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jinxispunk

echoes

Steve Harrington x reader

Summary: When Steve's voice starts calling for help somewhere deep inside the Upside Down, your only instinct is to find him. That's exactly what Vecna is counting on.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, minors DNI, no use of y/n, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, set around the events of season 4, psychological horror, canon-typical violence, anxiety, fear, fluff (lmk if i missed anything)

W/C: 8.3k

A/N: this one is HEAVILY inspired by a recent rewatch of hunger games: catching fire, specifically the scene with the jabberjays. this fic has been sat in my drafts, half-written, since, honestly, about march. i finally got round to finishing it this evening, and i feel incredibly proud of it. also probably not canon-accurate in any way, but we can all pretend. enjoy <3

Read more of my writing here: [masterlist]

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The Upside Down is quieter than it has any right to be.

Not silent - never silent - but subdued in a way that feels almost expectant, as though the whole landscape is listening rather than breathing. Ash drifts lazily through the air, settling in your hair, your eyelashes, the shoulders of your jacket, while every now and then something groans somewhere overhead, the sound echoing through the skeletal remains of Hawkins before disappearing into the endless red-grey haze. Every shadow seems to linger a fraction longer than it should. Every abandoned house feels as though it's watching you back.

Nobody speaks unless they have to anymore. After everything that's happened over the past few years, you've all learnt that unnecessary noise rarely ends well in this place.

The six of you move carefully along what used to be a residential street, flashlights sweeping slowly across abandoned cars, collapsed fences and gardens swallowed whole by impossible roots. Your boots crunch through brittle leaves that never seem to decay, disturbing clouds of pale spores that drift lazily back towards the ground as though gravity itself behaves differently here. Somewhere nearby, something creaks - a long, drawn-out noise that could just as easily be an old house settling as something waking up - and without thinking, the entire group pauses for half a second before continuing on.

Nancy walks at the front, shotgun resting across one shoulder as she periodically unfolds the increasingly battered map tucked into her jacket pocket, comparing hastily scribbled landmarks against the warped streets around you. Robin stays close enough to mutter the occasional nervous observation whenever the silence starts pressing too heavily against her chest, her voice never quite loud enough to carry beyond the group. You fall into step just behind them, while Lucas and Max keep pace a few feet back and Mike brings up the rear, glancing over his shoulder often enough that it's obvious none of you are particularly comfortable being separated.

aureutr

Unfriendly reminder that if you're displeased with a piece of fanfiction your courses of action are:

Read something else

Bitch PRIVATELY to friends

Write your own take on the premise (strongly recommend!)

All of the above

Under no circumstances should you try to "politely" critique the author who put the story up as a hobby. For free. Especially if the story in question is multiple years old. Ao3 is not Goodreads

velvetciders

mirrorball

۶ৎ after steve supported you through a hard time in your life, he watched you shine right back into yourself again. he just didn’t know how hard he’d fall in love when you did.

bestfriend!steveharrington x reader

wc: 7.8k+

warnings: mention of alcohol, skinny dipping (sorta they have underwear on) , talk of depression, first kiss

Today was something different. Something he took out of his life, tried to downplay it. His birthday.

He never thought much of it, no matter how hard he tried, because it sometimes felt too much. But a part of him, maybe his vulnerable self, managed it.

And it wasn’t because the day revolved around him, that he got all the attention that he was used too. It was about the people, mostly you, and being around love he normally didn’t see at home.

Reassuring and proud.

He was never very fond of the birthday culture, with the presents and all eyes on him. It was never involved in his life, so he learned to not give it importance- and believing his life was still the same without it.

Eventually as he got older, graduated, made a life for himself, it changed.

You somehow got closer to Steve, closer than Robin was, than everyone. You two didn’t know how it happened, it just did so naturally. His eyes were always drawn to you, noticing how his heart fluttered differently than when it did it others. You showed him what being cared for looked like, how it felt- and he gradually accepted it.

Every year, the celebration was the same, one that he loved and felt most comforted with. A bonfire nestled somewhere in the forest of Hawkins, with drinks and music, with the breeze flying through and songs blasting high.

He woke up that morning with a sense of dread and regret, even if he already agreed.

What pushed him through the day and before the party was someone who made him feel embarrassingly soft. Like what he did everyday was special.

