YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS READY TO TELL HER!! SHE WAS FINALLY FEELING ALMOST SAFE ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO COME OUT ON HER OWN TERMS TO THE ONE WHO HAS WAITED BY HER SIDE, PATIENTLY WAITING ALL THIS TIME. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE THINKS IT’S ALL RUINED!!!!! SHE HAD A TASTE OF REAL SISTERHOOD AND FEMALE FRIENDSHIP AND BEING ONE OF THE GIRLS WITHOUT ANY “IF” AND “BUT”. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE IS OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER ALREADY. AND SHE IS OUT TO TRANSPHOBIC ASSHOLES. SHE KNOWS THAT HER DEAREST FRIENDS WILL LOVE AND ACCEPT HER AND UNDERSTAND HER BUT SHE CANNOT TAKE THE CREEPING DOUBT THAT THEY’RE JUST BEING KIND OUT OF PITY AND ACTING LIKE NOTHING’S DIFFERENT WHEN TO MIZUKI EVERYTHING’S CHANGED!!! BECAUSE NOW THEY KNOW TOO AND SHE CANNOT TAKE THE THOUGHT OF THEM NOW NOT SEEING HER AS A “REAL GIRL”, AS HER BULLIES PUT IT. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE TORE THE DRESSES AND BROKE HER MIRROR AND BLINDFOLDED HER EYES. SHE IS THAT REPULSIVE!! WHY COULDNT SHE BE BORN A “”REAL”” GIRL!!!! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS SO SCARED OF THEM FINDING OUT, ESPECIALLY ENA, AND NOW ENA FOUND OUT IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE!!! YOU DONT UNDERSTANDDDDD SHE WAS SCARED OF COMING OUT BUT ALSO IT WAS EATING AWAY AT HER AND MAKING HER DISTANCE HERSELF FROM THE REST OF NIIGO AND IT WAS ONLY THROUGH ENA’S KINDNESS AND INSISTENCE THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO NOT DISTANCE HERSELF COMPLETELY FROM THE OTHERS, BUT THAT ONLY MEANS THAT NOW IT HURTS THAT MUCH MORE TO LOSE THEM!!! AND LOSING THEM NOT EVEN BECAUSE THEY REJECTED HER BUT BECAUSE SHE REJECTED THEM BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN FACE THEM!!! YOU. DONT. UNDERSTAND. SHE IS GONE FROM THE REAL WORLD, SHE IS DEPICTED LIKE SHE IS ABOUT TO BE HANGED, BLINDFOLDED, OFFERING HER NECK, DEFEATED, AS THE LACES SHE SO CHERISHED FORM A LOOP IN THE FOREFRONT OF THE ILLUSTRATION, AS IF THEY ARE HER ROPE. SHE IS DISSOCIATED AND SUICIDAL AND IS ISOLATING HERSELF. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHE WAS ALWAYS SMILING AND PUTTING ON A BRAVE FACE – ALWAYS READING THE ROOM AND HELPING ENA, KANADE, AND MAFUYU WITH THEIR STRUGGLES, BIG AND SMALL, SIMPLY BC THEY WERE HER PRECIOUS FRIENDS!! YOU DONT. UNDERSTAND. SHE WAS ALREADY SUICIDAL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, WHEN SHE WAS REPRESSING HERSELF AND REJECTING HER TRANSNESS, SHORT HAIR AND MALE UNIFORM. NIIGO WAS THE LIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!! NIIGO WAS HER ANCHOR AND HER SAFE SPACE!! WITH NIIGO SHE COULD JUST BE “AMIA”, A GIRL, AND MAKE MUSIC AND FILL WITH LOVE AND WARMTH THOSE ENDLESS NIGHTS. SHE TRANSITIONED AFTER NIIGO GAVE HER A FEELING OF PURPOSE, “AH, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AFTER ALL.” AND IT’S ALL GONE NOW. SHE SAW ENA’S SHOCKED FACE WHEN HER CLASSMATES OUTED HER WITH THEIR TRANSPHOBIC JOKES. IT’S ALL GONE. IN AN INSTANT. “DONT LOOK AT ME”. BUT ALSO. “DONT LEAVE ME.” GODDDDDD
prguitarman
stormborns
annaxmalina
andulkaphoto
2087
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
