Steve needs to be touched.
He's not sure how he didn't notice sooner. Didn't really realize until his skin almost itches with it. Until he notices how he will almost chase any physical affection without thinking. But by then, it already feels too late to really do anything about it.
Luckily, Eddie and Robin are both physically affectionate people. They use any opportunity to invade his personal space, any excuse to throw an arm around his shoulders or nudge his shoulder with their own. They're always in his space so much that, at some point, he starts to expect it from them.
It only makes him more painfully aware of Eddie slowly trying to pull back, to pull away. To put some distance between them.
Steve wonders if it's becoming obvious how needy he's become. He had thought he'd been a little subtle about it- he goes straight to him and Robin whenever he starts to feel that itch, that need for contact, but they all have so much trauma that no one bats an eye. But if Eddie has noticed and thinks its... weird or uncomfortable...
He doesn't say any of this to Robin when he tries to ask her what's wrong though. It's less... asking. He basically just waits for a quiet moment to wonder; "I hope I haven't done anything to upset Eddie. He's been pulling away a lot recently."
"Steve," Robin looks a little guilty. "He's fine. You haven't don't anything. Don't worry about it, ok?"
Don't worry about it? Steve frowns.
"You talk to him? It's... I mean, it's only me then, right? I haven't fucked up too bad, have I?"
Robin grabs his shoulders. "Steve. You didn't fuck anything up. He just needs some space right now. I'm the one who told him to back off a little with you. I think it's something you both need. Ok?"
"You told him to back off?"
"Yeah, and you trust me, right?"
She nods, gives him a lopsided grin and heads to the backroom to "actually do my stupid job for once!"
Steve tries not to curl in on himself. Tries not to jump to conclusions, but... why else would she tell Eddie to back off? But that means that she's noticed how weirdly clingy he is too. She must be ok with it though... right? She told Eddie to back off, she hasn't tried to do that herself. If anything, she's been a little more physically affectionate.
So he's been making Eddie uncomfortable. He has fucked it up. Robin is just trying to be nice.
The next time he sees Eddie, it's almost too much. Knowing that he's making Eddie uncomfortable won't leave his mind, making him painfully aware of what he's doing, making sure he also keeps his distance. He won't make Eddie more uncomfortable- he's a great guy, he deserves so much better than that.
But it is too much. So Steve starts to avoid him entirely. It's easier, even though it means he has to avoid group hangouts. Even though he feels lonelier than ever. It's easier than having Eddie right there.
He can tell that the others are starting to worry about him. Even Eddie, apparently, is worried. But he keeps dismissing it all. Brushes them off. Falls back on the excuses and tactics he'd use on Tommy. It's not good, he's too cruel sometimes, but it gets them to back off.
Of course, that doesn't last long.
He wasn't fully awake when he pulled open the door and, as soon as the door opens, Eddie shoves his way inside. He ignores Steves complaints, sitting on the sofas armrest, quickly settling down with his arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow at Steve, who is still hovering in the doorway.
Steve reluctantly closes the door. He doesn't sit down. "What do you want?"
"I was about to ask you the same. What the hell is wrong with you, Steve? Did something happen?"
"I'm fine. No, actually, I'm tired. Maybe you should leave so I can fix that."
Eddie narrows his eyes. "You're lying."
"So? Fucking hell, dude, I thought you were better than this! Or was that a phase? Miss being King Steve too much, huh?"
Steve flinches at the nickname. "I'm trying to deal with some shit right now. Being around you guys is only making it harder, so I'm taking some time alone to work through it. I'll be fine, I just need some time."
Steve grits his teeth. Even if he were willing to talk about it, explaining that he's trying to forget what it felt like to have Eddies hand on his shoulder is too embarrassing to admit.
"Steve, come on," Eddie tries, stands up and walks closer. "Talk to me. Please, I just want to help."
His hand is so gently on Steves arm. He just wants to curl up in the touch, even as small as it is.
He feels shame boil under his skin when his face scrunches up, hating how visibly close he is to crying. Especially with how soft Eddies voice gets, with how he pulls Steve closer so he can hug him, wrapping him up in his arms. Steve can't help but hug him back, gripping the back of his top tight, shaking.
"It's ok, you're ok, I've got you," Eddie is saying. He tucks his face into Steves shoulder, gently rocking them. "Whatever it is, you don't need to be alone, ok? I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Steve finally sobs. He hates how his voice cracks.
"You don't make me uncomfortable. You've never made me feel uncomfortable, I promise. I don't think you could if you tried, sweetheart."
"But Robin- she told you to back off?"
"Yeah, but that- that's nothing to do with you, ok? You didn't do anything wrong. That wasn't your fault."
He waits, but Steve doesn't respond. If anything, he feels more tense.
"Ok, Steve, come on, hey." Eddie gently pushes Steve away, holds him by his shoulders so he has to look at him. "That wasn't your fault."
"So why were you pulling away?"
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Robin didn't want me stressing myself out, worrying all the time."
"Why would I be uncomfortable?"
"Yeah? I do listen when you talk, man, I don't need a reminder."
"No, that-" Eddie snorts, shaking his head. "I'm gay and you're pretty. And nice. And you're always curling up on me like a fucking cat. Did you really not realize?"
"Oh." Steve blinks. He isn't sure what he's feeling, but it definitely isn't negative. "Really? Me?"
"Yeah, Stevie, you. I thought you'd noticed. I stare at your lips a lot. Even the kids noticed. Like I said, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. It's one thing to be ok with a dude being gay, it's another for that dude to be crushing on you. I get it if you don't feel comfortable with any of that shit."
"No, it... it's not making me feel uncomfortable."
"Ok. That's good? Right? How is it making you feel?"
Steve fiddles with the hem of his top, face heating up. "Uh. Nice, I guess? I don't know. But not, like, bad."
"Nice as in... it's nice to feel wanted?" Eddie glances down to his lips- this time, Steve notices.
"No, um... I don't know. I didn't really think you'd ever want to look at me like that. It's nice." Steve shifts, hesitating. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing, but he really wants to admit it... "I, uh... I think I want you to look at me like that."
"Steve, please, you need to elaborate. I don't want to read this wrong. Why do you want me to look at you like that?"
Eddie steps a little closer, gently reaching out to hold his hand. "Steve. Why do you want me to look at you like that?"
"Because that's how I look at you," Steve whispers. The thought is a little shocking, even to him- but it's true. "Oh."
Eddies thumb rubs a little circle on the back of his hand. It's nice, comforting. "Steve, I'm gonna kiss you now. Is that ok?"
"Yeah. Yeah, yes, that's ok, please."
