Damian kissed her, hard. As if he knew not what else to do, or to say; as if he was drowning, a lone soul in the open sea; as if he could do nothing but cling to her, hold her and never let her go. She was like an anchor, holding him through the stormy waters of his troubles; the lighthouse that he turned to for hope. He loved her. With every part of his being, he loved her. For not running. For staying. For being his rock.
“I know,” he murmured, pulling away as his hands cupped her face. “I… I’ve been silly.” He sighed, the tiniest of smiles flashing across his face before disappearing again. His eyes met hers for a fleeting moment. “I love you.”
The car suddenly seemed too small and the air had become suffocating. He rolled down the windows and opened up the moon roof. It was dark, but the dawn was just approaching, and the sky was a darker shade of lilac. A slight breeze pushed through his hair and he inhaled the faded smell of the ocean that whispered its way to them.
They were not too far from the farm. Turning back to December he watched her for a long moment before kissing her forehead. As they buckled in once more, he maneuvered the car around and went back the way they had come, turning into the small untraveled road that led its way up to the farm. “I’ve never taken you inside, have I?” Damian asked quietly as they passed the overgrown fields, the blades of grass swaying in the air. “I…I want to show you.”
When he got out of the car, as he had so many times in the past, with or without her, to visit the farm, deep inside he knew it was different now. It was as if an enormous burden had washed off of him. No more hiding. He was here now with her. They were here together.
They made their way up the path hand in hand towards the house. “There’s the hammock. You know that,” he pointed towards the left. “The orchard over on the right. My old treehouse is a bit beyond.” A faint smile played on his lips. “Loved it there.” They approached the modest farmhouse. Terracotta flower pots lined the windows, dead unwatered flowers inside. An old, broken chicken coop stood off to the side, bent and forgotten.
Digging in his pocket for his ring of keys, Damian selected an old silver one which he pushed into the lock at the front door. “We used to have chickens,” he smiled. “Penny and Helen, their names were. And they hid their eggs so we had to look hard.” He glanced at December’s face. “My mum, Claire, and I.”
The door opened with a small squeak and he took December’s hand, stopping in the doorway. Rather than being sad and lonely, the house suddenly seemed to come to life. Despite the darkness, he could see. It was as if people were still rushing in and out of the doors, bustling, dancing, laughing, singing. Almost all the bad memories went out the door. Almost.
Leading her through the doorway he pointed out the various photographs that hung on the walls and explained. His mother was everywhere. Her knowing eyes smiling behind protected glass and wooden frames. There were very few of Damian himself, but he knew there hadn’t been much time for family photos anyhow. His father had never had time apparently for such things. Their wedding photo was hung prominently on the wall right by his mother’s favorite armchair, and beside it, a much smaller Christmas photo with the entire family – Damian, his mother, his dad, Ray, and Claire. That was all that he knew of his family, and that was all he had. All but Claire had left him in a way. And even she had left him, even though she hadn’t wanted to. Her long battle with cancer had ended a few years ago.
Entering the kitchen was like a rush of memories coming over him as he pulled out a chair at the breakfast nook for her to sit on. “Tea, yes?” he asked lightly. Damian filled the old kettle on the stove with water from the sink and set it to boil as he watched December gaze out the large window overlooking the fields. It was at moments like these where he was grateful to be with her, as he committed to memory the quiet calm that had swept over her face, lit by the soft colors of the dawn.
“What do you think?” he said, cutting through the quiet awe that had momentarily bewitched them. He knew now why his mother had always stood at that very window, watching him run out to play, or run home to her waiting arms. “It’s not the ocean, but…” Damian sat down beside her at the small table, waving his hand at the swaying grasses outside, “It’s close.” He tilted her chin up towards him and pressed his lips to hers sweetly. “Well, not really,” he smiled against her lips, tugging on her bottom lip playfully before being interrupted by the high-pitched whistle of the kettle. “Tea,” he muttered with a scowl, standing to shut off the stove. He took a box of tea bags from the shelf in the cupboard and set it before her along with two cups of the boiling water.
“Choose wisely, love,” Damian said, choosing a black tea for himself, “My mum was…is a tea enthusiast. There might be some strange ones in there,” he chuckled. “We don’t have milk either. Or cream. A pity that Bessie isn’t here anymore,” he looked up from stirring a bit of sugar into his cup. “So now, we talk over tea without it.”