You.

“I don’t know about this one.” You say quietly with a tilt to your head, looking in your mirror.

You watched Robin spring up from your bed.

You wore a short, almost babydoll dress, that was silver with little sparkles- the spaghetti straps gliding smooth over your skin. It was a pretty dress, you had to admit, and it made your features glow.

After these past few months, you’d never imagine you would see yourself like this. In a gorgeous dress, out of your bed, getting ready for a party.

Ready to see him.

“Honest to everything, Steve is going to flip.” She exclaims, “you’re seriously gonna make him lose his shit.”

“Robin!”

“What?” You give her a dead stare, “Oh cmon, you gotta admit a little bit of it is for him.”

You shake your head with a pink face.

“…It’s his birthday.”

“Yyyeah but you’ve been like best friends for years who totally dance around each other, and he’s a total moron for not-”

“Okay, okay!” You giggle, biting the inside of your cheek to try and not smile. The concept felt so off, but when Robin said it, it sounded right.

“But it’s not anything bad! I just think.. he’s scared.” She says lightly, “it’s nice you’re doing this, going tonight, I mean.”

That was the thing. You were doing it for Steve. Your makeup, your hair, everything. Yourself. And you knew he appreciated you just for you, he’s said it countless of times, but you wanted to thank him after everything he’s done.

After making you feel stable again.

You swirl the dress a little to try and convince yourself that this was perfect. That it was just right for him.

“He’s really going to love it, you look.. so pretty. Trust me.” She says softer.

You turn and your eyes meet hers, and you could see she really means what she says. You take a deep breath and look back in the mirror.

“I don’t wanna mess things up.” You admit. “It’s his day and I just- I know he’s still going to be worried. He doesn’t need that right now.”

There was a beat of silence, blankets rustling.

“You wanna know something?”

“..What?”

“Yesterday at work, I swear. Couldn’t stop talking about you and how excited he was for tonight.”

You turn your head but you couldn’t catch yourself smiling. Your face was etched with something more emotional, more aware of what you truly deserved. The bond between you and Steve was too real for something to blush about.

Normally you would tease her back, try to deny it, but something in your heart told you not too.

“Really?” You ask.

“Really.”

“Oh.”

She nods and finishes putting on her shoes, fixing anything that was off. She gets up and stands next to you, looking at yourself and then you through the reflection.

“I wish you saw him.” She smiles, sweet and encouraging, “he was a complete madman. I even had to shut up, and you know it’s the opposite!”

You giggle at that and feel your body turn lighter, especially in moments where you can really think about how grateful you were. Suddenly, you felt Robin grab your shoulders and steer you away from the mirror.

“Now!” She raves, “we both look hot as hell, especially you, and it’s finally time for a good party.”

You fake groan and let her drag you downstairs and out the front door, your head feeling loud. The chill immediately hit you, goosebumps appearing, but you were already to close to the car for a return back.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry- I just can’t stop imagining what Steve’s face is gonna be.” She squeals, fumbling with the keys.

“Stooop!”

“What?”

“If you say anything to him, you’re dead Rob.”

The car starts and she starts to drive to the road that leads to the forest. You couldn’t ignore the sound of your heart racing, and you truly didn’t know why.

You’ve seen Steve almost every day, the reasons for that, you tried to not think of. But it was putting yourself out there, smiling again, allowing your heart to settle. You just wished it was you and him, not in front of a crowd.

It’s always been you two. Like how it was every night. The nights where you didn’t even have to call, and he was there. With his fingers unknotting the tension in your head, soaking up your tears and steadying your shakes. There were some nights where he’d stay on the phone with you, laying on his side with his eyes fluttering shut and listening to your breathing.

Some nights, he cried about you. With you or without you. Because when he saw your eyes, your state, he couldn’t help but feel his heart break at how much you lost yourself.

He would notice when something was wrong, by the crease in your eyebrows and how your cuticles were freshly sore. Sometimes when it was morning, his face smushed to your pillow with his eyes closed, you’d blink and replay the past hours. At how close he would get. Kissing your face so tenderly that it didn’t seem like a question.

In that moment, he knew it then. He’d do anything for you. His string was devoted to yours, almost like he’d go back in time and align the stars again just so he could reconnect with you.

