― 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧 𝗚𝗢𝗗 !

― what a thing to admit that, when someone looks at me with real love, i don't like it very much. kinda makes me feel like i'm being crushed. is this something you'd like to discuss?

[yonglixx]

𓆩♡𓆪

[declinerewind]

melvitae​:

                              the early stages // @bluntloves​

“sunmi?” jiaolong peered over the market shelves in search for the fellow rookie idol, his dark eyes scanning for a familiar head bopping around. it was a bit annoying actually having to avoid the ‘roommate’ staff members who was following his every move, their own cameraman even getting in the way of his search for the ‘missing’ luv member. the rapper could have sworn she was right behind him too. it didn’t help that the confining space of the small town grocery store kept nagging at his attention span, especially with the apparent afternoon rush and the obnoxious advertisements surrounding him. “hey, yeun sunmi! you didn’t get mistaken as a kid and got taken away by someone’s mom, right? say something!”

             SHE  HADN’T  MEANT  to  get  separated  from  jiaolong  ,  honest  to  god  .  but  all  it  had  taken  was  for  one  particularly  forceful  fishmonger  to  shove  their  way  in  between  them  —  very  clearly  annoyed  by  the  entourage  of  camera  men  surrounding  the  pair  of  idols  —  and  suddenly  ,  the  hold  she  had  had  on  the  back  of  jiaolong’s  had  disappeared  along  with  the  tall  rapper  and  the  extensive  amount  of  people  around  them  .  professionally  speaking  ,  she  should  have  been  a  little  ticked  off  that  so  many  people  had  noticed  her  disappearance  (  she  wasn’t  that  short  . . .  was  she  ?  ),  but  personally  speaking  ,  she  was  sort  of  glad  to  be  rid  of  the  camera  men  .  their  presence  was  beginning  to  get  a  little  overwhelming  and  sure  ,  she  knew  what  being  on  a  reality  show  entailed  ,  but  anxiety  of  being  constantly  surrounded  had  gotten  significantly  worse  the  moment  they  had  entered  the  grocery  —  the  paper  shopping  list  in  her  pocket  suddenly  feeling  like  it  weighed  a  tonne  .

            A  RAGGED  SIGH  would  escape  the  young  woman’s  throat  as  she  ran  her  hands  through  her  short  hair  ,  honey  eyes  still  focused  on  the  group  that  were  now  a  few  meters  ahead  of  her  and  still  parting  the  crowded  grocery  store  like  the  red  sea  .  ignoring  the  voice  in  her  head  that  was  tempting  her  to  turn  around  and  go  back  to  the  roommate  building  ,  sunmi  couldn’t  help  but  let  a  smile  appear  on  her  worry  worn  lips  at  the  sound  of  jiaolong’s  voice  carrying  over  the  noise  —  dramatic  as  ever  .  small  enough  to  squeeze  between  the  towering  cameramen  ,  sunmi  would  allow  a  faux  ,  playful  frown  to  settle  on  her  face  ;  trying  to  ignore  the  way  the  camera  closest  to  her  zoomed  into  fully  display  her  face  and  the  comical  expression  on  it  .  “  yah,  ”  she  whines  childishly  ,  “  it’s  not  my  fault  it’s  so  crowded.  ”  with  a  dramatic  flair  added  to  almost  all  movements  ,  she  reaches  out  to  grasp  his larger  hand  in  hers ,  slotting  her  fingers  between  between  his  and  squeezing  it  tightly  .  “  make  sure  you  hold  onto  me  ,  we  all  know  we’ll  never  find  you  again  if  you  get  lost  .  ”

[declinerewind]

                                the  first  of  many  // @servphics​

IF  SOOJIN  WAS  BEING  honest,  before  she  had  become  an  idol  herself  ,  she  had  always  thought  that  the  extreme  ways  in  which  fans  reacted  to  dating  confirmations  was  some  weird  sort  of  inside  joke  .  there  was  no  way  people  would  be  that  self  entitled  that  they  believed  their  dearest  celebrities  should  stay  single  forever,  right  ?  she’d  been  naive  to  the  lengths  fans  would  go  to  sabotage  their  ‘faves’  relationship  up  until  the  moment  shiloh  and  ryuusuke  had  gone  public  ,  cyno’s  more  dedicated  fans  going  out  of  their  way  to  create  whole  accounts  just  to  attack  the  kindest  woman  soojin  had  ever  known  ,  and  while  shiloh  and  ryuusuke  had  remained  happy  and  strong  despite  the  onslaught  after  the  announcement  ;  soojin  knew  that  that  wasn’t  always  the  case  for  everyone  else  .

