Ranting About Stuff

30

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part thirty three

Okay so I decided to do this one from Gators POV it just made sense and instead of half picking up / half time jump I decided to just separate them so the next part WILL be a time jump ☺️

Mentions of blood, Mentions of losing people, Offers hardly any answers to your questions BUT as I said, I think its nice to see Gator suffering for once.

Previous

Next

GATORS POV

"Out of the way, Sir" One of the paramedics spoke as an arm pressed across gators chest to slowly push him away from you, Eyes flickering between you and his lifeless son resting on the bed.

Gators eyes moved back to you, slowly moving down your body to the considerable sized pool of blood building against the sheets between your legs.

"No.." Gator spoke barely above a whisper, Fuck not you too. You cant leave him like everyone else had "Fuck, She's fuckin bleedin!" Gator shouted as the paramedic who was already working on you looked over his shoulder at Gator.

Gator dropped to his knees on the floor next to you, Hand stroking the hair off your face as his eyes searched yours. Urging you to just stay, Don't leave him to do this alone.

"Cmon mama, he's here. He's finally here" He forced a smile to his face, and you looked at him. Your big eyes weren't filled with fear like he expected them to be, They were kind of glazed over he knew you weren't really listening to him. The soft smile on your face turned his stomach, What the fuck were you happy about? His life was falling apart in front of him. "H-hes perfect" Gator tried, Noticing the light slowly leaving your eyes.

"Sir you need to back up" The paramedic spoke again as he stood up once again moving Gator out of the way.

Gators hand rested against his mouth, Watching as your eyes slowly closed. Quickly turning his attention back to his son who had more people stood around him than Gator expected, Startling him a little as he tried to find a spot he could see through them to check on him.

"He okay?" Gator asked as tears rolled down his cheeks, He wanted to stay next to you and hold your hand, Be there when you finally came back around but his son needed him right now too. "Said is he fuckin okay?" He shouted, Totally ignored by them all as they got him ready to leave.

"Can I just see him?" Gator asked hand grabbing at one of the paramedics shoulders, Once again he was nudged out of the way. He watched as you were both carried away, Heart racing in his chest as he grabbed the hospital bags you'd packed together. Mind filling with the memories of you both bickering over which onesie would be best, Gator picking a navy blue one with little deers all over it and you picking a plain white one just incase he came out a girl. You throwing the white one into the bag and Gator sneaking his choice inside when you weren't looking, Dollie kissing the teddy that Gator took her out to get so she could give him a present when he arrived. Your face when you talked about having a baby shower, Something he never got round to planning with you. Guilt eating away at him of all of the things you wanted to do this pregnancy that he let slip past him, Thinking they weren't important. Hitting him like a train that they were important, They were memories now lost.

Gator let the bags drop from his hands as he walked towards your dresser, The framed photo of the three of you that day that Dollie and him set up the little photoshoot. He picked it up dragging his finger slowly across the glass, Sob falling from him as he placed it back down. Everything was perfect that day, You and Gator still weren't together but it felt good. He'd do anything to go back to that day, The four of you all safe and well. Loved.

He took in your apartment one last time, The chaos you'd both left behind before picking up the bags and following behind.

~

"Where are they?" Gator shouted as he ran into the reception of the hospital, Eyes frantic as he searched for anyone who could help him. His chest was heaving, Sweat pooling on his forehead, Hands shaking as he approached the desk looking down at the concerned woman with his wild eyes. "My- my girl and my baby..They.. FUCK" He slammed his hands down onto the desk before turning away placing his hand against his mouth as he tried to pull himself back together.

"Sir?" The woman called with a soft voice, Gator turned slowly to face her noticing the sympathetic look she carried "Would you like to give me some more information so I can help you?"

"M-my girlfriend, she had the baby at home. They're in a bad way I don't know what else to tell you" He almost sobbed as he looked around the room for any signs of you both.

"okay, okay" She tried to calm him, Typing something into her computer "Tell me her name"

So he did, The seconds it took her to find where you both were felt like days passing to Gator. Heart feeling like the moment they took you both away it disappeared.

"They're here, got here a few minutes before you. I can take you to the waiting room" She smiled softly, pushing her chair away from the desk as Gator followed behind her. " Is he dead?"

The woman shot him a sympathetic look that made his stomach turn and the lump in his throat feel impossible to swallow, His eyes searching hers as they stood at the door of the waiting room.

"I don't have that information sir, But if you wait in here I'll let the doctors know you've arrived"

Gator walked into the cold room, A sofa sat pressed up against the wall that looked like it had been there a hundred years. He wondered how many other people had sat on it in the same situation as him, How many people got told the news that there child and partner had died just as things were getting better.

Would he be the next to be told that? He couldn't shake the sight of you on the bed, He'd never seen so much blood coming from one person. The reassuring smile on your lips as you closed your eyes burned into him forever. Fuck, Why didnt he take more care of you? What if he never got the chance to tell you how much he loved you again? Why didnt he fight more when you said you wanted to stay at home? No, that wasn't your home. Your home was with him he told himself before trying to shake the unhelpful thoughts away.

His mind moved straight onto his son, The son he'd spent months dreading the arrival of incase he couldn't be a good dad to him. The son he'd promised to himself that he would be better than his dad, Head filled with plans of things he wanted to do with him, Things he wanted to show him. The way he had the same little nose that Dollie did when she was born, His long eyelashes that never moved not once as he lay lifeless in his hands. Would he ever get to see what he looked like with his eyes open? Would he ever get to smell that addicting newborn smell that he'd grown to love when Dollie was born, sad when it disappeared. Gators head was spinning, He didnt realise that he was breathing so heavily as he paced around the room, Hands shaking as he tried to steady himself feeling light headed. What if you never got to see your son? Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

Dollie, His baby girl. His pride and joy who longed for a sibling you'd both finally gave her, He remembered the day you both told her. The joy on her little face letting him know that he'd done the right thing, He always knew he'd done the right thing bringing you into her life. You'd made her life better, You'd made his life better too. How would he explain to Dollie that her mama was never coming home? How would he explain that the baby brother shed had spent so long waiting for wasn't happening anymore. How do you explain death to a six year old? The only way she'd ever know about him would be through things that Gator told her, Like a story he'd tell her at bedtime. Someone that only existed in fairytales now.

Gators chest was heaving, Sweat forming against his eyebrows as he paced around the room. The vibrating of his phone in his pocket pulling him from the thoughts.

"Gator? Where are you?" Tara spoke down the phone, Gators breath caught in his throat as he listened to Dollie giggling with baby Tommy in the back ground "We had her over night which I don't mind but you said it would be a few hours is everything okay?"

Gator bit down on his lip to try and muffle the sob that was begging to come out, Wanting to break down and tell her everything because he knew she'd listen and right now he was alone in this.

"C-can I speak ta doll?" He asked exhaling as tears clouded his vision once again "Please"

"Dollie, Daddy's on the phone" Tara called out to her "Gator? Just..Is she okay?"

Gator didnt answer, He couldn't. Not just because he knew he couldn't really tell her anything but because once he started he wouldn't be able to stop.

"Daddy?" Dollies sweet little voice called through the phone "Daddy we forgot to bring bunny with us, ive been missing him and I miss you" Dollie chattered away, A slight smile forming against gators lips as she soothed him without even knowing.

"M'sorry baby"

"It's okay daddy, Can I speak to mama too?" The question was so innocent but carried so much heaviness with it, She didnt know of course she would want to talk to you.

"Bit busy at moment Dollie girl" Gator bit down on his lip trying to muffle the sob that he couldn't hold onto anymore.

"Hmm okay" Dollie sighed "I miss mama and the baby too"

"Y-yeah, They miss you too.. Daddy's gotta go" Gator pulled the phone away from his ear for a second, head thrown back as he tried to breathe through it "I love ya baby girl" Gator whispered into the phone before hanging up.

TARA: What's going on?

He needed to tell her, He knew he did but he just hoped she didnt start freaking out.

🐊: Babies here, Both bad way. Don't freak out.

TARA: Bad way? Im coming up

Gator sighed as he pushed his phone back into his pocket, He didnt want her here but what did he expect? She was the most important person in your life.

The door to the room creaked open, eyes filled with tears as he turned to look at the doctor in the doorway. The blood still on his scrubs as he looked at him, Blank expression leaving Gator thinking the worst.

"We have your son in the NICU, We had to perform resuscitation on him" Gators heart if he had anything left of it was broken, Fear pulsing through his body as he waited for the doctor to continue "But we managed to get a pulse before we arrived at the hospital"

Gator let out a choked sob as he fell to his knees, He didnt really believe in god since breaking away from his dad but if there was one you best believe he's fucking thanking him right now.

"Fuck" He sobbed, never feeling so grateful for something in his life "My girl? Is she?.."

"She's lost a lot of blood, She's still bleeding but she's in the best hands" He sighed, Gators stomach turned as a feeling of nausea washed over him. But he had to be strong now, He promised himself once he had Dollie he never wanted to bring another child Into the world without having two parents but this was out of his control "We're doing everything we can" He spoke softly, like he knew the outcome already but didnt want to say it.

"She gonna die?" Gator asked abruptly, Not sure why he asked because he didnt want to know the answer. Right now he could just believe you were going to get better, Eventually he'd be able to bring your son to you, Show you what you'd grown finally.

"Like I said, Were doing everything we can" The doctor smiled softly at Gator who wasn't feeling anymore relived. Maybe it's what he deserved after everything he'd done, All the mess he'd bought to you. Maybe he was finally being punished for all of the lives he'd took away, Maybe it was his turn to lose someone he loved.

"Can I see my son?" Gator asked, Voice weak as he spoke not really hearing his response as everything raced through his mind but he guessed it was a no as he watched him walk through the door taking whatever was left of his heart with him.

He sat down against the sofa, letting his head fall back against the fabric. Everything feeling numb, If he slipped away with you guys now he don't think he'd care as he slowly started to drift off.

"Daddy?" Dollie called as she sheepishly stepped towards him, Gators heart basically flipped as he opened his eyes to look at her. Of course he'd care, His whole world was stood right in front of him, Except his whole world extended to the both of you too now.

Gator sobbed as he pulled her into his lap, Tara sat down on the sofa next to him wrapping her arms around them both.

"Hes okay" Gator managed to get out between peppering kisses across the top of dollies head "But she aint"

Taras eyes widened as she looked at his tear stained cheeks, The way his bottom lip was dry and sore like he'd been biting it. The sheer panic in his eyes as he looked at her, silently begging her to tell him it was all going to be okay.

Dollies eyes were locked on Gators, Little hands pressed to either side of his face as she stroked her thumbs against the stray tears.

"Is mama gonna be okay daddy?"

Gator let his head rest against dollies forehead softly, Wanting to tell her that yes, You were going to be okay. But truly he didnt know.

Tags :

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@amy-brooklyn99 @tenderlyuniquepatrol

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[deeplightblue]

God this fic is gonna be the end of me, so good but makes me cry 😭

[deeplightblue]

Thinking about it, the total number of new people I met for the past year is something like 5 I guess and here I am wondering why I can’t find my person. I really am waiting for a magic to happen I guess. No wonder I am so into fanfics

[deeplightblue]

Fictional crushes tag game!

Thanks for the tag sweetheart @sunshinereaderx 🤍🤍

1. Steve Harrington

So selfless, so soft, so lover boy coded. Charming and of course those hair!! I love this guy 😭

2. Loki

Such a bad boy! Always mischievous but so misunderstood too! It hurts so see him so lonely all the time 😭

3. Thranduil

I don’t know what it is that gets me going about this guy, I’m not even into blondes but he is so charismatic that he literally captivates me

4. Mr Whatsit

Okay this one is almost totally on Jamie Campbell Bower 😂

5. Gator Tillman

Fun fact, I haven’t even seen Fargo but all these amazing fanfics made me fall in love with this asshole. Now I’m scared that if I actually watch it the real fictional Gator won’t live up to the hype that fanfics created 😂

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part thirty

Gators starting to struggle with the thought of having a son, Miss & Gator have a little moment, a photoshoot, Gator has a stupid idea.

Soft gator, stupid gator, I'm gonna say smut but it's not, miss is just naked and its a situation some touching but not intimate areas idk? 18+

Previous part

"so are you going to believe me now?" you smile as you close the door to your apartment behind you.

"always need ta check these things mama" gator sighed as he walked into dollies room placing her down onto the bed "Need ta keep ya both healthy"

"well now you know we are" you pull the covers up over Dollie before turning towards gator "I know my body"

Gator leans down placing a kiss to the top of dollies head before you both walk out of the room.

"I know ya do but.."

"but nothing" you cut him short "YOU need to start listening" Gators chest tightened as he looked at you, maybe he was being over bearing but the guilt he carried about everything he put you through before finding out you was pregnant made him feel over protective. Like he owed you and the baby something, he felt like one little thing that he lets slip and everything will fall apart. "hey, I'm joking" you smile as you notice the way his eyes were glazed over, deep in thought.

"I know" he scoffs as he looks down at you, hands moving to rest against your bump "can't believe how soon he's comin"

"I can't believe he's a he" you giggle as you look at him, the smile slowly fading from his face as he looked down at you. "Gator?" Gators mind was racing, A son. His own son.

What if his dad was never the problem? Maybe gator was the problem and that's what made his dad act the way he did with him. Would gator be able to love his son? His dad didn't love him, he loved Dollie so much it couldn't be much different.

"Hello? Gator?"

Gators attention snapped back to you, his eyes looked glassy as he looked into yours. He almost looked scared, like something was bothering him. The thing with Gator was that he never talked, getting blood from a stone was easier than getting gator to tell you what's wrong.

"Y-yeah" he half smiled, not knowing what you were talking about.

"you okay?" you asked softly as your hand rested against his cheek, gator leaned into your touch letting his eyes close. "talk to me"

"M'fine" his eyes flickered open, straightening back up as he pulled himself back together. The walls coming straight back up around him.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" you smiled softly.

What if he laid hands on his son like his dad did him? He'd never hit Dollie, he'd never had the impulse to but was that because she was a girl? Gators eyes were still locked with yours but you could tell he wasn't really with you in the moment.

"Gator? Talk to me"

Would his son always be fighting for his approval like he was with his dad?

"What's going on?" You could see his eyebrows slowly starting to pull together, almost like he was in pain as he looked down at you.

Would his son get on his nerves constantly like he did with his dad? would his son feel embarrassed every time he spoke about something he loved just like he did?

"Gator?" You pull at his shirt to try and make him come back to you, making him jump and step back "Hey, I'm sorry" you whisper as you step back towards him "Tell me what's going on"

"M'jus tired" gator muttered as he looked down at the floor, your chest tightened as you looked at him. Clueless as to what could have gone wrong in the last few minutes to make him act this way.

"We need to be open with each other" you whisper, sensing he needed kindness right now "Let me in"

"Nothin ta tell ya" Gator smiled, walls fully back up as his usual smug expression appeared on his face. Any trace of what was just bothering him was well pushed down, hopefully to never resurface.

"You wanna stay here tonight?" You asked, not wanting him to be home alone incase he started drinking.

"Y-yeah, ill get in with doll"

"Okay" you smiled sweetly, watching his expression for any sigh of what the hell was going on. But nothing.

~

You step into the bath, warm water soothing your aching body almost instantly as you sigh. Your apartment was silent, Gator must be fast asleep just like Dollie. Your mind filled with thoughts of the next few weeks, you'd be here alone. In this silence with your new baby, you knew gator would help but those long nights were going to be lonely. You regularly thought about how different your life would have been if you'd have just gone home when gator begged you to, thinking you were doing the right thing by moving into your own place. A fresh start for you and the baby, but maybe you didn't need a fresh start.

You tried to push it all down, scrubbing at your skin with the soap like it would scrub away your worries. The sights of the stretch marks on your stomach pushing you over the edge, tears starting to build up in your eyes as you washed yourself. Would anyone ever love you again? your body had changed so much that you didn't even recognise it anymore. Fuller breasts, Stretch marks, would your skin bounce back after this?

You climbed out of the bath trying to hold yourself together, doing the worst thing you could do to yourself right now you wipe the steam off the full length mirror before looking at yourself. A choked sob falling from you as you took in your changed appearance, god you hoped this baby loved you because no one else would after this.

"Yer cryin?" gator closed the door to the bathroom as he stepped inside.

"Gator, shit im naked!" you quickly grab the towel off the side wrapping it around you clumsily as a blush creeps across your cheeks.

"Why are ya cryin?" gator stepped closer as you sat down against the edge of the bath, his heart racing over the glimpse of bare skin he caught. "Tell me mama" he pulled your chin up softly so you looked at him, his heart breaking as he looked down at your tear stained cheeks.

"Its nothing" you scoff half smiling before letting your gaze fall back to the floor "Just something I need to overcome myself"

Gators chest tightened at your words, Hitting him straight away what you were talking about. Your body, the body he craved to touch so badly. The body he thought was perfect.

"Show me"

"What?" your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him, the softness in his eyes as his thumb stroked across your cheek catching the stray tears.

"Show me what's upsettin ya" he stepped closer again, the eye contact was almost intimidating as he looked down at you. "Let me make it better"

"y- you can't" you whisper as your grip on the towel tightens, Gator notices.

