dear sakuaka

Now I'm even losing my name - it was getting shorter and shorter all the time and is now: Yours

[dearsakuaka]

keiji is bad with mornings but still, he tries to wake up early to see kiyoomi off. he always sets an alarm specifically meant to ring around the time kiyoomi goes on his runs just so he can prepare breakfast before he comes back. it never works though as he always ends up snoozing the alarm and going back to sleep.

today is no different.

after snoozing the first alarm, the next time keiji wakes up it's to the sight of kiyoomi, hair wet from his post-run shower, gently carding his fingers through keiji's hair. keiji, bleary-eyed, squints at him.

"k'yo'mi...? back alr'dy?" keiji frowns, voice rough from disuse. the slurring makes kiyoomi chuckle.

"yeah, it's still too early though. do you want to sleep more?"

"no..!" keiji vehemently refuses. "wanted t'make us br'kfast 'fore y'go." kiyoomi grins wider

as keiji fights through the sleepiness. the amusement settles in kiyoomi's chest and with it comes the warm feeling that only keiji is capable of giving to kiyoomi.

(oh, he's smitten.)

keiji, eyes falling close, grips on kiyoomi's hand.

"you had a long night, kei. you should rest a bit more, hm? i can make us breakfast today."

"nooooo," keiji tightens his hold on kiyoomi. "i wan' do it."

(now, keiji would tear kiyoomi a new one if he ever mentions it to him, but this is the best part about waking up keiji in the morning: he gets whiny and clingy, his inhibitions lost to the pull of sleep. it's something that only kiyoomi has the pleasure of seeing. and with anything relating to keiji, something that he treasures dearly.)

kiyoomi tamps down the laughter bubbling up his throat. the lilt in his smile the only thing giving away his mirth. not that keiji could see it anyway, eyes closed and all.

"what if we cook together instead, lovebug?" he offers an olive branch. keiji seems to think it through, turning the words slowly in his sluggish mind.

"i'll get you coffee to wake you up and then we cook?" kiyoomi entices further.

keiji hesitates, but ultimately acquiesces.

"okay..."

"great, i'll go make you your coffee."

kiyoomi tries to carefully pry his hand out of keiji's hold only for the latter to tighten his grip in response. the silence stretches as kiyoomi fails every attempt at pulling his hand out.

"you gotta let me go, keiji." kiyoomi laughs. "don't you want your coffee?"

keiji, who is decidedly more awake, only tugs kiyoomi closer.

"i want my coffee."

"then you have to let go."

"no." keiji huffs.

"keiji..."

"kiyoomi." he mimics kiyoomi's tone.

this back and forth happens a few more times before keiji seems to get drowsy again, having used what little energy he had for their banter.

only then does he finally let kiyoomi go to get his promised coffee. when kiyoomi comes back, two steaming mugs in hand, it's to the sight of keiji slumped on the headboard, snoring.

it seems cooking breakfast together will be for another day.

[dearsakuaka]

keiji would insist being the big spoon. bed time would definitely start out that way but through the night keiji will turn away, reach out for kiyoomi's arm in his sleep, and wrap it around himself. this will always rouse kiyoomi awake, amusing him to no end because he knows exactly how keiji is going to react in the morning.

("you always do this, kiyoomi."

"would you believe me if i told you you're the one wrapping yourself in my arms."

a frown and then, "i wouldn't do that."

kiyoomi stares.)

(he still pulls keiji close though when it happens.)

[dearsakuaka]

thinking of keiji and kiyoomi sitting on the court-side benches, talking in low voices. little smiles on their faces as kiyoomi fiddles with one of keiji's hands in his lap. the look in kiyoomi's eyes the softest it's ever been, mirrored in keiji's own.

everyone on the team is on break and sees the little bubble the two have made for themselves. hinata—bless him—has to reel in bokuto and atsumu and steer them away when the boisterous duo start bouncing over to where keiji and kiyoomi are sat.

the latter seem to pay them no mind—kiyoomi shuffling closer to keiji, now gripping both his hands and breaking out into a grin when keiji laughs, soft and muted by blinding all the same. hinata lets out a sigh of relief and pushes bokuto and atsumu further away from the two.

