dean writes here

[deanwriteshere]

New School Seahawks Are The Anti-Dolphins

Reading excerpts of the “worst stuff” from the Wells Report last week was pretty terrible.  Lowlights included: Miami Dolphins players fining Martin for “being a pussy,” calling Martin a “stinky Pakastani,” making jokes about shooting black people, repeatedly calling “Player A” a “faggot,” and taunting an Asian-American trainer on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor.  Classy right? In fairness to the NFL, the Dolphins locker room appears to be the extreme.  Most observers have not personally witnessed NFL locker room culture, and beat writers can only convey so much.   However, fans, writers, coaches, and even team mascots all know that bullying, racism, sexism, and homophobia are not cool.  At the minimum, it seems the NFL is lagging behind societal ideals in these areas.  At least one player - New York Giants cornerback Terrell Thomas - is in agreement.  Speaking on Michael Sam, the first openly homosexual player to enter the NFL draft, Thomas claims, “society is ready for it, and America's ready for it, but I don't think the NFL is.” If a multi-billion dollar business such as the NFL hopes to evolve and grow, it may benefit by observing one team in particular – the team that just won the Super Bowl.  Pete Carroll and the Seahawks are doing it differently in Seattle.  Carroll has created a culture defined by positivity, support, respect, and accountability.  It is the anti-Dolphins locker room -  and, perhaps, the future of the NFL. Alyssa Roenigk did a fantastic job detailing the Seahawks new-school philosophy in a pre-season piece for ESPN magazine.  A few key findings are below. Hopefully these ideas may provide food for thought regarding the future of NFL culture. Positivity Carroll is a huge believer in positive thinking.  So is his Quarterback, Russell Wilson, who was gushing about the Seahawks positive-minded culture during training camp. "I truly believe in positive synergy, that your positive mindset gives you a more hopeful outlook, and belief that you can do something great means you will do something great. I believed that before I got here, and the crazy thing is, Coach Carroll and our football team believe it too.” Wilson doesn’t just believe positivity, he lives it.  After the team’s 30-28 playoff loss to the Falcons two seasons ago, Wilson hadn’t even left the tunnel before shifting to positive thoughts, “The Seahawks have a bright, bright future,” and “The Seahawks can be special for a long time.”  Carroll was on the same page, telling Wilson as they got on the bus: “We can win multiple Super Bowls.” Check one off the list.

Mental/Emotional Support When Carroll took the Seahawks job four years ago, he wanted to create an environment where the coaching staff truly cared about the players. "I wanted to find out if we went to the NFL and really took care of guys, really cared about each and every individual, what would happen?" During training camp, Roenigk saw the plan in action.  There were: therapists on staff; coaches regularly asking players how they were doing; blood test for struggling players (in search of amino acid deficiencies that act as important indicators for sufficient levels of dopamine and serotonin); meditation sessions; and regular yoga. As for what would happen?  Super Bowl, remember. Accountability Just because the Seahawks are allowed, and encouraged, to vent emotions doesn’t mean they aren’t held accountable for their performance.  Carroll doesn’t allow for complaining or excuse-making.  It’s the second of his three major decrees. 1. Protect the team; 2. No whining, no complaining, no excuses; 3. Be early. You’re allowed to be human and have problems; you just need to work through them.  It’s an empathetic approach that has made a believer out of assistant head coach, and former hot head, Tom Cable. "I always coached how my coaches coached me," Cable says. Working alongside Carroll, 48-year-old Cable says he finally feels as though he's working with players the right way. "If I go ballistic on a guy because he dropped his outside hand or missed an underneath stunt, who is wrong? I am.  I’m attacking his self-confidence and he's learning that if he screws up, he's going to get yelled at. If you make a mistake here, it's going to get fixed." Seahawks The Solution? Positive thinking, therapy, and meditation might sound like “wussy culture” to some.  Tell that to Seattle’s #1 ranked defense (in particular their physical secondary, nicknamed The Legion of Boom) and the hardest hitting running back in the league Marshawn Lynch (nicknamed Beast Mode). More likely, it’s helped them develop individually, and bond as a team.  It’s helped them perform their jobs more effectively.  And, you know, win the Super Bowl. I’m not saying that Carroll’s way is for everyone.  I'm not saying that every player walking through Seattle's locker room is a saint.  But there is something special going on in Seattle.  Something different from the NFL norm.  In the wake of the Wells report, and with the first homosexual player poised to enter the NFL, the league would be wise to take note.

