The Devil's In Me

Independent Matthew Murdock written by Jessie est. 30/09/15

[lavenderwolfisms]

something real;

@dcviladvocate

Lavender wanted to scream as she left. Wanted to let the world know that she was tired and she was hurting, and she was damn tired of hurting. Life as a wolf had never been easy, and then it finally was and she didn’t get to keep it. She’d lived through war, seeing everyone she loved dead, having her world ripped to shreds. Maybe she just wasn’t meant to be happy. There was no escape for her, so she wouldn’t try anymore.

As soon as she left the building she could smell them. Their violence and hate rolling off in waves. But they were too close, this couldn’t happen now, not here. So she kept walking and…they were right fuckers. Pulling her back so she had no choice but to fight. With claws extended and eyes glowing, Lavender lets out a mournful howl. 

[dcviladvocate-blog]

Matt woke up gasping, the sound of a howl in his ears. He tried to focus, taking catalog of everything around him. No one was in the apartment, he hadn’t been broken into, so why did something feel so -

No one was in the apartment. No one. 

He leaped out of the bed, putting on the suit and running out the door. He paused in the hallway, head tilted as he tried to hear over the sound of his own heart beat. He could smell her but something was off - it was that same hint of wolf that pervaded every movement she made but it was so much stronger. Matt ran down the stairs of his flat and out into the night, panting before he even had the chance to fight.

[dcviladvocate-blog]

okay !! i’m about to take codeine which makes me very very drowsy so i can make zero promises to do anything from now on but like for a starter? most likely posted tomorrow.

[lavenderwolfisms]

“Yeah, I’ll try.” Or I’ll let myself walk right into whatever trap they have for me, she adds silently. “You be careful, too. Hell’s Kitchen needs you.” I need you. Another silent thought she can’t bear to voice before she leaves.

[dcviladvocate-blog]

He could hear the resignation in her voice and he reached out, fingers curling around her elbow, light enough to be broken. “Please, Lavender,” he said gently. “I mean it.”

[lavenderwolfisms]

“Matt, I-” Cutting herself off, Lavender takes a small step forward and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek, nose skimming along his jaw just so she never forgets his scent. “I’m sorry,” she whispers before pulling away and opening the door. Now she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to escape, if she really want to spend the rest of her life running. Maybe it would be better if they caught her, put the poor wolf out of her misery.

[dcviladvocate-blog]

His eyes closed as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, hands curling to keep from catching onto her and holding her tight, never letting her go. “I -” he began, but then stopped as she opened the door. He swallowed, waiting. “Be careful.”

[gunpowderbonesarchived-blog]

“No, there won’t be any. If there were then it would end up spilled on important paperwork. I’m sorry you’ve a sensitivity.” Coming over, Jaymes gently bumps his arm with hers. “Would you like my guidance to the office?”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

He nodded, fingertips brushing over her arm. “Please,” he said quietly, head tilting. “How long have you been in New York?” Of course it was obvious to anyone that Jaymes Bond wasn’t from Hell’s Kitchen, wasn’t even from America. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

[lavenderwolfisms]

“It’s complicated.” It’s hell. Oddly enough coming to Hell’s Kitchen was the first time she hadn’t felt like she was in hell. A lot of that was thanks to the man standing in front of her now, hands warm on her arms and trying to help. “You can’t help me with this because this is goodbye.”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

She was lying about why she was leaving but that didn’t stop her from leaving. He couldn’t stop her from leaving. Matt took a step back, shoulder pressed against the wall as he let go of her. “Fine,” he murmured. “Good bye, then.”

[uvlxn]

[gunpowderbonesarchived-blog]

“Oh.” Well that didn’t sound much better. Though she kept and easy calm as she stood and approached. “Well if you’d like to join me in my office it’ll be more comfortable a place for discussions.”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

“Ah, sorry,” he ducked his head, lips twitching. “Does your office have as many bottles of open paint as this room does?” He doubted it but he also hadn’t been around this many fumes in an enclosed area in a long time. New York had it’s poisons, but at least it was open. “I’m, ah, a bit sensitive to that sort of thing.”