[dearsakuaka]

sakusa has never been into literature but he knows akaashi does. so, he goes out of his way to look for quotes, excerpts, and poems online to send to him. "thought you'd like this one" or "i thought of you" are his usual follow-ups. in turn, akaashi sends sakusa the title of the original works, share his thoughts and similar works, and sakusa bookmarks all of them.

akaashi doesn't learn that sakusa keeps note of everything he said until a few months passes by and sakusa quotes a line from an essay he recommended and an easy, "yeah, i remember that one. it was your favorite from that writer, no?" it makes akaashi feel seen, and truthfully, a little embarrassed that someone has been paying attention to his ramblings, even going as far as actually reading the things he recommended.

(and in complete honesty, makes his heart beat a little faster.)

it's a system that persists through the years—when baby fat is replaced by sharper edges, and the tentative nature of their relationship reaches its peak and becomes what it is now: phone calls over break, spontaneous visits when the urge to hold and be held far exceed the fatigue from a day's work, and confessions of devotion by words from people of the past when they fail to articulate their feelings on their own.

it's a system that makes the distance between osaka and tokyo just a bit more bearable.

[dearsakuaka]

"what's mine is yours" and the consequences that come with it

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi/akaashi keiji word count: 750 kiyoomi buys two of the same sweater because keiji keeps "borrowing" his but somehow both sweaters end up with keiji and now kiyoomi has to explain to his mom why he needs extra allowance for the month

"...but it's been barely two weeks..." comes the skeptical voice of his mother through the speaker. her face, taking up a fourth of the screen, frowns in concern.

it's the sakusa family's scheduled bi-monthly call. usually, kiyoomi would look forward to this—to check up on his brother's toddler, listen to his sister's stories from the country she's in, know how dad is doing and whatever new hobby his mother picked up now that the kids are out of the house—especially after he moved out for uni (not that he would admit it, of course).

now, though, is an exception.

having his mother and siblings just stare at him as he struggles to explain why he's short on money for the month is, he thinks, far harder than receiving ushijima's serve.

"i seem to have overspent it on... clothes..." kiyoomi trails off lamely

at this, his sister perks up from her part of the screen.

"is this the sweater you showed me the other day?"

kiyoomi hums in affirmation. in response, his sister raises a questioning brow.

"what happened to it? i'm pretty sure that wasn't too expensive, no?"

at this, kiyoomi pauses, nibbles on his lip as he decides how best to phrase it.

it's not like he can outright say he bought two of the same sweater on a whim and the boy he's been pining over just "borrowed" both of them without signs of planning to return it anytime soon.

1) it's not kiyoomi's smartest financial decision and;

2) kiyoomi cannot handle the teasing that would come if he ever mentions keiji to them (especially not after rambling to his sister about his crush while he was drunk off his ass).

and so, he settles for:

"i was robbed on the way home." he deadpans.

he mentally kicks himself for it. nice going, kiyoomi. you fucking loser. totally believable.

from the way the light dies inside his sister's eyes and the overall skeptic silence that comes, kiyoomi knows they're not buying it. the silence stretches that even kiyoomi himself feels the need to shift around and settles for fiddling with the ring on his pointer finger.

kiyoomi's too lost in his thoughts that the sound of the door to his apartment opening and closing makes him jump out of his skin.

"kiyoomi! i got what we needed for hotpot." keiji's voice rings from the foyer. "i didn't get the soup base you wanted so, i just picked out my favorites. i hope that's fine—oh! but i did get the lamb cut you were craving, the pork belly, and i ended up picking up clams too because motoya-kun was raving about it yesterday."

keiji's rambling comes and goes as he flutters about in the apartment.

he doesn't pause for breath which meant he wasn't exactly waiting for kiyoomi to respond; seemingly aware of kiyoomi's tendency to just listen to him after being friends for so many months.

kiyoomi unwittingly smiles as keiji keeps talking.

keiji walks behind him to transport the bags of groceries and it's only on his third trip back that kiyoomi realizes five things:

1) keiji is wearing one of kiyoomi's new sweaters.

2) another sweater is tucked in the corner of keiji's elbow.

3) kiyoomi is still on the phone with his family.

4) keiji doesn't know he's in call with his family.