[deanwriteshere]

Success Is How You Handle Brick Walls

(Kaylin Bowers/Daily Progress, via Associated Press) “Too many people go through life complaining about their problems. I’ve always believed that if you took one tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well things can work out.” - Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch was a professor of computer science and a pioneer in virtual reality at Carnegie Mellon University. He became famous in 2007 for his “last lecture” (it has generated 14.5 million Youtube views, landed him a spot on Oprah, and was turned into a best-selling book). The talk was part of a series where professors gave their hypothetical “last lecture” – summing their knowledge and final advice for the world. Except Pausch’s speech wasn’t hypothetical. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a month before the talk, and passed away ten months after. Lucky for us, he left behind one of the most inspirational lectures you will come across. Pausch’s lecture focuses on dreams. I’d say he was lucky enough to accomplish his own, but that would be a disservice. Pausch earned his. Creating your own luck is essential to his talk. To that end, he talks about brick walls. How we approach them makes or breaks us. Pausch explains, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” Brick walls are tests from the universe, asking us how badly we want it. How we handle the brick walls is our response. We endure or we quit. We move past them or we stagnate. We complain or we solve. Our dreams are determined by our choices. It’s that simple, and yet it’s never easy. Brick walls are not exclusive to the path of dreamers. We face brick walls every day. And we make choices. Some complain: about their job; their weight; their relationships; about how nothing is ever fair. Venting is okay, but I’m talking about perpetual complaining. The negative kind that saps your energy and drags others down. It’s a common mistake that never works. And then there are those that talk about walls, but never do anything. The ones who don’t follow through. The ones who say they’re going to write that novel; create that film; start a business; leave their unfulfilling job; dump their toxic boyfriend; move out of that town they loath. Talk is usually counterproductive. Talking about goals makes you less likely to achieve them (the reason: your mind believes the talk. You get the satisfaction comes, without achieving the goal, and lost motivation). It’s why the media was ridiculous to jump on Marshawn Lynch for not speaking at media day. Lynch, like Pausch, knows it’s about that action (also: this awesome remix action).

My intention is not to shame complainers and talkers. I’ve been guilty of complaining and living through my lips more than I’d like to admit. We’ve all been guilty. What’s important is that we learn and take accountability. Next time you’re facing a brick wall, address it proactively. It’s the key to progress and keeping dreams alive.

[deanwriteshere]

Feeling Lost? Try Stream of Consciousness Writing

Art by Sarah Chu

Feeling lost?  Not sure what to do with your life?  Fear not!  I have the solution.  It’s called: STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WRITING, and for just $9.99… Seriously though, try stream of consciousness writing (I’m calling it SOC).  If you've never heard of it, it's exactly as it sounds: you streaming your thoughts out on to paper.  It's a great break from the constant connectedness of our digital world, and will get you in touch with your inner desires.  You want to figure out what you really want, before figuring out the how to.

I put together a SOC exercise for career clarity seekers below. If you’re stuck, give it a try.

1. Grab a pen and paper. Find a quiet place with no distractions (music is okay if it helps you focus). 2. Ask yourself anyone of the following questions. It’s a good idea to get yourself in touch with as many of these questions possible, but I suggest you tackle them one at a time. You want to give your full focus and attention to each.

What do I want to do?

What do I love doing?

What is my dream job?

What would I do if money weren’t an object?

What do I care about?

What do I want to change?

What problem do I want to solve?

How do I want to contribute to society (because one way or another, that’s what a job is)?

3. Now write. Let your thoughts flow out naturally. No editing, no filtering, who cares about structure, spelling or grammar - just write whatever comes to mind. No practical concerns at this stage either. This is about what you want, not what you think is feasible. So no: this could never happen; how would I make money; it’s too late; that fields too competitive; I’m not talented or lucky enough; and every other stupid excuse your fear conjures. Let it all go. Focus on what you want.

4. Write for as long as you can. The deeper into your thoughts you go, the better. Don’t worry if you get off track. Have fun, let your mind wander, then reel it back into the question your focusing on. 5. Read it over and reflect. Any surprises? Did you write something you already knew? Maybe you forgot what you really want, because you’ve been so caught up. Use whatever insights you’ve come up with as building blocks for thinking about careers, trying different things out, meeting professionals in your desired field, etc.

6. Don’t expect your path to become clear after one shot. You’re searching for core pieces of yourself - building blocks for thinking about your career. Alternatively, SOC can be seen as resetting your internal compass. You’re figuring out what you love, so that you can begin moving there.