[lavenderwolfisms]

An explanation would involve more lying. Or telling him impossible truths. Either one was not a good option. “Please, Matt, I can’t do that. I just don’t love you so I’m leaving.” That lie felt like it knocked the air from her lungs and even though she knew he couldn’t see her, Lavender still hung her head in shame. “It’s better this way.” The only honest thing to come out of her mouth all night.

[dcviladvocate-blog]

He shook his head, reaching to slide his hands over her arms. Her heart rate was slightly elevated, breath catching on ‘I don’t love you’. It still stung, even if he knew she was lying. At least, he thought he did. “Lavender, tell me the truth. Are you in trouble? I can help you, you know I can.”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

          “Do   you     believe       in          the          devil?”

[gunpowderbonesarchived-blog]

Turning around she sees what he means right away. A blind man in an art studio, not exactly normal. Her natural assumption was that she was in for a fight which she wasn’t in the mood for. Though she wouldn’t start anything without provocation. Wiping the wet paint from her hands and onto her jeans, she comes over cautiously. “What brings you in here then?”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

Matt tilted his head, catching the scent of wet paint, new and fresh, different from the paint of the art in the room. He wouldn’t be able to stay in here for much longer, so he made it quick. “A client of mine,” he started, fingers curling around his cane. “Ah, I should probably start that over. I’m a defense attorney. I’m attempting to find evidence of a crime. It’s brought me here.”

[lavenderwolfisms]

love in the dark;

@dcviladvocate

Lavender had long since forgotten what home felt like. what it even looked like really. She’d found it briefly in forests and packs here and there. But it wasn’t until she landed herself in Hell’s Kitchen that she remembered. Home was warm. It smelled like Matthew. The blood matted in his hair, the barely scented soap he used, his apartment. It sounded like the tapping of a cane and his laughter. Even though he still didn’t know what she was, he had every other part of her, even the ugly ones. Parts of her that still mourned for her fallen friends in a battle she could never quite explain though muggles had plenty of battles of their own. The parts that thought she was nothing but a monster.

That’s why she had to do this. Tell this horrible lie. Maybe it would be better because she still hadn’t really told him how she felt in the first place. All she knew was that hunters were coming for her. The very reason she’d left England in the first place. They were here and they were ruthless. So Lavender knew she had to leave. “I’m not coming back.” She says softly while walking towards the door.

[dcviladvocate-blog]

None of it made any sense. They’d built this balance, keeping secrets while giving up little bits of their hearts and souls to each other. They weren’t perfect, but they were close enough to it. Matt knew Lavender wasn’t being completely honest with him - not exactly that. They both had secrets. He didn’t want to tell her about the quiet nights stitching up his father blind, about how it was his fault he was dead. She didn’t need that pain, he could live with it on his own. 

It still didn’t make sense. Matt moved to block the way to the door, arm braced against the frame. “Why?” he asked, not quite touching her with his free hand but coming close. “Tell me why, Lavender. At least give me the courtesy of an explanation.”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

i’m the worst.

[gunpowderbonesarchived-blog]

Trouble;

@dcviladvocate

Bond refused to admit that she was enjoying this mission more than most. She’d been here almost a month now and it was surprisingly nice. Her flat was bright, the painting was fun, something she hadn’t done in years, and some part of her wanted to get lost in it. To leave her old life behind. But she knew she’d get bored soon enough. When the small bell chimed softly above the door of her studio, she didn’t bother to look up. “If you’re looking to have something commissioned you’ll have to wait for Eloise to get back, I don’t do commissions.”

[dcviladvocate-blog]

There was something not quite connecting between Matt’s client and the crime itself. It felt like a frame but how does one frame a stranger? His search through a complicated web had finally brought him here - to a little studio right in the center of Hell’s Kitchen. “Actually, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be very good at that bit. I have a problem . . . understanding art, you see.”

[llynirr-deactivated20170615]

[daredevilfanatics]

Daredevil Merchandise: http://bit.ly/1OA0sMY

[jessicajones616]

21 / ??? Daredevil screencaps