5) kiyoomi does not tell keiji he's in a call with his family soon enough.

so, really, he can't blame keiji for the casual way he stops behind kiyoomi, a sweater on his person and an identical one in his hand.

"i forgot i had both with me so, i had to stop by my... apart... ment... " keiji trails off when he sees the phone propped on the table, kiyoomi's ears flushed red, and the phone call still ongoing on the screen.

"oh my goodness! i'm so sorry to intrude!" keiji yelps and scrambles to the kitchen, babbling about washing the vegetables and cutting the meat.

when keiji is out of the room, kiyoomi braves a look at his phone. varying levels of amusement—that only his brother seems to try to hide—greet him. the dread settles heavily in his chest.

of course, it's his sister that pipes up first, smile predatory and sharp.

"so, you were robbed, huh?"

(needless to say, kiyoomi does get sent extra that month but with the promise of filling his mom in about this keiji person his siblings keep teasing him about on their next scheduled call.)

[strawberrybutterblush]

🪴🌿🌱

[nichetales-archived]

Sneak peak of Pendulum Eclipse, my piece for the @akaashizine! There are tons of outstanding contributors to this zine and I’m so honored to be included! Please take a look and support all the hard work~

[dearsakuaka]

they're cuddling in bed. kiyoomi on top of keiji, resting his chin on his chest to look up at him. they're talking about nothing, anything, and everything in between.

somehow, they touch upon the distant future; a few years after they've graduated from college, and they've finally found their footing in the real world.

marriage inevitably comes up.

"sakusa keiji, huh?" and it's keiji who brings it up first, humming, a sweet smile accompanying it.

he sees kiyoomi melting at his words, aided by the fingers that card through his curls. his own smile stretches as kiyoomi's eyes glaze over; as if taken by the vision of them exchanging vows years from now. a dopey grin makes its way to his face and lovestruck is really the only way keiji can describe the look in kiyoomi's eyes. he feels a laugh building in his chest at the sight.

"i think i like the sound of that." and the laughter spills easily from his lips when kiyoomi cuddles even closer.

[dearsakuaka]

kiyoomi, who has never confessed in his life, thinks buying potted plants that keiji has mentioned in passing is enough of a confession. so now, their apartment is filled to the brim with succulents and keiji is nowhere near realizing that kiyoomi is confessing to him.

[dearsakuaka]

yours, as no one else's

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi/akaashi keiji word count: 1.0k a step into intimacy, in kiyoomi's perspective or, kiyoomi aches to hold keiji and musters up the courage to do so

the earliest stages of their relationship were marked with hesitation.

neither one was willing to be the first to reach out despite wanting to—horribly, desperately so. keiji, because he's vaguely aware of kiyoomi's idiosyncracies and he loathes to overstep. kiyoomi, because he's navigating through the uncertainty around keiji's feelings for him—whether he reciprocated out of unfounded obligation from kiyoomi confessing to him or if he truly felt the same.

doubt, in all its shades.

it comes to a head one rainy afternoon.

they're in kiyoomi's apartment, watching their third movie of the day. the dull thump of rain on the window fills the space that separates them. under the throw blanket, keiji is warm, hands wrapped around a mug of cocoa that he rests on his knees pulled up to his chest. he's warm, dressed in kiyoomi's sweater, eyes mirroring the colors on the screen. he laughs quietly at the scene before him. in turn, kiyoomi watches him, transfixed. keiji is warm—so warm—and kiyoomi is too. and oh god, how kiyoomi aches to reach out to him—to hold him.

so, he does.

kiyoomi lifts his hand up, shaking as his heart thunders in his chest. gently, he runs a finger down keiji's cheek. the light touch is enough to make him jump and snap his gaze to kiyoomi, who has his knee bent on the couch to aid the way his body is turned towards him.

"kiyoomi?" keiji whispers, voice barely heard over the movie. the flex of his fingers on his mug gives away his nerves. "everything okay?"

kiyoomi doesn't answer—can't answer, really. the words stick in his throat like honey. it doesn't help that his heart has started beating even faster under keiji's gaze.

