#lettertoex

[escapinginreality]

KAMUSTA KA NA?

Kamusta ka na? Okay ka lang ba?

Simula noong nag break tayo, wala na akong balita sayo. Hindi ko alam kung okay ka na, naka move on ka na sa masamang nangyari sayo. Alam mo naman sa sarili mo kung bakit ako nakipaghiwalay sayo. Hindi na healthy ang relasyon natin, hindi na maaring ipagpatuloy pa dahil sa tagal ng panahon na hindi tayo nagkakaintindihan, hindi tayo gumagawa ng paraan para maibalik yung “spark”. Akala ko, wala lang saakin yung break up natin, akala ko hindi kita mamimiss, hindi na ako iiyak. Pero nang i-stalk kita sa facebook, hindi mo pa rin dinedelete pictures natin. Bakit? Siguro, wala ka pang oras para aalisin yun dahil bihira ka nalang mag online. Naging assuming tuloy ako. Makapal ba mukha ko na ako yung nakipagbreak tapos umaasa pa rin ako nababalikan mo ko balang araw? Alam ko naman kasi na malabo. Nakakatawa nga eh, yung puso ko kasi ayaw na magbalikan tayo, pero yung isip ko yung nagsasabi na baka PWEDE PA. Baliktad no? Manhid na kasi yung puso ko. Sa dalawang taon na nagsama tayo, sa unang pitong buwan lang ang masasabi kong matatawag ko na relasyon. Iniisip ko, nasaktan ka ba noong nakipagbreak ako? umiyak ka ba? Pero, naiisip ko rin na mukhang hindi ka naman nasaktan dahil parang wala lang sayo noong sinabi ko sa mga kaibigan mo na wala na tayo. Nakakatawa na habang tinatype ko to naiiyak ako, sabayan pa ng kanta na Til I die. Hahaha. Hayy. “Its hard to believe that you weren’t meant for me” Akala ko talaga tayo na hanggang huli. Akala ko lang yun. Ang hilig ko kasi umasa, mag assume, at maniwala sa happily ever after. Dapat pala hindi ako nanunuod ng mga love story eh, lalo akong umaasa na magkakaroon din ako ng happy love story. Heto na nga pala ako, malapit na mag graduate. Sayang, hindi na natin magagawa yung mga plano sana natin. Sana mahanap mo yung taong para sayo talaga. Yung taong makakapagpasaya sayo. Maraming salamat sa mga aral na binigay mo. God bless you :)

[deardrew-blog1]

11.05.16

Dear Drew,

Last night, I dreamed about you. I saw your SUV parked in front of my house. You looked so tired. You must have slept inside your Toyota the whole night waiting for me to open my door.

You greeted me “Good morning” and I asked why you’re here.

You answered “I’ll bring you to school.”

My stomach went topsy-turvy. I wanted to hug you so tight until you can’t breathe.

I went up and entered the SUV.

And then the dawn woke me up.

I miss you.

X

[youreyesdontknowmeyet-posts-blog]

Para kay ex

Dear Ex,

Sinulat ko to hindi dahil mahal pa kita o di pa ako naka move on sayo. Kundi dahil napapasalamat ako dahil dumating ka sa buhay ko. Alam mo sa isang taon at kalahating buwan na magkasama tayo, wala akong iniisip kundi ikaw lang. Wala akong pakialam kung anong nangyayari sa paligid ko as long as kasama kita. Hindi ko na nga iniisip yung sarili ko.

 May mga bagay lamang akong gustong sabihin sayo. Una, Patawad kung hindi ako naging mabuting girlfriend sayo, patawad kung mga may bagay akong hindi nilinaw sayo na dapat nung una pa lang ng relasyon natin ay nasabi kona. Patawad kung sa tingin mo hindi ako worth it sayo. Patawad kung nagsinungaling ako. Patawad kung nagsinungaling ka din sa akin, sa hindi pagsabi sakin ng totoong pangalan mo. Nakakapagtaka lang talaga nuh? Sa isang taon at anim na buwan nakaya mong hindi sabihin sakin yan. Na kaya mong maglihim. Sino ba naman ako diba? Isang fifth teen years old na babae na nainlove sa isang twenty-two na lalake.  Mas marami kang alam saken sa mga oras na yan. Samantala ako wala akong alam sayo. Tila nahihiya ka pa ngang ipakilala ako sa iyong magulang. Pero okay lang, naiintindihan ko. Pangalawa, Thank you. Salamat dahil nakilala kita. Salamat dahil natiis mo ako dahil sa ugali ko. Salamat sa mga effort na nagawa mo. Salamat sa lahat lahat.