AND  PERHAPS  THAT  HAD  been  why  she’d  been  so  anxious  about  going  public  about  her  relationship  with  minho  (  if  one  could  even  call  it  that,  they’d  never  actually  discussed  getting  together  .  it  had  just  sort  of  happened  )  ,  but  after  a  lengthy  conversation  with  shiloh  who  had  reassured  her  that  ,  even  if  they  were  greeted  with  resistance  ,  it  would  go  away  eventually  ,  and  a  meeting  with  both  risa  and  minho  —  who  was  also  preparing  for  his  comeback  ,  talk  about  horrendous  timing  —  regarding  the  dispatch  article  that  had  recently  dropped  ,  they  had  given  the  company  the  go  ahead  to  confirm  their  relationship  .  but  let  it  be  known  ,  if  soojin  ever  caught  the  journalist  who  had  gotten  the  drop  on  them  ,  she  would  probably  be  given  jail  time  for  crimes  against  humanity  .

EXTREME  REACTIONS  OR  NOT  ,  the  grounding  weight  of  the  bouquet  in  her  hands  reminded  her  of  her  current  mission  —  feet  following  the  familiar  hallways  of  the  music  bank  building  ,  eyes  searching  for  the  door  of  waiting  room  #19  .  two  doors  down  from  waiting  room  #17  —  the  room  stella  had  used  the  most  over  the  past  near  nine  years  —  and  a  whole  row  of  doors  down  from  the  wall  full  of  signatures  ,  she  would  reach  out  with  her  spare  hand  to  push  down  on  the  handle  and  open  the  door  with  the  aid  of  her  shoulder  .  bowing  her  head  in  both  greeting  and  apology  to  the  stylist  who  had  jumped  at  the  door  opening  ,  the  onyx  haired  vocalist  would  raise  her  hand  to  adjust  her  mask  as  her  eyes  landed  on  the  figure  of  her  now  very  public  partner  ;  his  eyes  still  slightly  red  as  he  sat  on  the  couch  ,  admiring  the  well  earned  trophy  in  his  hand  .

“  MINHO SSI  ?  YOU  HAVE  A  DELIVERY  .  ”  thankfully  ,  the  role  of  a  delivery  person  from  busan  came  relatively  easily  to  soojin  —  she’d  had  many  the  odd  jobs  before  the  kind  man  at  the  hospital  had  reminded  her  of  her  dreams  of  the  stage  .  for  a  brief  moment  ,  he  fully  seemed  to  believe  in  the  act  ,  a  professional  mask  slipping  over  his  face  but  the  curiosity  evident  in  those  doe  eyes  that  she  adored  so  much  ,  but  the  moment  his  fingers  touched  hers  —  slightly  calloused  skin  from  all  his  hard  work  meeting  the  many  tiny  scars  on  her  fingers  —  to  take  the flowers  ,  the  second  their  eyes  met  ,  she  knew  it  was  over  .  after  all  ,  there  were  very  few  other  people  who  knew  her  as  well  as  he  did  .  pulling  down  her  mask  to  reveal  the  lower  half  of  her  face  ,  an  infectious  smile  grew  on  her  lips  —  travelling  up  to  her  dark  eyes  as  she  crouched  in  front  of  the  male  ,  “  congratulations  on  your  first  win  ,  ”  she  begins  gently  ,  hands  reaching  out  to  briefly  cradle  his  face  .  “ the  first  of  many  ,  i’m  certain  . . .  you’ve  worked  hard  ,  my  love  .  i  can’t  think  of  anyone  more  deserving  of  this  win  than  you  .  ”

[latibule-e-deactivated20231012]

— Theodore Roethke, from “Straw for the fire.”

[jaennie]

JISOO x Rolling Stone Cover

[ailuroplisa]

missing chaelisa in coachella!

[declinerewind]

              SOOJIN POV; KYURI SPILLS THE GND TEA

[declinerewind]

*                 /                     THIS FEELS TOO GOOD TO LET GO !

                                      ♡               .                     jlong  &  sunmi  !

                       now  playing  ...  deathwish  by  stand  atlantic  !