"I can, mama" he replies barely above a whisper, sending a chill through you. "Let me try" his hand rests above yours on the towel, you look at him for a moment. He wasn't wearing his usual smug smile, he wasn't teasing you. He was being genuine. Your heart was racing in your chest at the thought of showing him, letting him see the body that had changed so much since the last time he'd seen it. You move your hand away slowly leaving his hand holding onto the towel.

"Yeah?" he whispered as he looked at you, soft smile creeping on his face. You nod slowly, closing your eyes so you didn't have to see how disappointed he would be.

Gators hand slowly pulled the towel away, the sound of it hitting the floor made you wince. The cold air hitting your bare body making your nipples harden and a shiver run through you. He was silent, you kept your eyes sealed tightly as you waited for him to speak.

Gators eyes roamed across your bare body, not able to speak because he was in awe. Perfect, everything.

He dropped to his knees in front of you, mouth open slightly as he took you all in. The new curves that had formed, the heaviness of your breasts, the stretch marks that covered your stomach.

"fuck" he exhaled as his hand dragged down now of your legs to your foot, lifting it up. Gator hesitated for a moment before placing a kiss to it, Trailing warm and wet kisses up your leg slowly, every so often looking up to see if you'd opened your eyes yet.

You gasped at the sensation of it, not being touched in weeks to then be touched so softly. Gators kisses slowly moved higher, reaching your thighs as he groaned softly, big hands squeezing them as he returned to leaving opened mouthed kisses and nips to them. "so perfect" he sighed, finally being able to be this close to you, to touch you. His hands moved up to your stomach, softly moving over it before his mouth followed, placing kisses against the pattern of your stretch marks letting you know once again how beautiful he thought they were. Your body was on fire, thighs trying to squeeze together but his warm body was in the way.

"so- so pretty" he hummed as he moved closer to your breasts, fingers softly touching the underneath of one of them making you shiver again. You opened your eyes to look down at him, the way he was basically worshipping your body doing something to you that you couldn't explain. "My pretty girl.."

The words hit you like a truck, reality setting in as you quickly stood up. You'd done it again, fell for his tricks and let him straight back in.

No, you didn't, he was trying to help you. You're blowing it all into something it's not you tried to convince yourself.

"Shit, Gator" you groaned as you grabbed the towel off the floor, Gator looked up at you from his knees mouth slightly open. Expression like a puppy that had just been kicked, You wrap the towel around you before walking out of the bathroom.

~

"M'sorry" gator said as he followed you into your room "Jus wanted ta.." he stepped closer to you, looking at your wide eyes "Fuck, jus wanted ta make ya feel..better"

"I know" you whisper half smiling at him "Im not mad at you"

"Yer not?" Gator whispered as he stepped closer.

"No"

"Good" he exhales as he looks at you "ya know m'not tryin ta push" he whispers as he holds onto your hand.

You look at him for a moment, the way his eyes weren't filled with lust but something else. His eyes searching yours for an answer as you looked at him. Everything in your body screaming at you to say do it again, I wont stop you this time. Let him love on you like he wanted to.

The room was silent, just the warmth of his hand on yours keeping you grounded as your body ached to be touched by him.

"Let's pack tha bag" His words shook you from your thoughts, maybe it was just you feeling this pull between you.

"Bag?"

"Yeah, need it packed mama." Gator yawned as he stretched his hands above his head, the bottom of his shirt riding up a little to expose the patch of dark hair there. Your eyes instantly fell to it, fuck you missed him. "Ya there?" Gator smirked as your gaze moved back up to his eyes. "Or ya seen somethin better ta do?"

"Gator" you scoffed as you shook your head. "Okay let's do it" you smiled.

"Yeah?" Gator grinned as he looked at you, hand moving to your hip as he stepped closer.

"The bag" you laughed pushing a hand into his chest to put space back in-between the two of you, your heart melted at the cheeky smile that grew on his lips.

"Sure, tha bag" Gator teased as he started to laugh, pulling you into him. "S'better aint it" he spoke softly, changing the tone of the mood.

"What is?"

"This, us" his chin rested against the top of your head "Jus, gettin on"

"Mhm" you smiled as you wrapped your arms around him, Maybe you were better off as friends, co parents. "Maybe this is all we were ever meant to be?" you looked up at him from his chest, The smile fading from gators face as he looked down at you.

"Ya think?" Gators heart was racing, he'd never thought about you in a way that wasn't love. The thought turned his stomach, the end goal for him was always together. A family.

"Maybe?" you half smiled "All I know is since we stepped back from each other, things seem..better"

Gator bit down on his lip, realisation hitting him that in the last day you'd spoken about meeting someone new and now that you were better separated. Thoughts racing through his mind how he could show you that you couldn't live without him, just like he couldn't live without you.

~

"Think mama will let us?" Gator whispered from Dollies bedroom, pulling out the craft box you'd perfectly put together under her bed for her.

"Mama loves sparkly things daddy" Dollie tried her best to whisper back, it was 6:30am and they were both up already. Gator had been awake most of the night, thinking of ways to make you feel better about yourself.

"We gotta be quick, ya got school"

Dollie huffed as she sat down on the floor opposite him, Gator pulled the gem stickers from the craft box passing them to her.

"Wow" Dollie grinned as she placed them down "Shall we get mama?"

She didn't give him time to answer before making the choice herself, running through the door into the hallway.

"MAMAAA SUPRISEEEE"

You opened the door to your room, eyes still full of sleep as you looked at her your heart racing from being startled from your sleep.

"Dollie.. What's wrong"

"Come, Mama" She grabbed onto your hand guiding you back into her room, you looked over at gator who looked as tired as you did. Sleeping with Dollie in a single bed clearly doing him no good you thought.

"Thought wed do somethin special fer ya" He smiled softly as your eyebrows furrowed "Know ya probably wanted ya makeup done for this or somethin but its getting closer now mama, thought we could take some pics"

Your heart fluttered in your chest, you smile down at Dollie who can't contain her excitement any longer. She holds up the pack of gems towards you.

"They were her idea" Gator scoffs as he wraps his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "But I think its a good idea"

"What are they for?" you smile as you sit down next to them, gators eyes meeting you for a moment before turning back towards Dollie.

"We're gonna stick them to the baby!" she squeals.

"The bump" Gator corrects, looking at you to make sure you were comfortable with that. "If that's ok with ya?"

"Perfect" you smile softly, leaning against the bed pulling your shirt up to expose it.

"Come on daddy!" she giggles as she starts pulling the gems off the paper, taking her time placing them against the skin of your bump. Gator used a different technique, sticking the gems against your stretch marks.

You watched as they chatted away, discussing what gems were there favourite and trying to work out a pattern so there wasn't a lump of the same ones in one area.

"what ya think?" Gator asked as he looked up at you, your eyes moving back down to your bump that was now decorated, Your breath caught in your throat for a moment. For the first time when you looked at it you didn't feel disgusting. You felt love.

"I think.. You did a great job" You whispered as you kissed the top of dollies head "Its beautiful"

"It is" gator smiled as he looked at you "Even with out alla this shit"

You smiled at his words, butterflies fluttering through you as you looked between them.

"Let's take some pics" Gator clapped his hands together pulling you both from yet another moment.

"Wait!" You smiled looking over at Dollie "There's still some of these left"

Gator looked at you both confused by the smiles growing on your faces, Dollie knew instantly.

You placed the gems against her small hands, pink and purple little gems shaped like hearts and stars. The smile on her face when you'd finished made it all worth it.

"Daddies turn!"

Dollie pulled gators hands towards you, giggling as you placed the gems against his skin as he rolled his eyes.

"What do I need em fer?"

"I want you all in the photos, I told you that" you whisper as you look at him, gators chest tightened as the feeling of being wanted for once washed over him. He was involved, he was important, he wasn't just going to be the babysitter. You wanted him in the memories.

Gator grabbed his phone, taking photos of you, the bump, Dollie with the bump, you holding Dollie. His heart fluttering away in his chest as he looked at the genuine happiness between you both,The lump in his throat getting harder to swallow.

"Now prop it up somewhere" you smile at him as you looked through the photos he'd already taken "Set a timer"

"S'ok, aint really one fer photos"

"Please" you looked into his eyes, bottom lip pouting as you nudged Dollie, she looked at you before quickly realising what you were asking of her.

"Please daddyyyyy" Gator looked down at her, the pout on her lips as her long eyelashes flutter before turning towards you noticing the smirk on your face.

"Fine" Gator sighed as he placed the phone onto dollies bedroom dresser before walking over to you both "but no one sees these, there jus fer us"

"Of course!" You grinned knowing full well as soon as these were printed they would be all over your desk at work.

~

Gator sat on the sofa in the quiet house, Dollie at school as thoughts raced through his mind how he could get you back home. He'd tried being softer, it was working but not fast enough. You were starting to see him as more of a friend he thought. He needed something to shock you, something to make you realise that he could back away just like you kept telling yourself you wanted him to do. It was a dangerous game but he'd already lost you to a degree, it couldn't get any worse.

The thing is when Gator has an idea, it rarely ends well.

🐊: Cn ya get Dollie from school today and drop her to me at the house? Gta do sumthin

YOU: Of course! See you soon 🤍

Gator looked down at your message, did he really want to possibly break down what you were slowly building together? Would it really work? He wasn't sure, but he was going to try anyway.

~

Gator opens the door grinning down at you both, you smile sheepishly as your brows begin to furrow. He was never normally this happy to see you, Dollie? Yeah but right now he was looking at you.

"You're..happy" you scoff as Dollie runs past you wrapping her arms around his legs.

"Dollie girl, got someone I want ya ta meet" he kissed the top of her head before looking back up at you smirking. "Ya comin in?" he doesn't give you time to answer, wrapping his arm around your shoulder guiding you into the house.

"Gator, I have things to.." he guides you inside closing the door behind you both, eyes locked onto you like he was waiting for you to say something. You laugh a little nervously before turning to see where Dollie had gone.

You noticed her straight away, the girl about your age sat on the sofa. Thin, pretty, just his type. Your stomach turned as you looked at her, Dollie equally as confused as she stood in front of her.

Was this some kind of sick joke?

You turned your head slowly to look at gator who was stood next to you, hands on his hips smug smirk on his lips.

"Needed a new nanny"

GUYS, Ive had a really shitty day today so if you have any strong feelings about this part can you please be nice about it. I also haven't had time to proof read so anything iffy mind ya business😂 And, Going forward im going to leave bigger gaps between parts. Ive been doing every 2/3 days and sometimes it feels bit rushed just so I can get it out. 💖 Love u xx

I@louisbelongstome28 @sainzzbrina @midnightmartini @simsimstay2017 @imdjoverit @xceafh @kristywidget97 @keerygirlie98 @storietilman

@amy-brooklyn99 @tenderlyuniquepatrol

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@projections-mortal @michaelssassygirrrl

@camsbooksworld @laliceee @queenofconeyislandd @disiscami @eller41

@ophelialilly @soggycerealtbh @rubywillkins

@batmanssssss @skkeletonns @amirafloral

@mojosodoppe @pinkiepieshepardspie @cuddlyeren @kurtsw7rld96 @needylittlebabyintherain @st4rg1rl88 @luminousdoomsellsword @allthelove-a @bellaxwoods @delphinemix @dopeysunflowers @mr-mountebank4444

@gxorgxa0000 @crescentwillow @foreverdjofan @4v3rybl0zz0m @kissalready @potion-keery @partydulce @us3r4682 @drlangdonapologist @puertoricanmami87

[deeplightblue]

Just took a warm shower and read my fav fic before sleep, life is good 🤍🤍

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear dollie | Part twenty eight.

Baby appointment, time jump of two months (Halfway through), soft gator, bittersweet, Telling Dollie about the baby. Also a little bit of this ask in here. Some of you will be happy with the situation in the time hop, some of you won’t and you know what? I think this parts really sad but in such a sweet way. Sorry 🫢

“Have you heard anything?” Tara rests her hand on your shoulder as you lean up against the kitchen counter.

“No” you sigh as you lock your phone. “I just worry about Dollie, she’s gotta be confused”

“She’s not yo..she’ll be fine, he raised her alone for all those years remember” Tara gives your shoulder a squeeze “you can stay here as long as you want, you know that”

“But..” you smiled as you looked up at her, making her laugh.

“But.. I think it would be worth finding something for yourself, you’re gonna need a nursery soon”

“I’m already on it, I have an appointment today then I have a viewing” your stomach turned as you said it, you didn’t want the stress of finding somewhere new to live, you didn’t want to be alone. But you wouldn’t be alone for long, it would be you and your baby before you knew it.

~

You heard his footsteps before you saw him, followed by the strong smell of alcohol.

“Mornin” you turned to face him, he was in his work clothes but his hair was lose. Hanging down into his eyes, dry blood still coating his knuckles.

“Did you take dollie to school like this?” You whispered as you moved your bag off the chair so he could sit next to you.

“Y-yeah” he exhaled as he looked at you, sadness in his eyes. “M’sorry bout yesterday” he looked straight ahead, like he couldn’t bring himself to look at what he’d done again. “I thought I’d hurt ya, thought I’d hurt tha baby”

You let the silence settle between the two of you for a moment, gators knee anxiously bouncing next to you as he waited for you to answer him.

“Ya gonna come home?”

“No”

“Doll misses ya, I miss ya”

You stared at him, blank expression on your face.

“Go and clean yourself up gator, you’re a mess”

~

The soft hum of the machine filling the silence in the room, gator looked semi presentable after cleaning himself up a little.

You could feel him looking over at you, like he needed reassurance.

Gator sat in the chair next to you elbows resting on his knees, chest tight as he watched the doctor set everything up. He needed to know if everything was okay, maybe it would ease some of the guilt that was eating away at him.

The silence in the room didn’t help, giving his head chance to keep replaying things. Why weren’t you coming home? Were you staying with Tara?

“Right then” the doctor said softly as she squirted the cold jelly onto your stomach “Let’s have a look at this little one.”

Your breath caught in your throat but it wasn’t just from the cold jelly against your warm skin, it was the fear of what you were about to find out. You’d hardly slept last night going over and over in your head about different scenarios that could happen today, it was one of those situations where you needed to know but also didn’t want to know.

The doctor turned the screen towards you both as she moved the wand across your stomach, this time you realised what you were looking at straight away.

A tiny heartbeat filled the room.

Your body instantly relaxed, the baby had a heartbeat.

Gator exhaled next to you, hand running over his face as his big eyes looked at the screen. A soft smile starting to creep against his lips, his hand reached over to rest on top of yours.

“S’ok” he whispered as his thumb stroked over your hand.

The doctor didn’t say anything, she didn’t even look in your direction as she kept taking measurements, you watched as she started typing into the computer. The longer it went on, the more serious her expression was.

“Is everything okay?” You asked barely above a whisper. The doctor finally looked up at you and gator, your expressions must have shown how you were really feeling because she squeezed yours hands before giving you both her full attention.

“Baby’s heartbeat looks good, movement looks good, and everything we’re seeing today is positive.”

“Why ya look all sympathetic then?” Gator scoffed as he looked up at her, anxiety weighing heavy in his chest.

The doctor shot gator a look before continuing.

“I know at your last appointment the baby was small for the gestation, the baby still hasn’t caught up and is still measuring smaller than we’d expect for eighteen weeks”

Your stomach turned, sadness washing over you as you bit down on your bottom lip. You’d been hopeful the baby would have caught up by now, you’d been looking after yourself, taking the vitamins that gator got you, eating properly.

“How small?” You whispered as gators grip on your hand tightened.

“Not dramatically small, but small enough that I’d like to continue with regular growth scans”

“Why ain’t it growin?” Gator asked before leaning back in his chair, knee anxiously bouncing again.

“Sometimes babies are just small, especially if one or both parents are smaller” She offers you both a reassuring smile. “But it’s something I want to watch, to make sure the baby continues to grow steadily”

“Are we.. are we going to lose the baby?”

“No” gator answered for the doctor, turning to meet your eyes. “We ain’t gonna lose tha baby” he spoke softly, turning back towards the doctor hoping she’d be able to back him up.

“We can never answer things like that unfortunately” she smiled “but right now, your baby is growing and that isn’t something I’m concerned about”

You exhaled, trusting the doctor, Maybe dollie was also small? You’d have to ask gator.

“So, now that’s out of the way” the doctor turned the screen away from you as she laughed. “We can determine the baby’s sex if that’s something you’re interested in?”

Gator immediately opened his mouth, eyebrows raised as he looked between you and the doctor.

“Fuckin hell yeah we do” gator grinned as he leaned forward in his seat.

“No” your reply was short, blunt. You wanted to know, of course you did but like this? No. You wanted to find out with dollie, you wanted to see her reaction to finding out if she was getting a little brother or sister.

Gators head turned towards you, brows furrowed as his mouth fell open. The doctor looking between you both, unsure who’s answer to take.

“So..a no?” The doctor asked cautiously as she looked at you, you shook your head slowly.

“I don’t want to know today” you turned towards gator who was frowning now, he’d noticed you hadn’t really mentioned the pregnancy much. Hadn’t really discussed the future or even started buying things but he thought it was because you were scared.

“Ya dont?” He asked, barely above a whisper as you turned towards him.

“No”

The doctor looked between you both again, sensing something in the air. Maybe tension.

