[dykestache]

theatre final - storytelling + shadow/projection puppetry. poem and art by me 👼🏻💒🏳️‍⚧️💌 most vulnerable yet rewarding art i’ve ever shared/recited in front of an audience :•)

[dykestache]

merry christmas i am having too much fun pulling prints rn 🫶🎣

[deadbug]

intro metals final project - tattoo brooch ❤️‍🔥⚒️ etched nu-gold locket with copper and nickel accents. inspired by my three of swords tattoo (+ the reverse imagery meaning), narcotics anonymous, recovery-fueled faith, and a newfound obsession with mixed metals. thanks for lookin :-)

[deadbug]

first project for my intro metals class, a sterling silver ring. designed, sawed, formed, soldered, and finished by hand.

[deadbug]

a fun lil self portrait scribble 🧟‍♂️🎃🔩

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angel of transsexualism and love 🏳️‍⚧️👼

[deadbug]

musings about hysto and parents

[BEGIN POEM ID]

waiting for the other shoe to drop // florence b.

a 41 year old stranger on reddit tells me that she is excited for me and that i will do just fine. i read her words and try to imagine them in my mother's voice. all i can hear is the familiar quiet hum my phone fills the silence with when i call and we run out of things to talk about too soon.

a week before i go under the knife my mother decides it is not her responsibility to be there for me and the three hour drive to the hospital is dumped onto my father's shoulders. he doesn't know how to talk to me about the procedure so he tells me about his outdoorsman buddies instead. i've watched him slide a knife through the bloody belly of a fish but he cannot fathom me in its place.

i am almost 22 yet i feel reduced to my small and sensitive 5 year old self. i let myself cry like a child grieving the maternal comfort i have always sought and never been awarded. i let myself get angry that my mother treats affection and support as handouts that only enable me to be too soft and reliant on others. i lay in bed and hold myself tightly because there is nobody else who will.

i wonder if my mother would take me seriously if i tried to kill myself again or if she still secretly believes suicide to be a selfish cry for help. i wonder what more i have to do to myself in order to illicit even an ounce of empathy from someone meant to provide endless and unconditional love.

in a week i will be on a cold metal table three hours away from home and pitted like a cherry. i feel scared and small so my 5 year old self reaches for the naive perception of safety and warmth from my mother. instead i am met with a lecture on my apparent inability to be self-sufficient. i look forward to the coming moment when my guts will spill and there is nothing but the viscera and sterile silence.

[END POEM ID]

[dykestache]

theatre final - storytelling + shadow/projection puppetry. poem and art by me 👼🏻💒🏳️‍⚧️💌 most vulnerable yet rewarding art i’ve ever shared/recited in front of an audience :•)

[dykestache]

lil zine i made for theatre class homework, a response to an excerpt of “art and fear” by david bayles+ted orland

[deadbug]

“twelve steps”

final project for cultivating creative expression through visual arts

highlighting my journey through sobriety and a self-guided 12-step NA program. each of the 480 tick marks represent one day i’ve gone up until today (11/29/2021) without opiates. the shoes have the 12 principles of narcotics anonymous written on them as well.

[dykestache]

my fucked up little newborn son #dad

[deadbug]

video project: process of making the eraserhead baby

[deadbug]

wip of a self portrait project for class. i have to use color but i’m not super comfy w using color for pieces w value so i might jus selectively use it and leave what i have shaded already in grayscale ;-__-

[deadbug]

this is where i’m stopping for tonight it is 3am and my wrist hurts sooo bad and i have vertigo 🤧

[dykestache]

just spent an hour in my apartment parking lot in the wind and rain making this for a project and my neighbors kept coming outside…being an art major is so embarrassing.…Look Away

[deadbug]

wip of a self portrait project for class. i have to use color but i’m not super comfy w using color for pieces w value so i might jus selectively use it and leave what i have shaded already in grayscale ;-__-

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guillermo got the shirt for him

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petyr doodle and a sketchbook prompt 🧛🏻‍♂️🥾