𝐢. THE  FIRST  TIME  sunmi  almost  kissed  jiaolong,  she  had  been  eighteen  years  old  and  he  had  just  saved  her  from  nearly  getting  run  over  by  a  semi.  the  camera  crew  of  sbs'  roommates  were  just  feet  away          capturing  the  wholesome  moment  between  the  cyno  member  and  former  luv  member,  but  all  she  could  focus  on  was  the  feeling  of  his  chest  pressed  against  her  back,  his  arms  keeping  her  between  him  and  the  entry  of  the  alleyway,  safe  from  the  truck , and  the  way  her  heart  was  hammering  away  in  her  chest.

she'd  been  teasing  him  not  two  minutes  ago,  something  about  his  height  just  to  get  on  his  nerves  (  as  she  usually  did  )  and  he  had  playing  it  up  for  cameras  for  a  moment  before  jiaolong  had  spotted  the  semi          always  more  spacially  aware  than  her          speeding  towards  them.  the  world  had  slowed  as  her  grabbed  her  by  her  oversized  hoodies  and  pulled  her  towards  him,  the  former  idol  becoming  increasingly  aware  of  how  close  she  was  to  her  long  time  friend  as  her  heart  crawled  up  into  her  throat.

she  could  remember  looking  up  to  glance  a  him,  only  to  find  him  already  looking  at her.  the  way  her  cheeks  had  heated  up  was  immediate,  as  was  the  way  her  eyes  had  briefly  landed  on  his  plush  lips,  an  intrusive  curiousity  about  how  his  lips  would  feel  against  hers  worming  it's  way  into  her  brain.  but  it  was  gone  as  quickly  as  it  came,  the  presence  of  the  cameras  suddenly  weighing  a  tonne.  jiaolong,  not  noticing  her  sudden  change  in  demeanor,  would  then  go  on  to  teasingly  (  but  gently  !  )  shove  her  away  from  her  like  nothing  had  happened  before  carrying  on  with  their  mission.

she  must  have  a  death  wish  of  some  kind  ...  how  annoying.

   now  playing  ... life  was  easier  when  i  only  cared  about  me  by  bad  suns  !

𝐢𝐢. THE  SMELL  OF  POLLEN  and  the  appearance  of  a  bouquet  of  beautiful,  blooming  bleeding  hearts,  cherry  blossoms  and  water  lillies  (  her  three  favourite  flowers  ever          how  had  he  known  ?  )  outstretched  towards  her  had  been  the  cause  of  the  second  almost  kiss  on  her  behalf. the  backstage  area  of  all  stars  was  in  chaos,  families  running  around  either  to  congratulate  the  winners  (  her  future  group  mates  ...  her  guilt  about  what  had  happened  to  luv  still  made  that  thought  weigh  heavily  on  her  slim  shoulders  )  or  comfort  those  who  hadn't  passed  the  final  round          her  own  parents  were  no  where  to  be  seen,  but  she  hadn't  expected  them  to  show  up  to  congrulate  her  on  making  it.  they  had  never  cared  about  her  unless  she  was  giving  them  her  hard  earned  money,  anyways          but  the  last  thing  she  had  expected  was  for  jiaolong  to  show  up  instead,  and  with  a  bouquet  of  her  favourite  flowers  to  boot.

her  throat  had  closed  up  at  the  sight  before  her,  the  intrusive  realisation  of  maybe  she  didn't  have  to  always  be  alone  arriving  quickly  at  his  appearance          maybe  she  really  did  want  someone  there  to  tell  her  she  had  worked  hard,  that  she  had  done  a  good  job.  exhaling  shakily,  small  hands  extending  to  take  the  bouquet  from  her  as  the  realisation  that  she  was  finally  redebuting  hit  her,  the  weight  settling  between  her  shoulder  blades  and  resting  against  her  sore  neck;  she  would  bring  the  bouquet  towards  her,  hugging  it  gently  against  her  aching  chest  and  burying  her  nose  in  the  petals  as  jiaolong  voiced  his  pride          fresh  tears  pricking  against  her  already  swollen  eyes  at  his  words.

looking  back  up  at  him,  the  way  he  was  looking  at  her,  with  pride  all  but  dripping  from  his  honey  eyes,  she  was  struck  with  yet  another  realisation;  that  jiaolong  had  been  there  for  her  through  everything.  he  had  been  there  when  luv  had  been  forced  to  disband,  he  had  been  there  her  parents  had  shown  up,  demanding  money  a  mere  week  after  said  disbandment,  and  he  had  been  there  when  she  finally  snapped  and  screamed  at  them  until  they  ran  from  the  prism  building  and  never  came  back.  he  had  been  through  everything,  and  he  had  taken  her  teasing  and  sarcastic  comments  in  his  stride  all  because  he  cared  for  her.

