Wait. So, you're telling me you want to:
Stop me at the front door before we go out to make sure I have a dry diaper on?
Carry my diaper bag everywhere we go?
Sneak some of your favorite diapers from my stash to your house for when I come over to visit, and make me sleep in just a diaper during sleepovers so you can "keep an eye on things?"
Give me butt pat's randomly throughout the day and pretend like you're not checking me?
Leave one of my diapers in the pouch of your car seat and "forget" about it when you take me and your friends out for drinks?
Ask me if I need a change exactly when I need one, but dont tell me how you knew I needed one?
Set up an elaborate plan where you'll just absolutely HAVE to change me at your parents' Christmas party because I accidentally drank too much of the punch you were constantly passing my way?
Find any reason on earth to bring up anything about me wearing and needing diapers and how involved you are in that while i'm trying really hard to talk about normal big boy life?
Ask me "uh huh. And who wears the diapers in this house?" Anytime you want to win an argument?
Treat me like a toddler because you think it's adorable how I react?
Ask me, "Does that fit over your diapers okay, buddy?" When you take me shopping for clothes?
Ask me if I'm wet in a public situation loud enough for me to hear it, but just quiet enough for everyone else to miss it?
Watch me waddle all over town, but never say that it's obvious?
Say, "Are you happy to see me, or is that just your wet diaper?" When you get handsy?
Call me your "Little Potty Pants Goober." Whenever you feel like it?
Change me during an adventure, like on a hike, or on a climbing trip where you take your sweet time untaping my old diaper, cleaning me up, rubbing butt paste on my booty and privates, unfolding and taping on the new diaper just to make me nervous and squirmy?
Order restocks of the diapers you think I look cutest in, even if it means I'll only have baby-ish diapers to wear to work and everywhere else I go? And mention that you set up an auto order for them so I'll have no choice but to wear them?
Make me a changing schedule that has been formed so perfectly that you'll be the only one changing my diapers from now on? And adding the additional rule that I'll be in trouble if I try to do it myself?
Make me keep my diapers on during every "special feel good time" so I dont have any accidents on the bed?
Notice the bulk of my diapers through my clothes, but denying that anyone can tell?
Drive me everywhere, and give me constant checks throughout the car ride?
Help me pack my suitcase full of diapers for a vacation, but insist that you carry some extra diapers in your carry-on just in case I'll need a change on the way there?
Keep it a secret that you're taking me to a nude beach after you tape me into the most childish diaper I own?
Ask the waiter for a kids' menu "for the big boy here" so you can send me straight to little space just because you think it's cute?
Wake up before I do to sneakily give my nighttime diaper a check so you know if I'll need a change right away or not?
Secretly convert the guest bedroom into a nursery while I'm on a business trip so you can surprise me with my new way of life when I get back?
Give me a strict bedtime that results in an 8+ hour night sleep so that you can guarantee super soaked nighttime diapers because you think it's adorable how much of a bedwetter I am?
Tell a few of your trusted close friends that your boyfriend is still in diapers, and then proceed to tell me that you told them before they come over for game night?
Learn my body's routine so well that you dont really need to check me anymore. You just know that I'll need a change at a certain time of day?
Message me things like "How's your diaper doin' kiddo?" "Have you changed yet?" "Get home soon so we can get you changed before dinner's ready!" "Did you remember to bring your diaper bag with you?" "I bet you're probably soaked right now, huh?"
Bring my diaper bag into the amusement park with us whether I'll need it or not because you know the bag will be checked and the contents will be removed? And that you'll need to open it at random because you might need to find the sunscreen, chapstick, tissues, water, snacks, phone, wallet, sunglasses, and anything else you might have stashed in there?
Yeah, I think I'll have to say yes to that because all the butterflies in my tummy told me to. Sorry, I dont make the rules.
Sooooo. When do we start!?
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