7. Go back to SOC whenever you’re feeling lost. These insights came from my own SOC: I’m a writer.  Dreamer.  Creative. Outside the box thinker. I want to spread good ideas - stuff that inspires, motivates, provokes thought. I'm a problem-solver. I like helping people solve their problems. I loathe bureaucracy and loaded process. I want to be a part of organizational models that promote creativity and innovation. I want to collaborate with people crazy/ambitious enough to think they can change the world. I’m figuring out how to turn that into a job. I need to get more concrete, but it’s a start. Good luck and happy streaming!

[deanwriteshere]

Let's Suck More in 2014

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

- Ira Glass I came across this quote by Ira Glass about a year ago, and can relate to the beginner feeling where my work falls short of my standard.  Whenever I start writing, I’m really excited.  The ideas are flowing, insights are popping up, I feel like a damn genius. Until I read it over.  At which point I conclude that it's shit.  Complete shit, in fact.  So I edit.  And re-write.  And edit some more.  And re-write some more.

This is fairly normal to the writing process – except, I don’t stop.  I want it to be perfect, so i keep it.  More  editing.  More re-writing.  More editing.  More re-writing. Still not happy.

So, the self-doubt creeps in.  The over-thinking, over-analyzing:

Maybe this post wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I should focus on something else. Maybe I'm just not good at this writing thing.

Sound familiar?  If so, 2014 is the year we're stopping the viscous cycle of doubt and dissatisfaction.  I propose a pledge: I, [your name here], will suck more in 2014. That’s my resolution -  flow more, think less, produce.  I'm sucking more to suck less.  I'm going to suck so much that the work has no choice but to be good - eventually.  Take that however you want, but suck with me if you want to get better.

UPDATE: Just finished watching an episode of Adventure Time where Jake the Dog confirms, "Sucking at something is the first step toward being kind of good at something."  I'm one step ahead of you Jake (even though I'm not because the episode aired in 2010 and this idea has been floating around for as long as humans have reflected on what it takes to get good at something).

[deanwriteshere]

The Other Side of Ego - Part 2

[This is a follow-up post to “Can Kanye’s Ego Power You To Awesome,” which you can find here] In my last post, I used Kanye West to argue for a strong ego.  I showed how confidence helps against self-doubt and criticism, raises your standards, and can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  There is a power to self-belief.  We don't always have to be ashamed of our egos. Egoism is not all positive of course.  A big ego can hold you back just as much as it can propel you.  To balance the discussion, I'm bringing two negative ego types into the discussion.  It's good to be confident, but you don't want to be these folks.

The Always Right Ego The Always Right Ego can’t admit when it's wrong.  Facts, logic, and reason mean nothing to these types.  They attach their stubborn beliefs to their self-worth, and argue endlessly to prove how right they are. They are hard headed, self-centered, extremists.

The political world is loaded with Always Right Egos.  Usually the further entrenched one is in some “ism,” (conservatism, liberalism, socialism, etc), political party, or issue, the more they descend into Always Right Egoism.  I’m a recovering lefty, so I would know.

Always Right Egoism explains the constant gridlock in Washington.  Democrats and Republicans can’t agree on anything because they’re too invested in their respective narrow views of the world.  They scream and shout, instead of listening to each other.  That's why nothing ever gets done. Our dysfunctional Congress highlights the self-limitation and counterproductive nature of Always Right Egoism.  Don't be like Congress.

The World Revolves Around Me Ego The World Revolves Around Me Ego believes it is the center of the world.  Their self-obsession produces a value system where everything gets measured against their own desires.  They lack humility and empathy.  On the extreme end their selfishness makes them exploiters and users.  Think: spoiled only child, greedy business owner, megalomaniac celebrity (yes, Kanye falls into this category at times.  I acknowledge, the Taylor Swift incident did happen). We are social beings living in an interdependent society.  One of the cruelest forms of punishment is solitary confinement.  Unless you’re a self-sufficient recluse living in the woods, you no doubt rely on other people.  The World Revolves Around Me Ego seems to have lost sight of all this.  They’re lost in themselves.  You don’t want to be that person either. Side note: the Always Right Ego and the World Revolves Around Me Ego are not exclusive categories.  Some people exhibit both characteristics and make for terrible humans.

