It&#x27;s not delivery, it&#x27;s my son.

dearestdaddydio:

[His son might have a point. Things are not the same as the century he was originally born in.]

I don’t like it, but you do have a point perhaps. /Ah but with good reason though. Misty is a very suspicious person.

Very well, as long as it isn’t Misty I’m fine with it. But there is one more thing I need to tell you.

Mista. It’s Mista. And he isn’t suspicious. You just scare him.

What is it you need to tell me now?

Whatever.

If you are going to start dating...We need to go over the bird and the bees

dearestdaddydio:

But you’re so young! You shouldn’t be having a girlfriend…or boyfriend for that matter!

I’m old enough to date. Besides you wouldn’t approve of anyone I date. You almost killed Mista that one time I brought him home and we weren’t even dating you just thought we were.

[His son might have a point. Things are not the same as the century he was originally born in.]

I don’t like it, but you do have a point perhaps. /Ah but with good reason though. Misty is a very suspicious person.

Very well, as long as it isn’t Misty I’m fine with it. But there is one more thing I need to tell you.

dearestdaddydio:

Girlfriend?!

Oh yes. Did I forget to tell you about that?

But you’re so young! You shouldn’t be having a girlfriend...or boyfriend for that matter!

Girlfriend?!

dearestdaddydio:

Stop sassing me! I know what the letters stand for!

Just drive Damn it!

Fine fine!

[He hits the gas and– A tire on the car pops.]

…Hm…

#dadslittledonut #I hope your insurance covers this

What did you do?

dearestdaddydio replied to your post: dearestdaddydio replied to your post: …

How does prohibiting garlic in this house not letting you live your life?!

I’m Italian! Garlic is my life!

.....Giorno, You have no ounce of Italian in your blood. You are half Japanese and a wanker.

dearestdaddydio:

Giorno! I said handle the cops…Why do you think my solution to all my problems involves murder?

[He can’t believe what his son is saying.]

…You said you knew how to drive. How do you know how to drive if you don’t even know the basics, which is the prindle.

….You mean the gear shift? With letters on it PRNDL? The letters that stand for Park Reverse Neutral Drive and Low?

Now I’m positive you don’t have a license Padre.

Stop sassing me! I know what the letters stand for!

Just drive Damn it!

dearestdaddydio:

….Do you think I can’t handle a couple of officers of the law? As you just said, I am an immortal vampire, the law bends to my will.

[He takes a seat in the passenger seat.]

Come on, move the prindle out of drive.

Please don’t kill the co-

[wait what did he just call the gear shift? Giorno had to call him out on this hold up.]

What did you just say? Prindle? What is that?

#dadslittledonut #What do you expect me to do in the mornings?

Giorno! I said handle the cops...Why do you think my solution to all my problems involves murder?

[He can’t believe what his son is saying.]

...You said you knew how to drive. How do you know how to drive if you don’t even know the basics, which is the prindle.

dearestdaddydio:

[He pays little to no attention to the teenager’s struggles. He then proceeds to throw his child. in the driver’s seat.]

Let’s put you up for the test then. Show me how well you can drive.

I refuse. What if we get pulled over by the cops? How do I explain my immortal vampire father and his lack of a license to the cops?

....Do you think I can’t handle a couple of officers of the law? As you just said, I am an immortal vampire, the law bends to my will.

[He takes a seat in the passenger seat.]

Come on, move the prindle out of drive.

dearestdaddydio:

Now don’t be shy son. I know you must be nervous, but I have complete trust in you and you will do fine.

I didn’t get that last part, but it matters not.

[The vampire grabs the fruit of his loins and throws him over his shoulder.]

The night is still young, we mustn’t keep it waiting.

Wait no! This is just like last time; you can’t just throw me over your shoulder like this! I already know how to drive!

[He pays little to no attention to the teenager’s struggles. He then proceeds to throw his child. in the driver’s seat.]

Let’s put you up for the test then. Show me how well you can drive.

dearestdaddydio:

Precisely. We don’t have all night now. I convinced Pucci to lend me his car. Grab the keys, we’re heading out right now.

This sounds like the opposite of a good idea. Do you even have a licence?