he  had  always  cared  for  her  so  openly  that  it  made  her  chest  physically  ache.  she  didn't  deserve  his  kindness  in  the  slightest  and  yet  he  was  still  here,  congratulating  her  for  her  hard  work  and  singing  praises  like  she  deserved  them.  her  heart  ached  with  something  new,  and  unfamiliar  as  she  watched  him          she  didn't  know  if  it  was  love,  but  the  sensation  was  enough  to  spur  her  forward  so  that  she  could  wrap  her  arms  around  his  wide  shoulders.  a  kiss  would  have  ruined  the  moment,  and  a  hug  felt  too  intimate  but  the  moment  he  wrapped  his  arms  around  her  waist  in  return  as  she  whispered  her  gratitude  for  him  being  there,  she  knew  he  felt  like  home.

                              now  playing  ...  pretty  please  by  jackson  wang  !

𝐢𝐢𝐢.  RAUCOUS  LAUGHTER  FILLS  fills  the  room  as  sunmi  watches  with  fond  eyes  as  jiaolong  spins  his  mother  around,  continuing  their  dance  as  the  song  you  who  sat  next  to  me  by  gao  xiaosong  flowed  into  the  air  from  the  old  record  player  that  sat  in  the  corner  of  the  room.  the  brunette,  now  aged  twenty  years  old,  had  since  gotten  used  to  the  way  her  heart  would  flutter  and  clench  uncomfortably  whenever  her  best  friend  looked  over  at  her  with  those  dangerous,  honey  brown  eyes  of  his,  but  what  she  hadn't  gotten  used  to  was  the  way  in  which  his  endearing  mother  (  who  had  always  treated  sunmi  as  her  own  child  )  had  stopped  referring  to  sunmi  as  jiaolong's  best  friend  and  had  instead  taken  to  asking  her  when  she  and  her  son  were  planning  on  getting  married.

he  absolutely  didn't  help  the  situation  either,  mind  you.  in  fact,  jiaolong  would  smile  deviously  at  her  and  repeat  his  mother's  question  as  if  to  tease  her,  give  her  a  taste  of  her  own  medicine  when  he  knew  she  was  defenceless  against  his  kind  mother.  sunmi  was  sure  he  was  blind  to  the  way  she  would  flush  a  soft  red  as  well,  which  only  made  it  worse  for  her.

the  soft  tones  of  gao  xiaosong  would  slowly  but  surely  fade  into  the  next  song  on  the  record,  the  wen  matriarch  pulling  her  beloved  son  into  a  tight  hug  before  she  waddled  off  towards  the  kitchen  to  start  dinner          but  not  before  reaching  out  to  briefly  hold  sunmi's  hand  on  her  way  past.  too  distracted  by  her  thoughts,  the  idol  would  fail  to  notice  jiaolong's  presence  until  he  fell  onto  the  couch  beside  her,  nudging  her  knee  with  his  own,  causing  her  too  look  over  at  him  and  god,  how  she  wished  she  hadn't.  the  white  dress  shirt  had  become  dishevelled  during  his  dance  with  his  mother,  the  three  top  buttons  were  undone          allowing  the  tanned  skin  of  his  chest  and  collarbones  to  peek  though,  his  black  hair  was  pushed  away from  his  face,  slightly  flushed  red  and  his  lips  parted  slightly,  and  his  legs  were  clad  in  black  dress  pants  and  ...  she  suddenly  needed  to  get  out  of  there  very,  very  quickly.

unfortunately  for  her,  any  and  all  escape  options  went  out  the  window  when  the  man  beside  her  held  out  a  large,  calloused  hand  towards  her  and  her  heart  jumped  into  her  throat.  she  could  recall  staring  at  him  like  he'd  grown  a  second  head,  determined  to  keep  her  calm  façade  and  raising  an  eyebrow,  "  what  ?  "  she  had  asked  and  he  had  laughed,  taking  her  hand  into  his  own  pulling  her  up  alongside  him.  "  dance  with  me.  "

he  laughed  once  more  as  she  rolled  her  eyes  at  him,  a  sound  that  usually  brought  sunmi  great  comfort  but,  under  the  current  circumstances  where  she  could  feel  his  laughter  rumbling  against  her  chest  as  if  it  was  her  own,  it  only  made  it  harder  for  her  to  not  kiss  him.  so  instead,  as  he  wrapped  muscular  arm  around  her  waist,  she  gripped  his  forearm,  looked  up  at  him  and  smirked  like  she  was  fine,  "  fine.  but  don't  step  on  my  feet.  "

                              now  playing  ...  soulmate  by  zico  &  iu  !

