Dylan: I’m not going to be mad, just tell me why you have fake IDs.
Jack and Lula: *inaudible mumbling*
Dylan: what?
Lula: you have to be over 18 to hold the puppies at petco…
dirt enthusiast
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
will byers stan first human second
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Xuebing Du
Show & Tell

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Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@dedication-to-boybands
Dylan: I’m not going to be mad, just tell me why you have fake IDs.
Jack and Lula: *inaudible mumbling*
Dylan: what?
Lula: you have to be over 18 to hold the puppies at petco…
dylan : what you’re doing is illegal
jack : I’m not taking advice from you. you pronounce the “g” in lasagna.
Henley: I figured out why you're such a jerk. You have updog.
Danny: What's updog?
Henley: MERRITT GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD GET HIM TO SAY IT!
Merritt: Would you please not Danny this into a situation worse than it already is?
Danny: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?
I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!
im desperate
hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine
john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink
John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?
Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that
I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster
#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he
“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”
“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“
the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”
everybody else is like “charles no”
at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for
AND HE RUNS OFF WITH DOUG JUDY
sure i guess sex is okay but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper
I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh
reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life
not risking it
Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way
I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain
“Those poor boys”
“She deserves to be punished too.”
“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”
“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”
“She put herself in harm’s way”
“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”
“She ruined their lives.”
“Well she didn’t exactly say ‘no’..”
“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”
“Boys will be boys!”
“She should know better than to drink at a party…”
Cannot not reblog.
“She should have tried to enjoy–”
“She’s just saying something now for atten-“
boy am i glad this has so many notes
“But he’s a dude. That’s not ra-”
“He should’ve enjoyed it.”
“She must’ve lead him on.”
“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “
“She’s slept with so many people! She’s a slut-“
“Get over it, at least you’re still a virgin”
“Women can’t rape because…”
“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”
“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”
“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”
“She shouldn’t have posted provocative photos!”
“She shouldn’t have been dressed like that … she was asking for it!”
“It’s the woman’s responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.”
reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time
I love this post!
“Well he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.”
“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”
“Oral isn’t rape.”
“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”
“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”
“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”
A good post
the day I do not reblog this is the day I’m buried six feet under
This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.
I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯
I think I did it wrong
Uh I reblogged this like 3 days ago and I start my new job on Monday??? Like idk how you accidentally find a job but I did.
I can’t find a post about it, but Beck Oliver is the mom friend™.
my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word
Put him on a bun. He’s ready
These unwanted interactions happen way too frequently
Why have I never seen this picture 😍