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#houseofbecausefuckyou

Here we go people.... SUPER SATURDAY!

don’t do it Mother Nature...

#gimmeyourOface made some bold predictions...

Adrienne will be extra angry because her team hates fun...

Many will be drunk...

Playoff Predictions

Season results:

#gimmeyourOface: 20

#dontcallmedaddy:17

Playoffs

#gimmeyourOface

Super saturday is upon us. Can you taste the excitement, or just the mimosas and morning beers flowing. Will 'Shame defend their title? Will VRB take back the crown? Can Steel Reserve pull off the near impossible dual flip cup and kickball championship? Will their be a Cinderella dancing upon us? The only known prediction is best said by Ollie Williams, Family guy's weather man "It's gonna rain"

Play-in games: 8) I'll cut vs 9) BAE: the always tough 8 v 9 matchup might turn out to be a blowout. 8 seed holds out. I'll cut a pitch over Bae 7)Mb2o vs 10) Reit: Will this game be the first forfeit? That's my guess. But will go with the bounce7)Mb2o over 10) Reit Quarterfinals:1) 'Shame vs 8) cut: Yup, no need for semantics here, 'Shame will cruise 1) 'Shame over 8) cut 4)WTR vs 5)BB: BB made a hell of a run to end the season in the 5th spot but think their streak will end. WTR will finally start playing for real and get the W4)WTR over 5)BB 2)VRB vs 7)Mb2o: Another blowout, as long as VRB has 11 people show up. 2)VRB over 7)Mb2o 3)SR vs 6)COCKS: This might be the most entertaining game since COCKS had their scheduling strategy blow up in their face. Think the flip cup champs will move on though. 3)SR over 6)COCKS

Semifinals:

1)shame vs 4) WTR: UPSET alert, think we will have a first upset and send 'Shame to the cigars. 4)WTR over 1)'Shame

2)VRB vs 3)SR: This game will find VRB hitting their stride. Not sure if SR have the guns to compete. Only mother nature might be able to help them in this game2)VRB over 3)SR

Championship: 2) VRB vs 4)WTR: You heard it here first. Mother Nature will win. After the entire season of blue skies and no rain...we will get all the rain. Think the weather will make an impact in at least 2-3 plays. However, I believe the jug of VRB will be raised in victory

VRB CHAMPS

COCKs: Week 9? Recap

JR:Since Nick is busting my balls to write SOMETHING, you’re welcome.

Martin:

Nick:

JR:

Meghan:

Parke:

Good luck to you all and see you hopefully on Sunday when it stops raining since Nick jinxed us from having good weather all season.

WAKA Shame: Week 9? Recap

First off... CONGRATS to Steel Reserve for winning flip cup. Glad you guys can win at something.

I honestly don’t remember who we played last week? Black team? Anyways we started off by sipping on some of VRB’s magic punch. Shoutout to Rachel and Kurt that was DELICIOUS

69 of us kicked home runs... and Black was like

Sara aka #babydragon demolished a girl much larger than her at 2nd base.

I think we crushed the bar... I don’t remember. I blame Roy.

Flip cup week... yawn

Nick made us start late because he didn’t have enough girls

We won. Then lost to Steel Reserve. No shocker there.

See you bitches at Playoffs.

WFE

Steel Reserve: Week 9? Recap

Wednesday night...Steel Reserve lined up at the flip cup table ready for action.

Alex got nervous because Michelle's practice flips were pretty bad

But we all got it together for the games: Nicole and Jenny were on point

Mike and Miguel flipped like champs

We played REIT My Lips first, Michelle won a flip off, everyone was impressed.

Then we played WAKA Shame. They won the first round and thought they had it in the bag.

Steel Reserve went 5-0 the rest of the game.

Then it was time for the finals...VERSUS WAKA TEXAS RANGER.

But we crushed them 5-1 HAHAHAHA

And then we celebrated all night long

CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!

Boozy Ballers :Week 9? Recap

Confessions of a BoozyBaller – I guess this was really the last week FML

So sorry readers, I didn’t realize there was another week of reading, throwing shade and just plain ole calling peeps out, so this is going to be quick, short, and sweet:

Last week of actual kickball was awesome, I actually refed for the first time (big ups to the third base ref!!) and couldn’t stop laughing…the intensity between the Red and Grey team…eeesh

needless to say Red team kicked butt, there was a lot of yelling at girl friends for messing up on plays (cough cough)

but such is life…there is always one loser in life and today Grey team…that was you…#sorrynotsorry

on to our game…this week we were celebrating a proud Dad to be….so the team gathered in numbers, dressed in pink and celebrated Jerome and his soon to be lil boozyballer kickball girl….CONGRATS poppa. We celebrated him the only way we know how, pizza, beer, shots, and more beer….eep

needless to say we were all a lil too drunk when the actual game started, hence the 3-0 lead the blue team took on us…JEEBUS, we got our shit in gear and came back to win #shocker

take off to the bar, more shit show shenanigans, we dominate the flip cup table, we dominate the dance floor, and well we just dominate – can anyone tell I want to be dominated :)

we end the season unchallenged in flip cup bc this is truly where we dominate…fast forward to last wed and jesus I don’t know what happened, but we took 3rd place in the flip cup tourney…yeah yeah, suck it peanut gallery

but since we are bringing up wed…I need to clear some shit up

you my friend who is on the yellow team who likes to talk more shit than a sassy bitch, who has the crazy eyes as seen on orange is the new black and who’s voice is as shrill as nails on a chalk board….