𝐢.  DECEMBER  25,  2019,  a  fresh  blanket  of  snow  covered  the  streets  of  seoul,  the  same  it  always  did  on  the  anniversary  of  yeun  sunmi's  birthday.  ice  clung  desperately  to  every  inch  of  the  newly  turned  twenty  two  year  old's  covered  body,  silver  particles  dusting  her  hair  and  causing  her  nose  and  cheeks  to  glow  an  embarrassingly  red  colour.  but  if  you  peered  a  few  inches  downwards,  you  would  notice  the  red  colour  that  accentuated  her  earth  toned  eyes  had  absolutely  nothing  to  do  with  the  cold.

for  in  her  gloved  palm  sat  a  crystal  known  as  a  rose  quartz;  the  precious  stone  that  represented  unconditional  love.  tears  pricked  at  her  eyes,  desperate  to  escape  at  the  heavy  meaning  this  little  rock  carried  within  it,  and  she  was  so  highly  aware  of  the  way  jiaolong  was  watching  her,  patiently  waiting  for  her  to  say  something  but  how  could  she  ?  how  could  she  when  he  had  just  essentially  given  her  a  rock  that  served  as  both  a  confession  and  a  promise  to  love  her  unconditionally.  she  had  always  known  that  he  felt  the  same  way  about  her  that  she  did  him to  a  certain  degree,  hell,  he  had  practically  sung  about  it  any  chance  he  got,  but  for  some  reason,  the  crystal  sitting  in  her  hand  made  it  that  much  more  real.

finally,  she  would  look  up  at  him  with  tears  still  decorating  her  waterline,  uncertainty  clear  in  her  eyes  as  she  glanced  between  him  and  the  precious  stone  in  her  palm,  "  do  ...   do  you         "  her  voice  broke  pathetically,  but  she  carried  on  despite  it.  "  do  you  know  what  rose  quartz  means  ?  "  please say yes, please say yes,  her  mind  begged  as  she  watched  him.  jiaolong  seemed  to  pause,  thinking  of  his  response  before  he  nodded  slowly  as  he  shoved  his  hands  into  the  pockets  of  his  jacket,  speaking  after  the  brief  moment  of  silence,  "  unconditional  love,  right ?  ...  also  means  you  can't  get  rid  of  me.  "

taking  a  moment  to  gently  pocket  the  preciouspreciousprecious  stone,  this  time,  sunmi  wouldn't stop  herself  from  surging  forward  to  finally  press  her  cold  lips  against  his  own  just  as  every  bit  of  adoration,  admiration,  and  love  she  felt  for  him  finally  broke  through  the  dam  she  had  built  around  her  heart.  pulling  away  a  moment  later,  the  idol  wasn't  able  to  stop  the  gentle  sob  that  escaped  her  as  she  (  lightly !  )  hit  his  chest  over  and  over          she  didn't  deserve  him,  not  even  in  the  slightest,  and  yet  there  he  was,  as  always.  steadfast  and  unmoving  in  his  belief  and  loyalty  in  her.  "  you're  such  an  idiot,  "  she  whispered  against  the  chilly  december  winds,  looking  up  at  him  once  more  before  she  moved  to  wrap  her  arms  around  his  reliable  shoulders  once  more.  "  why  would  i  ever  want  to  get  rid  of  you  ?  "

                                  now  playing  ...  moonlight  by  twice  !

