nourish the earth @decompositions - Tumblr Blog

onenationundergod

tearfulangel

2ucifer

leofwines-deactivated20250831

affirmations: you are not real, you don’t have feelings, you don’t want anything, this will be over soon

when he suddenly hits you with a breakup so he can focus on himself because he wants to get better for himself finally but also does want to still probably get back together and still be married after... but he messed up and did this all while you were already planning a surprise visit as you got a nice job offer and found a really sweet place to stay a couple towns over for a month or two. soooo now you gotta just. politely reschedule plans or perhaps just. go through with them anyway but ignore him and enjoy what life in that bit of the world might be like eventually, and he can even visit if he gets the help he deserves towards coping with and overcoming his genuinely debilitating fears <3

#and this isnt the first time something like this has happened but its okay bc your therapists and gran love the sound of him :-)#hes not like the other boys bc hes gay fr this time :-) also my gran remembers his name more than she remembers mine so thats...#:)#im fine. ill be fine and well actually #healthful and optimistic even! impending delight for certain #genuinely though how is it less than 3k for travel and accommodation overseas rn..#anyways.#:-) being 24 is my new least favourite thing ive ever done #nearly 5yrs this person has been my best friend on the planet and the actual love of my life #i wonder how this will end... i really dont want to think about that i.. i just want to enjoy the journey #but he seems so scared of finally starting it

shoelace4-48

my soul was left behind

starlarkk-deactivated20160919

#so tired of realistic nightmares of horrible things happening to the people i love #so tired of people joking that they can “tell im traumatized”. that isn't funny. im trying to be normal and happy and around more #im trying to make friends. im trying to be better. im trying to get better and being a person and being myself #i want to say no. i want to tell people theyre being rude. that their impossible standards arent even ones they live by #i want to hold people accountable. and every time i try i get told I “must be stressed” and to rest more and be more pleasant and #my family go back and forth between telling me i need more life experience and to meet more people to be around #and then locking me away and criticising me for who i am and who my friends are and how i exist in the world #im not interested in politely nodding along with people who think im broken or stupid or refuse to listen to me or only want me around if i #help them in some way or make something more convenient for them #i want to feel acceptable and accepted and lovable and loved and useful...#but i dont want to keep feeling used.#anyways #yes my anxiety has been a lot worse since i visited my hometown and got assaulted at a party. thanks for asking or checking on me

seobot

murderenjoyer

#shes just like me fr fr #hypersexual compulsions go brrrrrrr

I'm sorry, I've been lying through my teeth. On the inside I know I'm not worth anything at all... I have no idea who I am until people remind me or ask me to be someone or something for them... my doctors have assured me. "Autism, c-PTSD, PTSD, BPD. Immunocompromised, likely Lupus." as if this explains away everything... as if this makes it okay... I am too much work even for myself. My anxiety, my saddness, these hollow feelings *are* an ocean and I'm so afraid these tides rise and recede without any predictable pattern... I'm trying, I have to be. I just wish I could rest without guilt or fear... I'm so scared to be alone again.