“We can write the result down, pop it in an envelope for you to take home?” The doctor offered, making you smile.

“Yes, that works for me”

The doctor smiled before turning back to the computer getting to work, gators hand stays attached to yours as you wait in silence for the doctor to finish.

~

“Ya really gonna make us wait?” Gator asks as he looks down at you stood next to your car.

“It’s something to look forward to when all this.. settles” you half smile as you push the envelope into your bag. “I have to go” you turn to get in the car, gators hand quickly grabbing your arm to stop you.

“I meant it y’know? M’sorry” his thumb brushed over the fabric of your jacket soothingly “wanna get a coffee? Can talk properly or somethin” you notice how awkward gator looked, going out together was something neither of you did together.

“I- I can’t” you open the car door getting inside as your heart races, gator leans down into the car.

“Where ya goin?”

“I’m viewing an apartment” you watched the colour drain from his face, eyes widening.

“Ya ain’t gotta do all tha, M’sorry pretty girl” his tone was soft but you could see the panic in his eyes “please, mama”

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Where ya want this?” Gator held the large box in his arms, adamant you wouldn’t be doing any of the heavy lifting at all.

“Bedroom” you smiled at him, dollie ran past you into the other bedroom. You followed behind her smiling as you noticed her tiptoeing to look out of the window, you wrapped your arm around her as you crouched down next to her.

“You like it?” You smile as she turns to face you, grin on her own face.

“I love it mama!” She giggled as she wrapped her arms around your neck kissing your cheek “what’s in these big boxes?”

Gator raises his eyebrows as he looks at you both, heart fluttering in his chest.

“Ya don’t miss a thing do ya” he scoffed ruffling the hair on the top of her head.

“In her defence they are massive and in her room” you laugh as you look at him.

“Shall we?” Gator mumbles as he looks down at you, you nod slowly butterflies fluttering through your stomach.

Gator sits down on the floor next to you both, holding a hand out to dollie.

“Ya noticed mamas gettin all fat a tha?”

“Daddy!” Dollie gasped as she held onto his hands “kind words please!”

“You tell him, dollie girl” you giggle

“Well, I know ya already guessed somehow.. fuckin strange tha” gator shot you a concerned look before laughing. “Mamas growin a baby”

“A baby?” Dollie’s eyes widened, her other little hand hovering about your bump that had really popped in the last month. “A real baby?”

“Mhm” you smiled as you pulled her hand to rest against your bump, her mouth turning into a soft smile as she looked between you and gator.

“My baby” she giggled “oh!” Dollie pulled her hand away quickly, you gasped.

“You felt that?” You could feel the tears forming in your eyes as you looked at her. A kick, the first real kick and dollie got to feel it. “That was the baby saying hello to you” you giggled as you wiped the tears away from your eyes.

Gator exhaled trying to swallow down the lump in his throat as he looked down at the two of you bonding over it, Dollie’s hands back in place as she giggled everytime the baby kicked at her hand.

“Daddy quick” dollie squealed as she grabbed his hand, gator looked at you for a moment waiting for you to give him permission. You pulled his hand onto your bump, the familiar warmth making you feel sad for a moment.

Gators eyes widened as he felt the tiny kick against his palm.

“Fuck..” he spoke softly keeping his eyes on his hand, sniffling his nose as emotions of everything that had happened in the last few months melting away. He was just here with you and his children.

“It’s okay” you smiled at him noticing his glassy eyes “it’s all gonna be okay” you smiled placing your hand on top of his.

It took four weeks to get to this point with gator, four weeks of him begging at Tara’s door for you to come home, four weeks of flowers left in the packaging until they died, four weeks of your favourite coffee left to go cold on the door step, four weeks of you only seeing dollie on weekends.

Four weeks to realise things were toxic in that home, not much time in reality. But enough. Four weeks for gator to accept you weren’t coming home and if he wanted you in his life this was the only way he could do it.

So he did, he helped when he could. He checked in on you randomly before work, he took you to all of your appointments, he even designated one day a week to take you for coffee.

“I know” he sniffled as he looked up at dollie who was sat smiling at the two of you, eyes filled with love. “So the boxes” he laughed as he looked over to you “they’re your beds.. well one’s a..crib”

“Sharing with the baby?!” Dollie clapped her hands together as she looked at you both.

“At mamas, yeah” gator smiled but his chest pulled tight, you squeezed his hand softly and he returned it.

“Yay!” Dollie squealed, used to the new dynamic of her life, weekends at yours. Gator wasn’t so used to it yet, but he was trying. He hoped one day it would all fall back into place, that you’d all share a home and be a family.

“She’s happy” you smiled, gators eyes coming to meet yours as he sighed nodding his head.

“Better get ta buildin” he smiled as he walked towards the boxes leaving you sat with dollie.

“Is the baby happy too mama?”

“So happy, all snuggled up cosy in here” you laughed as you rested your hand against your bump.

“Will the baby be here soon?” Her eyes were filled with excitement and love as she stroked her hand across you stomach.

“Very soon now, dollie girl” you kissed the top of her head as you blinked back your own tears, god you loved her.

“Need any help?” You asked as you walked over to gator who was making good progress on the crib, he turned towards you with a soft smile on his face.

“Nah, rest” he moved his hand towards your bump eyes flicking back to yours until you nod. He placed both hands against it like he was cradling it, thumbs brushing against it “can’t believe ya finally have a belly” he teased.

“Not for long, I was thinking of getting some photos taken” you smiled as you looked at him nervous if he’d think that was silly.

“Fuck yeah, I can take em if ya want”

“Oh.. I thought maybe you could be in them? Memories for the kids”

Gators stomach turned, not in a totally bad way. Just that he thought he’d be on the side line forever now, there but never really part of it.

“Y-yeah.. ” he half smiled.

“It’s called a maternity shoot, I already looked into it all. I just thought when they’re older they can look back on them” you sighed “and so can we”

Gator nods as he bites down on his bottom lip, he didn’t know if he wanted the memories of everything he almost had.

“Better get back ta..” he gestured towards the half built crib.

“Oh, yeah” you smiled softly letting your hand rest against his shoulder for a moment so he looked at you “you’re doing great, Gator”

“M’tryin pret” he stopped himself quickly.. M’tryin”

“Oh I was thinking” you turned back towards him, you noticed the smirk growing on his lips.

“Dangerous”

You slapped his arm playfully before rolling your eyes at him.

“Now doll knows.. we should open the envelope”

“Now?” Gators eyes widened, since you’d had the envelope there hadn’t been a day he hadn’t asked or text you about it.

“No” you laughed softly “we could do something cute.. like a cake maybe”

“Tha fucks a cake got ta do with a baby?”

You sigh as you grab your phone off the side, searching for a video to show him.

“Here!” Gator took the phone from your hands as he watched the video, his eyebrows raising.

“If that’s what ya want”

“I think it’ll be cute, maybe we could invite some people round here..” you looked up at gator who didn’t look very impressed at the idea. “You don’t want to, do you?”

“S’fine”

“Gator.. I know you’re trying to change but it doesn’t mean you can’t say when you don’t like something”

“I jus.. I think I want it ta be jus tha three of us” he shrugged looking down at the floor.

“That sounds perfect” you spoke softly “I’ll find a baker online and we can go from there”

Gator stepped forward into your space, fingers brushing some stray hair from your eyes.

“Yer different lately”

“I am?” You smile.

“Jus like when I met ya, yer glowin” gators stomach turned at his own words, the realisation that being with him drained that from you. “M’sorry fer doin that ta ya”

“Hey.. we’re doing okay now, don’t dwell on it”

“Ya think we will ever come together again?”

You sigh as you look at him, his eyes widening straight away as he realises he’d said too much again.

“Shit, sorry” he mumbled.

“I think.. things are good as they are”

Gator nodded slowly before turning his attention to Dollie who was falling asleep on the floor, a full day of school taking it out of her.

“I should finish this then get her home”

It was difficult, standing by your decision to leave gator and move out of the house. There were days where you questioned if you did the right thing, the days where he’d call constantly it would have been easier to pick up and go back to him.

But you couldn’t, your baby needed you to be happy. You needed to focus everything you had on getting the baby here safely, Tara helped you. Holding you through the nights you sobbed thinking you’d ruined everything, that the baby would never forgive you for breaking up the family. It would be so strange waking up tomorrow in your own home, no baby Tommy babbling away.

Things with gator were good now, he’d basically become your best friend in the last four weeks. You’d call him everytime something went wrong and he’d offer to come and help you, you always shot him down but it never stopped him trying.

Dollie would spend the weekend at Tara’s with you, it was nice to have some girly time with her and see her bond grow with Tommy. Now having your own place was even better, she’d have her own room. You had so many plans what you could do to it for her, you’d spend your evenings on Pintrest and had even started some decor projects for in there.

Gator was changing, he was softer with you. He never pushed you and he learnt that saying sorry wasn’t enough, he had to prove he was and so far he was doing a great job at it. You knew he wanted you back, you could see it in his eyes every time you looked at him. You also noticed it in the way he always hesitated when it was time to say goodbye after your coffee dates, the way he’d awkwardly fight himself about if he was allowed to hug you or not.

You saw the sadness in the way he carried himself today as he filled his truck with all of your belongings, like he thought it would never come to this and truthfully you wished it hadn’t. You loved him, but you had to love yourself right now.

~

“Done” gator smiles as he walks into your kitchen, making you jump. “Shit, sorry” he laughs.

“Let me see” you smile, excitement running through your body as you walk towards the bedroom.

“Ya like it?” Gator asks as he walks in behind you, you drag your hands across the wooden frame as tears start to well in your eyes.

“It’s perfect, I can’t believe it’s really happening”

“I know” gator whispers as he cautiously wraps an arm around around your waist letting his head rest on top of yours.

“Thanks for helping me move, and for this” you gesture to the crib “it means a lot”

“S’ok, told ya I’d always be here” you smile softly at him before stepping away exhaling.

“I need to sleep, work tomorrow”

“Ya still enjoyin it?”

“It’s hard but I’m only doing part time hours and I leave for maternity soon” you shrug.

“Proud of ya, mama”

You smile as Dollie walks towards you both, wrapping her arms around you so her face is pressed into your bump.

“Is the baby okay mama”

“Baby’s all good, you’re the best big sister already” you smile letting your hand rest on the top of her head as she nuzzles into you.

So, I feel like this could be left here. Everyone’s happy (in a way). So if you’ll read it, I’ll write it. If you want me to continue writing parts we could build up the friendship HEALTHILY and maybe bring them back together or have them co-parent and see them be parents together and all that or we can just leave that to the imagination.

Soo..

More parts 🤍

Leave it to the imagination💙

Me 🫶🏻

Voting ended onJun 20

@louisbelongstome28 @sainzzbrina @midnightmartini @simsimstay2017 @imdjoverit @xceafh @kristywidget97 @keerygirlie98 @storietilman

@amy-brooklyn99 @tenderlyuniquepatrol

@deeplightblue @exooojongdaeee @laliceee

@dizzyrizzy444 @thoroughlymimi @emmasreaderacc @oohgeminii @sunflowergir62

@projections-mortal @michaelssassygirrrl

@camsbooksworld @laliceee @queenofconeyislandd @disiscami @eller41

@ophelialilly @soggycerealtbh @rubywillkins

@batmanssssss @skkeletonns @amirafloral

@mojosodoppe @pinkiepieshepardspie @cuddlyeren @kurtsw7rld96 @needylittlebabyintherain @st4rg1rl88 @luminousdoomsellsword @allthelove-a @bellaxwoods @delphinemix @dopeysunflowers @mr-mountebank4444

@gxorgxa0000 @crescentwillow @foreverdjofan @4v3rybl0zz0m @kissalready @potion-keery @partydulce @us3r4682 @drlangdonapologist

[deeplightblue]

What I wouldn’t give for being a fandom member to be my fulltime job 😭 My job is draining my life energy out of me and I don’t even have it in me to apply to other jobs. Can’t I get paid by just reading Joe Keery fanfics and gossip?

Would love to get any fic recommendations btw

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part twenty five

Gator & miss are doing well together, Blake is making miss feel uncomfortable.

Unwanted advances, little bit of smut but not really I guess. 18+

Previous part

Next part

“It’s strange to see you this side of the door” Blake laughed from behind you, you turn slowly to face him. Oh shit, the last time you spoke to him was when you kicked him out of your house after letting him think he was about to get lucky.

“I know” you sigh as you wait outside Dollie’s classroom door, awkwardly turning back around hoping that’s the end of the conversation.

“There’s been another job opening, at my son’s high school if you’re interested” he stepped forward so he was next to you now, his arm brushing against your shoulder. “I could help you again?” He smiled down at you.

“I think I’m just gonna take some time off from working” you gave him a quick half smile, pulling your phone out of your pocket to check the time to see how much longer you had to suffer this awkward encounter. “Spend some time at home”

“That’s a shame” he sighed looking down at your phone “here” he grabbed your phone from your hands before you had chance to stop him “my number for if you want the info put your number in here” he pushed his phone into your hands before giving you chance to think. Eyes burning down into you as he waited for you to do as he asked, so you did.

“Done” you half smile as you pass him the phone back, stomach turning.

“Wanna take the girls to the park?” Your stomach turned, why isn’t he taking the hint. He must have noticed the expression on your face as he took a step back “just friends” he raised both hands in the air laughing.

“N-“

“Mama!” Dollie shouted as she wrapped her arms around your legs, you look down at her smiling softly.

“Hey baby!”

“Girls! What do you say we go to the park?” Blake cut in, grinning down at the girls. You skin was prickling with anxiety as you look at him.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” The girls screamed holding onto each others hands.

“Dollie, daddy will be home soon. We should get going” you nervously smiled at her, praying she wouldn’t fight you on this today.

“It’s cool, just half an hour” Blake pushed as he stepped closer to you, eyes burning into you.

“Please mama” Dollie begged as she jumped up and down in front of you.

You exhaled as you looked at her, she had you right where she wanted you at all times.

“Okay, not for long” you smile at her.

The walk to the park was mostly silent, from you anyway. The girls were happily skipping together and chatting away, Blake was talking to you about how his relationship with his wife ended. You tried to drown it out, not really giving a fuck as you just nodded.

At the park it didn’t get much easier, the girls played together while you watched. Blake went on and on and on not getting the hint that you didn’t want to hear it, you didn’t even want to be here.

“So, you never told me what happened with him” this caught your attention, turning towards him as you looked at him. Fuck, Gator. You knew having to tell him you were here with Blake today wouldn’t go down well, but in your defence you didn’t even want to do it.

“We.. we sorted it” you smiled softly, noticing the way his expression dropped as he looked at you “we’re back together”

“Oh” Blake looked down at the floor before forcing a smile and looking back at you “wasn’t expecting that” he scoffed.

“He made some mistakes, don’t we all” you let out a breathy laugh as you look at him, his expression blank as he looked at you. You could feel the panic rising through your body, his eyes felt intense as they watch you.

“doesn’t mean it can’t happen”

“What can’t happen?” You looked at him confused, heart beating in your chest rapidly. Oh god you felt scared, why did you feel scared?

“I know you like me, just like I like you” Blake scoffed, shuffling closer to you on the bench “Wouldn’t have invited me round that time if you didn’t, No one has to know”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked into his eyes, fuck had you really given him that impression?

“N-no” you started to shake your head “I don-“

“Hey! If it’s easier not to admit it, that’s fine by me” his hand settles against your thigh squeezing it, your eyes shoot down to where it rested before looking back up at him “we can make it work” he smirked as his hand slowly moved further up your thigh.

“Dollie! We have to go” you called as you practically jumped up off the bench, heart racing as you walked towards her.

“But mama..” Dollie pouted as her friend held onto her arm also pouting.

“Please baby” you quietly pleaded and to your surprise she didn’t fight you, holding onto her hand as you turn with her bumping straight into Blake who was right behind you.

“Did you ever tell him about that day?” He whispered next to your ear, sending a chill through your body. You turned your face away from him, looking down at Dollie whose eyes were wide as she looked between the two of you. “I’d hate to have to break the news to him”

“Stop” you whisper “it was nothing. I was in a bad place, this is.. nothing. I’m happy” you tried your hardest to convince him, maybe he’d back off it he knew how happy you really were.

Blake let out a sarcastic laugh as you gripped onto Dollie’s hand tighter, her big eyes looking up at you with worry.

“Wasn’t nothing and isn’t nothing” you feel the sick rising in your throat as his breath hits yours lips, quickly stepping back from him.

“I said STOP” you snap.

You swallowed hard as you looked at him, everything in you telling you to run but you were frozen with genuine fear. Maybe you could call gator? He’d help diffuse the situation but how would you explain to him that you’d got yourself into this situation in the first place. Fuck.

“Same time tomorrow?” He smiled picking the tone of his voice back up looking down at Dollie “make sure mama brings you” he squeezes her cheek softly before walking away.

~

You slam the door of the house behind you, gator wasn’t home yet.

You were thankful, the expression on your face he would know something was wrong. At least you had a few hours to pull yourself together before he got home.

“Chase me!” Dollie giggled as she ran towards the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder every so often “c’mon mama!”

“Coming” you smiled as you ran towards her, thoughts of everything that happened at the park flooding your head making you stop dead in your tracks.