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.  IF  YOU  OPENED  into  the  bottom  drawer  of  sunmi's  bedside  table          though  she  isn't  sure  why  you  would          you  would  surely  found  a  journal  that,  at  first  sight,  wasn't  anything  to  get  excited  about,  but  the  inside  ?  oh,  the  inside  held  stories  of  romance  and  love  that  words  alone  could  never  even  hope  to  describe.

pressed  flowers  upon  pressed  flowers,  the  dried  petals  of  every  single  bouquet  jiaolong  had  ever  gotten  her;  starting  with  the  one  he  gave  her  after  she  got  into  cherie  seven  years  ago  to  the  one  he  had  given  to  her  the  other  week  for  no  reason  other  than  he  loved  her.  carefully  taped  in  polaroids  that  ranged  in  age  and  quality  but  always  showed  the  same  things;  jiaolong  on   his  own  or  the  pair  together.  as  well  as  every  hand  written  note  he  had  left  for  her  since  they  had  started  dating,  some  longer  than  others  and  some  short,  but  each  penned  word  was  undoubtedly  dipped  in  tooth  rotting  levels  of  sweetness  from  his  pure  adoration  for  her.

so,  where  was  the  rose  quartz  he  gifted  her,  you  may  ask ?  sunmi  had  the  crystal  carefully  tied  to  a  custom  made  chain  for  her  phone  as  to  ensure  the  small  but  meaningful  gemstone  could  go  with  her  everywhere.  it  can  be  spotted  in  most  of  her  mirror  selfies,  taking  pride  of  place  against  her  phone  and  hand,  almost  as  though  jiaolong  was  right  there  with  her  ...  even  (  and  especially  )  when  he  can't  be  there  in  person.

[declinerewind]

servphics·:

ROSY.

01:24am, daniel & marzia.

it’s been a long, long day. he’s been stuck in his home-studio for the majority of the day, working on tracks for his first album that was set to release in exactly one month. while he has more than twice as many songs recorded, and even more written, than the ep will actually hold, he wants it to be absolutely perfect—which is proving to be a harder reality to accomplish than he’d initially believed. despite days continuing to pass, he still finds himself changing lyrics, or melodies, or even the tracklist itself just because he can.

he’s not unknown, and surely the small amount of fans that he’s earned during his days of posting demos on soundcloud wouldn’t hate anything he releases. well, he’s definitely doing some wishful-thinking, hoping this is the case to feel less intimidated about the whole thing. can anyone really blame him for being anxious, though? he finds himself constantly overthinking every decision he makes regarding the album, certainly stressing out his manager and co-producers with how indecisive he’s being. it’s his first piece of work as a signed artist under a popular label, and there’s a mountain of expectations he wants to meet: both his and everyone else’s.

it’s now been a couple hours since he’s left his studio, tired eyes slowly blinking as he searches for a ray of light during this dark, stressing time—also known as his wonderful, brighter-than-the-sun-itself significant other, who’s also conveniently the one person he wants to impress the most. many of the songs are about her, about them, and he wants her to know everything he’s always wanted to tell her but too shy to say outside of his element.

he finds her in another room, a small smile immediately creeping onto his face as he watches her back. he’s glad she hasn’t noticed him yet ( or maybe she has, he’s still grateful that she hasn’t turned around ), and he finds himself suddenly thinking about the first night they met. a lot of time has passed since that fateful night, and sometimes he finds himself thinking about where he’d be in life if she didn’t come along and impact it as much as she has. he takes out his phone, immediately going to his gallery to look for the photo of them he took that night, before finally tiptoeing towards her.

he snakes his arms around her, pressing a small kiss to the side of her head before resting his chin on her shoulder, a fond grin on his face as he shows her the photo on his screen. “do you remember this night?” he starts, already knowing her answer, “when we took this photo, i didn’t even imagine how important you’d become to me. i was just happy i made a friend all on my own.”

@bluntloves·

      𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 the soft light illuminating the room for the very back corner and the gentle tones of bing crosby wafting over from the old record player she had long since stolen from her mother, one would be forgiven for thinking that the unique and frankly strange being that was marzia kang had gone to bed at a slightly more agreeable hour than her usual four am. listen, if your mind was as alive and constantlycoming up with new visions as hers was, you would not sleep easily either.

      it'd been a good few weeks since she had put in for a semester off, the strict routine and dictatorship that was the american education system had been weighing heavily on not only her patience but also her disdain for routine and living life as was supposed to be lived        controlled. it was a trait she was at least 85 percent sure she had inherited from her father, the great kang myungsoo. her fingers, short and childlike as they were ( she was still greatly upset that she hadn't inherited either of her parents' long and elegant fingers ), were holding a thin paint brush gently in an iron grip        almost as though it held the weight of the world on it, which it kinda did, as she gently but purposefully followed the line she had previously traced out with pencil on the canvas, her breath held as she followed the outline before exhaling rough and placing the brush down and stretching her back out        a soft groan escaping her as she did.

