This is a rather sad time for many Kpop fans. After all, recently a lot of Kpop idols found themselves harmed, many physically. However, there are also those who are suffering from a much deeper wound, one that can’t heal with the use of cream and simple rest. One of those suffers is none other than Bang Yongguk, the leader of BAP.
Bang Yongguk has been diagnosed with panic disorder and allegedly suffers from depression. Infact, the allegedly has been suffering from depression for quite some time now.
Ironic isn’t it…. how in so many gifs he looks so happy when in reality there are so many demons plaguing his mind on a daily basis.
The pressure of being a leader…
Of being a producer/ writer…
knowing that your songs have all the power to make or break it…
Knowing that your songs put to risk the careers of 5 other individuals as well as the whole company.
All there pressures and probably more than what we know of have been piling up in Yongguk;s head, cementing their place in it, all while his mental health issues were most probably ignore. After all, is the company did not properly pay them, I doubt that they would allow Yongguk to take a breath until he broke, which he did.
Interesting how we could always see a darker side to Yongguk, yet nothing seemed to be done about it until now.
The above is a quote from his solo song AM 4:44 released in 2015. Worrying right? Well, it wasn’t worrying enough for some people who seemed to just say shrug it off and go on!
He ‘wants to leave’… the implication of where he wants too leave to though was always quite a horrible thought.
Yet, despite all of his troubles, despite being as broken as he is, he never failed to give a helping hand. He did not just suffer, but did and still does, in silence, keeping up a mask, just so that he can hopefully help others.
And although I am forever grateful to his kindness and thoughtfulness, I truly hope he knows that it is okay to be selfish.
That its okay to put your health in front of others.
That its okay to suffer with our keeping a face.
Bang Yongguk is not perfect. He is just as flawed, as fragile as any of us are.
The difference here, is that Bang Yongguk is pressured by society and by his work to always act fine so that his work does not take a hit. He is someone who lives in the public eye and can get criticised for absolute anything.
But I’m happy that he is finally getting help.
I really hope that the help he gets is proper.
I truly hope that after his battle, he does not end up as a stigmatised member of society.
I truly hope that he truly has people who will always support him, whether it is his parents, members, twin or any other person.
Please Bang Yongguk, get better.
Please take all the time you need.
I’m sure that BABY’s would much rather prefer to see a comeback with all 6 healthy, than if one to more of the members suffering and breaking because of our human greed.
Real BABYs waited before and we can certainly wait more.
Real BABYs will wait for as long as needed, because health is what matters. Not a comeback, not an epic MV but for all to be as healthy as possible.
Real BABYs will love you and support you. We promise.
Because Bang Yongguk is for many:
a reason to go forward, despite what our own little ‘haters’ say…
someone who gives us courage during bad days…
We don’t need you pat on the back to feel better Yongguk… No, we need you to embrace the journey of recovery not for us but for you. We need you to get better. To start healing.
We love you Bang Yongguk! And we will never stop!