 Hindi ako nagsisi na minahal kita at nakilala kita. Siguro sinisisi ko lang ang sarili ko dahil minahal kita ng sobra to the point na wala nang natira sakin. Nasa point na ako ng kailangan kong mamili. Ang iwan ka dahil di ko na kaya yung mga nangyayari o iwan kita para maging Malaya kana. Pwede naman ang dalawa diba? Wala naman akong choice kundi ang dalawa na hindi ko na kasi kaya at nararamdaman ko na gusto mo nang maging Malaya. I think I made a right decision diba?

 I hope and wishing na sa susunod na babaeng mamahalin mo e kaya mo na syang iharap sa pamilya mo. Sana kung magkikita man tayo, accidentally or not papansinin mo pa rin ako. Kasi may isasauli pa ako sayo e! Yung mga alala nating dalawa nakatatak na yun sa puso’t isip ko.

 Maraming Salamat sayo.

 Love, Christine

[rsav-us]

I must say that I got your request a while ago, but I haven’t done anything with it. If I listen to what everyone else says, I should just delete it and act like it never happened and move on with my life once again. But there’s this part of me that keeps nagging me and telling me not to hit that deny button.

After I hadn’t heard from you in weeks after the Holiday’s, I was left with no other choice than to pick up the pieces of my life, my heart, my soul and start again. I went through one of the toughest and darkest times of my life getting over you and trying not to think that this was all somehow my fault in the end. That maybe if I had been smaller, stood straighter, had longer hair, darker hair, been more adventurous, or spoke Spanish, maybe you wouldn’t have moved to Puerto Rico and left me behind without a second glance. But it really wasn’t me, was it? It couldn’t possibly be. I was good to you. I loved you whole-heartedly. I put my faith, my heart, my everything into you. Into us. I told you things that I couldn’t bear to tell anyone because of the hurt and deep sorrow it brought me. In the end, it wasn’t enough. In the end, family won out (not that I can blame you), and I was tossed aside like yesterday’s trash. I wasn’t spoken to, wasn’t made to believe that there was anything left to fight for.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I had cried over you at night. How many times I would just sob and sob for hours because I had fought so hard from the beginning for something that wasn’t worth it in the end for you to even tell me goodbye. I couldn’t tell you how many times I prayed to God above and asked him to make you realize what you had done to me. I couldn’t tell you how many times I screamed for a peaceful ending so I no longer had to feel the stabbing pain in my chest and prayed that no one would see the true amount of my depression and angst.

It took me a long, hard month of getting over you; for me to finally see that I am beautiful, I am smart, I am caring to a fault, I am WORTH IT. You may have never thought so, but I am worth it. After that month, I had to delete every aspect of you from my life; your number, your things, anything that left any sort of a tie to you. I had to change my thoughts, my heart, and my happiness. I had made reconciliation with myself that I would never have any answers as to why it happened the way it did. I made reconciliation with the fact that I knew I would never hear from you again.

Imagine my surprise when I opened my Facebook and saw your request. I didn’t know what to do, I still don’t know what to do about that if I speak honestly. More importantly, I need to know why.  Why now? Why do you feel like now is the time to try to talk to me? Why over Facebook? I haven’t talked to you in months. I haven’t heard a peep from you in months. Why do you feel this need to make contact?

I thought I would just sit down and type what my feelings were and just save it for my own personal use, a sort of therapy, but I think you need to read this too, to know the pain and hell you put me through.

[maramcmthisismystory]

A Letter to the Person I used to Love

We were that close before, but people change.

Don't tell me you have your reasons and your reasons are for me. Because if it was for me, you should've never left me in the dust.

But I'm not mad anymore. I've moved on and realized how blessed I was to be able to breathe again. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for making me see that life isn't always smiles and giggles. 

I've moved forward. I have a new life now, I life without you. We may become friends, but not as close as before. I have a boyfriend now. He's the best. I hate comparing him to you but i have to. Just so maybe, you might finally realize how much of an asshole you were when we were together.

I love my boyfriend for a lot of reasons. First maybe is, I'm never afraid of him. We're friends, like we've never been. I never feel afraid whenever i came in late. When we were together, you would always get mad and ignore me for coming in late but not him. When I'm late, he'd ask why, or did i have a hard time commuting, or am i tired, or how am i. He'd patiently wait for me without complaining. Unlike you, who would literally see me like a ghost.

