the unsendable letter.

for those of you who have to send a letter to someone, but can't bring yourself to send it. let it out.

[poetryorchard]

Hey writer friends! It's been difficult trying to connect with folks on social media lately. We have 2 events coming up and we would greatly appreciate any shares.

Sunday 26 Jan @ 2 PM EST / 7 PM GMT - Kindred Spirits

Creative writing workshop inspired by the concept of kindred spirits (and also a b-day party for Nashira 🥳) sign up here!

Wednesday 29 Jan @ 2 PM EST / 7 PM GMT - Coworking session

Join us for an online coworking/body doubling session! Bring your WIPs or just come and hang out like we're all in a coffee shop together :) sign up here!

Our events are online and asynchronous. We do not require anyone to attend the live sessions - you can sign up just for the materials if you like! If you do come, you an join/leave at any time, you don't need to share your work, and you can totally just lurk and hang out.

[poetryorchard]

Presenting Folklore: Poetry to Pine Over on October 13, this coming Sunday!

As inspired by Taylor's Folklore, together we'll explore poetry that channels mysticism, longing, and second chances. As autumn creeps in and the world changes before our eyes, we invite you to be a little more magical and full of heartache 💟

To sign up, please visit us on Eventbrite.

(Pssst...If you’d like a free ticket, then sign up for the Cherry Jelly tier on our Patreon to receive one free promo code every month!)

Hope to see you there!

[poetryorchard]

Folklore: Poetry to Pine Over (Creative Writing Workshop)

An online creative writing workshop inspired by Taylor Swift's Folklore and poetry channeling mysticism, longing, and second chances.

In 1 hour and 30 minutes! We'd love to see you there, even if you don't go here! We have a lot of folks in these workshops who don't even listen to TS.

You're not required to attend or sit through the entire live session if you don't want to, you're invited to register just for the materials!

[shylovrs]

!! please share this !!

Hey, I don’t recall if I have been open about this off-twitter, but May of this year, my dad died. He was 70. He was working abroad at the time, but due to the p*ndemic, had to evacuate. My brother, mother, and I live in Guatemala, but my dad was unable to retun and instead flew to Denmark, where my dad’s family is from. On the 14th of May, I woke up to learn my dad passed suddenly in his sleep. I was really close to him, and I’m still struggling to accept what’s happened.

I wasn’t able to bury him. Only one of his sons and a few relatives were able to put him to rest.

We are a mixed race family asking for help. It is in Danish krone, but there is a USD converter on the page!

For various, long-standing financial issues, my dad was working well past retirement age to support me, my brother, and mom, right up until he passed. Unfortunately, my older brothers are unable to support us, and it’s been hard for me and my brother to care for my immigrant mother who I’m scared we will be separated from. This GoFund Me will help cover rent, living expenses, mine and my brother’s education, and the move back to Denmark (so we can be closer to family, take care of our mom, and finally heal). 

Link: [x]

There are further details on the page, but please share and contribute if you can! It will help so much.

Alternatively, I write poetry! If you dm me w/ a screenshot of your donation, I will write you a poem! Deadlines will be a bit wonky and I may not be able to get to everyone who asked, but I will do my very best! ❤️

[dear-fillintheblank]

Submit here. If you wish to submit anonymously, please log out and then submit using an email address such as [email protected]

Hi friends,

I haven’t really updated this blog since the pandemic started

I’m sure you have some things weighing on your spirit. It’s okay to let it out. You don’t need to keep everything inside. No one around here will judge you, but you will be met with sympathy and kindness here.

You can share anything on your mind in our askbox or submit page.

❤

[dear-fillintheblank]

By the way,

if anyone has a GoFundMe or post that needs to be shared, feel free to message me and I will share it!

[nashira]

i feel like i’m the only one in the woods with a working compass.  i’ve turned to stone listening to people who think they know what is right for me / it is not enough for you to exist in your own space,  so you invade mine. how insulting it is,  to be damned for seeming cold when i can’t afford to be anything but pristine in this world.  i am a maiden among leeches;  a guide,  begging to be listened to / i am justice personified & i grow tired of watching the world spin in the wrong direction.

― being an earth sign is a full-time job & we should be compensated (x)

[shylovrs]

!! please share this !!

Hey, I don’t recall if I have been open about this off-twitter, but May of this year, my dad died. He was 70. He was working abroad at the time, but due to the p*ndemic, had to evacuate. My brother, mother, and I live in Guatemala, but my dad was unable to retun and instead flew to Denmark, where my dad’s family is from. On the 14th of May, I woke up to learn my dad passed suddenly in his sleep. I was really close to him, and I’m still struggling to accept what’s happened.

I wasn’t able to bury him. Only one of his sons and a few relatives were able to put him to rest.

We are a mixed race family asking for help. It is in Danish krone, but there is a USD converter on the page!

For various, long-standing financial issues, my dad was working well past retirement age to support me, my brother, and mom, right up until he passed. Unfortunately, my older brothers are unable to support us, and it’s been hard for me and my brother to care for my immigrant mother who I’m scared we will be separated from. This GoFund Me will help cover rent, living expenses, mine and my brother’s education, and the move back to Denmark (so we can be closer to family, take care of our mom, and finally heal). 