      usually, on a lovely autumn night such as this, marzia would be busy dragging her beloved other half on some unplanned adventure inside of the wide city they now called home, but as of the last couple of days, he had become quite the recluse. not that she could blame him, he was working on the release of his first album ( something that marzia may or may not have cried over when he told her the news ) and where marzia was a well know it is what it is type of artist, daniel was absolutely more of a nothing less than perfect type of artist        but she understood, music was a territory even the brave kang child wouldn't venture into. far too much criticism for her liking, he was braver than she could ever be        and she truly believed that. still, all the knowledge in the world about what he was working so hard to achieve couldn't fight off the worries plaguing her... it was perhaps because she knew just how hard he was working that she was worried he would forget to look after himself. artists were truly their own worst enemies when it came to goals and hyperfixations.

      she felt him before she saw him, a comforting presence appearing in the doorway of the her cluttered art studio and she smiled softly as she reaches out to pick up her brush once more. he'd always had the strangest ability of showing up exactly as she begins to worry for him, it was one of the many ( many, many, many ) things about him that made daniel min the human embodiment of the moon in her eyes. he was just a comforting person in general, even if he would strongly disagree.

      feeling a bright smile appear in on her full lips as his arms wrapped her mid section, she would turn her head slightly to greet him at the same time he placed a soft kiss on her temple. "how could i forget it ?" she asks with a laugh, dark eyes now looking down at his phone which was displaying the very first photo they had taken together. they looked significantly younger, her hair was a pale blonde colour with flecks of paint tainting the streaks and he looked like he had just experienced positive adrenaline for the first time in his life. it was a sight that made memories of that night flash through her mind, dragging more laughter from her as she looked at him. "i nearly had both of us put in prison for defacing public property, good thing you're fast, right ?" marzia joked before she turned her gaze to him, a fond smile playing on her face.

      "you were my first friend, you know." she replies easily. "i honestly didn't expect you to keep talking to me, it honestly would have been completely understandable if you hadn't but you did        thank you for that." she smiles gently, the underlying message of you literally changed my life reading loud and clear... or so she hoped. "what brought on this trip down memory lane, though ? not that i'm opposed just... curious."

[declinerewind]

𝗔𝗛𝗡 𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗝𝗜𝗡 !

               HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING. or rather, he knows the half of it but thinks he can see the whole picture. he’s conscious of the fact that they’re doing his best to distract him, and for the most part they are doing good enough. unfortunately, ever since their most recent concert ended, he’s been feeling more stressed about upcoming the two upcoming in another week. cyno has been on tour for too long, and being on the road for so long has been getting to him — they have another week or so to prepare but it’s still a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. as appreciative as he is towards cyno’s fans, and as grateful as he is to have the opportunity to go on tour with his best friends, he misses being away from home.

               ( ‘home’, referring to his girlfriend, of course. )

               speaking of said girlfriend, part of the reason he’s irritated as of late is due to the fact that she’s been ignoring him for too long. as his eyes stay focused on the screen, his mind continues to wander back to hikari. he wonders what she’s up to right now, and what’s keeping her so busy to the point where she can’t send him a quick message back to let him know she’s at least okay. he would love nothing more than to talk to her, to see her, or just to hold her, but he knows that’s not possible given the current circumstances. maybe, just maybe, his mood would brighten up a bit if he could just get one message, no matter how small it is.

               he’s uncharacteristically quiet as the other two beside him talk his ears off, only chiming in when he feels it’s necessary; but they probably know his mind is elsewhere. it’s not the first time that they have experienced dealing with him in this state, but his weariness weighs heavily on his shoulders and he’s definitely doing his best to restrain himself from shoving them out of his room. he doesn’t notice the door opening, his mind fully focused on his match against jlong with the intent to win…

               or so he thought. he jolts at the feeling of someone’s embrace, not expecting it mid-game and not appreciating the lack of permission, either. he’s quick to abandon the game and turn around, about to shove who he thinks is hansol off him, ( as their maknae has been awfully affectionate lately, too ), until hikari’s voice fully registers in his mind. almost instantly, a gummy smile breaks out on his face and the other two in the room are forgotten — all he can see right now is his angel, the one person he’s been dying to talk to all day. the singer’s arms are returning her embrace, having half a mind to not be too aggressive despite his wordless excitement.