“Mama?” Dollie’s eyes focused on your face, you looked down at her smiling softly “got ya” you reached out pulling her into you.

“Your doing the sad smile” she pouted “I don’t like the sad smile”

Your chest tightened at her words, she deserved your full attention. Not whatever this was.

“Let’s get you some dinner, yeah?” You smiled softly as you ran your hand over the cheek that Blake had squeezed.

“Okay mama” she smiled as you watched her drag the chair from the table towards the kitchen counter so she could reach the sides.

You kept your mind as focused as possible on Dollie, it wasn’t too hard with how much she chatted. She told you all about her day at school, her friends and even about what she wanted to read tonight in bed. You nodded along as you listened to her, making all the right sounds as she explained things to you. But your mind kept flicking between the baby, gator, and how you suddenly felt so un easy about Blake. He’d always been so understanding in the past, you’d even class him as a friend so what changed? Why did you feel sick about him when you thought of him? The way he touched your skin made your body shake, it felt wrong on all levels. It was unwanted.

Everything moved quickly before you knew it you’d ate, bathed Dollie and tucked her safely in bed. You hopped into the shower trying your best to scrub the memories of today away, the only sound through the house was the sound of the water hitting the floor. Relaxing, almost.

You pulled one of gators old T-shirts onto your wet body as you stepped out of the shower, not bothering to dry off. You picked up your phone off the side, only ten minutes until he usually walked through the door.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, hand resting against your stomach as you forced a smile to your face. He couldn’t know, you couldn’t ruin this.

~

“Evenin”

“Gator” you pushed up off the sofa walking towards him, hair still dripping down your back as you reached him. Wrapping your arms around his waist as your head rested against his chest.

“Yer like a drowned rat” he laughed as he rested one of his hands against the back of your head “got ya these on my break” you stepped back watching as he dug his hands into his pocket before pulling out the little bottle.

“What is it?” You reached your hand out towards it, he placed them gently into your hand as he watched your expression soften.

“Vitamins, thought ya could use em while ya get ya self back right with ya eatin an all tha”

You smile up at him, heart fluttering as you watched the smile spread across his lips. He was clearly proud of himself for trying, knowing more than you did about pregnancy had its perks. He felt like he could finally take care of you, like you had for him all these months.

“Thank you”

“S’ok” he shrugged as he looked at you “how’s doll been?”

“Good” you smiled softly walking back towards the sofa with gator following behind you, you placed the bottle of vitamins down on the table. “Took her to the park after school”

“Yeah?” He grinned at you “bet she loved tha, did Tara come?”

Your chest tightened as you looked at him, your eyes moving back to the vitamins on the table.

“No, we still haven’t.. made up” you half smiled still not looking at him. “Just us two” lie, lie, lie.

“Ya need ta be careful by ya self pretty girl, bad people out n bout”

Things still felt a little awkward with Gator, back together but things still felt.. off. Like neither of you wanted to make the first move to touch each other, scared one of you would pull away.

“Missed ya” gators hand rested against your stomach softly “ya ate today?”

“Not yet” you shrugged.

“It’s 11pm mama” gator sighed “cmere” he draped one arm over the back of the sofa giving you space to sit next to him.

You shuffled into the gap, his arm moving to wrap around you now. Big hand placed against your stomach, like that was its new place.

“Ya know, ya gotta try”

“I am, I’m sorry” you sighed as you turned your face to look up at him, his eyes meeting yours instantly and that’s where they stayed. No words, no movement just a quiet moment, like you both understood what this was but didn’t at the same time.

“Don’t be sorry” gator whispered, letting his nose drag across yours slowly “nothin ta be sorry bout”

You let your eyes flicker shut, the feeling of his skin against yours erasing every worry consuming you.

“I can’t wait y’know?” His voice was soft, soothing almost as his eyes settled against his hand resting on your stomach “ta jus be a family, we need some happy mama”

“We do” you smiled up at him softly, resting your hand on top of gators “I’m glad it’s with you”

“Who else would it be?” Gator teased making you laugh, his chest filling with butterflies just like it always did when you laughed “nah, I get it. Meant to be pretty girl”

“Do you love me?” You whispered letting your lips brush against his softly, a quiet hitched breath falling from him.

“More than anythin” he whispered back, his own lips bumping against yours as he spoke. “Always have”

You pressed your lips against his softly, hesitantly but he returned the kiss. You got onto your knees on the sofa so you were facing him fully, his hand resting at the back of your neck as he pulled you back towards his lips. You can taste the sweet taste of his vape on his breath as you kiss him, parting your lips to let him inside. Tongues brushing against each other softly as he groaned into your mouth, gators other hand slowly moving up your thigh before softly squeezing your ass as you bit down on his bottom lip.

“So perfect, mama” he whispered as he pulled you onto his lap “my pretty girl” his lips moving down to your neck, placing wet open mouthed kisses trailing down to your collar bone. “Missed this so much” his tone was soft, everything about tonight seemed soft.

A different side of gator that you wasn’t used to, but you liked it.

“Me too” you whispered back as you rolled your hips against his lap, feeling his hard cock against you. Your eyes flickering shut at the feeling you craved so much, gators hands found the bottom of the oversized shirt you were wearing pulling it over your head leaving you completely bare ontop of him.

Gators eyes darkened as his eyes worked their way down your body before looking back up to you, head dipping slightly to kiss across your chest. One hand resting against your breast as his mouth kissed its way down to the other, sealing his warm lips around your nipple as you moan softly. Your back arching as he sucked at it softly, warm tongue swirling across it.

“Gator..”

Your phone was buzzing away on the table in front of you, gator pulled away from you looking at it. His stomach turning, your phone never rang. You’d said you still hadn’t made amends with Tara so who was it?

“Wanna get that?”

“No, no” it was probably just Tara trying to make peace, she could wait. You pull gators face back towards your chest.

“Fuckin love these” he pulls away from your nipple to switch over to the other one “they’re gonna get so big all full mama” he groaned against your chest at the thought.

Your phone buzzed again, not stopping this time. Gator sighed as he pulled away again, eyes looking up at you.

“Sounds important”

“It’s not” you smile before leaning back into him, lips pressed to his as you moved his hands to your hips. “This is” you whisper against his lips.

Gator smiles before moving back in kissing your lips as his big hands move up your back, sending a shiver through your body.

Buzzing, again.

Gator exhales against your mouth, shaking his head as he looks up at you.

“Jus check it, then turn it off” he sighed “want all ya attention tonight pretty”

you climbed off sending him a flirty smirk, grabbing your phone off the table. Stomach turning as you looked down at it.

UNKNOWN: are you with him?

UNKNOWN: bet you’re thinking of me

UNKNOWN: did you like it when I touched you today?

UNKNOWN: I can touch other places tomorrow baby, touching myself thinking about it.

UNKNOWN: missed call

UNKNOWN: stop playing hard to get

UNKNOWN: missed call

Your hands start to shake as you held onto the phone, quickly turning it off placing it back down onto the table.

“Who was it?” Gator asked as he started stripping out of his clothes, a feeling of shame washing over you as you looked at him.

You wanted to tell him, you really did but everything was back on track. This would for sure throw it back off again, it wasn’t worth it. You could sort this.

“Tara” you smiled softly before walking back over to him.

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[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part twenty

Gator finds comfort in Dollie & takes miss on a date in an attempt to stop her pushing him away.

Not much going on in this one, re building relationships ready for a more chaotic one next x

“Mama, is star okay?” Dollie looked up at you from her seat at the table, big eyes twinkling.

“She’s fine baby, I took real good care of her while you were gone” you kissed the top of her head.

“I didn’t like being gone mama, I was scared” you sighed as you looked at her, she really had been through so much for such a little girl. “The police kept coming, daddy was sad”

“That does sound scary” you crouched down infront of her resting your hands ontop of hers “but you were such a brave girl” you smiled softly at her.

“Ya were the bravest girl ever” gator cut in, crouching down next to you. Resting his hand over yours and Dollie’s “yer home now baby, never leavin again”

“Do you promise daddy?” Gators stomach turned as he looked into her eyes, he’d really fucked up between the both of you.

“Promise” he squeezed your hands before standing up “speakin bout star..”

“YES!” Dollie squealed as she jumped up, hang grabbing onto gators quickly “come on daddy!” She pulled at his arm to pull him away from the table.

“Can ya see if Tara can have her later? Maybe..”

You looked at him, confused. He never let anyone watch her, never let her out of his sight unless it was you.

“Wanna take ya out, s’bout time”

~

“Are you sad daddy?”

Gator looked at Dollie, her little hand holding onto stars brush as she took her time grooming her. Chest tightening, she’s the only one to ask since getting back.

“A little” gator exhaled before smiling at her “everyone gets sad, Dollie girl”

“I was sad when I missed mama” Dollie pouted “and star”

Gators stomach turned, he couldn’t cope with the fact he’d destroyed everything. Pulling everything apart when it was all going so perfect, no one understood why he did it no matter how much he explained.

He was worried no one ever would understand, but he knew he’d fucked everything up. Not just for you, for Dollie too.

Memories flooding his mind of how brave she was, never once getting angry when he pulled her away from her life, cutting her off from you.

Her sad face everytime he told her she couldn’t call, couldn’t come back home yet.

“I know baby, M’sorry” he ran his hand over Dollie’s head making her smile. “Daddy made a bad choice”

He didn’t, he’d do it all again if it meant keeping her safe forever.

“Why are you sad daddy?”

“Ya know when ya smacked that kid at school and it was a bad choice?”

Dollie nodded as she looked at him before looking down at the floor like she was waiting to be punished for it.

“How did ya feel after?”

“Naughty and sad” Dollie whispered.

Gator let out a breathy laugh as he looked at her.

“Yer not naught baby, but that’s how I feel. I made a bad choice”

“And now you feel naughty and sad?” Dollie gasped as she looked at him, eyes wide like the thought of her daddy feeling this way hurt her.

“Sure do, baby” gator sighed as he sat down on the floor next to where she was standing.

Dollie placed the brush down on the floor before walking over towards him, arms wrapping around his neck.

“You’re not naughty daddy” she placed a kiss to his cheek as he pulled her against him, arms wrapped around her tightly “love you daddy”

Gators breath caught in his throat, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him. Turns out the only one willing to hear him out right now was his six year old daughter.

“Love ya, Dollie dot”

“Why don’t you tell mama you’re sad? Mama helps me when I’m sad”

Gator let out a breathy laugh as he squeezes her gently.

“Cause daddy made mama feel sad too with his bad choices”

Dollie pulled away to look up at him, gator could see the conflicted look on her face.

“Shall I show you how mama makes me feel better and then you can do it to her?”

“Go fer it”

Dollie reaches both her hands out towards his stomach smirk on her face as she digs her fingers into his ribs tickling the skin through his shirt.

“Stop” gator laughs as he holds onto her hands, Dollie’s hands fighting against his to continue.

“See?” Dollie grinned as she looked at him “all better, mama knows how to make everything better”

“She does” gator sighs as he pulls Dollie back against him.

~

“Did ya sort things with Tara?”

You nod as you wipe down the counter, still not ready to talk to him, finding it hard to even look at him.

“Can ya be ready fer six?”

You look up at the clock on the wall, 5pm already. You wanted to ask him where he was taking you, did you need to dress up? Of course you didn’t. It was gator, he’s probably taking you to the diner five minutes down the road.

You felt guilty for even thinking that way, it shouldn’t matter where he was taking you. This was new, he was trying.

“Okay”

Gator nodded at you before walking away, taking Dollie up to her room to pack a bag.

You walk into your room pulling out different items of clothing, nothing looked right. Nothing felt right.

The whole situation felt wrong, days ago you were being beat by a man you didn’t know in this house. Now you were being taken on a date?

You try to push the thoughts to the back of your mind, nausea washing over you once again.

The hangover from last night hitting you like a truck, hopefully there was alcohol wherever you were going tonight to drown it out.

You settled on a sun dress, not too casual, not too dressy.

You spent the next ten minutes building concealer against the bruise on your neck until it was completely hidden before moving onto the one under your eye.

You looked just like you when you were finished, looking just like you did before everything went wrong.

The old you, the one that didn’t carry anything heavy. The you that was happy all of the time, carefree.

You smiled at your reflection before pulling your hair up into a messy bun, leaving a few strands loose at the front of your face.

“Mama… wow” Dollie giggles as you walk out of the room towards her.

“Oh thank you” you blush as you look at her, you hadn’t felt beautiful in a long time. “You ready to go see baby Tommy?”

“Yes!” Dollie held onto your hand as you walked down the stairs with her. “Wait my bag!”

“Got it” gator laughed as he walked into the room, stopping in front of you as he looked at you “wow”

You half smile before turning away to walk down the stairs towards the knocking door.

“Hey” you smile as Tara’s eyes fall down your full body before coming back up. You laugh as she throws her arms around you pulling you into her.

“Damn, hold me back before I go at you again” she whispers into your ear making you blush.

“hi gator” she smiles as she lets go of you.

“Thanks fer havin her” he walked towards you both, arm snaking around your waist before you step away rolling your eyes at Tara as she smirked.

“No problem, she basically a baby sitter” Tara teased as she looked at him.

“come on doll, Tommys waiting for you!”

“Where is he?” Dollie looked confused as she looked up at Tara.

“Waiting at home with his daddy” she held onto Dollie’s hand using her spare arm to pull you back into a hug.

“Make him beg for it” she whispered before kissing your cheek, moving towards gator pulling him into a hug “get your shit together” she whispered into his ear before pulling away from him holding his eye contact. You watched as gators jaw tensed but he nodded.

“Have fun guys” she smiled before letting Dollie’s hand go so she could say her goodbyes.

You placed a kiss to the top of her head and gator did the same, smiling as she left.

You close the door softly before turning back towards gator, his eyes making there way down your body this time.

“Ya look..I don’t have the words” he stepped closer to you “let me touch you” his voice was low, like the words were hard to push out. “Please.. it’s hard not to”

You watch as he steps closer again, hands moving towards you before he stops himself. Having to physically hold himself back from touching you, half lided eyes as he looked at you.

“Jus wanna feel ya” he sighed, body pressed against yours “not even.. like tha.. just wanna feel yer skin” you stepped back creating some space between you both “I love ya, pretty”

“We have to go”

You turned away from him leaving him stood in the house as you made your way to the car, skin burning as you remembered the last time you were at this stupid car door.

Hands shaking as you open the door to climb inside, heart racing.

The drive was mostly silent, gator tried to make small talk with you but you drowned the sound of his voice out with the radio.

The drive took longer than you expected, you weren’t in a town you recognised anymore when gator parked the car.

“Thought we could get away, somewhere fresh” he shrugged as he looked at you noticing the confusion on your face “wanna start again”

“For the third time?” You scoff as you get out of the car, he’d brought you to a bar. It was a fancy one but the way you were both feeling mixed with alcohol? Disaster.

“I’m tryin, pretty”

“Try harder” you pushed through the doors of the bar, it was beautiful, modern nothing like the ones where you lived.

Gator walked in behind you, guiding you towards the chairs. You sit down staring at him, waiting to hear the reason he’d bought you here. It couldn’t just be because he wanted to, how long you’d lived together and he’d never taken you out once.

“Wanna get to know ya, properly”

You looked at him, maybe he was trying. No, this was gator.

“What do you want to know?”

“I dunno” he laughed “what ya wanna tell me?”

“My dream was always to be a teacher, the best teacher. One kids loved and got excited to go to school to see. Making there days better, giving them my all” you exhaled “I wanted to meet the perfect man, one that loved everything about me. I wanted to get married, just a small private wedding.” You rest your head against your hand holding gators eye contact “I wanted two children, a boy and a girl”

“Ya still can, all of it” You shake your head as you look at him, eyes moving down to the table now. “Ya can have whatever ya want”

Gators heart ached, he could give you all of that if you’d let him.

“What was your dreams?”

“To survive” he scoffed as he looked at you “keep my baby safe, anythin else was a.. bonus” he shrugged looking away. “I’ll get us some drinks”

You pulled out your phone to check on Dollie while he was gone.

You: she okay?

TARA: she’s fine, playing with Tommy of course. How’s it going?

You: awkward.

TARA: men.

Gator placed your drink down in front of you, you slide your phone back into your bag.

“Is that him?” Gator gestures down towards your bag noticing you putting the phone away.

You shake your head as you look at him, you’d need to tell him that there was no man at some point. That you’d stupidly agreed to let your best friend do it to make him jealous.

“Tara”

“Doll okay?”

“Fine”

Gator nods as he looks at you.

“Tell me how ya know her”

You sigh as you look at him, he smiled softly at you before bringing the beer up to his lips.

“We went to school together, always been best friends. She knows everything about me, I know everything about her” you laugh “literally everything”

Gators heart flutters at the sound of your laugh, a genuine one for once.

“So ya filled her in on me?”

“Of course. Good, bad, ugly” you smirk.

Gator runs his hand over his face as he groans.

‘S’lot of that, bet she hates me”

“I told her the good too” you sigh looking down at your drink.

“Bet that didn’t take long”

“It was the quickest part” you laugh.

“Yer so pretty when ya laugh” you take a sip of your drink, the alcohol leaves a bad reminder in your mouth of last night.