Steve tried to push his feelings away. No, he was your best friend, he was supposed to be there for you. You didn’t need that during this time in your life, which was overthinking the feelings of a boy instead of focusing on your mental health.

You blinked and you could see it. The orange glow behind the many rustled trees of the forest, growing stronger and higher.

“Hey.” Robins voice snaps you back and you turn your head.

Her hand reaches to yours.

“Breathe, okay?” She says, taking a deep breath and watching you follow her, yours coming out uneven.

“It’s gonna be super fun. You’re gonna see Steve.. everyone, have s’mores.”

Her words made you smile.

“And if you wanna leave, tell me. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of some horrible dancing. Tell me.”

You tried to laugh at that, you really did. But the sound caught in your throat and you felt your hands start to shake. You slowly pull your hand away, hugging her over the console.

“Thanks Robin.” You say so quietly. She smiles anyway.

You and Robin walked through the man made trail further into the glow, holding onto her arm as your heart continued to race, your dress feeling tight on you.

It was okay. You were okay, everything was safe and you would see Steve.

Music seeped into your ears and you could see the water of the lake glistening under the moonlight. You saw people, close friends who were smiling and laughing by the fire. Everyone seemed so happy.

Your heart slowed.

When you got closer, every other girl was wearing a dress- but somehow yours stood out just a bit more.

Your name and Robins were immediately squealed throughout other girls, and they rushed to hug you, their perfume filling your nose. And you melted right away, because you haven’t seen them in so long and it was like your heart knew that it was at home.

And you were smiling.

Real, bright, and so natural that it made your stomach twist.

You and Robin made your rounds to say hi to everyone, your gift for Steve clutching tight in your grasp. Because then you saw him in the middle of your hug with Nancy, his eyes trained on you. He was waiting.

Waiting for a moment between you and him. Just two.

Robin nudged you and gave you an encouraging smile, and you returned it back.

Before you got even make your way to Steve, he was already five steps ahead, jumping over to you. You couldn’t tell from the fire, but his face seemed brighter and pinker than it was from afar. He immediately hugged you, your feet gently lifting off the ground.

You let out a breath that was deep in you and you felt like laying down right there, straight into his arms and away from everyone else.

“Hey!” You could hear his smile. “You came.”

So you pulled away, proving your point. It reached his eyes and his pupils were wide.

“Happy birthday.” You manage to hand him the bag without shaky hands.

“Thank you.” He says with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. That was Steve, after all.

He took it and put it down, his hands seemed to be occupied somewhere else. His fingers slithered around your waist and he tugged you closer, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“Usually, you open it.” You tilt your head, lips curling upwards.

“You look so pretty.” He breathes out. “Like…wow.”

You stutter. “You.. you look good too.”

His eyes trailed up and down, before going back to your face. Normally it would made you feel small, gross under that gaze. His was gentle and unwavering, not like he was imagining you without it. But you knew it was never like that with him- he truly did see you as some sort angel.

Your heart flipped right away. At his words, his face, at everything.

“Is this new?” He gently slides his finger underneath the strap of your dress, and your face felt hot.

“Keeping track on my closet?”

“Maybe.. I mean no!” His eyes widen in an attempt to joke. “Is it though?”

“Mm.” You hum shyly, your eyes never looking away from his eyes, like you were hypnotized. “Robin helped me pick it out.”

“For once, Robin was right.” He chuckles, “let me um, you want a drink?”

You could tell he was quickly trying to hide his red face, and you tried your hardest not to smile at his attempt, the way he swallowed nervously. You could never ignore the way he looked at you, regardless of your relationship. Friends.

“Yeah, sure.” You smile.

He nods and strains his eyes away from you, holding onto your hand and taking you to the cooler that was next to the wood benches.

He reached for the soda without hesitation, one of your favorites, but you shook your head.

“Actually um.. is the beer good?” You ask.

He looks up at you and blinks. He looked so different in that moment. Handsome. He stuttered a sound and nodded- a little taken aback back because you rarely drinked.

“Yeah it’s good, you want one?”

“…Sure.”

“You don’t have too if you don’t wanna.”

His voice was so soft that you almost gave in. But you wanted too. You wanted to feel layed back and take your mind off the things that haunted you at night. You felt safe doing that around him.