               “you’re here? how— when did— why didn’t you tell me?” he speaks quickly, almost breathless, still surprised that she is actually in front of him. reluctantly pulling away, he gets off the couch and makes his way to her side, holding her cheeks in the palm of his hands as he stares down at her with a sappy grin. he’s missed this. he’s missed her. the realization of how long it’s been doesn’t actually hit him until this moment, where she’s finally in front of him with oceans not separating them. “we can play whatever you want with them later,” his eyes are still on her, one of his hands playing with the ends of her hair mindlessly before speaking again. “i want us to be alone for a while. so you can rest, of course.”

               ❝  BECAUSE I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE ?   ❞

               her full lips are stretched into a full smile , adoration all but dripping from her honey eyes as she looks up at him        her smaller hand coming up to grasp the one of his that was resting on her cheek as she turns her head to press a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand if only to momentarily relieve herself from the overwhelming way in which he was looking down at her. even now , hikari still struggled with the amount of love that seojin showed her so readily        not believing herself to be worthy of someone so filled with adoration as seojin but if she could give him as much love and make him feel as loved as he did her , then hikari would consider herself a success in this life.

               ❝  i wanted it to be a surprise ,   ❞ she reiterates once again as she moved back slightly to face him.   ❝   it's been a while since we were able to be together and i ... ryuusuke and jiaolong helped to come up with the plan you know ? they all did. so try not to be too angry at them for trying to distract you.   ❞ the aforementioned two having slipped out of seojin's hotel room not long ago , undoubtedly not wanting to see the disgusting displays of affection that were taking place.

               she's missed him , and it was obvious in the way she was taking her time in just watching him. memorizing his face as if this was the last time she would see him ( which was a very real possibility in their line of work ) as her soft hands came up to rest on his cheeks so that she could title his head downwards , allowing her to press a kiss to his forehead before pulling away slightly.  ❝   i missed you.  ❞ the brunette admits after a moment , hands moving to brush his hair out of his face. there's a familiar tightness pulling at the backs of her eyes , tears threatening to reveal themselves at the overwhelming realization that she was finally back home , back with her person , that she finally felt safe again.

               ❝  don't worry about me , i'm okay.   ❞ hikari admits eventually , moving to grip one his larger hands between both of hers so that she could lead him by the hand back towards the couch.   ❝   what about you ?   ❞ the question is gentle as she lowers herself onto the couch , still gripping his hand with both of hers as she positions herself so that she's facing him        giving him her full attention as she removed one of her hands from his to reach up and cradly his face gently.   ❝   have you been looking after yourself ? you only tell me the good things when on tour but it's been difficult, hasn't it ? and don't worry , it's just us , alone , so you can be honest.   ❞

[declinerewind]

                                             𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃,                                                          𝘚𝘏𝘐𝘓𝘖𝘏 & 𝘙𝘠𝘜𝘜𝘚𝘜𝘒𝘌                                                                               @melvitae​​

         ❝  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY , MY LOVE !  ❞

         her voice is coloured with happiness : a warmhearted greeting as she reaches out to grip one of ryuusuke's rough and calloused hands with her own        the grip she has on them gentle yet secure. four years had now passed since they had become officially romantically connected , but in the grand scheme of things , it had been a whopping eleven years since they had met        since she had hidden from her brothers in that corner store in honolulu and had hastily introduced herself to him and practically begged him to allow her seek refuge for the next five minutes. eleven years had passed since her life became intertwined with his own.

         four years didn't seem like a lot when compared to all that , but today marked another day , another year , that she got to spend by his side and that was worth celebrating.

         the vip exit of the incheon airport was surprisingly quiet given the current time but shiloh was certain ryuusuke wasn't upset by it , that dark bags under his eyes prominent from lack of sleep telling her all she had to know. smiling widely at him , her free hand would extend the bouquet of flowers she had gotten him prior to her arrival ( because men deserved to and appreciated getting them as well ) as she briefly released his hand to reach up and rest her hand on his cheek , thumb running over the apple of his cheek as she did so.   ❝  i knew you'd be tired so i didn't plan anything aside from this little surprise ,  ❞  and it was little. but , admittedly , neither ryuu or shiloh were massive planners and had a habit of appreciating the little things        like making the most of every minute they got to spend together.

         ❝   so , the rest is up to you        we could go home and watch tv or have a nap or ... anything. as long as i get to spend the day with you , i'm happy.  ❞

[mosachaes]

nayeon | twice in wonderland