“Make me laugh more then”

“I’m fuckin tryin” gator laughed as he looked at you, making you smile. “I wanna give ya everythin ya said ya wanted y’know?”

“Do you think you can?”

Gator looked at you, he had no doubt he could. Fuck he’d get you your old job back by tomorrow if that’s what you wanted him to do.

“I know I can, if ya’d let me”

You didn’t doubt him, not really.

You finish your drink pushing your glass towards him, silently letting him know you wanted another.

Gator raised his eyebrows as he looked at you.

“Gonna say please?”

“No”

Gator smirked at you before making his way back towards the bar, returning with three drinks for you this time.

Good boy.

“You trying to get me tipsy so you can have your way with me Tillman?” You scoff as you bring one of the drinks up to your lips.

“Nah” he laughs “don’t want none of tha”

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face.

“Oh please” you laugh.

“I mean I do.. but I jus wanna hear you say it again”

Your brows furrow as you look at him.

“Say what?”

“That ya love me” You sigh as you look at him, knocking back the rest of your drink before starting on the next one. “Did ya mean it? Or was ya tryin to stop me leavin?”

“Does it matter?”

“Matters ta me” gator let his finger drag down yours as you hold onto the glass “S’lonely when no one loves ya”

You bring your glass up to your mouth as you look at him, maybe when the anger leaves your body you’d be able to tell him how you felt. You just hoped one day it would leave.

“We should go”

“I ain’t finished yet”

“I don’t want to hear it”

Gator smirks as he holds his half empty glass up towards you.

“Ya ain’t gonna, jus wanna finish this”

You roll your eyes at him, leaning back in your chair as you watch him. Painfully slowly drinking his beer, like he’s trying to drag it out.

“I wanna get married too” he puts the glass down on the table “I mean wouldn’t be much of a weddin, got no one to fuckin invite” he laughs, looking a lot lighter.

“I’d come”

“I’d fuckin hope so” he laughed “hope yer the one standin in front of me”

Gator looks at you, the blank expression on your face going straight to his heart.

“Would ya want that?” He asks softly.

“What I want, is you to stop asking me things”

“Jus wanna know how ya feel”

“How about, show me how you feel about me and I’ll show you how I feel about you?” you push up from the table, unsteady on your feet.

“Careful”

You sit back down in your seat accepting defeat, way too tipsy to storm off from him.

You couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, you wanted to break the walls down around him. You wanted to know everything, all of the scary things that keep those walls up firmly in place.

“What was it like.. with doll when you first had her?” You asked softly.

“Fucking hard” gator let out a breathy laugh “did it all on my own”

“All of it?”

Gator nods as he grins at you. Your heart melts a little.

“Every little thing, every night feed, every change, bath”

“Was it hard?”

“Yeah” gator rubs his hand across his face as he sighs “but someone had ta do it”

You half smile at him from across the table.

“I’d do it all again though, best thing ta ever happen”

“Who named her?”

“Me”

You smile, such a sweet girly name for a hard man to have chosen.

“Why Dollie?”

“Dunno, remember looking down at how tiny she was and thinking she looked like a doll, was probably sleep deprived”

“It suits her”

Gator smiles at you, you return it briefly before looking down at the drink in your hand.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm”

“Help me up”

“Oh I can touch ya now?” He laughs as he looks at you, you smile back at him as he gets up walking over to you. The smell of his aftershave not helping with how sick you currently feel. “Come on, Lightweight” he loops his arm round your waist lifting you up as you loop your arm around his neck.

“You safe to drive?”

“Course” gator scoffed as he kicks the door open so you can both pass through.

“You’re not gonna try to kill me? Again?” you laugh as he tutts at you.

~

“What times doll comin home?” Gator asks as he drops down onto the sofa, arm flung the back of it.

“Tara said she can stay over”

Gator sighs as he looks at you, never in six years has he not put her to bed. Never not had to read a bedtime story.

Maybe the change would be good for him, the last six years being in dad mode had changed him. Maybe he needed to relax a little, just be Gator.

“That’s okay?” You ask noticing the way he’d tensed up since you told him.

“Yeah..jus never been without her”

You sit down on the sofa next to him, eyes settling over his sad expression.

“You can tuck me in if it helps” you tease making him laugh.

“Y’know I love ya” gators hand rests against your cheek softly as he looks into your eyes “don’t ya”

“Your love bombing me” you smirk.

“Bein honest” he scoffs “ain’t gettin me nowhere though”

“Where do you want it to get you? Back in my pants?”

“Just back would be a start” he sighs.

“I’m gonna go to bed” you say as you stretch your arms above your head, exhaustion washing over you “thanks for tonight, was nice to get to know you”

Gator looked at you, you were right. All this time sharing the same house and neither of you had opened up to each other.

Things still hidden deeply that you don’t know about each other.

There was still so much he wanted to ask you, wanted to know about you but he’d wait.

“Let me walk ya home” he teased as he scooped you up out of your seat, big arms wrapped around you as he walked you up to your room.

Dropping you gently onto your bed, chest tightening as you looked up at him.

“Goodnight, gator”

“Night, pretty” gator leans down placing a single kiss to your cheek before turning and leaving.

Sorry guys I had to proof read this one while my three year old talked my ears off, so apologies if there is still mistakes x

Tags: @louisbelongstome28 @sainzzbrina @midnightmartini @simsimstay2017 @imdjoverit @xceafh @kristywidget97 @keerygirlie98 @storietilman

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@gxorgxa0000 @crescentwillow @foreverdjofan

[djopuppy]

you were never mine

coming soon: series masterlist

pairing: “king” steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: go through an all consuming situationship between you & “king” steve harrington. you’ve always had a crush on steve, and finally get a piece of him, but steve wont commit to you. his pride and ego as “king steve” will always matter most to him.

c/w: porn with a plot 18+, possessiveness, king steve persona, jealousy, insecurity, dom!steve, shy!reader, dirty talk, degradation, miscommunication, toxic relationship, angst and fluff, arguing, manipulation, steve wont commit.

౨⋆ৎ inspired by august by taylor swift ౨⋆ৎ

prologue - one of the girls

chapter one - in case you’d call

chapter two - twisted in bedsheets

chapter three - beneath the sun

chapter four - so much for summer love

chapter five - i remember thinking i had you

chapter six - for the hope of it all

a/n: i am soo excited about this! ive gotten a few requests for a part two of my fic “one of the girls” and decided to make it into a series! ill be updating it here as i go, you’ll be able to find this post on my masterlist. if you’d like to be tagged as i post, comment here! you can expect the first chapter within the next two weeks. thank you sm <3

[djopuppy]

first chapter will be up by the end of this week!!!!! so sorry for the delay, been incredibly busy, but so excited to share with everyone <3

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part eighteen

Filler chapter guys to pull everything together, I couldn’t pull Roy in & then just ignore it. So this part just fills in the gaps and sets the tone going forward so I won’t be offended if you don’t read or don’t find it great. Also, it’s quite long& this is the toned down version. Love u X

Violence, mention of blood, bad language, Gator really does leave, poor miss.

“Gator?” If you thought you felt sick then, it was nothing compared to what you felt right now.

“M’sorry”

You looked behind him, Dollie fast asleep in the back of the car as the tears started to fall down your cheeks.

Gator watched as you tried to piece together in your mind what the fuck was going on.

“Why? Why are you leaving?”

“Don’t matter”

“Of course it matters! Fuck, it matters” you angrily wipe the tears away from your eyes “why are you taking her?”

“Gotta keep her safe” gator exhales as he looks at you, the anger building in your body.

“Safe from what? What about me? I thought we were a family!”

Gator shakes his head as he looks at you, you scoff as you step back.

“Can I say bye to her?”

Gator nods, stepping to the side so you can pass him.

Your legs feel heavy as you walk towards the car, breath caught in your throat as you see her through the window.

Oh god what had you done to deserve this, you felt numb but also felt everything at the same time.

You fumble with the handle to open it, nothing feels like it’s working anymore.

Or maybe your body was just trying to slow you down, slow them down.

This can’t be real, can’t be happening.

“Oh Dollie girl” you whisper as the tears fall down your cheeks, you wrap the blanket around her gently. Getting one last look at the little girl you loved, not knowing if you’d ever see her again. “I love you” you placed a kiss to the top of her head careful not to wake her before closing the door again carefully.

“Why are you doing this?” You cry as you turn towards gator, heart breaking as everything you love is ripped away from you.

“Jus trust me”

“Trust you?” You push into his chest “you said you loved me! You let me love your daughter!”

“Our daughter” that cut like a knife.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, our daughter? Then why was he taking her away from you. Why were you being left here alone? What was he running from?

“You can’t do this!” sobs falling freely from you as you look at his blank expression “please don’t take her…gator please” your hand rests against his cheek softly as your eyes plead with him.

Gator didn’t answer, he turned walking towards his car door trying his best to block out the sounds of your sobs.

He wanted to take you, god he didn’t want to break the family up but he was scared you’d slip up. He couldn’t risk that, couldn’t risk anything going wrong. He needed to protect Dollie.

“Please, don’t go” you grabbed at gators arm using all of your strength, trying to pull him away from the door.

Gator pulled his arm away, pulling open the car door as he climbed inside.

“No, no, no” you held onto the car door “please we can talk this through, whatever it is I can fix it I promise”

“I’ve gotta go”

You lean into the seat where he’s sitting hands on his face to make him look at you.

“Please don’t go, I love you” you sob “both of you”

Nothing.

You look behind Dollie, her eyes wild as she looked at you. You’d clearly woke her up, guilt flooded you as you looked back at her.

“Mama?”

Your stomach turned, you pulled away from gator to walk towards her door.

“Baby, it’s oka…”

Gators car door slammed making you jump as you reached Dollie’s, locking the doors before he started the engine.

~

Six weeks.

Six weeks since they’d left, the worst part of it all being that they’d left for what?

Nothing had happened at the house, no one visited, no more cards, no sign of gators dad.

You couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything.

You waited, hoped they’d come home. That it was all some sick joke.

Gators phone was disconnected, you’d tried it every day since he’d left in hopes just once he’d pick up.

Let you know Dollie was okay, she was safe.

What you’d do to hear that little voice one last time.

You kept everything going at the house, you changed the beds twice a week still so they’d be fresh if they ever came home, you washed the clothes that were already fresh so they still smelt clean.

You packed Dollie a lunchbox every week day on the off chance she came home, so she was ready for school the next morning.

You cleaned star out, brushed her, fed her, kept her topped up with treats just like Dollie did.

You did everything, just like you always did but the house stayed silent and you stayed sick.

It never got better, the sickness was clearly caused by stress. Of course it was, that’s all you’d known since meeting gator.

But god you’d do it all again to have him back.

Even putting your shoes on hurt your body at this point, too sad to eat and too sick to keep it down when you did.

You’d never known heartbreak like it.

~

“Can we go home yet daddy?” Dollie asked as her big eyes looked up at him.

“Soon Dollie girl” he kissed the top of her head gently “promise”

“Will mama be at home?”

Gator exhaled as he looked away from her, the shitty hotel they were in was driving her crazy. Only so many times she could play with the same four horse figures.

“Daddy can we call mama?” Dollie started jumping on the spot infront of gator “pleasepleaseplease”

“Doll!” Gator snapped, stress of the whole situation being too much for him “shit, fuck, M’sorry baby” he pulled her into his chest wrapping his arms around her tightly “jus give daddy a bit more time, m’fixin it”

He was trying but truthfully gator didn’t know how it would end. He couldn’t tell Dollie they’d be home soon because honestly he didn’t know they would.

He just hoped you were okay, that his dad hadn’t gotten to you before the police got to him.

Thoughts raced through his mind constantly, were you safe? He should have never left you. He promised you’d be safe.

What if the police didn’t take him seriously? What if they weren’t going to do anything about it?

Roy had everyone wrapped around his fingers, maybe they’d tell him where him and Dollie were and he’d come and get them.

But he had to try, for Dollie.

He just hoped you’d forgive him.

~

You walked out of the store, bags full of things you’d leave to sit in the fridge to rot.

But seeing Dollie’s favourite snacks and gators beers in the fridge brought some sort of comfort to you.

“Hey, you”

Your heart stopped, you’d had no contact with anyone for weeks now. But you knew it wasn’t him.

“Blake, hey” you smiled softly, skin crawling under his gaze.

“Let me help you” Blake grabbed the bags from your hands, you smiled as you continued to walk.

“Thank you”

You didn’t want the help, you wanted to be left alone.

“No problem! So how’s the kid? What was her name again? Dotty?”

Your breath caught in your throat, chill running through you.

“Dollie..”

“Dollie! That’s it! How’s she doing?”

“No idea” you scoff as you look down at the floor, getting closer to the house. You can escape.

“Damn, messy break up?”

“Something like that” you exhale as you stand still looking at him. He was attractive, you were single and wanted to feel something, anything “wanna come inside?”

Blake smiles as he looks at you.

“Thought you’d never ask”

You walk into the house, Blake grinning as he follows behind you.

“Nice place”

“Ain’t mine.. it’s”

“Oh that dick from the cafe with the strange ass name” Blake scoffs behind you as you start emptying the bags into the fridge “what is it with that family and weird ass names”

You turn towards him, eyes wild.

“Ya still hung up on him or something?”

“No” lie, biggest fucking lie ever told “I’m fine”

“Good” Blake steps towards you, hand grazing your cheek.

You want to pull away, tell him he repulsed you. But everyone who wasn’t gator did.

But you needed to feel something, to know you weren’t truly broken. So you let his hand linger on your face for a moment.

“You’re so beautiful, you know” he spoke softly, hand moving lower on your face until his fingers brushed against your lips.

You closed your eyes, oh god this felt so wrong.

His fingers moved from your lip, down your jaw to your neck.

Your body shuddered under his touch, repulsed completely.

“Oh you like that”

Stupid, stupid man.

“I don’t..”

“W-what?” Blake looked genuinely shocked, he really thought you liked having his finger pressed into your skin.

“I’m sorry, you need to leave” the lump appears in your throat again as guilt washes over you. Was this cheating? Were you cheating on him?

Were you still together? Was you even together to begin with?

You walked towards the door swinging it open, watching as Blake walked through it.

He turned towards you once outside, smile on his face.

“Call me when you’re over him”

You slam the door in his face.

Still broken.

~

“And that’s how mama became your..mama” gator furrowed his brows at his own words, it was hard to explain what a step mama was to a six year old but he was trying his best.

“Can we call her yet daddy?”

“No, baby”

Dollie’s bottom lip started to tremble as he looked at her, fuck he wanted to call you too. He hated himself for how he left things, leaving you like a bag of rubbish on his driveway.

He didn’t even tell you he loved you back, the first time you’d ever said it to him was when he was leaving you.

He still heard your sobs when he tried to sleep at night, the way you held onto him and begged him not to go. Fuck, what if you never forgave him? He wouldn’t blame you.

“I miss star, daddy”

Gators head was buzzing, he knew it wasn’t her fault but all he’d heard for the last six weeks was everything she missed. She’d understand one day that he did it for her, but right now she just had to trust he was going the right thing.

Gators burner phone started to ring, making him jump off the bed knocking Dollie’s horses off onto the floor.

“Silly daddy” she sighed as she picked them back up, gator grabbed the phone quickly answering.

Gator listened as they reeled off information, trying his best to take it all in.

“We will be making contact tonight, we’ll update you when we know the next steps. Stay where you are and don’t make contact with anyone”

Gator sighed as he hung up the phone, he wanted to be happy. Tell Dollie the nightmare was almost over, but he knew he couldn’t. Not yet.

~

You raced to the door heart hammering in your chest as it knocked for a second time.

No one had been to the house since they’d left, it had to be them.

You swung the door open, fear setting in your chest instead.

The sheriff stood in front of you, hands on his hips.

“A-are they okay? Is this about Gator? Dollie?” Thoughts raced through your mind. Were they dead? Had the police just found them?

You stared at him, waiting for an answer as your hands start to shake.

“Can I come in?”

You quickly open the door wider, stepping aside as he walked into the house. You’d thought you’d ran out of tears but here they were once again running down your cheeks, your body riddled with fear as you followed him towards the sofa waiting for the explanation.

“Nice house little lady”

“A-are they dead?”

“Was hopin ya could help me with that, where are they?” You stared at him, confusion washing over your features “where’s my son?”

Your stomach turned as you looked at him, nothing like gator. No big dark eyes, no soft features, no warm smile.

Just a cold man sitting in front of you.

“I- I don’t..”

“Don’t wanna have to hurt ya” he laughed, startling you a little “but I need to know where they are”

You couldn’t find the words, no matter how much you searched for them you just couldn’t find them.

You pushed the palms of your hand into the sofa to stand up, eyes moving around the room for something you could grab to protect yourself if you needed to.

All you knew about him was rumours that had spread around town, never anything good.

God you wished gator had gave you a heads up on what you could be dealing with.

“Sit” his voice was cold as he walked towards you, big hand gripping your chin so you looked up at him “that son of mine” he tutted “ran away with my money, I gave him time to come back and make it right but he chose this way instead”

Roy’s grip tightened on your face as you sobbed.

“I’m just the nanny” you whispered through sobs.

Roy laughed as he looked down at you.

“You hold some value then”

Oh god, you were about to die.