You took the can from his hands and opened it- drinking it at the same time he was with his.

You could see him smiling against the metal and he watched your eyes widen at the taste, since it was different from the ones you’ve tried before.

“Holy shit.” You laugh.

“Good?”

“You’ve got good beer taste.”

“That’s so not a thing.”

“So is.”

He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since he hugged you. And you noticed. You didn’t want to change a thing.

He shakes his head and smiles at you like he’s forgotten all those horrible nights where you looked down on yourself. He looked at you like you were the greatest, a girl who glowed into a room, not someone who cried herself to sleep every night.

“You’re something else.” He playfully says back.

“You tolerate it well.”

He bit the inside of his cheek with a lingering smile and looked away.

Later that night, you and Steve stuck around with each other. He managed to make countless excuses to continue walking around with you. You noticed it. When you stood across from him in a circle of friends, he just could not stop looking at you. You went to different groups of people, catching up and finding your place again. You felt like you belonged again, and it was so so refreshing.

You fell back into such an easy rhythm, and with the way Steve talked to you, he seemed proud. With his hand gently resting on your lower back, looking down at you with the most gentle expression ever. And you returned it back.

Sometimes it got too quiet, and he’d take you to some trees farther away from everyone. You would lean against the tree and he’d be right in front of you, eyes darting across your entire face.

His smell was so strong, with his hands fiddling with yours. And it felt so familiar again. So right, even if it was so wrong at the same time.

“I was gonna show up to yours this morning.” He admits.

You tilt your head.

“Why didn’t you? I was home.”

He shrugs and turns his head, the moonlight shining onto his face as he looks at the lake. He was so pretty and that thought lingered in your head for a long time. You couldn’t think like that.

He was your friend, the one who’s always been there for you, who had your back in any given time. He didn’t need all that came with you. He deserved better than that. Stable.

“I didn’t know if you were gonna come tonight.”

You frown and say quietly, “‘Course I’d come, Steve. I know I haven’t been out much but it’s.. it’s you. It’s us.”

He looked back and he already looked relieved.

“M’ really proud of you.” He starts, “and I don’t wanna sound cheesy or something. But I am, and.. I’m glad you here.”

Your eyes dart back and forth to his and that’s when you realize how intimate this was. You were so close to him, and the way you two quietly talked to each other felt like a secret. With his hands intertwined with yours and his breath fanning over your lips.

Being this close to him reminded you of those nights. The nights where he practically had to shake you to stop the crying, his lips pressed to the side of your face as he whispered. Maybe because he saw you at your lowest, the worst you’ve ever been, means that he saw you as his first. That you were Steve’s first thought in the morning, wether if it was out of concern or not.

“All cus of you.” You whisper. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Yeah?” He asks, unsure but willing to believe.

“…Yeah.”

He stayed quiet, his baby pink lips parted, and god, you wanted to kiss him so bad. You didn’t have a clue that he was thinking, what’s been going on in his head all night.

“On top of that, you look so fucking beautiful.” He chuckles, “your dress, everything else. Beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him, feeling yourself instantly smile. After all these months of forcing it to appear, something simple like seeing Steve and listening to him instantly brought it back. Your stomach felt fuzzy.

“I look like a disco ball.”

“A beautiful disco ball.”

“Who definitely smells like beer.” You giggle and he shakes his head with the most genuine expression.

“You smell perfect. Everything’s perfect.” He hums.

He leans foward, hand sliding behind your neck and kissing your forehead like he always did, your shoulders dropping. He peppered it once more and it felt like how it did back in your bedroom, when you broke down and he kissed it all away.

He pulls back with his hair in front of his face, and you pushed your hand foward to push it away.

Before you could do that, someones voice rang through the trees, calling Steve’s name. He sighed and flickered his eyes back to you, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear.

All this mess, the hair in front of each others faces, was evidence of how flushed you two were. But the words, the feelings, lingered in the air and it didn’t feel like they would be acknowledged anytime soon. You were scared.

It took a moment before he talked again.

“I swear I’m gonna kick everyone out.”

“You own the forest now?”

“Oh, obviously. It can be yours too, but you gotta earn it.”

You laugh and tilt your head back, leaning it against the bark like his name wasn’t being yelled. He leaned closer anyway like it was just another excuse to stay longer.

