Tumbling Neurons @deabellaremente - Tumblr Blog

Well aren't I in fine shape Anxiety, depression, colitis, arrhythmia, diverticuli, depersonalization disorder feat. multiple personalities, sleep apnea, and living with someone who meets 8/10 verbal abuse markers *throws sarcasm party*

so PAP smears are horrifying for me personally and I feel like I may be sick but I "tolerated it very well" so there's that I guess??

cassieventura

I also dreamed Sierra was getting into My Little Pony and she had 10" plushies of Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and a silver one?? uwu I love Rainbow Dash

apexedanarchy

And I’ve always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable d i s t a n c e.

And up until now

I have sworn to myself

That I’m content with

l o n e l i n e s s. [Because none of it was ever worth the risk.]

#Relevant #also really good song

the-beauty-of-words-blog

Been a while since I posted here. I had a nightmare that Rach killed herself. Been thinking of her a lot lately, but that was just cruel of my subconscious to do that. I thought I was past that fear but it seems I'm not. Just the opposite. I tend to worry about her and Toni on an intermittent basis, which makes sense because I thought I was very close to them and then it ended so messily and shredded me up to the point it still comes up in therapy on a fairly regular basis. And I thought maybe I was grey-aromantic--Rach being my exception. So you see, then, why a nightmare like that would hurt so deeply. In my dream, I heard it from my sister, who mentioned it in the form of "Rach...isn't." I was angry. Heartbroken. I felt like I had never made a difference. But then, even in my dreams, I began analyzing, thinking that it had simply been her down periods getting too much (no such thing as simply). But then I woke up and it still hurts and it shouldn't since it's been more than a year and I hate emotions. And to top it all off, my brain is tormenting me with "last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away." Which fits all too well, especially since I haven't let myself get that close to anyone since that mangled mess (that I didn't know before). "This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special..." I hope she's okay but I was asked never to talk to her again and I will respect her wishes.

that moment when your alter suggests to the therapist that both he and you are possibly a sociopath and so the therapist gets the diagnostic book and aforementioned alter starts laughing about how all but one of those criteria fit and the other fits him in addition

AveR?Y

I've had this weird semi-dissociation all day today and not even a Monster can shake it. I can't think of words, I feel half-asleep. I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday, but that's not usually a problem...

I suppose I should go make a sandwich or something to cope.

gingercatsneeze

The Winged Man’s Burden | Winglock

#this speaks to me on an emotional level #and that's not facetiousness #same

oh and I think I have a half-morph-alter (like Creature) who has wings because sometimes I sort of feel themish

either that or it's part of my mental construct of myself idk, it usually only happens when I'm listening to the Voltaire album Almost Human, want to escape, or am in vengeful!mode

notgunnatakeitanymore-deactivat

Pretty sure Creature's a leftie. And he wants to draw oops

oh fantastic, didn't really need to remember that incident first thing in the morning, but at least it's helped with RP

yoshi-fl

泣き虫シャーロック

so I've been wanting a dick again so I can stick it out my pants

which is silly because why would I stick a dick through pants

but still

I mourn the dickishlessness that is me on occasion and it's one of those occasions

My head is really not in a good place today. It was a danger afternoon earlier and laziness stopped me getting my sister's painkillers.

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