ā¦anyway, cast down your Minotaur Oppressors! Experiment! Have fun!Ā
Lets start by saying that Iām honestly offended that serious people showed up to this post. Seriousness in sex, fandom, and discourse is anathema to me, my values, my cow, m-
Long live humor and fury!
Moving on. To quote a guy (oh, you know, some random guy, not anyone Iām particularly attached to):Ā āYour fatherās your prison, you see. Youāre just a copy of an imitation.ā Excessive obeisance to fandom olds is as stifling to creativity as acquiescing in the purity kicking and screaming of the fandom 15yos.
I appreciate that you said itās a āgreat place to start,ā but itās positioned as an afterthought to soften the blow. The whole thing reads like a shrine to a saint, complete with emotional appeal to attract more believers.Ā MinotaurāsĀ āgay communityā bias will be clear from the outset to anyone whoās a gay man and doesnāt have anything in common with him, but we all know that just this moment, with the atmosphere in fandom, many women are feeling particularly vulnerable about being allowed to write mlm things without bowing to the Authority of Gay Men, so championing his authority feels like an attempt at corralling people towards Truth rather than an attempt to genuinely help them live their own best lives.
Letās remember that the eminence of the āgay communityā as a pillar of gay experience is a lie an availability bias. Itās a clubhouse for gays who all have tastes and preferences in common with one another. Someone being part of that community doesnāt make them a Beacon of Truth on gay sex in a Fog of Lies. Just means thereās a bunch of people that agree with them. Yay for them. Minotaur has context, not credentials. If you want to write sex (and lifestyles) that people in the gay community have, heās probably a good place to start. If you want to write gay sex (and lifestyles), thatās like⦠just his opinion, man. For immediate illustration with a simple example: hereās FSR disagreeing with Minotaur and saying kissing is NOTĀ āso important,ā and hereās me saying kissing is the fucking dumps. I also want to draw attention to this brilliant bit where FSR says:Ā
When I made my first post on the topic some people said things like: āWhy youāre bothering? Thereās a Minotaurās guide. Havenāt you heard of it?āĀ
In my opinion, such attitude is slightly unhealthy. Because every single guide that teaches people how to do something reflects no more than its authorās opinion. Fandom in general seems to be oblivious of this fact.
Bringing up Minotaur on my post that was made in the spirit of renouncing Ancient Anal Authorities instead of making your own feels like much of the same. If you really wanted to bring him up as an alternative experience of Butt-Dick Relations, there were less authoritative ways of doing that.
(Since weāre sharing guides, hereās FSRāsĀ guide on the same topic, though I neither endorse nor deride it. Trying to find the link, I found emails from 2007 of me arguing with FSR about some of his thoughts too. Lmao, I am more consistent than I ever imagined.)
Anyway, to the people who are sifting through this post and its replies for the truth on how to Write The Ultimate Gay Sex Scene: there is no truth. Read all advice and guides critically (especially mine - take all others with a grain of salt, but dump the whole fucking shaker on my shit if youāre prone to taking things literally). Sample from many sources. Donāt let BNF personality cults lead you to believe that a popular guide is more authoritative than your own instinct.Ā
If anyone reading happens to want my actual advice about writing smut, stripped of all facetiousness,Ā this is my post on that, and the gist of it is: You aināt gonna find the formula to good smut in a guide. Youāll find it in your own blood, sweat, tears, and repeated embarrassments if you take the time to listen to your likes, your dislikes, and learn on the mistakes of others. Good smut, writing, art is defined just as much, if not more, by how much of the world around you (guides, advice, someone elseās fics, assholes named Gabriel, etc.) you reject as it is by how much of it you accept.
So coming back to my quote from some random asshole whose name does not vaguelyĀ rhyme with Caramelldansen, the one about fathers and prisons, if youāre following me, whether you have any butts-on experience with anal or not: Donāt let fandom baggage from decades past get you down by guilting you into paying your dues to your elders. We owe a lot to fandom founders and thinkers and writers, but we donāt owe them our own lived truths.