He's man enough to face my family and friends. He's never shy or arrogant enough to face them. He'll converse with them openly and make me feel like he's also courting them. Unlike you who never had the guts to face my mom or dad, or just to simply talk a sentence long. You hate it when my high school best friend would come along with us. My boyfriend likes my friends. he's the one who'd gladly tag along.

He's proud of me. One of the best things about my boyfriend is that he always introduces me to the people he's with. he would even show off his wallet to his friends because my photo's in it. You were a jerk when we were together, you never bothered introducing me to your friends, you acted like i didnt exist. Why do you have to wait for your friends to notice that someone was actually with you. 

He understands my moodswings. You never did. Whenever i'd have one, you never dealt with them. You'd get mad at me for being unreasonable unlike my boyfriend who would laugh at me and actually find it cute and comfort me if ever i become a total wreck. 

He does things for me. You made me do things for you. He'd buy me medicines, go get my stuff, have my thesis printed while you have to ask me to print your papers and drive from my school to your school just to deliver these files.

He gives me comfort foods, comfort hugs and reassuring smiles. You dismisses me after you ran out of patience. Oh i didnt mean to not count your i love yous but that's not enough to tell a girl that you really do love her.

He's got plans for us. You never had.

He prepares for valentines while you never even gave me anything, not a single letter or a text message.

He wants me to be with his family while i never even met yours. Two years and you never opened me to your family.

You told me now, that the reason you left was because you want to become a better person for me. Why tell me now? Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could've understood why. But you never told me the real reason. My boyfriend wasn't perfect, but he showed me he's willing enough to become a better person while you just shut me out and now you're telling me this? 

There's more to say on the list. but I wouldnt go down just to tell you how complicated it was then for us.We had great times, i admit, but God has reasons. 

I love him. not because he's better than you; But because he makes earth feel a little more like heaven and i think that's how love should be. So thank you for the memories, for the past and for the lessons.

I wish you all the best. No matter what happens, I still wish that you become successful in life. We can never change the fact that i've loved you. Simply, I just moved on.

[justuniquediamond]

An anonymous letter to an ex.

Dear Ex,

First of all, I forgive you. It's been many years since, and I think I can now safely say that I don't hate you anymore, though I have to admit that movies where a girl is hurt by her cheating boyfriend make me oh-so-angry and sobby-sad. In fact, I miss you. I miss my friend to whom I would have confided all the empathy I felt towards the wronged heroine in the movie. Isn't that just funny? I guess that's what happens when you break ties with your best friend.

I'm doing okay. Would love to hear how you're doing now—yes, even the part about being a husband and a father. I'm still doing the work that I love, and I'm able to squeeze in travel and scuba diving. My life's pretty good, I must say. And I am sure, so is yours. We both never were the kind to be unappreciative of what we had and who we were. Other than that, I don't really have much to say. We've each traversed very different paths since. So different, that we've not even bumped into each other for almost a decade now. Deliberate on your part, perhaps? Sometimes, I wonder if we would still be friends if we didn't have a bad breakup. I can hardly imagine your wife being okay with that though. So I think that the way things are is really how they’re supposed to be. So let's continue enjoying the lives that we've each made for ourselves, and know that deep in our hearts, we wish each other well.

      My Footnote:

Well, hopefully all exes would be as positive as the writer of that letter. But then you cannot tell anyone to be like that because their personality upon their exes depends on the situation they've gone through a particular relationship. But one must learn how to move on, to forgive especially if the end of relationship had taken a lot of years or a long time ago. We must live life to the fullest, and instead of curling up in a ball, hiding in your safe zone why not explore the world and let yourself have a satisfying and glorious pleasure of experiences. Stay positive everyone!! :))

[maartejade]

Dear Bab,

Today's supposed to be our 7th month right? If you stayed..

I miss you. I miss everything about you. The long text messages, staying up late just to talk to you, waking up to a new day knowing that you belong to me and I belong to you. But all of those are just memories now. Memories that I will forever treasure, remember, and cherish. 

I know you are happy with your life now. A life that excludes me. :( I'm sorry for all the painful things that I said to you when you broke up with me. It's just that as a defense, I have to make myself believe that everything that we had is just a lie. A beautiful dream turned into a nightmare. 

Right now, I'm perfectly okay. Not the way I was before, but somehow not that miserable now. I can now go to sleep without crying because of what happened to us. I don't wake up at 2am just to cry myself again back to sleep. I learned how to stop checking my phone every five minutes because I finally accepted that you are not going to text me ever. I also stopped checking your facebook profile. But sometimes, I can't help but just read your status updates. You seem perfectly fine. And perfectly happy. You don't look like you ever felt pain. Maybe you weren't hurt at all. 