you may have won on the table (which by the way my whole team was drunk as shit, not an excuse just a fact)….not I didn’t say y’all bc your team is actually cool, who knows WTF happened with you, but you suck at life, SO

see everyone at the open bar on sat….keep safe, wrap it up, and be promiscuous bitches haha

#HBIC

VRB: Week 9 Recap

So we played COCKs 2.5. Nick has been telling me all season how GOOD they are

He even sent me a bunch of memes via gmail (I don’t think he knows what gifs are yet)

We beat them pretty easily.They only scored two because DM sucks at pitching. Poor Nick.

AND THEN MY TEAM SHUT DOWN THE BAR! LOVEEEEEE you guys

Now, let’s see how correct I was on my predictions from Week 2

Adults Kicking Balls: Name change occurred. Still not any more interesting (More Bounce to the Ounce). I thought you guys might be up there with BB in skillz, but I was unequivocally wrong, as most of us beat you 19-0. Total season Runs Against: 89.

BAE Ballistic Destroyers: Got mad at Steel Reserve after getting six scored on them first inning. I said bunt or perish, but I don’t think you listened.

Boozy Ballers: Prediction: "BB could be the Conqueror of Scrub Teams.” Totally right about this one. BB is in 5th place but also beat COCKs 2.5 head to head, so GOOD FOR YOU GUYS! Plus JR is the best HBIC.

C.O.C.K.S. 2.5: Predictions: 1. Girls can be good at kickball, Nick, stop your whining and do some calf raises. 2. VRB has more girls and we’ll still own COCKs. Yup and yup. Good job tying SR and WS, I think they were probably too drunk to care, or Will ran the team that week (respectively).

I’ll Cut a Pitch (pink): Pink teams are either assholes or horribly unathletic. It’s a known fact. So which one are you gonna be? Sitting comfortably in eight place with 56 runs against... still fewer than More Bounce.

Steel Reserve: We’ve always longed for a Steel Reserve VRB Championship, let’s make it happen this year, kids! If it involves throwing a game or two, so be it. Not happening as we’re on the same side of the bracket. I’m glad Alex got his lineup together because witnessing SR get owned by Shame was horrific.

VRB: Our Cooler of Death was fantastic as usual, our bar attendance was an abysmal failure.

Vornado Charles Smith: repping your company in a drunken and debauched kickball league may not be the smartest move. To the kid in jeans - buy some athletic shorts, for the love of God. I’ll even allow sweatpants. They changed their name to REIT my Lips. Le sigh. The kid in jeans finally got some shorts, thank God. 71 runs against, last place, no wins. Sad.

Waka Shame: Our mortal enemies on the field. Most of you are tolerable. I won’t mention names. Ever since I fell in love with Meghan I can’t hate all of you, but I can barely live with these feelings. I forgot how annoying Angry Dave and Jonathan are, so I take back the MOST and change it to some.

Waka Texas Ranger: Apparently this is Martin’s team, so they’ll be on the losing end of the veteran teams. They may get shoved into the Scrub Team category if they live up to expectations. Only time will tell, or COCKs’ impotence may change WTR’s fate. Dead on with this one. COCKS nicely lost to them 6-5, so WTR got 4th out of the good teams. If Martin learns how to run his team they may show up for playoffs.

It’s been a pleasure getting to know some of you, but my team is too diva-rific/old so I’m outta here!

#houseofbecausefuckyou

So apparently the GMOT went to SHIT while I was unavailable to help with any of it. Predictions now suck. There is no shit talking. What’s even the point?

#HBIC has been MIA also. Then comes back with the world’s longest GMOT. NO ONE HAS TIME FOR ALL THAT FLUFF JR!

Someone tried to submit a super racist GMOT but were too blonde to even realize it was super racist.

BUT DJ MARVVVVV IS BACK! Also it’s my last week of Wednesday DC Kickball ever... soooooo who’s ready for some shots??

Lines...

(The laziness of this section is worse every week)

Steel reserve vs BAE, SR -6 More bounce.vs waka shame, waka shame -7 Vrb vs cocks, Vrb -3 I'll cut vs WTR, wtr -5 Boozy vs ReIT , boozy -4

#dontcallmedaddy

Steel reserve vs BAE, SR -6

Steel Reserve

More bounce.vs waka shame, waka shame -7

Waka Shame

Vrb vs cocks, Vrb -3

VRB

I'll cut vs WTR, wtr -5

WTR

Boozy vs ReIT , boozy -4

Boozy

#gimmeyourOface

Steel reserve vs BAE, SR -6

SR-6 More bounce.vs waka shame, waka shame -7

waka shame -7 Vrb vs cocks, Vrb -3

vrb-3 I'll cut vs WTR, wtr -5

wtr-5

Boozy vs ReIT , boozy -4

boozy-4

WAKA Shame: Week 8 Recap

Last week we played I'll Cut A Pitch and were ready to go hard after we tied in our last game

The game was a blood bath. Total Waka Shame domination.