“And what do I have to do to earn a title of the forest?”

He squints his eyes and pretends he’s thinking, which only reminded you of how happy he made you, with your cheeks aching from smiling. You were so glad you came after almost not going.

“…Maybe if you promise to stay later? After everyone’s gone?” He whispered.

You’d do anything to hear that gentle voice for the rest of your life.

His name was yelled again and you frowned. He opened his mouth and his eyes looked like he would stay.

“Cmon.” You say softly before he could, lacing his hand with yours and going back to the fire- his eyes trained to the back of your head, his heart gravitated towards you.

It was getting late, the sun already slipped away.

But the party was still buzzing, the people were still drinking and celebrating Steve with multiple woo’s and pats on his back. The music was louder and it seemed like everyone was at the drunken stage at the party, escaping in couples into the woods with grins.

You and Steve got detached from each other, your arms dragged into the side of the fireplace where people danced. You quickly got caught up in it, a drink in your hand and shouting the lyrics to a song with Nancy.

“Hey!” You felt a soft tug on your shoulder.

“Have you seen Steve?” You heard Robins voice.

Your heart jumped just at the name and you shake your head. It’s always been like this.

The assumption that you and Steve knew where each other were, like a pair that never got strung away. In all the facade that you two were just close friends, you liked it. You liked how it was always you and Steve, together, like you two couldn’t navigate without each other.

You preferred it that way.

“No.” You say loudly over the music. “Is he okay?”

She nods, “Probably! I just forgot to give him his present.”

“Want me to come with you?”

“No, no it’s okay! I’ll be back!”

And with that she quickly left, her eyes buzzing behind the drinks as well.

You went back to singing and dancing with Nancy, the two of you twirling each other around and jumping across the dirt of the forest.

Your mind flashed to Steve. His eyes. His stupid floppy hair that you craved to run your fingers through. His touch. Warm and grounding. You continued dancing, losing yourself in the music and your eyes blurring those around you.

For a moment, you felt like air. All those dark thoughts at night seemed to escape you as you jumped around, screaming your lungs out.

You felt like how it did when you were happy last year. Maybe this was all you needed, being with people around you who loved you and guided you with a hand on your back. Like how he did.

Despite the dancing, the drinks running through your system, you always thought about him.

Unbeknownst to you, Steve almost physically felt his breath leave him.

He was talking to a friend he hadn’t seen in a while, when he looked towards the fire, just to see its bright orange color. And through it, it glowed and shimmered silver.

He knew it was you.

Your crazy and free dancing, with that pretty dress he couldn’t take his eyes off, with the warmest smile he’s never seen.

You were glowing.

Your hair was sticking and falling perfectly in front of your face, your feet hopping around like life was infinite. Despite all the chatter and music, he heard your laugh echo. Saw your smile finally reach your eyes.

It happened so fast that he felt his heart drop.

You were there. All this time, in front of him, all his life. A mirror into his future, into what he could’ve had if he just tried. He felt his heart break at the potential of the two of you, kissing endlessly and cuddling deep into the night.

And yet you seemed so distant at the same time, like he had your grasp for a second before you moved on. You didn’t need him anymore. You appeared happy, you were radiating, and you didn’t need his whispers of comfort.

I love her so much, he thought. But this time, he didn’t call himself stupid for feeling that way. He believed it.

His face felt hot from the gravitation of just seeing you. Beautiful, there, and he couldn’t believe he’s spent those quiet nights with you.

Steve wanted the loud ones too, like right now, with your figure shimmering under the fire- all his.

He excused himself for a moment, hands shaking when he placed his beer on the ground. He felt electric but wanted to pass out at the same time, his feet already moving with no hesitation.

Would he dance? Take your hand and spin you around, show everyone that this was real?

He got closer and closer, and the moment he grazed your shoulder, a romantic slow song came on. Great.

“Steve.” Your hushed voice made him blink, his heart stuttering when he looked down at you.

Your face was flushed and your chest rised up and down, like this was the most relief you’ve gotten in a while. He smiled at that.

“Robin’s been looking for you.” You say breathlessly. But your hands slithered around the back of his biceps and he didn’t care to move. It was so… touchy.

“S’ okay.” He says. “She’ll find me later.”