(and, really, if kiyoomi is to do what he's about to do, he ought to cast aside every other thought, lest he gives in to his nerves.)

ever so gently, kiyoomi cups keiji's cheek. his hand trembles as he does so and kiyoomi can only wish that keiji does not feel it through his skin.

a gasp accompanies blue eyes widening.

god, his eyes are beautiful, disarming.

they look at kiyoomi in a way that has him faltering. dazed as he is, he barely registers when he starts running his own thumb across keiji's cheek.

when keiji slowly nuzzles into the touch, kiyoomi knows he's done for.

"i'm glad you're here." it's more air than anything but it's the best kiyoomi can do when he finally has keiji in his hold.

i'm glad you chose me. it goes unsaid but kiyoomi hopes his touch is enough to convey it.

when keiji moves, kiyoomi is immediately stricken, barely managing to stop his hand from reaching out to keep him close. all keiji does is place the mug on the coffee table, and then he's coming back. he sits closer than he has been in the past few hours and immediately takes kiyoomi's hand to rest it on his lap.

he's not looking at kiyoomi but the flush that slowly rises on his cheeks is enough recompense.

"i'm glad you chose me." the words come out raw from keiji's lips.

kiyoomi's breath stills. keiji feels the same.

the rain thumps on the windows of the apartment. the movie plays on and on on the screen. there are dishes in the sink that need to be washed. and keiji feels the same.

relief disarms kiyoomi and he sags into keiji, leaning in close and resting his head on his shoulder. keiji's hold on his hand tightens and, in a bold move, lifts it to his lips.

a gentle press.

kiyoomi feels breathless all over again.

he nuzzles into keiji; emboldened by keiji's previous action, he leaves a kiss on the corner of his lips.

"i wanted to do this for so long." comes the confession. mumbled into the sensitive skin of keiji's neck, making him giggle.

"would you believe me if i said i did too?"

"i'd believe anything you say, keiji."

a breath. "quite heavy of a statement, don't you think?"

"if it's you, it's not all that hard to promise great things."

"you spoil me."

"i want to."

it comes out more honest than kiyoomi intended but it was true anyway. being with keiji made him want to do more—with him, and for him.

he craves to give; all without expecting anything in return and it speaks volumes of the depth of his affections for keiji.

and so, it feels all the more sweeter when keiji meets him halfway. when his efforts are rewarded with sweet smiles and gentle touches.

it's not unlike a loyal disciple gaining their deity's favor and kiyoomi is the most devoted one there is. frankly, there is nothing kiyoomi isn't willing to do for the god that blessed him so.

he keeps these thoughts to himself, unwilling to let keiji carry the full weight of kiyoomi's devotion.

in due time.

"then, at the very least, let me spoil you too." kiyoomi is pulled from his reverie at keiji's words. "i like you too, you know?"

a beat and then, "a lot, actually."

kiyoomi rises from his place on keiji's neck to look him in the eye. he sees the earnestness, the need to let him know that his love comes with a return address and keiji is more than willing to send back as much as he has received. it makes kiyoomi smile.

"i know you do." and he really does.

keiji holds his gaze a little longer. when he finds what he's looking for, he turns away and snuggles closer into kiyoomi.

all the reluctance ebbing to make room for the need to be close.

"come on. we missed like half the movie."

kiyoomi laughs and finally, finally pulls keiji into his arms.

the mug of cocoa is forgotten. the movie is replayed. the rain outside slowly eases into a drizzle. keiji is wrapped in a sweater that's a tad larger in the shoulders and he is warm in kiyoomi's arms.

the lines crossed that one rainy afternoon promised sweeter things to come and, really, that's all kiyoomi could ask for. what comes after, like everything else in kiyoomi's person, he leaves in keiji's tender hands.

-

also on ao3

[fiendishpal]

sakuaka time!!

sakusa and akaashi working together with sakusa trying to be professional.

confirmed bachelor, keiji akaashi (22)

[miss-cigarettes]

사쿠아카(벌컥벌컦 || 냄비 [@neamvi] ※Permission to upload this was given by the artist (©). **Please, favorite/retweet/follow to support the artist** [Please do not repost, edit or remove credits]

[miss-cigarettes]

사쿠아카~ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 케이지군 한정이다 이자식들아 || 냄비 [@neamvi] ※Permission to upload this was given by the artist (©). **Please, favorite/retweet/follow to support the artist** [Please do not repost, edit or remove credits]