Here, alone and no one would know about it.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t..”

Slap.

Your face turned to the side with the impact, your mind buzzed with thoughts about Dollie, about Gator, how you’d rather it was you in this situation than either of them.

Roy’s hand settled in your hair at the back of your head, holding you in place tightly.

“Didn’t enjoy that little lady” he smirked down at you “so I’ll ask you again, where’s gator?”

You tried to shake your head but his grip was too firm, you closed your eyes waiting for the next one to land.

And it did.

It felt harder this time, maybe it was because he held you in place or maybe it was because it wasn’t a slap this time.

You felt the warmth trickling down your face, blood. Your body tensed up as you opened your eyes to look at him.

“Yer a tough lil thing” Roy scoffed “spose ya have to be to be with a Tillman”

Fuck, right now you hated that name. Your life was so easy before you let him into your life, but why did you still want him to come home?

Why was your heart hoping he’d come through the door right now and fix this? He’d never fixed anything.

It was always you doing the fixing, trying to keep everyone happy and healthy.

“He’s been keepin ya in line, ya don’t even bite back”

Oh if only he knew the real gator, the soft gator that you knew.

The gator that would never dream of laying a finger on you, but somehow leaving you in this situation felt worse than if he would have hit you.

Roy held onto your hair as he dragged you towards the front door, you tried your best to grab onto anything you could as you passed it.

But it was no use, your vision was slowly going in and out of focus. Probably from all over the hits you’d taken, hits you’d taken for Gator.

You didn’t even fight him as he bundled you into the back of his truck, just laying back closing your eyes accepting everything that was coming your way.

You weren’t making it out of this, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to anymore.

Your eyes flicked open at the sound of the door shutting behind you, you watched as he walked around to the drivers side.

Please gator, there’s still time.

You watched as he climbed into the seat, head turning back towards you to make sure you were still there.

“Good girl” he smirked.

~

Gator paced around the hotel room, Dollie played with her horses once again.

A routine they’d quickly fell into.

How would he ever make this right with you? Was it easier to just cut you off completely when he got back?

You’d have even more questions now, you’d never trust him.

Gator felt sick as everything filled his mind all at once, the thought of you alone.

What if you weren’t alone? You could have moved on by now.

You could have forgotten about him and Dollie.

The thought made his skin crawl, he rubbed his hand over his face trying to shake the uneasy feeling.

“Daddy?” Gator looked down at Dollie, knowing exactly what she was about to ask.

“Not now doll”

Dollie nodded as she turned back towards the horses on the floor, gators heart breaking a little at the sight.

Why did he run? He could have just stayed and protected the both of you.

~

You lay back against the seats, falling in and out of consciousness as Roy talked on the phone. You still hadn’t left yet, from what you could see from the window you were still in the exact same place.

You didn’t feel scared anymore, it was almost peaceful as you lay down. The light of the sun that was so rare this time of year warming your skin as it peeked through the window.

Maybe you felt peaceful because it couldn’t get any worse than it already was, you knew what your outcome was.

Roy’s hands slapped down against the wheel making you jump, fear back in your chest as you look in his direction.

Your heart started to race in your chest as you watched him climb out of the car, eyes following him as he approached your door.

“Roll over” he spoke with urgency this time, you shook your head as he looked at you.

“Roll onto your front now! Hands behind your back!” He shouted as you started to sob again, your body ached as you rolled onto your front.

Fear washing over you as you waited for him to do whatever he had planned for you.

You felt the rope tightening against the skin of your wrists, painful but better than what you were expecting him to do.

“I gotta sort somethin at the ranch” he spoke quietly as he pulled you out of the car by your feet, letting you drop onto the cold ground “yer gonna wait where I leave ya an I’ll be back”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face in your daze, these Tillman men and running away.

You look down as Roy starts tying rope around your ankles, you consider kicking him.

What’s the point? It would only end in another beating you wouldn’t be able to take.

Roy dragged you by the rope around your feet across the floor before kicking open the door to stars stable, pulling you inside before closing the door.

“Yer gonna stay here” Roy grabbed at your face as his eyes burned into your skin “few hours, I’ll be back. Don’t try anythin stupid”

You watch as he leaves before turning your head towards star who was looking down at you, waiting for her feed.

“I’m sorry, girl” you whispered before closing your eyes.

~

Hours had passed and gator was growing impatient, almost seven weeks the whole process had taken.

Endless interviews, confessions he never thought he’d make, trying to remember where evidence was hidden at the ranch to point them in the right direction.

Knowing that after all of this he could also end up in prison right with his dad, but it was a risk he was willing to take to keep Dollie safe from this man.

But if everything was pulled off correctly and they got what they wanted he’d be free of his dad forever, Dollie would always be safe.

He’d get to come back home, back to you.

His phone was already in his hands when it started to ring, where it spent most of its time as he waited to know his outcome.

Gator pressed the phone to his ear, listening to all of the information they were spilling at him. Taking in the bits that mattered once again.

“Daddy? Can we..”

Gator scooped Dollie up in his arms, pressing kisses all across her face “we can call mama”

~

The cold air coming through the gaps in the wood made your body tense up, you’d been lay in the same spot for hours now.

Awaiting Roy’s arrival to finish the job off he started, but it didn’t seem to be coming.

You wriggled yourself across the floor towards the wall where the hook that held the dustpan was, no one was coming to save you. So you had to save yourself.

You gasped as you pulled your legs into the air, stomach muscles feeling extra tender as you lifted them towards the hook.

You looped the rope around your ankles onto the hook as you start moving your legs to try and free them, the friction of the rope burning at your skin.

“Fuck, cmon” you cried as you bent your knees to add pressure to the rope, tears running down your cheeks as you watch the rope start to fray.

Cheap ass rope, of course.

The rope snapped, your legs landing on the floor with a crash.

“Yes” you whisper moving into a sitting up position before moving onto your knees, you look up above you at star who was still patiently waiting. “We’ve got this girl” you smile up at her as you try to stand on your wobbly legs.

Once on your legs you turn your back to the wall, hooking the rope on your wrists to the hook before starting the whole process again.

You looked down at your now free wrists, the rope burn covering them only made you feel angry that you’d sat back and let this happen to you.

“Fuck these men” you say with a breathy laugh as you reach your hand out to star scratching just above her nose “don’t ever get a boyfriend, girl” you sigh as you walk over to her bag of feed.

You feed star before walking out of the stables, locking the door behind you.

No cars in the drive, no cars anywhere near that you can hear.

Silence, just the moonlight shining down on you as you make your way back towards the house.

Perfectly clean as you left it, like nothing had ever happened.

Like the horrors of today didn’t exist. Just how you liked it.

You walked up the stairs stopping in the mirror at the top to take in your reflection, something you hadn’t done in a long time.

You look at the rope burns on your skin, the bruise under your eye, the dry blood around your mouth,nose and chin. The way your bones show more than they used to, the dark purple bags that were now only visable under one eye thanks to your new bruise.

He’d ruined you, loving Gator had completely stripped you of yourself.

But you still ached for him.

You crouched down in front of the toilet ready to start what had become a regular routine for you now, throwing up everything you’d ate throughout the day before your body finally let you rest.

You didn’t make your way to his bed tonight, you walked to your room. Climbing into the single bed before closing your eyes ready to let go of today.

Im sorry guys, I know this was probably boring & not fun to read but I couldn’t just skip over this part once introducing it. I hope you understand & hope you’ll continue to read. (Gator & Dollie are coming home)

Love Chelsea 🤍

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@gxorgxa0000 @crescentwillow @foreverdjofan

[deeplightblue]

One of the best fics I’ve ever read 🤤🤤

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie,

Gator Tillman has always fucked up everything in his life until he had his daughter, Dollie.

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Part six

Part seven

Part eight

Part nine

Part ten

Part eleven

Family (Mama & Gators back story)

Part twelve

Part thirteen

Part fourteen

Part fifteen

Part sixteen

Part seventeen

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

Everything Gator x Bunny found here!

18+ Only! MDNI!

Each part or blurb contain their own warnings!

Moodboard

Meet Ugly

You're new to town. It's only supposed to be temporary. A handsome Deputy catches your eye, then seemingly ruins his chances as soon as he opens his mouth.

Part I

Getting pulled over by one of Stark County's finest turns into anything but a routine traffic stop.

Part II

A routine check at your bar goes sour. It may not be his fault, but you can certainly take out all of your frustrations on your boyfriend.

Part III - Crosses to Bear

The happiness and bliss you've had finally comes crashing down. You never thought being with Gator would have such dire consequences.

Part IV - Ensnared

When it all becomes too much, you're ready to leave Lehigh behind but Gator has other plans in mind.

Part V - Sins of the Father

It all comes to a head with Roy. Will Gator let the sins off his past dictate his future or will he be the better man that he knows you deserve?

Part VI - Silver Linings

Home was never a place, until it was with you. Happily Ever After.

Blurbs:

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater

Gator would do anything to cheer you up. All treats, no tricks for his girl.

Will you be mine?

Valentine's Day is one of your favorite holidays! You're a little bratty when you think things aren't going your way. Gator takes matters into his own hands.

Bruises and Borrowed Kisses

Gator gets hurt which leads to confessions from the both of you.

A Very Merry Christmas

You give Gator a few unexpected gifts for Christmas!

[d4ughtersgrave]

𝐃𝐎 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌? 𝐃𝐎 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌? 𝐈 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐔𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐒𝐄, 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐈𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖...

GET HIM BACK !

PAIRING steve harrington x fem! reader

SUMMARY in which your now ex boyfriend cheats on you with his so called 'work wife.' your solution? getting back at him with his new girlfriend's newly dumped ex, steve harrington. you'll get your revenge for sure.

WARNINGS 18+ MDNI cheating, teamed up revenge dating, fake dating, toxic exes, rom com, rightfully petty reader w/ attitude, angst, fluff, smut every chapter you’re warned lol, steve and reader are both idiots who eventually fall in love, adult language, smoking/drinking, inspired by olivia rodrigo’s “get him back”

WORD COUNT ?

CHAPTER ONE 18+

CHAPTER TWO 18+

CHAPTER THREE 18+

AUTHORS NOTE: hello! this will be a small mini series, i am still very much focusing on 'i'm your man.' it's just good for me to have several projects to go back and forth on whether it's series or one shots, so that way i'm not forcing myself to write something i'm not in the mood for.

[sheisjoeschateau]

📁 MERCY.

🩸 An Ongoing Fanfic Series from Misha’s Masterlist Library. 📚 ALL BOOKS +chapters below -> scroll on… 📕📗📘📙 🗂️ Infodump file below {includes my curated series soundtrack etc}

Gator Tillman x OC!fem!reader 🖤 A slow burn childhood friends to lovers romance — fueled by angst, dark comedy, unhinged thrill-packed action and heavy smut with even heavier plot. Inspired by and based on Fargo, gone total teenage dirtbags into trauma strong icons. 18+

Gator Tillman is sin, Quinn Mercer is the altar... and they never pray for forgiveness. She's been his ever since they were kids. He doesn't believe in fate, or any of that shit. But he'd bleed out before letting anyone else have her.

SUMMARY: Turns out? Bonnie and Clyde were born in Fargo, North Dakota.

They were born into rot. Her in old money, him in old crime. Childhood tied them together; circumstance kept the knot tight. Mercer’s been in love with him since she was four years old. Gator’s spent his whole life pretending he didn’t notice.

From the dusty backroads of their small town to the suffocating halls of their fathers’ empires, they grow up side by side. Through schoolyard scraps, midnight escapes, blood money, seedy secrets, and the kind of grief you just can’t talk about. They learn early that loyalty is currency, that bloodlines are a death sentence, and that in a place like this, you only survive if you’ve got someone who’ll take the fall with you.

By their teens, they’ve perfected the art of getting under each other’s skin. Rivals, allies, nuisances. Too tangled to walk away, too proud to admit they’d never want to. In their twenties, it gets worse: the stakes are higher, the knives are sharper, and the things they want from each other are far more dangerous than they used to be.

She fell first. He fell harder. And neither of them will get out clean.

Maybe not even alive.

♡ AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is undoubtedly my grittiest work yet. It's also my favorite series I've ever written.

Honestly, this one has a mind of its own. I wrote "MERCY" shamelessly, and turned every single wish I had for a fanfic into my own. I took Gator Tillman's character, and literally said, "let's make him far more tragic, far more edgy, and far more antagonist-worthy endgame bad boy."

I wanted a good girl who is pure but jaded. I wanted a bad boy who has the most fragile heart in the world. I wanted Bonnie and Clyde who survive the burn, and get the most unexpectedly happy ending that neither one of them were ever meant to have. I wanted to put the fucking underbelly of politics and elite society under an embellished microscope that still touches on really terrifying fucking truth. I wanted blood that's met with love. I wanted angst in a way that makes bone aches, so that the comfort can be more tender than anything. I wanted to turn "hurt/comfort" into something badass. I wanted plot-driven-smut that makes you wanna scream into a pillow for nights on end.

I wanted to make you all fall in love with Gator Tillman the same way I did, in the darkest corners of my wildest imagination.

🩸 Here's Mercy.

Xx, misha ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“You’re really not gonna fight back?” he asked after a moment, voice rougher now, like he didn’t like how easily she'd just let it go. “You’re really just gonna stand there and let me say whatever the fuck I want?” The words had landed on Mercer's back while she slowly walked away. She inhaled quietly, turning to look at him now. Her lips parted slightly, but no countered words came. Because resignation flooded her numbed senses.  Mercer was done. “I’m tired of this back-and-forth, Gator.” A muscle in his jaw visibly twitched. His hands curled into fists at his sides. He looked frustrated. Restless. Like he wanted to say something, or wanted to push her into doing something. Anything.  Because pulling away meant that she'd really given up. But instead, he just scoffed, turning sharply on his heel. “Yeah, well,” he muttered, not looking back, “you’ve been tired of me for years, haven’t you?” And just like that, he was gone.

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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆☾⋆⁺₊⋆☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆☾⋆

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BOOK ONE • early childhood -> elementary school -> middle school

♡ 1) Blood Red Capri Sun ♡ 2) Dogs With Goddamn Matches ♡ 3) Bonnie + Clyde ♡ 4) Circumstantial Circles ♡ 5) A Storm Named Lilah ♡ 6) The Gift ♡ 7) Court Jester With a Truck ♡ 8) Junebug ♡ 9) Still in Town ♡ 10) The Shift

♡ 11) Happy Motherf*ckin' Birthday, Andrew Clarence Jenkins. ♡ 12) Sweet Escape ♡ 13) Unspoken Rule ♡ 14) House of Cards ♡ 15) Backfiring! ♡ 16) A Privileged Invitation ♡ 17) The Ballerina, Her Guardian & the Vultures ♡ 18) The Road to New York ♡ 19) Arrival ♡ 20) …Louise Would.

♡ 21) Residency ♡ 22) Lost in Transit: The Legend of Ted ♡ 23) Truth Never Lived in the Words ♡ 24) This City Spits Back ♡ 25) Off the Record ♡ 26) Talk to the Tillman ♡ 27) Ain’t That the Pointe? ♡ 26) Getaway Plans

(-> scrapped chapters moved to later in the book series. ignore the cryptic inclusion vs. me just deleting ily thx)

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

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BOOK TWO • freshman year

♡ 1) Sixteen Candles ♡ 2) The Outlaw, His Princess and Their Jester ♡ 3) First Impressions, Unlikely Bonds ♡ 4) The Hallway Gauntlet ♡ 5) Torque and Tension ♡ 6) Roy Tillman Loves Jesus ♡ 7) The Schulte Boy ♡ 8) The Fraternal Twins ♡ 9) Gut is God ♡ 10) Ain’t That the Pointe?

♡ 11) Sugar, Pumpkin Spice and Gator? Be Nice. ♡ 12) The Hunt ♡ 13) Coyote Ugly ♡ 14) Skin and Bone ♡ 15) The Photo in the Hallway ♡ 16) She’s Roy’s Problem ♡ 17) Thanksgiving at the Tillmans ♡ 18) Till Kingdom Come, We Feast on Revelations

♡ 19) Growing Pains ♡ 20) A Little Princess in Fargo (1/2) -> chapter continued (2/2) ♡ 21) After Curtain Call ♡ 22) Daddy’s Little Girl ♡ 23) A Madison Family Christmas ♡ 24) Merry at the Madison's ♡ 25) Goodnight from D.C. ♡ 26) Windchill Touchdown ♡ 27) Sin City Sweethearts ♡ 28) The Resolutions Club ♡ 29) Second Time’s a Charm! ♡ 30) Roadside Rocky Road

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

📘

BOOK THREE • sophomore year -> junior year

♡ 1) Sophomore Year ♡ 2) A Date with Reed Calloway ♡ 3) Uncharted Territory ♡ 4) Some Protectors ♡ 5) Equestrian Elites ♡ 6) Read the Goddamn Syllabus! ♡ 7) Hey, Hallmark ♡ 8) Barlow’s Ballet Company ♡ 9) TBD ♡ 10) TBD ♡ 11) Nothin’ Good Starts in a Getaway Car [A Reckoning] ♡ 12) Bloodstained Canvas ♡ 13) Talk to the Tillman ♡ 14) Old Habits, New Hobbies ♡ 15) Ice! Ice! Baby! ♡ 16) Brunch with Barlow ♡ 17) Ah, Puck It! ♡ 18) Off-Brand Machine Gun Kelly ♡ 19) Edge of Seventeen ♡ 20) Leverage

♡ 21) Daylight Fills My Heart with Sadness ♡ 22) Cold Storage ♡ 23) TBD ♡ 24) TBD ♡ 25) Scouted ♡ 26) TBD ♡ 27) TBD ♡ 28) TBD ♡ 29) TBD ♡ 30) TBD

♡ 31) TBD ♡ 32) TBD ♡ 33) TBD ♡ 34) TBD ♡ 35) TBD ♡ 36) TBD ♡ 37) TBD ♡ 38) TBD ♡ 39) TBD ♡ 40) TBD ♡ FULL LIST OF CHAPTERS COMING SOON

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

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BOOK FOUR • senior year -> college

♡ FULL LIST OF CHAPTERS COMING SOON

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

♡ misc. series archives

♡ the "mercy" characters on Instagram 💌 my fave love letters about mercy

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear Dollie | Part fifteen.

