Letters to Drew

I am X, and these are my letters to U.

[deardrew-blog1]

02.02.17

It is not rare to find people who still believe in love. But it is rare to find people who stay in love.

[deardrew-blog1]

01.23.17

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself. To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and love more. Remember: The time to love is short. (author unknown)

[deardrew-blog1]

Love

If love is the most beautiful thing in the world, then why does it give you pain?

[deardrew-blog1]

01.13.17

Dear Drew,

I took the bus this morning and I hated it because it made me think of you throughout the whole trip. The movie that was played in the bus made me in tears because all I could think about was you and the moments we shared together. This is why I hate seeing romantic movies lately. The love songs get into my heart and it feels like it is being pulled and pricked by the beautifully made lyrics. I thought blocking you on social media and deleting your contact number would help me but it still didn’t. I could not fathom why you still have this effect on me after everything that has happened, after leaving me and breaking my heart. You still enter my thoughts every freaking day. How can I forget you when you don’t get tired of running in my head? There are times that your name will suddenly appear out of nowhere when I try not to think of you. I will pass by a road and see a store named “Drew”. I check on Waze and a street named “Drew” appears on the map. Why are you doing this to me? Or is it just me thinking of you most of the time? Do I miss you or do I just miss the idea of you?

I hate this feeling that I have for you. It just can’t fade. Sometimes I get optimistic about moving on and moving forward but there are times that it feels like something is preventing me from doing it and forgetting about you.

If you’re somehow reading this, please do me a favor. Get out of my head and let me move on.

X

[deardrew-blog1]

01.07.17

Dear Drew,

Tonight, I took another peek at this message from you from two years ago. A boyfriend like you is rare. I couldn’t believe I had you because you were too good to be true.

I remember the time when I took a trip to Vietnam and I was so excited to tell you how cheap it is to buy authentic North Face bags in Ho Chi Minh because most of its products are made in Vietnam. You were so surprised and could not believe it because they are too cheap. And then you warned me by saying “Babe, things that are too good to be true aren’t all true.” But I didn’t believe you and I still went to buy those North Face bags. Believe it or not, they are genuine, still good and very sturdy.

Yes, you were too good to be true. Most of my friends used to tell me that. But as hard-headed as I can be, I'd still like to believe that the thing we had, the moments we shared and the words you said, were all true.

I hope that someday I’d hear that one word from you, that despite leaving me, the love you had for me was “real”.

X

[deardrew-blog1]

11.19.16

Dear Drew,

A lot is happening in our country, you know, political and social issues. The elections have finished, new leaders have taken their posts and the social network has become a pool of people claiming themselves righteous and “political experts”. I would like to know your opinion. It’s quite distressing to read negativities on your Facebook feed, every single day. Facebook, a platform where you could share updates about your life for your friends to be in the know, is not social and fun anymore. It is not functioning the way it should really be. I’m sure you also noticed it. I remember you mentioned that you wanted to deactivate your account but you can’t because it is the only way you can stay connected with your long-distance friends. Although you are a Political Science major, you try to keep yourself from the keyboard and from posting your political thoughts on Facebook, so you talk to me instead. This is why I miss you in times like this. I miss our no non-sense conversations, how we argue and eventually agree on some issues and most especially, I miss how you could eloquently explain yourself and make good points that will leave me in awe. The number of books in your room suggests how intelligent you are. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm drawn to you. Not only you are funny, kind, sweet, caring, hardworking, compassionate, responsible, patient, supportive, but you are also smart! In short, you are my ideal guy.

Would I still find someone like you? Perhaps better than you?

X

[deardrew-blog1]

11.18.16

Dear Drew,

It’s Friday so my mom and I went to church today. You know I love hearing mass even on weekdays. You mentioned that you usually buy cheap DVDs near the place. But I don’t remember if you’ve ever went inside this church because it is usually packed. You dislike crowded places that’s why you also hate taking the train. So I assume you did not. Anyways, while waiting for the celebration to start, my mom randomly asked me “What if Drew comes back and asks for your hand in marriage, would you say yes?” I didn’t answer. She then assured me that it is just a hypothetical question and that she can accept a hypothetical answer from me. “Okay then, maybe yes.” I said.

“Maybe” because I don’t want to expect and wait for you to come back. “Yes” because I still do have a bit of spark of hope and I still do love you.

However, I trust God, that He will give me the desires of my heart and bring the right man in front of me when I am ready. It might still be you, or it might be not. However, I’m sure it is not too soon but who knows?

X

[deardrew-blog1]

11.12.16

Dear Drew,

I believe you are my greatest heartbreak. Would that also mean you are my greatest love? Who would have thought that our story would end? We both knew we are our each other’s soulmate. We both believed that we are destined to meet. I could still hold on to that belief because it may be true that we can have a number of soulmates; and you are one of them. Each of our soulmates has a purpose in our lives. Some may stay for good and some may leave for a reason and to give you a lesson.

You are my soulmate; the soulmate who left yet helped me bring back my missing pieces.

You are the soulmate who made me get to know myself better.

You are the soulmate who reminded me to love myself first.

You are the soulmate who made me realize that being true to one’s self is a pre-requisite of love.

You are the soulmate who instilled in me the essence of patience.

You are the soulmate who reminded me that quitting is never an option.

You are the soulmate who taught me not to give up on my dreams and to keep on reaching them.

You are the soulmate who made me stick to my values.

You are the soulmate who made me believe that everything happens for a reason.

Had destiny not allowed our souls to meet, I wouldn’t have realized all these. Our break-up is helping me become a better person each day and discover my true self, little by little. Moving on is definitely a difficult process but eventually it’ll be easy with time.

Although our souls have already parted ways, I will always be reminded that I have met a soulmate named Drew.

X

[deardrew-blog1]

11.05.16

Dear Drew,

Last night, I dreamed about you. I saw your SUV parked in front of my house. You looked so tired. You must have slept inside your Toyota the whole night waiting for me to open my door.

You greeted me “Good morning” and I asked why you’re here.

You answered “I’ll bring you to school.”

My stomach went topsy-turvy. I wanted to hug you so tight until you can’t breathe.

I went up and entered the SUV.

And then the dawn woke me up.

I miss you.

X

[deardrew-blog1]

10.24.16

Dear Drew,

It’s been 14 months since we’ve broken up and I can honestly say that I’ve already moved on from the pain but not totally from you. Not a single day goes by without thinking about you.

Yes, I still miss you.

Every day, I lurk on your profile to see how you are doing but each time I’m there I get a pang of longing.

I need to help myself.

I need to muster up the courage to stop this addiction.

I hope blocking you on Facebook will help me let go and move on.

X

[deardrew-blog1]

09.22.16

Dear Drew,

I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.

X