Link: [x]

There are further details on the page, but please share and contribute if you can! It will help so much.

Alternatively, I write poetry! If you dm me w/ a screenshot of your donation, I will write you a poem! Deadlines will be a bit wonky and I may not be able to get to everyone who asked, but I will do my very best! ❤️

[dear-fillintheblank]

Hello! To anyone who’s still following, feel free to submit letters ^__^

[dear-fillintheblank]

Submit here. If you wish to submit anonymously, please log out and then submit using an email address such as [email protected]

Hi friends,

I haven’t really updated this blog since the pandemic started

I’m sure you have some things weighing on your spirit. It’s okay to let it out. You don’t need to keep everything inside. No one around here will judge you, but you will be met with sympathy and kindness here.

You can share anything on your mind in our askbox or submit page.

❤

[shylovrs]

!! please share this !!

Hey, I don’t recall if I have been open about this off-twitter, but May of this year, my dad died. He was 70. He was working abroad at the time, but due to the p*ndemic, had to evacuate. My brother, mother, and I live in Guatemala, but my dad was unable to retun and instead flew to Denmark, where my dad’s family is from. On the 14th of May, I woke up to learn my dad passed suddenly in his sleep. I was really close to him, and I’m still struggling to accept what’s happened.

I wasn’t able to bury him. Only one of his sons and a few relatives were able to put him to rest.

We are a mixed race family asking for help. It is in Danish krone, but there is a USD converter on the page!

For various, long-standing financial issues, my dad was working well past retirement age to support me, my brother, and mom, right up until he passed. Unfortunately, my older brothers are unable to support us, and it’s been hard for me and my brother to care for my immigrant mother who I’m scared we will be separated from. This GoFund Me will help cover rent, living expenses, mine and my brother’s education, and the move back to Denmark (so we can be closer to family, take care of our mom, and finally heal). 

Link: [x]

There are further details on the page, but please share and contribute if you can! It will help so much.

Alternatively, I write poetry! If you dm me w/ a screenshot of your donation, I will write you a poem! Deadlines will be a bit wonky and I may not be able to get to everyone who asked, but I will do my very best! ❤️

[dear-fillintheblank]

You

To you, 

I hope you're well and know for sure you're keeping productive through this time of uncertainty. I know you probably won't read this but I just wanted to update you on my life: I got my license, am studying the course of my dreams at ACU, I'm seeing someone but no one ever measures upto you and they never will because you are the great love of my life and there is never a day that goes by that i don't think of you, I know this isn't the case for you I'm just some girl who crossed state for you. I hope your parents are doing okay and that you're happy and that you're still not missing me as much as i miss you and all our adventures even if you were a complete asshole sometimes, I know i wasn't a ray of sunshine to be w either. 

Just know that I love you and I'll never stop loving you because no one understood me as well as you did. I hope one day our lives cross paths with one another til then. 

All my love 

[dear-fillintheblank]

Hello! To anyone who’s still following, feel free to submit letters ^__^

[dear-fillintheblank]

Hi. I’m scared

Hi. I don’t know how to start this letter. My heart is beating and I think I’m going to get an anxiety attack. I have the phobia of love, philophobia. You’re really beautiful. Did you know that? You’re the most beautiful boy I’ve ever met. I’ve been in love with you for four months now. For a while, we said that we loved each other, but we never had a relationship. I still do, I don’t know if you feel the same way. I hope so. I’m too scared to say anything to you. You live in the city next to mine. You moved there in summer. This sounds like I’ve been stalking you, but I’ve just listened to you and your problems. I really do love you. You’re really important to me. But I don’t know how I will say this to you. I think I never will.

[dear-fillintheblank]

You need to go away now.

It's almost been a year since we last talked. Or, you know, since you shut me out of your life. I guess that's my punishment. Whether I deserve it or not, well... I guess that depends on whether the story comes out of your mouth or mine. We each provide our own distortions, I suppose. I missed you intensely. Fuck, it really hurt. We were all hurting. But I also moved on after a few months, because I didn't allow myself the luxury of wallowing. I had things to do, places to go. Both were things I'd given up the first time I'd entered a relationship, much to my detriment. I thought I might not survive. But I did learn, and I didn't allow you to do the same to me, even if you wore me down just about every single day of the 8-9 months we were inseparable friends. Later I learned that you'd also ghosted on your next "flavour of the month" bestie. You hurt her deeply when you did that. I can admit that honestly, though I am viciously satisfied that she too, finally understood the difficulties I went through with you. Perhaps now she has edged closer to the right to judge me.

You know what right you don't have? 

