That's What's Up!

"Embrace the complexity and appreciate the simplicity of life." ~Personal Reminder

[deepcoffeedreamer]

Some people buy themselves flowers…

I buy myself groceries from Trader Joe’s. Like treat yourself on a Monday.

[justinancheta]

Visit Original Link

Jeff Bernat ft. Mosaek | Director’s Cut (Prod. by Jbird) Download

[fuckyeahslowjams-blog]

-Justin (fuckyeahslowjams)

[souldiggin]

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Michita - Ozora Rainbow

[chibird]

Seal of approval is here for you! We need validation and acceptance, even if it's not always there for us.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[deepcoffeedreamer]

It’s been a while…

like catching up with an old friend whom you haven’t spoken too.

I haven’t touched my tumblr since August 2019. I remember this being my safe haven, letting my deepest thoughts run wild. I cried, I celebrated, I laughed, and I reflected so deeply on my tumblr. I’ve written about almost every big relationship, break up, and milestone. I’ve nodded in sentiment when I see a quote or aesthetic photo that just vibed with me. I scavenged through my archives just to let my mind wander down nostalgia and memory lane. Oh how I’ve grown. But also, there are many times I barely feel like an adult. I’m 31 for God’s sake. It’s still unbelievable how much time has passed. I guess I got here when I was going through my Facebook and slowly deleting/ putting some photos on private, esp the ones that involved my ex. I once had an ex partner before my most recent ex who argued with me about keeping old photos of his ex even though they were private for him only. At the time in undergrad I never fully understood why he’d want to keep those old photos and should just delete them if he’s happy with me. Oddly, I can somewhat relate to an inch of that feeling now of keeping some remnants to myself. How strange it feels to see us both moving on with our lives. It’s not that I miss this person romantically, however, there are times where I wonder if my most recent ex ever crossed an old photo of us and walked down memory lane as well. I was also skimming some of the posts I wrote about my journey to grad school and going through grad school. It’s strange, I’m in the job I’ve worked for relentlessly since 2014 when I finally decided to commit to PT but parts of me feel somewhat empty. I wonder if this is what the healthcare system does to you. Which roundabouts me back to the days where my recent ex was interning in pharmacy and would always complain about patients. I didn’t quite understand it fully then, but it seems like now I can grasp at the essence of burnout. Though I do feel like there is a difference in our perspectives of care and treatment, I believe I can somewhat understand just a bit now of how he felt. A part of me wishes I could apologize and say, “Sorry for not understanding your burnout.” Now as a fully employed PT, even though I do appreciate helping patients…it can be a lot at times. This system is so messed up and even then there are some people who are also a bit disrespectful yet we have to remain unbiased and treat. It’s hard…anyways what a long ride it’s been. 14 years since my first tumblr post holy smokes. Thanks for letting me ramble. Maybe I’ll start to jot down occasionally here and there just to give myself some clarity. How strange it feels to be back on here but with so much that has gone by and changed and with a new perspective and older. I wonder how younger me would’ve felt seeing where she is now.

[deepcoffeedreamer]

Concerto

I just want to feel the warmth of your hands Run down the pathway of my veins, Tenderly caress along my thighs, And play with the soles of my feet. You make a cool Summer’s night Feel like 90 degrees Cause honey you bring the fire That raises my body temperature And encapsulate all of this heat Inside me; Feels like I’m burning in flames of passion That encompass me. Blood is rushing from my head to my toes; How does one feel frozen and thawed all at once? I see our breath making little clouds in the air As we breathe in synchrony along to This rhythmic beat of my heart, Pulsating, thumping, bumping; I want to make a symphony Just for you; I want to make love Just with you.

[deepcoffeedreamer]

Wake Up

Waking up,

The light comes to kiss me 

Sneaking subtly past the glass

Of the window sill above my head. 

But I don’t want to wake up;

I don’t want to feel the warmth of reality. 

Please,

Let me go back to sleep—

Let me be still for just a few more minutes 

Just a few more seconds

I can’t move.

[deepcoffeedreamer]

“Temporary”

Pour another glass, Sip just a little more, Time seems to pass So quickly and slowly all at once; Just for a moment let’s stay like this-- I wish we could stay like this forever.

Take a seat, sit back and relax, Let’s take some time To pick our poison of choice; Let’s shotgun this glass of alcohol Together. 

You stare out the window; Red, green, yellow-- a myriad of lights Flashing back and forth Into the darkness of the night

But my gaze passes over it all Just to stare back at you. Air crisp and cool Travels past the curtains Into this tiny apartment room But your hands are softer, warmer As they cross this intimate line And they intertwine with mine.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Always be kinder than you feel.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.

Madalyn Beck (via captivatesme)

[deepcoffeedreamer]

Sometimes you have to fake it til you make; sometimes you have to tell yourself you’re good enough.  Maybe if you continue telling yourself that, one day you’ll actually start believing it too.  Time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t say how long it will take. I just want to make it. 

[deepcoffeedreamer]

I am still finding pieces of me in pieces of you.

I trace pathways with my eyes into your gaze and find familiarity and home inside you. 

It is warm, it is faint, but it does exist. 

[shepraises]

I need to learn

the art of

letting go;

of my failures

my shortcomings

my mistakes.

I need to learn

that I am human.

I am not perfect,

but I have

infinite potential.

- a.k.

[vomitingwords]

And if ever

I failed

to love you

at your worst,

I am sorry

for maybe

that’s when

I am also

trying

to look for

the best in me.

Have you seen it? //ma.c.a

[juansendizon]

Loving, destructive and sad. Some hearts are created that way.

Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon)

[tmpoem]

there is a world inside of me that isn’t connecting with the world around me breathe in breathe out how will i make it through

t.m. (via tmpoem)

[deepcoffeedreamer]

Trust the Process

I’m still figuring out the best version of myself. And though it is a journey, it is a journey worth pursuing.  I’m still figuring out the best version of myself. And though it is challenging, it is a challenge worth taking. I’m still figuring out the best version of myself. And though I am still growing, I am growing; Learning and surviving.  I’m walking into a war zone, here lies the remnants of my past, the pieces of me I have let go, buried deep in the corners of my head, But come back to haunt me in the late depths of night When my mind lies awake, restless, breathless-- Damn I’m gasping for air; What a blessing and a curse it is to grasp onto the oxygen surrounding my body;  Time and space do not cease, Reminding me that I am still here; I am still alive. Human being flesh and bone,  My blood is rushing from heart to hands and feet, Pulsating and flowing, pounding at my chest-- I’m still figuring out the best version of myself. And though it is process, it is a process worth living for all eternity.