beautiful nightmare @deep-darksecret - Tumblr Blog

If the world was ending you’d come over, right?

“The other day she said to me ‘sometimes I just feel like a gas station’ and I laughed at the statement before she explained ‘people stop by to get what they need, whether it’s sex, laughter, or someone to suffocate the loneliness, until they’re full again and the last thing you ever see is them driving away’ and now I’m wondering if a gas station is all I’ll ever be”

— 02/02/2020

astridbabayan

last

love-lingrs

and i’m trying to look forward without looking for you

ketamie

i hate when i say something stupid and people are like what do you mean. if you know you know

edwardsvirginity

just thinkin… about the cullens taking time out of pretending to be high schoolers to do something Actually Cool. become spies or some shit. manipulate world politics. rob a bunch of billionaires blind. repatriate art stolen by nazis or colonizers. just rocking up to new york/london/tokyo/monte carlo/hong kong/paris/geneva/dubai and ingratiating themselves with the local socialites. sure they’re weird, but all old money families are weird. would there REALLY be that many questions about a bunch of filthy rich, devastatingly beautiful, insanely young socialites? maybe they murdered their real parents. no one cares. everyone else is a war criminal. i just need rosalie in a tight red dress with a slit to her hip flirting with an old white man at a gala while she pulls some elaborate con on him. alice becoming the hottest #influencer, sartorial legend, local celebrity, smiling as she straight up *runs* the stock market. vamp bella working for interpol to bring down an international human trafficking ring. carlisle and esme charming millions of dollars in donations out of the elite for homeless lgbt youth and free hospitals. emmett pretending to be a retired athlete and absolutely destroying professional athletes that prey on women. jasper manipulating ppl into voting for better policies by fucking with their emotions. i just desperately need the whole cullen fam in formalwear at fancy parties fucking up the lives of rich people and underhandedly setting right some global wrongs

inkskinned

inkskinned:

one time he and i were sitting in bed and i said “where do you feel stuff?” and he said “what do you mean” and i said, “here is anxiety” and pointed to my bottom left rib where the spiders start. he pointed to his throat. “it’s here for me.”

i keep anger in my breastbone, he holds it in his hands. i feel sadness on my shoulders, he feels it in his lungs.

we play this game until we come to love, and i realize that i am terrified (jugular vein) of what might come. what if it is not the same. what if he feels it somewhere else, what if it is just a flash fire, not the slow burn, what if it is congealing in one place instead of radiating, i try to change topics, flight response (sternum)

he takes my hands in his and puts them over his ribs and says, “everywhere, everywhere, like a sun is trying to escape me, like i am being consumed and you are filling up where used to be empty.” i say, “don’t be ridiculous humans are 99% empty space,” i nervous laugh (spiders down spine), he holds his gaze with me.

“everywhere,” he repeats.

strongermonster

quarantine feels kinda like that area between christmas and new years where i have no idea what day of the week it is, or if i’m supposed to be going to work. AM and PM blend together. i’ve taken four naps in 10 hours. leftovers are my primary foodsource. got that weird sunday anxiety except it’s every day for the next 2 weeks