Gator isn’t happy about you meeting with another dad from school, miss plays his game to make him jealous, Dollie throws a sickie from school but it works in gators favour. (Thank you anon for the idea🫶🏻)

Jealous gator, soft gator, smut 18+

“Sit still Dollie girl” gator sighed as Dollie pouted on his lap, hands moving to knock the brush from his hands “pick ya bow”

Gator quickly pulled the brush through her hair one last time before Dollie handed him the bow she’d picked out, a pretty pink one with ladybugs dotted over it.

“There” he smiled as he slid the bow into the pile of curls.

“Is it pretty daddy?”

“So pretty baby” gator smiled, kissing the top of her head before she climbed off.

Dollie stood in front of him hands on her hips as he smiled at her, her little cowboy boots could melt his heart.

“Come on daddy!” Oh, she was having a sassy day today apparently.

“Sorry, yer jus too cute” gator laughed as he ruffled his hands through the hair he’d just spent ten minutes perfecting “go get ya bag”

Dollie huffed, little hands trying to smooth her hair back into place before running upstairs to get her bag.

“Good morning” you smiled as you walked into the room, gators eyes met yours instantly.

“Mornin, what’s all this fer” he gestured over to you.

“Oh, one of the parents might know of a job going in another school” you smiled as you turned to the mirror swiping a clear lipgloss across your lips “they’re gonna help me”

“What’s her name?”

You turned back towards him, innocent smile pressed to your lips.

“HIS name is Blake” you watch as gators jaw tenses, his eyes darkening “we’re gonna grab coffee and he’s gonna help me fill in the application”

Gators stomach was doing flips, he can’t remember ever seeing you wear makeup before.

You looked unreal, beautiful. But it wasn’t for him, it was for another man.

“I can take ya fer coffee an help ya”

“Hmm, it’s okay” you walked towards him to grab your bag “it’s already planned, he’s probably already on his way” you crouched down next to gator to pick the bag up, the smell of your perfume doing something to him that he wouldn’t like to admit.

“Well let me drop ya” gator wanted to get a better look at him, his competition “saves ya drivin”

Gator wondered if it was the dad you were always talking to at the door or if there way another dad, did all of the dads want you?

“Gator, it’s fine” you laugh as you stand back up pulling the bag up your arm over your shoulder “I’ll see you after work?”

“Y-yeah”

You smile softly at him before walking to the stairs.

“Have a good day, sweet girl” you called up to Dollie before turning and leaving.

Gator sat for a minute in silence, jealousy raging through his body. It was just coffee he tried to convince himself, gator loved coffee.

Maybe he’d pick one up on his way to work.

~

“Come on sassy pants” gator teased as he opened the car door for Dollie, she huffed as she climbed inside “what’s up today?”

“My tummy hurts” Dollie’s bottom lip starts to tremble, big eyes filling with tears as gator sighs.

“Ya feel poorly baby?” He places his hand against her stomach softly, panic rising in him rapidly but quickly shaking it away remembering the last time he raced her to the hospital and made a fool out of himself.

“Mhmmm” Dollie pouted, gator exhaled moving his hand to her head, she did feel warm.

“Okay, ya gotta come to the office with daddy”

Dollie’s eyes light up at the idea, she’d never been to the office with him before. It was something new, exciting.

“Hey, how bout we go get a coffee on tha way?”

“Coffee is YACK” Dollie exaggerated making gator laugh.

“Well ya can have a milkshake or somethin”

“Okay, daddy”

Gator kissed her head before buckling her in, moving to get into his seat now.

“Who knows, we might even see mama”

Dollie squealed in the backseat, hands clapping together as gator smirked.

~

Gator pulled up outside, he knew you’d be at this one. There wasn’t many places to get coffee in this town, this was the nicer of them.

He saw your car, parking his own next to it.

“Well look at tha doll, mamas car” gator smiled at her, she was grinning now.

Gator was starting to think she was fine, just wanted to stay home with daddy.

But this worked perfectly for his plan, to get in between whatever was going on between you and Blake.

Gator held onto Dollie hand as they walked towards the door, he’d already spotted you through the window.

You were sitting on the chair next to him, shoulders brushing, laughing at whatever bullshit he was telling you.

Your laptop on the table in between the both of you, one of his hands on it while yours rested next to it.

You looked way too cosy for gators liking, but he was about to break it up.

“Mama!” Dollie squealed as she ran over to the table where you were sat, making you jump as she stood next to you grinning.

“Dollie, wait, why aren’t you at..”

“Well, look who it is” gator smirked as he approached the table “she’s got a sore tummy, wanted to see her mama” he tskd.

You could feel Blake’s eyes burning into you as you looked between gator and Dollie, cheeks starting to blush.

“Who’s this?” Blake laughed nervously his eyes shifting to gator who was in his work uniform, then down to Dollie.

“This is gator, my friend” you smiled turning back towards Blake “you remember me telling you about losing my job, well this is why” you giggle pointing to gator.

“Nice to meet you man” Blake nodded towards gator.

Gator ignored him, eyes straight back on you.

“Well, ya gonna introduce her?” Gator gestured to Dollie, her hands moving to take the cookie from your plate.

Gator wanted to push you, to see if you’d told Blake about her.

“This is Dollie, gators daughter” you smile, pushing the cookie into Dollie’s hands.

“Our daughter” gator replies, eyes burning into you.

You nod slowly, smile growing across gators lips as he turns his attention back towards Blake.

“Jus thought we’d say hi, let’s go doll” gator smirked as he held onto Dollie’s hand, walking back towards the till to order the milkshake he’d promised Dollie before quickly turning back to you “oh, could ya change the sheets when ya home? Ya made a bit of a mess last night”.

You wanted to disappear, you couldn’t even look at Blake anymore.

But Blake quickly changed the conversation, noticing the blush against your cheeks as gator stared over at the table.

“You want to work with little ones again?”

“Mhm” was all you could manage, your eyes on the cup in front of you.

“Hey, don’t shut me out now” Blake whispered wrapping his arm around your shoulder “there’s some weird vibe around him man”

You laughed as you rested your head against his shoulder, gator almost dropped his coffee as he watched you cosy up to him.

You waved bye to Dollie as she passed you, her tiny hand wrapped around her milkshake.

When you were sure they’d left you turned to face Blake.

“Shit, I’m sorry he’s.. full on” you half smile.

“You didn’t tell me you had a daughter, it’s cool I just thought you’d have mentioned it”

You groan letting your head fall into your hands.

“She’s not biologically mine, but she’s mine” you smile softly “and this is just coffee and helping a friend, right?”

Blake sighs as he looks at you, a soft smile spreading on his face.

“I mean, I’d have liked to see where this could go? But if this is your way of friend zoning me” he laughs “that’s cool too”

“Good” you smile before turning your attention back to the laptop, loading up the application.

~

Gator sat in his office, Dollie on his lap drawing on the stick notes scattered across the desk.

Thank god it was an office day, he didn’t have the capacity to work with people right now.

He wanted to get home, see you, make sure you hadn’t forgotten about the little family you both shared.

“Look!” Dollie held up the post it note in front of gators face “star!”

“Tha’s the best fuckin horse I’ve ever seen” gator smiled taking the picture from her hands, pinning it to the board next to his desk “look good?”

“I love it!” Dollie beamed as she proudly looked at her artwork scattered across the board, her eyes flicking between the photos of family members she’d never met and her. “Daddy, we should put a photo of mama on here” she pointed to the board.

“Ya think so?”

“Mhmmm” Dollie dragged her finger down the photo of gator and his mama “nana” she smiled.

Gators heart was fluttering, she loved her so much even though she’d never met her.

“Yeah, nana” gator smiled, kissing the top of her head “she gets ta see yer picture of star too now”Dollie squealed jumping down from gators lap, rubbing through the door to go and see jenny the receptionist.

Gator pulled out his phone to text you, he wanted to put himself in the way of whatever was going on between you and Blake, but he knew you wouldn’t reply.

You’d be too busy laughing at his bullshit jokes, drinking your fancy coffee that he no doubt paid for to woo you over.

Gator scoffed to himself at the thought, quickly humbling himself that he wasn’t no better than Blake. At least Blake had got you a coffee, all gator had ever done for you was a cheap bouquet of flowers to say sorry.

He kept loading up your social media accounts to check if you’d been online, maybe even posted about your date but you hadn’t.

That meant you were still out with him, giving him all of your attention.

~

The end of the day rolled around quickly, luckily for gator Dollie had spent most of the day out front with jenny on reception.

“Ready?” Gator smiled down at her, shaking her head as she looked at him “now, come on mamas waiting”

Dollie smiled softly before walking round to gator, holding onto his hand.

“Bye Jenny” Dollie waved her hand at her as gator pulled her gently through the door.

“Bye hun”

“How’s ya tummy?”

Dollie looked up at gator, eyes wild.

“Hurty”

“Tha right?” Gator mock gasped “ya better get right in bed when we’re back”

“Better now!” Dollie grinned up at him, gator shook his head.

“Wanna go get ice cream?”

Dollie squealed jumping up and down, gator laughed pulling open the car door for her.

“Can mama come?”

“I’ll ask”

Dollie was full of good ideas today, he finished strapping her in before pulling out his phone.

“Hey!”

“Wanna meet us fer ice cream? Doll wants ya”

“Oh, I’m just finishing up with Blake”

Still? It had been hours. Gators body was on fire, hand tightening on his phone.

“How longs the fuckin application” he scoffed as he climbed into his seat.

“He’s helping me unload my things from the school into my room” you giggle.

Gators stomach flipped, he was in his house? In your room? Alone with you?

“I coulda helped ya” gator bit down on his bottom lip, trying to keep his tone soft but it wasn’t working “shall I come back? Incase he.. tries somethin?”

Gators cheeks burn as he hears you laugh, Blake laughing in the background somewhere. Was he in your bed?

“It’s fine, gator” you laugh “see you later”

You hung up, gator stared down at his phone for a moment before turning his head to look at Dollie.

“She’s busy” Dollie pouted as she looked at him, he understood how she felt. He was holding his own pout back too at this point “S’ok, daddy and Dollie date like old times” he smiled softly.

Back at the house Blake carried the final box up to your room, piling it ontop of the others before standing in front of you.

“That’s everything” you looked up from your phone at him, too busy typing and deleting a message to gator to explain he had nothing to worry about. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to let gator sweat a little, like he’d made you.

“Thank you” you smile sweetly “I’ll keep you updated about the job”

“Good luck! And uh.. if you ever change your mind about..us” he scoffed cringing at how desperate he sounds “I’m down”.

You nod pushing up off the bed to walk him out, hearing the sound of tires pulling in outside the house.

“Bye” you hold the door open, your attention quickly turning to Dollie frantically waving from the back of the car.

“Hey Dollie girl” you coo as you walk towards her door, gators hand quickly pushing the door back closed as he looked down at you.

“No men in the house” he looked stern, but his usual smirk was there “told ya, don’t want them round her”

You sigh as you place your hands on your hips turning to face him.

“She wasn’t home, neither were you” you smile innocently, knowing exactly what you were doing.

“Hmm, no men in the house” gators hands pulled you away from Dollie’s door, slamming your back into the back of his car so you were both hidden from little eyes “yer mine”

You laugh as his head falls to your shoulder, lips brushing against your neck.

“Not yours” you whisper but your head falls to the side giving him more room anyway, breath catching in your throat as he slowly teases you with open mouth kisses.

“Keep tellin ya self that” he scoffs, his breath hitting your neck sending shivers through you.

“I will” you smile up at him as you push him away, biting down on your lip as he looks at you “I’m all.. worn out today anyway, been busy” you shrug.

You watched gators jaw tense, the rage building inside him but all you can do is smile.

“Don’t”

“What?” You tease stepping closer, your hand resting on his chest “just telling you about my REALLY fun day” you smirk before walking towards Dollie’s door.

~

The rest of the evening passed by quickly, Dollie helped gator make dinner, helped clean out star and you helped with bath time.

Gator put Dollie to bed and you cleaned up fownstairs, waiting for him.

“Did ya sleep with him?” You bit down on your bottom lip to hide the smirk, continuing to wipe down the counter.

“Nosey” you giggle.

Gators hand lands on top of yours to stop you, you turn to him.

“Did ya?” His eyes were soft, maybe a little hurt in them along with the jealousy “jus wanna know, pretty”

“It’s none of your business” you whisper, teasing act starting to melt away “I’m not yours”

“Ya want ta be, S’why yer playin hard ta get” gator smirks at you “ya don’t have ta play games, I want ya”

His hand lands against your hip, pulling you closer to him. Your chest pressed against his and he looked down at you, the warmth of him against you not helping with the growing need you had for him.

“I’m not playing games” you whisper as his fingers hook under your chin pulling your face to look up at him.

“Let go upstairs” gator whispered as his lips met yours, teeth dragging over your bottom lip before kissing you again “please, pretty girl”

“Okay” you whisper into his mouth between kisses, you can feel the smile in his lips as he kisses you.

Gators hands move to hold onto your thighs, squeezing the soft skin there before lifting you up with ease. Your legs wrapping around his waist as he carries you up the stairs, lips still crashing into yours as you giggle slamming into the wall every so often.

“Fuck yer so pretty” he cooed as he placed you down against his sheets, hands moving to his belt quickly undoing it.

You watched as he stripped himself of his clothes frantically but quietly, standing in front of you naked.

God he was beautiful, every part of him.

“Cmon” he smirked grabbing your feet to pull you onto your back before his hands were working your jeans down your legs, shirt pulled off you tossed onto the floor leaving you in your underwear “fuck” he finally slowed down, hands sliding down your thighs, his head following them as he placed kisses against your bare skin.

Your stomach was tightening already from the touch, already feeling overwhelmed in the best way.

Gators fingers looped through the waistband of your panties as he slides them down slowly, groaning softly at the sight.

“Been too long, pretty” he whispered as he placed a kiss against your wet folds, your back arching off the bed at his touch had him smirking against you.

Gator moved back up your body, his hands gently dragging all the way up to your bra as he pulled it off.

Your fingers run through his thick hair as he kisses across your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth warm tongue brushing against it.

A soft moan falls from you as he nips at you, other breast completely covered by his large hand as he squeezes.

“Let me hear those pretty sounds, baby” he whispers as he switches to your other breast, his hard cock rubbing against your pussy as he rolls his hips making your body feel electric.

You push your hips up higher to meet his rolls so you can feel all of him, his cock slotting perfectly against you.

“Yer so needy, pretty girl” he teased as he bit down on your bottom lip, moans falling from you as his hand pushed against your mouth “shhh” he smirked.

You let your eyes flutter shut as he continues to rub against you, head of his cock perfectly nudging against your clit everytime.

Gator pulls off you rolling onto his back before he lifts you up onto him.

“Wanna see ya” you lower yourself down onto him, head falling back at the familiar stretch “fuck, just like that” gator groaned as you started to move, his cock hitting all of the right places under your control.

Gators hands held onto your hips, guiding you up and back down at the pace you set.

Your hands rested against his chest, moans falling from you both quietly.

You picked up your speed, feeling the coil in your stomach tightening closer to falling apart with every roll of your hips.

“Ya close?” Gator bit down on his lip as he looked at you, eyes half lidded totally blissed out.

“Mhmm”

One of his hands moving from your hip to your clit, fingers circling against it quickly as he watched the pleasure on your face, heart beating rapidly.

“Fuck, yer so beautiful like this..” his own hips thrusting up to meet yours now as he chased his own finish “when yer a slu..”

“Fuck, gator!” You cried out as your legs started to tremble, orgasm washing over you.

“Shit, shit..” he moaned as you tightened around his cock, he was close “shit I’m gonna cum” he moved his hand away from your sensitive clit now.

Both hands resting against your thighs as his brows furrowed, you smirked at him as you stopped moving lifting yourself off his lap sitting next to him on the bed.

“Fuck, why’d ya do that?” Gators eyes were wide, hard cock twitching against his stomach “was gonna cum”

“Poor baby” you cooed as you smirked at him again, hand stroking down his cock making his hips thrust up involuntarily “i finished” you shrugged as you met his eyes.

“I- I didnt” he whined as he ran his hand over his face “please baby, get back on” he pulled at your arm making you giggle.