Sara O. had the unfortunate luck of kicking before Pdunc aka she had to sprint around the bases so he wouldn't pass her when he kicked his home run.

We finished our beer on the mall in the beautiful weather before it was on to the bar, just like old times.

Of course the DoL was packed with USS losers who tried to sass us at the flip cup table, but we took care of it.

And Marvin was back in the DJ booth!

We also won our flip cup game. Everyone was clutch, especially AJ.

Time to ball out for Meghan's last kickball week!

Steel Reserve: Week 8 Recap

Last week Ryan pitched a perfect game. He thought he was really cool afterwards

We've learned a lot of things this season of kickball: Alex O. can fly

and Parke has ballerina moves

Nicole is bad at dodging the ball

But good at flipping the cup

Michelle prefers to let other outfielders take care of the ball

Ryan took most of our DC Fireworks virginities

Ladies love King Mike

Also, Mike has issues finding the DoL

USS players have no place at our flip cup tables.

Fireball has no place in my life on a weeknight

And nothing is better than your (or someone elses!?) bed after a night in the DoL

COCKs: Week 8 Recap

I am seriously struggling for words to describe what happened on the field.

Nick for whatever god forsaken reason decided that we should play all girl infields for our game.

On top of this horrible decision, the rules were also not agreed upon until the start of the game. These agreed upon rules were then changed once we went down by five runs (Nick).

After this loss we also ended up going from 3rd to 5th in the standings

Adam, great job taking that walk from a female pitcher

To the guy that kicked after Adam and fouled out

I have nothing else to say about the game.

This week’s shout out goes to Jon C. for having to ref this shit show of a game and put up with the constant rule changes.

WAKA Texas Ranger: Week 8 Recap

In honor of Stacy's birthday and to shake things up we decided to play an all girl infield game against COCKS. This WAS a great plan...

We score 5 runs in the first inning.

Red socks on COCKS (that's right, we rhyme) was running around screaming like an angry elf.

I think we played a total of 4 innings? Anyhow, in between innings the score became 6-4, us. Despite us wanting to quit (as it was 845 and my meter had run out - I didn't get a ticket btw, I know you were all concerned), in the last inning I heard Nick's gf (herein "GF") talking to their catcher girl saying how they'd both have to score in order to tie the game and they were pretty pumped. Rally cap pumped.

They get on first and second. Someone got out and catcher girl scored so now it's 6-5, 1 out and GF is on 3rd. Nick comes up to kick. Nick thinks strategically and kicks the ball to....Pat

GF starts to run from 3rd home. Good life choice here. Pat makes a super human throw to Mikaela

GF slides and BOOM! Eat ball

Because O'Briens like to peg people

http://i.imgur.com/yxtCESd.gifv

(it won’t insert the actual gif :()

Then Mikaela and Pat ran towards each other, she jumped into his arms and they made out hardcore. Or something......

In summary, we have better couples on our team. Like: Pat and Mikaela

Martin and Stacy

Drew and Gloria

sorry its so late, im still drunk from last night: Week 8 Recap

Confessions of a BoozyBaller – Last week Beetches

First let me apologize as no submission was sent in last week…this is what happens when I’m chillin at the beach getting twisted and not playin kickball…sorry faithful readers, that won’t happen again

It’s so easy to throw shade, you have angry elfs, horrible refs, crying honeybooboos, etc….o well, let the fun begin. For those that come at me or my team

For the newbies out there, you have been playing for the better part of 9 weeks, keep in mind that only assholes slide headfirst into first base repeatedly when there is no need to slide (cough cough purple team)

also, if you see a giant bear running on a close play to second, small women may need to not apply for that gig….and their beloved boyfriend need not be such dicks and try and start something they can’t finish…

I hope everyone else isn’t dealing with these shenanigans, if so we should set up some type of drinking game by which the offenders buy the offended copious amounts of liquor haha

Also, forgot to throw out there that this past weekend was PRIDE!!!

And to the “Str8” players who I saw shakin it and grinding, I won’t tell hehehe

anyways…back to the game…we won, we are awesome, yay us

Get to the bar and meet up with our friendly USS kickballers, love your Men and Women hehehe

But y’all are HORRIBLE at flipcup, but your sexy looks make up for it

we proceed to get drunk, duh, because that’s what we do and guess what there was a special guest bartender….my love CORSO….yay, needless to say shots were had, pitchers were drank and I blacked out a little

We proceed to flip cup and like a boss, we kill it…Gorilla Style Flipcup WINS

we are the champs, we dominate per usual, womp womp can anyone defeat us hahaha

Proceed to get a lil more drunk and who doesn’t enjoy a bathroom selfie

O yeah, and Ginny killed it at King of the Hill knocking out all other Waka and USS flip cup masters…to you Ginny, our kickball MVP, you are AMAZEBALLS and

can’t wait to see y’all sexy bitches at the final kickball game…be on the lookout for some sexy pink motherfcukers and remember, if you aren’t on my team