:] My cute new neighbor has a cast on his leg. How sad is it that my first thought was, “Hey! This one can’t run away!”.
[MSG:] OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still…
[MSG:] I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
[MSG:] I just walked into the room at this party and someone shouted “dibs!”
[MSG:] He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
[MSG:] Uh, I almost got the bride to go down on me. I’m the smoothest maid of honor ever.
[MSG:] Somehow a ride to Walgreens turned into a threesome.
[MSG:] Yeah, don’t like to call her my roommate. Too cordial. I prefer to call her “the whore that was assigned to live with me.”
[MSG:] Why does every bad decision I make end up with at least 100 likes on YouTube?
[MSG:] I feel like I don’t show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time.
[MSG:] I told you not to buy lube from a tourist shop!
[MSG:] He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
[MSG:] STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE.
[MSG:] There were containers of weed in the piñata.
[MSG:] So far today I’ve had six shots of tequila, one joint, I’ve hit three parties, made out with two people and been chased by security. It is spring break.
[MSG:] OMG SOMEONE JUST CRASHED THIS LECTURE SCREAMING “TROOOOOLLLL IN THE DUNGEONS!!!” I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HELP
[MSG:] I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon.
[MSG:] Uh, I think that pic was for someone else. At least, I hope so…
[MSG:] My gaydar is infallible. Trust me.
[MSG:] I’m actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We’re just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators.
[MSG:] See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
[MSG:] Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
LOLA. | HANA. | HANNAH. | MAX.
ɪ.
i want my innocence back.
LIKE THIS for a starer from Jules!!
hiiroiisms:
[ text to granola bar. ] i would offer to help with ur college applications but i literally got into college by building a robot, so…………………….awkward
[ text to granola bar. ] maya angelou is great !! i love her works tbh. know this one?
[ text to granola bar. ] “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: No, I’ve been in college. I am in college but until I can figure out how to go back I thought it wouldn’t hurt to apply somewhere else. I’m starting to realize how pathetic I feel when I’m not burying my head in school books.
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: She’s an icon. My friend Kennedy would give super inspirational advice and quote her all of the time.
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: No... I also don’t completely understand it.
Sweet/Vicious coming to MTV this fall
hiiroiisms:
[ text from granola bar ] today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…
[ text to granola bar ] r u ok
[ text to granola bar ] that’s either really enlightening or is about to send me into a spiral of existential questioning.
@dcfying
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: Yeah. It’s just a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. I’m trying to find philosophical iterates for my college application. New York schools are extremely pretentious,
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: How about this one “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
[ OUTGOING → HIRO THE HERO]: You can never go wrong with Maya Angelou.