You climbed off the bed walking towards the door, gator following you. Slamming the door back shut as you opened it, dark eyes burning down on you as you smirked at him.

“When ya gonna stop playin these silly games, pretty” he smirked as his hands pulled your hips into him, cock resting heavily against you making you moan “see? Ya want it too”

Gators hands on your hips spin you around so your hands land against the door, his cock pressing against your ass as he places kisses down your spine.

You shiver, body flooding with pleasure all over again.

He lines his cock up against your entrance, just letting the tip kiss there gently.

“Fuck, please” you moan, pushing yourself back to push him in further.

Gator doesn’t deny you like you did him, thrusting into you with force that knocks the air out of you.

“Not playin nice now baby” he groans as his hands grip into your hips tightly, scared you might try and get away again “fuck”

Gators head rolls back as he thrusts into you, the sound of his skin slapping against yours was enough to make you cum all over again.

“Oh my god, gator” you cry out, his hand covering your mouth to keep you quiet as his cock slams back into you.

“Shhh, pretty girl” he whispers, his hips starting to fall out of rhythm “ya gonna cum again?”

He drags his hand down from your mouth squeezing at your chest as he passes it before it settles at your clit again.

You bite down on your lip as his fingers start working it again, tears pricking your eyes at the over stimulation.

Gator worked you hard, his thrusts only getting harder as he got closer to his finish.

You cum again on his cock, body giving up as your legs tremble all over again.

“Fuck, baby” gator groaned as he thrusts into you a final time before you feel the warm sensation of him filling you up.

He rests his head against your back as he tries to catch his breath, arms wrapping around you.

“Was that okay?” His voice is low, husky as he stands up, the empty sensation making you whimper against the door.

“Y-yeah” you stand up slowly turning to face him, his eyes weren’t filled with lust, no smirk pressed to his lips.

He was just gator.

You wrapped your arms around his neck softly as you pulled him down to you, pulling him into a slow kiss.

The butterflies flying around inside your stomach shouldn’t be happening, just sex you’d always told yourself but it felt different.

It felt like something.

Tags: @louisbelongstome28 @sainzzbrina @midnightmartini @simsimstay2017 @imdjoverit @xceafh @kristywidget97 @keerygirlie98 @storietilman

@amy-brooklyn99 @tenderlyuniquepatrol

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[deeplightblue]

Tore my ACL and can’t even walk properly and I’m bored as fuck 😭 all I do except for my remote job is read Gator Tillman/Steve Harrington fics on tumblr all day everyday. Might as well just write one myself at this point, I’m so deep in the Joe Keery fanfic environment lol

[sunshinereaderx]

Dear dollie | part ten

Dollie isn’t sure she wants to see her mama, reader is still insecure & gator can’t always make it better.

Good morning” you smile down at Dollie as she walks towards you waiting at the classroom door, her hand holding on tightly to gators.

“Mornin pretty”

“Morning” you smiled softly, butterflies fluttering through you at the pet name he used for you, gators eyes meeting yours for a moment before he crouched down in front of Dollie.

“Be good” he kissed her nose making her scrunch her face up at the stubble brushing against her face.

“She’s always good!” You giggle

“Silly daddy” Dollie giggled as she kissed his cheek before walking through the door.

“Love ya Dollie girl” gator called after her, standing up in front of you.

“She’s comin later, when dolls in bed so she’s away from it all” gator sighed as he looked at you, like he was waiting for you to say something to make him feel better about the whole situation but you were just as confused.

“Should i go out?”

Gator looked like you’d just slapped him around the face, like you’d asked the most ridiculous question.

“No, its yer home” he stepped closer, turning his head to check for anyone around before pulling you from the doorway “Yer part of our family” his nose brushed against yours, the butterflies in your stomach starting to feel more busy all of a sudden.

“If you’re sure” you whisper, your lips pressing to his gently before pulling back away.

“Yer takin risks, pretty girl” gator teased smirking at you “knew id have ya fallin fer me”

“Shut up, gator” you laughed as he walked away, turning back every so often with the smirk still pressed to his lips.

~

Gator was already home when you pulled up outside the house with Dollie, as usual she was buzzing with excitement when she saw his car.

“Daddy’s home!” She squealed as her hands fumbled to undo her buckle on her seat.

“Hang on Dollie girl, im coming to help” you laughed at how frantically she’s trying to get out of her seat to get to him.

You quickly unbuckle her watching as she sprinted over to the house, straight through the door to find him.

“Ya been good?” He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her, his head resting against the top of hers.

“Of course, daddy!”

Gator looked up at you as you walked into the house, the tired expression on your face.

“Everythin okay?”

“Just tired” you smiled softly “ill do dinner tonight”

“I can do it, ya look like ya need the rest”

“It’s okay, she’s missed you today. Go spend some time with her” you smiled as you walked towards the kitchen to get started.

You’d just started to fill the pan with water when gator appeared behind you, strong arms wrapped around your waist.

Usually it would be accompanied by his hard dick digging into the back of your thigh but not today, he was just holding you because he wanted too.

“Ya should really think about leavin the school, too hard on ya”

You spun round in his arms to face him, the soft expression on his face made you realise he wasn’t trying to be controlling he genuinely wanted to help you.

“Gator, you know im not going to do that. It’s been a busy day, that’s all” you pressed a kiss to his lips quickly.

Mindful that Dollie was still floating around somewhere downstairs.

“Okay, pretty. But when yer ready, ya know I’ll support ya” gators head fell down to rest against your shoulder, you melted into him needing the hug.

“Daddy? Are you cuddling miss?”

Gators head raised from your shoulder, his eyes meeting yours in a moment of panic.

“No, doll jus-“ he unlooped his arms from around you, turning towards Dollie.

“Daddy, you said telling lies is bad” you looked over at her, the stern expression on her face “gets you in EVEN bigger trouble!”

“Yer right” gator exhaled walking towards her to get down on her level “lyin is bad”

“We’re you cuddling miss, daddy?”

“Y-yeah”

Dollie smiled at him her eyes flicking behind him to you for a moment.

“Wanna play hairdressers?”

“Sounds good to me Dollie dot”

Gator holds onto her hand as she leads him upstairs to her room, sitting him down on the small chair in front of the mirror.

“You’re too big daddy!”

Gator laughs as he looks at her in the reflection of the mirror, even on the child’s size seat he was still much to high for her to reach his hair.

“Go get yer step from the bathroom”

~

Dollie walked back into the room dropping the step on the floor next to gator before stepping up onto it grinning.

“Much better!” Gator smiled at her, Dollie looked at herself in the mirror from gators shoulder.

Her chin pressed to it as she smiled, gators head falling to the side to rest against hers.

“Yer so beautiful, doll” he sighed.

“You’re beautiful daddy” she giggled, gator looked at her reflection in the mirror wondering how he ever got so lucky to have her after everything bad he did in his life.

How she ended up so sweet, so perfect.

Dollie started to brush through his hair, gator biting down on his lip as she dragged the brush through his gelled hair.

“Do it slow doll” he laughed as she struggled to get the brush through it.

Gator watched the concentration on her face as she slowly pulled the brush through it, detangling the gel as she did it.

“I like your hair better when it’s fluffy daddy, fluffy like a cat” she giggled as she picked a butterfly clip up off the table, pushing it into his hair gently “wow” she squealed as she looked at it.

“Never looked better!” He cooed as he looked at his reflection now, the dark bags under his eyes that were from being tired. Not from bruises like they used to be, his hair only messy because of his daughter messing with it. Not because he’d been roughed up.

“Daddy, why was mama here?”

Gators chest tightened, he tried to swallow down the anxiety that started to come up his throat from the question.

She must have heard that she was here, of course she did. She heard all of the shouting.

Gator turned on his seat to face her, his hands holding onto both of hers as he looked into her eyes.

“She wants to see ya, doll” gator watched as the smile faded off her face, the way her eyes twinkled as she looked at him “is that somethin ya would like to happen?”

Dollie thought for a moment, her hands squeezed onto gators.

“I like miss”

“She’s not yer mama Dollie girl” gator pulled one of her hands up to his lips to kiss it softly “Ya can like miss an yer mama”

“Do you like miss,daddy?”

“Yeah” he smiled softly at her “i like that she’s kind with you, i like that you like her”

“What about mama? Do you like her?”

“I like her because she gave me the best thing ever” he placed a kiss to dollies nose “but i need to know if you want to see her doll, its yer choice but i need to know what to tell mama”

Dollie took a moment again to think it through, gator watched as she started to smile again.

“Your hair is sticking up again” she giggled as she reached for the hairbrush again.

“Hey” gator grabbed onto the brush before she had chance to get it “you dont have to tell me what ya want right now, but no one is going to be mad no matter what ya want to do okay?”

Dollie looked at him, he could see the sadness in her eyes which was strange for a little girl who only ever wanted her mama that now had the chance.

“Okay,daddy”

“Love ya so much Dollie girl” gator pulled her against his chest, trying to hold himself together as well as Dollie.

~

You all sat around the table, mostly silent as you all ate together.

You could see gator was tense by the way his brows were permanently furrowed but the pink butterfly clip stuck in his hair made him look less threatening.

“Miss? Do i have to call you that?”

“What would you like to call me Dollie?” You smiled at her across the table, truthfully you hated being called miss. It made you feel like you never clocked off the job and honestly the relationship you had built with Dollie was a lot more than that now.

“Mama”

Gators head shot up to look at her the turned to you, the expression on your face wasn’t horrified this time. It was kind, understanding.

You knew this moment would come, you basically were filling in the role of her mama.

“Dolls..” gator started but you cut him off quickly.

“Do you know im not your mama?”

‘yes, silly” Dollie giggled as she looked at you.

“Okay, you know I can never take the place of your real mama right?” You poke your finger against her nose making her laugh, trying to keep the mood light.

“Mhmmm” Dollie giggled

Gators eyes flickered between you both as you spoke, unsure of where you were going with this.

“Then you can call me whatever you like, as long as it’s okay with daddy. Mama, my name, whatever you think suits me” you smile at her sweetly, her little dimples melting you as she smiled back before turning to gator.

“Daddy, can i call miss mama?”

Gators chest tightened, he’d always told her that she only had one mama. It went against everything that he agreed with but for some reason the way you explained it to Dollie, the way you were okay with her calling you that made something change inside him.

“If that’s what ya want, baby” his words came out barely above a whisper, a soft smile placed to his lips.

“Okay daddy” Dollie giggled as she went back to her food, gator looked over at you the way you smiled as you watched her, never shying away from the hard questions.

You embraced her and everything that came with her, you did more for her than her mama ever had.

A warm feeling washed over him, it felt like family.

~

You cleaned downstairs whilst gator bathed Dollie and got her ready for bed, anxiety flooding you over the thought of seeing her again.

The thought of watching gator melt at the sight of another woman made your heart hurt, but you’d be there with him. Just like you always were when he needed you.

“It’s clean enough, come here” gator flopped down on the sofa, holding his arms open towards you “need ya”

You climb on top of him, laying down against him so your head rested against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Wanted somethin like this fer so long”

“Like what?”

“This, somethin that feels like family. Someone who loves doll, who cares for her”

“I care for you both” you press your lips to his chest.

“I know” one of gators hands moved up to your hair, twisting pieces of it softly between his fingers “do ya want this?”

“Want what?” You push yourself up to look at him, he looked exhausted and the hardest part of his day was still yet to come.

“This” he gestured to the room “me, doll, everythin that comes with it. Yer young, ya can start a family with someone without all this shit”

He was right, you could.

You could walk out of this house and never have to see either of them again, nothing holding you to them.

You could meet someone who didn’t come with baggage, start a family that was yours.

But you didn’t want that, you liked what you had here.

“It’s not shit, gator” you kissed his lips softly “its you and Dollie, its my home”

“It’s a lot” gator scoffed.

It was, it was also a mess. A big mess that you didn’t need to be in but couldn’t walk away from.

“She’s so beautiful, her mama” you sighed.

Gators chest tightened, she was. She was the most beautiful woman he’d even met.

“Gotta be a good person fer it to count” he exhaled running his hand through his hair knocking the pink butterfly clip out of his hair onto the floor.

“She can’t have been that bad, i see how you look at her” you push up off him now, moving to sit next go him, gator sits up now too.

“Don’t ya see how i look at you?” His hand rests against your cheek, thumb softly stroking the skin “yer fuckin beautiful”

“I’m just scared”

“Of what? I’m here with you”

“That she’ll worm her way back in, that ill be pushed out”

Gator sighed as he looked at you, not sure how to make you feel better. He knew how he felt towards you, but it didn’t compare to the love he still had for dollies mama.

“It- it wont happen” gator tied to convince himself. “Yer mine, remember?”

“You hesitated”

Gator looked down at his hands, the tight feeling in your chest cranking up a level as the door knocked.

~

“Hey baby” dollies mom grinned at gator as she leaned up to kiss his cheek before making her way into the front room “your nanny stays over?” She turns to face him as she spots you.

“Yeah..” gator responds nervously, likes the words didn’t feel right. Because they weren’t right, he’d asked you to be in a relationship with him in some round about way.

Dollies mom looked over at you before sitting down on the sofa next to gator.

“Did you think things through?”

“I spoke to doll, she isn’t sure if she wants to see you yet”

You watched as she pouted her lips up at him, her hand holding onto his. He didn’t pull away, of course he didn’t. But it didn’t stop your stomach from turning at the sight.

“Could you maybe, you know. Convince her? I’d really hate to have to go the legal route and disturb the peace” she smiled at him “plus, the sooner you convince her the sooner I can come home baby”

“Ya can’t just come..home”

“Don’t be silly, gator. My names on the house too, remember that!”

She was blackmailing him and he was sitting back and letting her, you could feel the anger bubbling away inside of you.

You rolled your eyes as you looked at her, the way tears started to stream down her cheeks.

“Hey, hey dont cry” gator pulled her into his chest, the chest you were laying against minutes ago.

You felt sick.

“I just want my family back, I’ve missed you” her face was dangerously close to his now as she looked up at him, the way his eyes were soft as they looked at her.

“I-I’ll speak to her, but ya can’t come home..”

You watched as gator spoke, like the words hurt as they left his mouth. Did he mean what he said? You weren’t sure.

“I messed up gator, I’ll never forgive myself. But i want this, ill never leave again”

“You can see her, but that’s it..” he sighed. Gator could feel the words getting caught in his throat, he’d waited so long to hear her say those words.“We can’t fix us”

“Yer just in shock, it’ll take time” she spoke softly as she looked up at him, gator looked over at you before meeting her eyes again.

He nodded as he looked down at her, like a love sick puppy.

“Here” she grabbed gators phone and put her number in before placing it into his hands “keep in touch, im serious” she smiled as she stroked her hand against his cheek before getting up and heading towards the door.

Gator exhaled as he closed the door behind her, slowly turning to face you.

“Fuck you”

Gators mouth fell open as he looked at you, for once speechless.

“You told your daughter she could call me mama today or did you forget that when she walked through the door?”

“She’s not coming back”

“Oh gator, cut the bullshit! She’s absolutely coming back!”

“Shhh, yer gonna wake her!” Gator walked over to you hands holding onto your arms “i said she ain’t comin back, its hard to have someone you.. so much in front of you”

“Someone you what gator?” You step closer into his space “someone you love, say it”

“I dont..”

You laugh as you look at him, shaking your head.

“Don’t be a fucking coward gator, im the fool for believing you”

“Yer not a fool, fuck, you can’t leave” you looked at the panic on his face, you believed him. He was being honest he did want you here, but he also wanted her.

“You can’t have us both”

“I don’t want you both, I want you!” Gators hands slammed against the wall either side of you as he caged you in “shit, it’s hard but I want this, with you” His head fell foward against yours, his breath hitting your lips. “She’s not fuckin comin home, this is our home okay?”

“Okay” you whisper.

You wanted to believe him, he said all the right things when she wasn’t around but he turned to mush when she was.

“Let’s jus.. go to bed pretty girl”

Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, you couldn’t have sex with him right now.

You needed to work out if he was using you.

~

“Come on” gator smirked pulling you towards the bed, you stood between his thighs as he sat on the edge in his boxers “take this off” gator pulled your dress up your body slowly over your head.

You smile at him softly, his eyes moving over your body as he exhales.

His hands starting at your thighs making there way up to your hips, creeping higher slowly to find your bra.

“So perfect” he whispered, unclipping the bra watching it fall the to floor “m so lucky”

“You are?”

“Mhmm” gators mouth kissed from your stomach up to your breasts, one hand squeezing one as his mouth moved over the other “get in the bed, pretty”

His mouth closed over your nipple softly, shivers washing over you.

You could see he was hard, you knew what he wanted.

“Not tonight”

Gator groaned as he pulled himself off you.

“Why not, s’been a hard day”

“I’m tired” you let your hand rest against his face, his face fell into your touch.

“Okay baby” gator lay back down against the bed, shuffling to his space as you climbed in next to him “yer not pullin away from me are ya?”

“No” lie, lie, lie.

You were, but only to find out how he really felt towards you. To protect yourself from the heartbreak if Dollie’s mama really does worm her way back in.

“Good, can’t lose ya” he turned towards you, nose brushing against yours before he pulled you into a kiss.

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Ugh need me a Gator now!!