Now don’t be shy son. I know you must be nervous, but I have complete trust in you and you will do fine.

I didn’t get that last part, but it matters not.

[The vampire grabs the fruit of his loins and throws him over his shoulder.]

The night is still young, we mustn’t keep it waiting.

dearestdaddydio:

He was most definitely cheating. I refuse to accept that Vanilla Ice has the skills to defeat me at a board game match.

Back to the topic at hand, you are sixteen and have yet to required a driver’s license.

Whatever you say Padre.

…Are you trying to tell me you want to teach me how to drive?

Precisely. We don’t have all night now. I convinced Pucci to lend me his car. Grab the keys, we’re heading out right now.

dearestdaddydio:

What why would you be afraid? Have any of my ideas ever put you in peril? And actually, in this case, I might be the one who ends up afraid depending on your abilities.

I don’t know. That one time we were playing Monopoly and Vanilla Ice was winning you nearly destroyed half the house so…

What are we going to do? What are you making me do?

#Do you see where I'm going with this giorno #dadslittledonut

He was most definitely cheating. I refuse to accept that Vanilla Ice has the skills to defeat me at a board game match.

Back to the topic at hand, you are sixteen and have yet to required a driver’s license.

dearestdaddydio:

Giorno! Come here I have something the two of us can do right now!

What is it? Should I be afraid?

#I missed you too my son #dadslittledonut

What why would you be afraid? Have any of my ideas ever put you in peril? And actually, in this case, I might be the one who ends up afraid depending on your abilities.

Giorno! Come here I have something the two of us can do right now!

#I believe it is time #dadslittledonut

[every ounce of anxiety he had vanished the moment Dio said the word homie. Why was Giorno even nervous in the first place? He knew his father better than that. He knew better than to think Dio could go ten minutes without being his weird self again.]

I’m fine. I, uh, have to clean my room now. Bye.

[He had to use all his self restraint to not say anything.]

[Completely oblivious to the embarrassment he was causing his son, he continued with his shenanigans.]

Giorno wait! I still not have shown you how “fly” I can be!

[The vampire covered half of his face with his left arm. His right arm paralleled his left arm. Dabbing was a sure way to impress his son.]

[This was not acceptable. How could let this happen under his own roof? Sure, Giorno is a teenage boy, and he has more responsibility than the average adolescence, but that was no excuse for his room being an utter mess. Coming from his prestige bloodline, such display was disgraceful.]

Giorno! Present yourself!

[Why did Dio always want to talk to him when he was up to very important mafia boss things? Oh well.]

Padre? What’s wrong?

[Was this child being serious? Did he not see that atrocity that was the boy’s room? He turned his head to make eye contact with his son.]

Can you really look me dead in the eye and not see what is wrong?

[He looked around his room and then back at Dio. Sure his room was a little messy but it wasn’t THAT bad. It could be much worse.]

In my defense I’ve been pretty busy this past week so I haven’t had time to properly clean my room. Is that why you’re so mad?

[Judging by the look of his son’s face, he showed no real concern for the condition his room was. The vampire was pretty sure he didn’t raise his son this way.]

It’s just one endless excuse after another. Yes, I understand you have responsibilities that most people you’re age wouldn’t have. But you still live under my house and as such, you must keep up with you’re chores. That being said, you are to start cleaning your quarters this instance.

[Did he really give Dio that many excuses to get out of cleaning his room? Honestly Dio’s seriousness was starting to get to the teen and make him a little nervous.]

But I’ve got plans in an hour, I’ll never finish by then… Maybe I could do half now and half later? I can’t be late that would be rude.

[The vampire took notice of the teenager’s rising anxiety. What did the boy have to be so squeamish about? He is a good father by his standards. Thinking on it, maybe he was being too much of a parent. Being too strict was probably making the boy nervous.}

...Am I making you nervous? You have no reason to be intimidated by me. Other people do, but we don’t need to address that. As I was saying, as your father, I have high expectations of you and expect you to abide by my rules. With that being said, I am not trying to run this household on tyranny. Therefore, you don’t need to act all awkward around me.

[He placed his hand on Giorno’s shoulder.]

I am not just your father...I am also your...homie.