scary love

move to the city with me, don't wanna be alone. you're too pretty for me; baby, i know, it's true, yeah. even better when you first wake up; than anybody else i've fucked. baby, i got good luck with you, i didn't know we'd get so far. & it's only the start, baby, you got me worried. written by morgan

[invaderzimz]

umm idk how to go about all this?? so im just gonna say it one more time and im sorry i really am i know what i did was shitty and im not expecting forgiveness but?? my friends or used to be friends deserved an apology and i didnt want to just?? leave everyone in the dust cause thats fucked and now that i had the chance to get on here i figured it was the right thing to do but im not doing good and thats all i wanna say? no pity or whatever and id rather not go into details but i truly am sorry to anyone that i hurt i made really good friends on here and some people i was on iffy terms with that i wanted to fix. imm rambling now and im probs gonna go cause this is gonna bring on a shit storm by itself lmao and i’d rather not do that to anyone but uh. if u wanna stay in contact i guess just message me and we can find a way? if u have my number just send me a text if u wanna talk but im not gonna come back around and try to force my way back into your guys’ lives cause i dont trust myself and i dont think anyone else does?? and thats def understandable but ya i’m sorry, and also thank you guys cause without u my life woulda gone down hill even faster 

[deardoses]

are any of my friends on here anymore 

[deardoses]

imdoing drafts. finally. 

[deardoses]

hello after a shitty time im backand better than ever! 

[deardoses]

whispers quietly.. who wanna do text things

[deardoses]

im in so much pain long drafts look like death to me so if anyone wants to do short things / text things or whatever.. tag me or hmu

[deardoses]

jordan fisher is the love of my life

[deardoses]

merry christmas my babies im super sorry for bein dead af lately i havent been feeling too good and im dealing w/ my own issues :( hopefully everything is going to clear up by tuesday or wednesday and if anyone wants to plot in the meantime im down but also? tag me in starters ill def be able to reply once i get everything figured out 

[deardoses]

a dumb boy ruined my mood so im gonna do the starters i owe now 

[deardoses]

planned on doing drafts and starters today but a coworker needs me to cover a shift and my soft ass can’t say no anyway ill be on.. soon hopefully 

[deardoses]

lowliifes:

         「  closed  ×  @deardoses​  .  」

          having a  bad dream  about them that she just couldn’t bring herself to ignore,  nari finds herself  anxiously  waiting outside of their front door  (  y’know,  after she knocked about a  million  times,  and  loudly,  at that.  )  because she has the strong  need  to check up on them and make sure they’re doing okay  ;  that they’re  safe  and sound,  despite it being  extremely  late into the night.  after what feels like  years  of no response  —  which is most likely barely even  thirty seconds,  she knocks again,  calling their name urgently.  she can only hope she isn’t disturbing any of their neighbors in the process.

         he’s waking up confused; wondering who in gods name would be at his door this late. looking towards the wall to find the time, he’s groaning seeing a two before pulling himself out of bed. he’s jogging down the stairs, running a hand through his hair before he’s hearing the voice of who he assumed to be the petite femme he had spoken to hours prior. slowly opening the door, he’s groggily staring out into the night before his eyes fall on her. “ nari, what the fuck is going on ? ”

[deardoses]

lowliifes:

          「  closed  ×  @deardoses  .  」

          ‘  hey,  ’  rae walks into the others room completely  unannounced  with a look that screams  i need something,  smile curving on his lips to help the  convincing  he’s about to do.  ‘  so,  listen.  i’ve got a  romantic  scene coming up in the drama i’m in and i need some help practicing  —  i know you must be thinking,  ‘  rae,  how could  anyone  as  talented  as you need any work  ?  ’  —  but these types of scenes are  …  different.  i wanna make sure my performance is as  authentic  as possible,  so  …  help me out  ?  ’

         she can see almost right through him, just awaiting what he had planned on asking of her. the smile across his lips was contagious enough to bring one to hers. a snicker is leaving her lips as his ego shines through; nodding slowly before slowly beginning to question him. “ what type of scenes are you hinting at here rae, i mean if you wanna get some just say  you wanna get some. ” she’s partially joking, eyes looking to him before her brows raise. 

[deardoses]

       gaze is caught on one thing, more so —— one person. yoona certainly hadn’t kept track of their previous encounter. more so it had been erased from her memories (     that all came crashing back down as her eyes held onto the others.     )  arms cross across her chest, an action that felt disgustingly familiar. words that had threatened to bubble over being swallowed harshly as she rushes to gain a small bit of composure. voice hard, pretending as if her heart hadn’t sunk as soon as she noticed them. “ been a while, what’re you doing back here ? ” ( @antibcdy )

[sstigmas]

Morgan.