Anyway, I am glad that you weren't moping around like I did. I am glad that you seem so happy and contented and satisfied now that I'm out of your life. Though it hurts me, but still I have to be happy for you. 

Bab. I love you. I always do, I always will. You know how lost I felt when you left. I struggled. A lot. I feel so alone. Until now. But not as much. I know you don't care about me. You are just glad that finally, YOU'RE FREE. :> 

All I care about is your happiness, Bab. If you are happy now, then I am happy for you too. It's just that I still haven't forgiven myself for falling hard for you. I thought you'd be there to catch me every time I did. But the last time I fell, you didn't catch me. You walked away instead, even after seeing how broken I am.

Happy 7th, Bab. Please be happy all the time. I know you're not coming back, but if ever you change your mind, remember that I'm still here waiting for you. I will be here, even if you don't need me anymore.

Bab. I feel empty though. I feel like numb. So numb. Actually, this is what I prayed for after you left. That I become numb so that I won't be able to feel all the pain because it's too much. I know I wouldn't be able to survive. I can't bear it all alone. When you left, you also took my best friend away. You know you're the only one I share my darkest secrets with, my biggest fears. We use to face my fears together. Now I have to face it alone. :(

But you're happy now. No matter how much I want to be included in your life once more, I know you won't let me. So just enjoy your life now, Bab. I am not going to mess up with it anymore. :( Thanks for the memories. I love you. I miss you. I am thinking of you.. All the time. Just be happy..

[ngititayokaibigan]

I FINALLY MOVED ON!

Dear YOU, 

I don't delete. I don't block. Maybe I did but returned it back. It's just that there's no reason for me to feel bitter about everything that had happened. I don't care if you'll be able to see this (hopefully you will). What's important is that I'm able to release everything that's inside. 

I forgive but never forget. All the things from the past still remains. In my heart, in my mind - everything is stored. There's a reason behind all things. I can't say that we were really not meant for each other. We were. The thing is, we're not meant to stay long forever together. Only God knows why this happened. Still not clear for me. Maybe that's the hardest part - me trying to understand but never got the chance to hear enough and true explanations from you. Which is true, which is not? Which are which?! 

I was able to accept everything. Starting from the day you got so busy and really didn't had a second to talk to me made me think that there's something going to happen soon. I prepared myself for whatever may happen and expected things to happen. No doubts, my thoughts were right. You gave up, I was tired holding on so I ended everything. It was hard. Giving up someone you love is not easy. But I have no choice.

After a few days you asked for a second chance. I gave it because I still love you. But here you go again, failed to manage your time but I was still the same - never pressured you in giving me even a few minutes just to talk to me. I waited, and waited, and waited. Until you gave up again. Haha! Poor me, eh? You gave me shocking reasons, explanations and whatsoevers. Well, thanks for admitting that it's you who had a problem. I appreciate that, really. It's just that you know that all I wanted is you to be honest. I know you know that our friends knew what happened. They gave me their opinion about it. But it's too late. You were the one who requested to delete your number and from you we heard you'll never contact us again. For me it's okay. But didn't you realize the friendship you built with them? You know whom I'm talking about. THEM. It's okay if you'll hurt me. I can handle. But the thing is, they are your friends too. It's not a good reason to leave them like that because of what happened to us. 

Oh well. Maybe I said a lot. And I'm not really sure if this piece of shit will reach you. I'm not mad at you. Honestly. I hate building grudges. You're still the same for me. I mean, how I met and knew you. All are in place. I know you're happy, I hope you are. You're still young. You'll meet other girls better than me. I know. As what you've said. It's just hard to have a kind of relationship that we had. 

I forgot to tell you... Thank you for everything. For the efforts you've shown, the laughter you shared, sweet conversations, jokes that we throw, and of course for the love you gave me for the short period of time. I didn't expected to end it soon but it already happened. Those misunderstandings and little fights we had will serve as a lesson for the both of us. Everything that had happened is a lesson for you, for me as well. I never regretted meeting you, giving my time and exert effort for you, and of course loving you. It happened. And that's the reason why I feel okay. I don't feel bad because we ended. I'm happy because it happened. Soon, you'll forget me - all about me. Hmmm. I think you already did starting the day we ended our relationship. As I've said, I never forget. It's all up to you.

Oh! Last thing! I never said how proud I am having someone talented like you. I was a proud girlfriend. :) And now, I'm still a proud friend. Good luck to your career. I know how much you love doing that. Study hard too. I'm happy of what you will become in the future. Take care!

From, ME