It seems like this never stops. Once it settles down, it starts up again. We’ve only had three good days, and you couldn’t stop. I’m so tired of this, and I’m so sick if hearing you say sorry instead of actually changing. I can’t stop crying it’s like, I don’t even get a break. I wouldn’t be under so much stress if you just leaned how to think.
You have no idea how I felt when this happened, reading that. Then I’m a bad person for standing up for myself? I’ve held my tongue for far too long, and I’m so sick of having to wonder if anything is happening or happened. I can’t even breathe, I feel like I’m drowning and no one will save me because ever since the few nights into the disney trip, it’s as if my feelings or anything I’ve said is put on the back burner.
It’s like you had to prove to me he was a good person, but I knew he wasn’t all along. He wouldn’t stop and it kept itching at my skin like a bug bite, and I haven’t stopped shaking and my head is pounding and I need to spend time alone. I just, you know I have my doubts because you’ve shitted on my feelings before and I don’t know what to do at this point because I’m so stuck. And I don’t know how to love anyone else, and I don’t know how to move on and I don’t want to but if I learned maybe I could breathe on my own, or maybe I wouldn’t stress so much about this.
I hate it so much and you tired to prove so much that nothing was going to happen, and your only excuse is that you were drunk as if that was gonna make me forgive you. “I didn’t mean it,” Okay but if weren’t together you’d be all over him, if we weren’t engaged and we were still working out our kinks you’d sleep with him. I feel like i’m holding you back, and I’m not always good enough and it sucks so much.
I need to leave, I need to get out of the house were you’re everywhere. I can’t sleep in our bed, I can’t sleep in our guest bed. I need to leave I need to be alone and have time to think because I’m so hurt and I feel it everywhere. I just want to not care anymore, but I can’t. Everything hurts, and even if it was “taken out of context” I know you still meant it.
theartofmadeline
gummygunk
janainaart
snowghoul
prguitarman