The right to walk back into the lives of people you ghosted on, more than half a year after you up and left. Yes, I saw your open letter, perhaps you intended me to see it too despite throwing shade my way in it. Are you lonely and regretful this holiday season? I haven't forgotten the way you made me feel, the way you made your friends and boyfriend feel last December. We were terrified for your safety and then you railed against us for trying to help you. I don't think any of us are going to forget the daily suicide threats, the daily emotional rollercoaster rides, the endless walking on eggshells, the constant being taken to task for statements uttered months ago, the emotional blackmail, dishonesty, and lack of self-awareness. It is truly frustrating to see you come back half a year later, suicide pact forgotten, blaming others in such a passive-aggressive manner, but also blaming yourself for the absolute wrong things. You don't want to talk about your pattern of emotional abuse, you just want to tell us you think you're a terrible person so we're forced to waste time and energy on convincing you otherwise, rather than taking you to task for your actions. Turning the attention to yourself again, so people are forced to reassure you rather than having an honest conversation with you about the long list of obstacles involved in being your friend or lover.

You don't get to re-insinuate yourself back into the lives of people you've hurt after you made the choice to leave. People have to right to move on from toxic, vicious people like you - just like the multitude of close friends who've left you in the past. So let me give you the opportunity to stick to the consequences of your actions. You need to go away again, right now.

[dear-fillintheblank]

I just wanted to say, I've been submitting letters anonymously to this site for five years, and it's been the best outlet I could imagine. Because of you, whoever is running this blog, I've been able to get so much off of my chest and into words without having to say anything at all. I just wanted to say thank you and let you know how much that means to me.

<3

[dear-fillintheblank]

Dear A, I don’t know why you left me. Would it make me feel better if I knew the reason? Probably not. Because whatever the real reason was, it all comes down to me not being worth sticking around for in your mind. Did you meet someone new? Probably. Did you think things were moving too fast? Probably but I won’t take the blame for that. I followed your lead. Maybe that was it, maybe I was too easy going. Maybe I was too ugly, maybe I was bad at sex, maybe you went home to Chicago and rekindled with a past love, maybe I’m boring, maybe I’m annoying, maybe anything. These are the things that haunt me, but truly would knowing which one it was hurt any less? I don’t think so. Maybe I should’ve cried. Maybe I shouldn’t have “handled that so well”, maybe I should’ve wept and shouted and made a scene, maybe you thought I didn’t care enough. Did I seem aloof? Was I not vulnerable enough? Should I have made myself smaller and weaker for you? Or was it that you figured out you were my first and that scared you? Whatever reason, I wasn’t worth sticking around for. You don’t want to touch me or kiss me or listen to me anymore. I wish you’d been meaner. I wish you’d been annoying. I wish you’d given me any reason to hate you before the moment you walked away. Also sorry that first blowjob was so weird and bad, it was my first and you probably figured that out without me telling you. But since you walked away in retrospect I’m not sorry that I never let you cum in my mouth even after I got better at blowing you.

Go fuck yourself.

I miss you.

Why?

[dear-fillintheblank]

you broke me and i apologized

you broke me. i am a fraction of who i used to be. it was a textbook example of an emotionally abusive relationship but you don't see it when it happens to you. and i'd expect it from a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but i never expected it from a friend. a friend who i gave all my time and energy to. a friendship in which i got so close to you and i opened up to you even though i never open up to anyone because i am afraid of being hurt and you KNEW that. and it seemed perfect. it was like we were dating and everyone thought we were but the simple sentence that cleared everything else up was "we are just friends" but the difference there was that when i said it i would say best friends but you just kept it friends. but i didn't mind. i didn't mind that you told me constantly that other girls were better than me, that my chest and my ass was too flat for any guy to be attracted to me, that i literally looked like a teenage boy. i didn't care that you told me how i wasn't good enough for anyone, and how you drove me away from any guy that was attracted to me because i didn't deserve them. i didn't even fucking care about the fact that you told me that who i was wasn't good enough. that my personality was one of a whore and i had to tone it back because i was presenting myself in a way you didn't think i should. that my clothes were to slutty and i should not be wearing them. i know now that you are the  reason that i am unhealthily underweight and don't eat even close to as much as i used to when i was very healthy. you are the first thing that goes through my mind when i take the first sip of alcohol and the first thing to come back to my mind after i come back from blacking out. you told me i couldn't say certain things, go certain places, wear certain things, associate myself with certain people, and there are probably more things i blocked out. i cut myself because i saw myself as the problem and the only way to find a solution was to get rid of the problem. i hated hate myself because of everything that happened. because you made me hate myself. and it hurts, and i constantly hurt. and its been months and i still fucking hurt. hurt to the point where i am just numb and constantly anxious and i dont trust the people i should trust the most because the one person i expected to always have was you. and look what happened. looking back at our good memories just makes me sob. if i had an option to take everything back and forget you ever happened, i would. maybe then i would be happy, but what do i know? i don't even know who i am anymore so how would i know what i want? most of all though, what i want to say most, is fuck you for letting me apologize constantly for just being myself. 

and now that i have it all typed up i realize just how fucked up it was and how fucked up i am from it. and i don't know how to come back. so yeah. fuck you.

[dear-fillintheblank]

Dear LA, I love you, still. Always. O.