Your Ego is the Means, Not the End

The Always Right Ego and the World Revolves Around Me Ego are more characteristics than character types.  Few people embody these characteristics wholly.  These are ego traps that many of us fall into.  We argue with a friend, they prove us wrong, and we scramble to find some nugget of truth in our argument to insist that we're still right.  Or we get so caught up in ourselves that we neglect the needs of family and friends.  In these moments, our ego controls us. A healthy ego is a controlled ego.  It should be a means for accomplishing your goals, not a self-serving, self-inflating, end.  Let your ego be a source of confidence for achieving difficult tasks - finishing a novel, starting a business, or hitting that fitness goal - and not a measure of your self-worth.

[deanwriteshere]

Can Kanye’s Ego Power You to Awesome?

Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams I use it as my gas, so they say that I'm gassed, But without it I'd be last, so I ought to laugh. - Kanye West Kanye West’s ego has a bad reputation. Critics label him arrogant, self-obsessed, over-the-top, egotistical, out-of-control. Fans even think he’s a little crazy. Beneath the mockery, an important narrative has been overlooked. Namely:

Kanye West is Kanye West because of his ego.  Now, when I say Kanye West, what I mean is talented, millionaire rap superstar.

So, what I’m really saying is: Kanye West is a talented, millionaire rap superstar success because of his ego. Most of us would die to make millions living out our dreams, yet we scrutinize the ego that got Kanye there. Should we reconsider how we perceive Kanye's ego then? Could a stronger ego help power our own dreams? Let's consider. Silence the self-doubt “We all self-conscious, I’m just the first to admit it.” Even the king of cocky is self-conscious. The difference is Kanye beats that internal critic to submission with confidence and hard work. His superego tells him he’s the dopest, best-dressed, most awesome rapper of all-time. He takes actions and plays the part.

If you’re constantly self-doubting, an ego boost wouldn't hurt. Listen to “Champion,” “Stronger,” “I Am A God.” Feed off the energy.  Drown the internal critic out in your awesomeness and get to work chasing your dreams. Just don’t forget to praise YEEZUS for the inspiration. Shield from the haters “My ego is my drug. My drug is, ‘I’m better than all you other motherf---ers. Kiss my ass!” Not saying the world is made of motherfuckers that should kiss your ass. But if you’re a dreamer, there will be haters on your journey. Taking the Kanye "kiss my ass" approach isn't the worst option. Kanye’s creates with a chip on his shoulder.  The haters fuel him. If you’ve listened to “Last Call” from College Dropout, then you know Kanye went through a long period of rejection before finally landing his deal with Roc-A-Fella. What kept him going through the struggle was his was his ego. The rejection fueled him and the rest is history.  It’s a lesson in the perseverance of ego. Let the doubters motivate you too. A big ego raises the bar "When I think of competition it's like I try to create against the past. I think about Michelangelo and Picasso, you know, the pyramids." When you Kanye West-believe-in-yourself, you raise your standards. Kanye competes against legends because he believes that no man is better than him. He's a God, he controls his destiny. That might sound pompous, but the results don't lie. Many professional athletes adopt a similar mentality.  Wide-receiver Dez Bryant of the Dallas Cowboys comes to mind as a recent example. When asked to compare himself to Calvin Johnson (the best receiver on Earth, non-sports fans), Bryant said he plays with the mentality that there's nothing he can't do. The critics jumped all over him, for suggesting he’s on Calvin’s level. What critics fail to realize is that it’s about a mentality that Dez brings to his craft. If you’ve watched Dez on Sunday’s, then you know its working. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be great. The ego’s drive for greatness is the reason we can’t get enough of our favorite athletes and artists. Kanye’s just really vocal about it. You don’t have to be as vocal, but why wouldn’t you believe that you're great? Superego as self-fulfilling prophecy “[I knew] I was going to be a big star. At the time, they used to have the Virgin music [stores], and I would go there and just go up the escalator and say to myself, 'I’m soaking in these last moments of anonymity.” Kanye told his elementary school teachers – everyday – that he was going to be the greatest rapper in the world.  He bragged to Talib Kweli about the hits on his second album (Late Registration) before his first album (College Dropout) was released. Self-fulfilling prophecy, the law of attraction, the secret – whatever you want to call it, there’s a power to self-belief. Kanye lives through that spirit and it’s clearly manifested. Reconsidering the ego “You want me to be great, but you don’t want me to say I’m great.” Striving to be great is admirable, but we’re ashamed to believe it of ourselves and wouldn't dare say it out loud. The world doesn’t need more bashfulness, insecurity, and compromise. The world needs passion; ambition; individuals with purpose and courage.  Dreamers, that believe in themselves. Maybe, what we need, is more ego.