You titled your head and let out a breathy laugh- your mind already forgetting her. He was finally close to you again, your touch on his skin feeling electric.

“Dance with me.” You say.

“Are you drunk?”

“…No.”

He shakes his head with a grin, your eyes glowing like he’s never seen before. He hoped it was because of him and not the alcohol running through you.

But he was drunk too and he couldn’t help but slowly sway you back and forth, feeling too reckless to care. Your dress flowed around, your hair blew, and he felt goosebumps all over.

He fixed the strap that was slowly cascading down your shoulder.

“Having fun?” He asks, face inching closer so you only heard.

You hum in response, eyes darting back and forth to his, your lips parting and slowly lifting upwards.

“What about you, birthday boy?”

He chuckled at that. The teasing finally sounded like you, which he always enjoyed.

“Best night ever.” He responds. “Best birthday, actually.”

“I bet you got a lot of gifts.” You say so purely, “I like my gift.”

He paused for a moment at that. Because it wasn’t really about the gifts, was it? He knew deep down in his heart that he wouldn’t have thrown this party if it wasn’t for you.

You encouraged him, convinced him that everyone loved and appreciated him the same way you did. Tonight, he got to see you shine again. He got to see his best friend glow under the light of the moon and fire, meshing into one beautiful piece of art that he wished was his.

He got to fall in love with you. As blatant as it sounded, that’s what it was.

You were so broken, you could still feel it inside you, but it was healing.

The thing was, Steve loved every single chip and edge of it. Because he knew he could soften them, he knew that despite the shadows in your mind, he’d still fall back to you. A shinning girl.

After a few seconds, he said quieter, “That’s not why.”

Your lips parted at that and it was now your turn for your cheeks to turn pink. You smiled faintly, the look on your face laced with pure shyness. You always felt like that around him.

You knew exactly what he meant when he said that, and you assumed you would forget it tomorrow. But you couldn’t forget the way it made you feel.

“Yeah?” You whisper, your fingers starting to dig into his hair.

His eyes fluttered for a second. He nodded.

“Can we go somewhere quieter?” You ask.

“What?”

He leaned in closer, his hair skimming yours, and his breath buzzed. The music was too loud and your voice wasn’t.

“Let’s go somewhere quieter.” You say into his ear, glad he couldn’t see your burning face.

He blinked and his mouth opened for a second, his mind jumbling on what to say. You didn’t seem overwhelmed like you normally were in crowds, you weren’t picking at your skin and shaking.

You looked like you meant it. And looks were better than tone, in his opinion. He always knew what you wanted.

He could just see it in your eyes, the way it flickered out to the lake that was just a few minutes away. He never wanted something more.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He smiles, hand sliding down and intertwining with yours.

It was so easy with him. You’d follow him wherever he went, you thought.

Your back pressed firmly against a boulder that was planted in the dirt, eyes facing toward the glistening lake. Steve did the same.

You felt sobered out by how close Steve was.

Your shoulder brushed his in the middle of it, your hands still laced together on his lap, thumb gently tracing over your cold skin. Your knee was pressed to his but neither of you moved away. It was quiet back there, far from all the noise, only faint owls being heard.

“I’ve been thinking about you.” He says after a long time.

You blink and he knew you were too nervous to look at him.

“Yeah? About what?”

“These past few months.” He hesitates to say.

Your eyes trained to your knees that layed flat on the ground because you were familiar with those months. The restless nights where you cried yourself to sleep, the nights where you didn’t because he was there. It happened so fast, like a switch, that feeling of being down all the time and wishing some mornings didn’t come.

It was hard for you to open up to Steve, and you almost did it by accident. He was having a hard time with his parents and he came over to yours for some quiet, softness. You cried to him that night and blurted out, your words disguised by what you knew was depression. Seeing your face red like that, your body shake into his, made him forget all his problems. Holding you was enough.

“Oh.” You manage to say.

You knew he was looking at you. You could always feel when he did, which was often. Sometimes when you slept. It made you curl into a ball and melt in his arms.

“I’ve been doing better. It’s been hard but it’s.. better.”

He nods. “I know, I can see it. You look really happy tonight.”

You look at him, his pupils already dialated.

“I just- I’ve been wanting to tell you that I’m really glad it was me.” He says quietly, his fingers squeezing yours, “That you felt comfortable enough to tell me things. I know it must’ve been hard.”

