Follow the Butterflies!

Becky 🍑 25. Just a place to post my favs 🤷🏻‍♀️

[omghotmemes]

[wellthatsjustamess]

It’s the only logical explanation

[fairykukla]

So that’s what the Monster Under The Bed is reduced to these days…

[c-bassmeow]

The economy sucks what do you expect

[whitepeopletwitter]

[notvoid]

[roguerobi]

Okay so my favorite thing about this that kinda gets lost in translation is that the word ガーリックトースト is read as “gaarikku tousuto” which means the final お is just an extension of the last sound

TL;DR In English this tweet would just be

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GARLIC TOASTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[thebootydiaries]

me: im gonna diet & eat so healthy honestly this summer is gonna be life changing health is a lifestyle #blessed

wendy’s: 2 burgers for $2

me:

[klefable]

it’s me, the neediest person in the world™

[diary-of-a-chinese-kid]

The lock is a mini knob I can’t handle this

[thatsthat24]

Don’t turn me or my son ever again.

[mangacartaholygrail]

*refuses to look at texts* I love conversation and communication

[tikkety-tok]

[randomencounters]

Encounter: Bob the Australian Necromancer

[cybermax]

Made my day.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Did I ever tell you guys how I met a Karen on a cruise when I was 13, got yelled at by her and before I proceeded to make her regret her life choices in the span of 3 minutes on an elevator?

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Okay so this was 11 years ago. 

I was 13 and I was on a cruise for my Cousin’s quinceanera (Royal Caribbean gave discounts for those)

So My cousin was doing some stuff related to the event and didn’t have time to get food, so She asked me, my sister and a Family friend who was my age to go get her some pizza from one of the lower floors.

So we moved from the pool deck to get on the elevator.

Now we didn’t see anyone coming, so naturally I pressed the Elevator close button. and just as it was half-way closed, this crazy woman JUMPS IN, causing the the Elevator doors to sputter and then open.

The older woman, (who was a clear Karen as defined by now) was hella pissed. She makes a nasty snide comment “Thanks for holding the door” Clearly bitter and spitting venom. She was ready to give me a tongue lashing.

Now my 13 year old brain wanted to say “Sorry, I didn’t see you.” or “You blindsided us” But I ended up saying.

“I’m Sorry, Im Blind.”

The Karen’s eyes went wide and her mouth closed. She looked at me, unsure of how to respond to that.

Normally this would be an obvious lie. But I was wearing Sunglasses and she couldn’t see my eyes. I also wasn’t looking directly at her.

So the elevator ride was silent.

My sister and My fam friend were doing their best not to laugh.

A family got on and got off the elevator over the course of the ride.

The woman does make another snide comment.

“Why didn’t you close the elevator on them?”

I look down, not at her.

“I learned not to touch anything” as sad as I could.

Her face goes back to confusion. She is starting to think.

‘Oh s***. I think I have been insulting a blind kid.’

Unfortunately, I realized that we were all heading to the same floor.

I knew I was screwed once we got off on the floor. So, I made a gamble.

When we arrived on the floor, the elevator announced the floor number.

I stuck my arm out, Waiting, Praying my sister would understand.

She knew what I was going for. She took my hand and led me out of the elevator and away from the mean Karen. 

The look on that woman’s face is something I treasure to this day.

[undidiridium]

This is peak toph energy

[frankpunisher]

im screaming into my pillow

[frankpunisher]

YALL

[xueyangapologist]

a nsa agent in a suit looking through my laptop camera: she’s on her phone…….. our data shows that she’s got tumblr open on her laptop but she has tumblr open on her phone………. double check her browser?

some nerd hired straight out of college: *types rapidly* she’s definitely got tumblr open on her laptop

the nsa agent, softly: so why is she looking at it on her phone…..

[kaedien]

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

[roarykooper]

i went to england to visit the family of this boy im dating in birmingham. one of his sisters lived in manchester and his whole family kept being like we wish lila was her you would love her blah blah blah lila would just lobe you blah and I was finally like well why couldn’t she make it? everyone was like lol as we said she’s in manchester??? that’s it. i looked up the distance and it’s like less than two hours away and when me and my dude went to grab a beer later that night I was like so does Lila not get along with your parents like what’s up? again, he’s like babe I told you she’s in manchester. I was like are the villages at war????? he goes “it’s too far. this isn’t holiday.” I was like babe we’ve drivin 4-5 hours for weekend trips to the beach Im just confused- and he cuts me off and goes “that’s American me. We don’t do that here”

[funny-tik-toks]

[thepurveyor2018]

The betrayal...

[riffquinzel]

that 90s fashion though

[im-not-right-in-the-head-deacti]

[movingtotwitter-at-hazymazepone]

Oh my god is this a cat or a sheep?

[m86-deactivated20171116]

a shat

[fnafvr]

Dont call it that please

[rose-the-platypus]

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

God one the best jokes

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light