[deardoses]

antibcdy:

       “  it’s cute that you look at me like some  fucked up doll.  ”  words fall milk thin in the air  &  it’s as if she’s trying to convince  herself.  heart and mind remained transparent  ;  she knew the male saw directly through her.  why wouldn’t he  ?  she had nothing to offer, of course.  (  soul was a carcass, she knew what the male saw in her  &  that had been her entire appeal —  NOTHING.  )   “  you can do and say  whatever  the fuck you want, i don’t care. but  never  try to play me for a fool.  ”  fingernails dig half-moon shaped welts into the flesh of her palms, making  futile  attempts to level the breaths taken between chapped lips.  “  so what           you’re saying you’re gonna kill  me  next  ?  is that what this is  ?  ”  he’s taking uninvited steps closer to her  &  if the quickening of her pulse were anything to go by, she’s sure a psychiatrist would declare her  clinically insane.  because anyone  STABLE  would run          run so fucking fast  &  never look back. they’d escape from the lies, the arguments and the  secrets.  so why was her only instinct to keen into his touch  &  allow glazed eyes to watch his hands paint her skin in crimson  ?  there’s a heavy weight in her chest when a breathy sigh leaves parted brims, mumbling,  “  this better be  your  blood.  ”

       he’s chuckling under his breath. “ you really think you’re enough to be a doll ? more like a puppet. ” in this moment he was in control, even with the chaotic mess that occurred not too long ago. there was never a time that he wasn’t in control. the femme in front of him knew it as well. saskia was a puppet on strings to him, it would take so little to get her to blindly follow him into whatever he chose. it’s giving him a sense of PLEASURE; to see her act so bold in front of him when he knew how weak she was. she of course, hadn’t even moved. not a step away from him. “ now now now, no one said anything about you being next. killing you would be so unsatisfying. tell me, do you have anyone other than me that would notice your presence being gone ? no fun in that. ” his words spilled out of his mouth with ease, no hesitation nor any change in expression. with his thumb against her cheek, fingers under her jaw he could feel her pulse. beat after beat, expression turning into something sadistic almost. as if he enjoyed how he made her feel (      he did, no point in covering it up.       ) “ who are you trying to convince with that ? i’m fully aware it’s not mine, do you need some help in figuring out whoever elses it could be ? covered in the blood of a dead man, saskia. ” 

[deardoses]

antibcdy:

      “  look, mylee           if you’re not  okay  with me going, i’m sure i could find a way out.  ”   funny.   this was the first  (  and likely the only  )  time he’d  ever  considered her feelings.  “  you understand, right  ?  why i  have  to do this  ?  ”  whether he’s trying to convince her or himself, he’s unaware. there stood a fine line between justifications  &  excuses, and he’s standing on the edge of both.  destructive,  he finds  amusement  in the way he’s increasing the distance between them within each spoken word he’s so  disgustingly  proud to mutter.  “  that’s not true. your opinion  does  matter to me.  ”  that’s  rich.  the mindset didn’t seem of value as the constant lies about his whereabouts spilled through his teeth.  (  ‘  out with the bros  ’  read code for  ‘  sleeping with someone that  isn’t  you.  ’  )  “  i didn’t know what to say, fuck. i’ve  supposedly  been single for months, right  ?  so what was my excuse  THIS  time  ?  ”

      she’s rolling her eyes; as if he even meant it. if she did so happen to say anything he’d end up lying straight to her face like the many times prior. “ oh that’s funny. let me guess, i’ll beg you to get out of it. you’ll say you’ve.. figured it out. days from now, you’ve suspiciously got plans made yet again. but its just a night with the ‘bros’ ” she’s just about had enough. getting tired of him pretending she meant something to him more than just a quick fuck when he couldn’t get who he wanted. everything he said was only feeding into the fire in her head, “ i don’t fucking know, maybe i wouldn’t be so bothered if you’d man up and be honest about how you fucking feel for once. maybe i’d move on, you can go and fuck and blindly date whoever the hell you want. ” she’s seething. moving forwards so he’s got no other choice but to look her in the eyes. “ if my opinion was worth anything to you, you wouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place. you would’t be fucking someone new every other night, we wouldn’t be in this situation you asshole. ”

[deardoses]

gonna b adding a couple more muses before i start drafts