don’t touch my king!

val • she/her • 🔞

[deathbedeyes]

super cool intro post hi

header by memelord @lorefulgood

i'm val and this is my mcyt sideblog! i watch mostly life series + hermitcraft PIXLRIFFS MY MAN PIXLRIFFS and mythical j. sausage and martyn inthelittlewood. i follow from @enemyofrome. i am NOT mochi lorefulgood and i have no opinions on anything ever

a selection of my treebark fics i think you'll like:

GRAND UNIFIED TREEBARK TIMELINE: an ongoing project where i attempt to chronicle the entire treebark dynamic from the earliest days of 3L. (bonus: my GUTT tag)

riddles of natural selection: martyn has a coral parasite that tells him to kill. ren is a shitty king waiting to be dethroned. what happens next will surprise absolutely no one. (bonus: my RoNS tag)

monsters nearby series: martyn is tormented by watcher-sent impostors who look like ren (bonus: my monsterverse tag)

in season: treebark stardew valley au ft. farmer ren and forest spirit martyn

i am his highness's dog at kew: double life treebark, as seen through the eyes of tilly the wolf

doghouse: a fairytale take on rentheking and limlife martyn finding each other (again)

all my fics, drabbles, snippets etc. can be found in my fic tag.

if you are into queer historical fiction, maybe check out my original novels HOSTIS and THE MAGPIE BALLADS here also!

my asks are always open if you want to scream about block people with me <3

[lordaspen]

ewwww get a room

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[deathbedeyes]

What is Ren’s favorite physical feature of Martyn’s and why is it his ass?

1. rotund, generous (there is a lot of it!)

2. high surface tension (great for grabbing)

3. wiggles adorably when he's speedrunning or parkouring off roofs, as is his wont

[mmoosess]

sidekit

one of my fav seasons <3

[deathbedeyes]

what kind of cookie would ren be if someone baked him

oh definitely a gingerbread man. not a very well-baked one though. like his ears are drooping and his glasses are falling off and his legs are mismatched and crumbling. still delicious though. would scarf him down in an instant

alternatively, a red velvet cookie, because martyn referred to him(/his ass) as such during rats 2. and we know how martyn feels about red velvet as a flavour

[codes-and-stuffs]

[deathbedeyes]

treebark but they are pandas in a zoo enclosure. They are part of a breeding program but both of them only have eyes for each other. The zoo tries to separate them but it ends in extreme violence. And they’re both pandas.

aren't pandas endangered because they don't mate often enough. treebark single-handedly saving the species (or so they think)

[deathbedeyes]

what if treebark were fluffy little arctic foxes who lived in the snowy tundra and curled up together on a soft patch of moss and touched noses. what would you do. how would you feel

unfortunately they would still manage to decapitate each other and wage bloody war across the snowy plains of the tundra. but this is still a version of red winter i could get behind

[mil3st0nes]

Ren !!!

Ren :3

Ren <3

I like to think his hat is alive and sentient. It's like Dr. Strange's cloak. And it has googly eyes... Because I think they look fun :3 His bow's like a shooting star!!

[deathbedeyes]

treebark roadtrip who’s driving what snacks do they get what music do they listen to and also does martyn bounce his leg constantly until ren reaches over and settles a gentle but firm hand on his knee to steady him and martyn goes completely still beneath his touch

who's driving: see, i think ren is a nice normal driver except for occasional bouts of road rage, and martyn is... well, he's winning the car chases, not the passenger safety awards. that said, he's even worse at giving directions. i think they switch but they make the best time when martyn is driving and ren is navigating, or when ren is driving and martyn is asleep.

snacks: if martyn gets the snacks, it's just junk food. m&ms, chips, soft drinks. also an entire jar of peanut butter that he eats with his bare hands. if ren gets the snacks, it's sandwiches and apple juice, or maybe sushi. he still gets martyn the peanut butter though.

music: they just turn on some classic rock station on the radio and don't listen to it at all because they're too busy yapping

does martyn bounce his leg constantly until ren reaches over and settles a gentle but firm hand on his knee to steady him and martyn goes completely still beneath his touch: yes. also sometimes martyn bounces his foot on the gas pedal and they run over a couple people but nbd really

[jeiiyfrog]

I did it* again.

(my entire bikeshed burnt down so i drew treebark to cope)

[deathbedeyes]

how much juice would lime!martyn produce if ren squeezed him

hi mochi. he would produce very little juice. because he is a tiny variety of lime, like so, and because ren would squeeze him only gently. he would produce a Lot of noises though

the real question is: would any of you drink the mart juice.

[deathbedeyes]

open invitation to send me cursed asks like this btw. i love saying things

[deathbedeyes]

how much juice would lime!martyn produce if ren squeezed him

hi mochi. he would produce very little juice. because he is a tiny variety of lime, like so, and because ren would squeeze him only gently. he would produce a Lot of noises though

the real question is: would any of you drink the mart juice.

[sunglooow]

Lil' mini guys...

[jinxzgamingartist]

CelestialMetals are both one of the best groups in the flight but they also are arguable one of the most harmful in a sense. Specifically each one has a flaw that affects how they interact with others which ends up being reinforced by the others. Tf!Sausage has a strict black and white worldview with the others basically giving into his views. Tf!Zam has social anxiety and the group always being by her side makes her unable to gain confidence when interacting with others due to that dependence. Tf!Legs has his paranoia and fear which the others help make stronger by shielding him from information that scares him by taking the books that scare him. Then you have Tf!Gracie who they support in helping others but fail to teach to care for themselves. They care and help one another so much but in a way that harms their ability to grow into their own identities.

[sunglooow]

Whoosh! 🔥