You gave him a small smile. He scooted closer because he knew you were trying hard to keep it together.

You curled up closer to him because ever since you two sat down, his eyes never left you. So warm, big, hazel.

“I want you to keep doin’ that, if its happy or not. Cus I’m always here, okay?”

You took a deep breath and you felt it shake inside your stomach. Your knees pushed against your chest and you hugged his arm tightly.

“You’re my first thought, Steve.” You whisper. “Always.”

You heard his breath hitch at that, his arms tightening around you. He kissed the top of your hair, your strands tasting like smoke and pinewood. He wanted to stay in this embrace until the sun rose.

“You are too.” He says.

You take a moment to find your words again.

“I still feel sad a lot for no reason, but not all the time.” You continue, “I honestly don’t know what happened to me, it’s like… I lost myself. I don’t know why.”

He rubbed your sides up and down, feeling the sparkles and small gems on your dress. He gently squeezed your hip.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be explained at the moment. It’s just not coming to you cus it’s happening right now, and it’s okay. But when all those bad feelings go away, which they will, you’ll see it.”

You look up at him, his hair strands flopped over his face and some over his eyes. You gently pushed it back like routine.

“I hope it does.” You whisper.

“It will, I know it. I promise.”

“And I want you to be there. When that happens.. when I’m happy.”

He smiled warmly, and he felt his cheeks hurt from how much he’s smiled at you tonight. “Tonight’s been really fun.” He hears you say.

His eyes flicked to your shoulders, your neck, your eyes again.

“…It would’ve been boring if you weren’t here.”

“Your birthday party couldn’t be boring regardless.” You let out a soft laugh and he felt it against his arm.

“It for sure would’ve been boring.” He chuckles, playfully glaring his eyes. “You’re the only person I want around, if I’m being honest.”

“That so?”

“Very much so.”

You smiled and shook your head teasingly, looking back to the water. His head never turned like yours, still looking down at you, still wanting to say the words deep in his heart. His lips parted and seeing this version of you was like a piece of him sparking up again. His eyes skimmed the top of your face and he could see how your eyes fluttered at the sight of the lake.

“Let’s go swim.” He suggests.

“It’s definitely freezing.”

“You don’t wanna swim with the birthday boy?”

“It’s already the next day, Steve.” You giggle. “Can’t use that card now.”

When you turned to look at him, your eyes glowing, you saw his bottom lip tugged out into a small pout. You rolled your eyes and laughed, because you knew that he reeled you in too far. Before you could blink, he smushed a soft kiss to your forehead and jolted up- hand extended.

You took it and he pushed you up. You looked down and realized that there was no way you would go inside the water with your dress on.

“No way.” You shake your head. “I’m not going in with my dress on.”

He shrugged like it was no big deal, his hands already coming to take off his shirt and shorts, leaving him in his boxer shorts.

“Just keep your underwear on.”

“Steve!” You scoff with a shy laugh and he grinned at you.

“Oh cmon, it’s just me.” He dips his feet in the small area of water, “it’s dark anyways, I won’t see.”

You glare your eyes at him because you knew he most definitely could see. The moon was shinning brightest on its early summer days, and the fire a distance away echoed shadows.

You realized he was already ankle deep in the water and you felt a little silly for standing there, watching him. You always watched him.

Once his back was turned and he was focused on getting deeper into the water, you slowly slipped off your dress. The chill instantly hit you and you knew it was going to get worse when you got in. You tiptoed over and felt the water, and you let out a soft yelp at how cold it felt.

“Oh my god!” You shudder, “no way Steve, I don’t wanna. It’s freezing!”

You hugged yourself and you heard him chuckle. It wasn’t mocking or cocky at all, just in a way that made him smile at how pure you could be in these moments. He swam over to you, hair stuck up, his shoulders shinning in drops.

“Cmere.” He says softly, hand coming out again.

You took a deep breath and took it, his fingers icy. He firmly wrapped it around you and it felt like anything but shivers. It was genuine comfort. Vulnerability of being this exposed in front of him.

“You got it.” His voice was gentle as he slowly and slowly tugged you in, your throat hitching. “It feels better once you’re used to it.”

Goosebumps trail all over you but you still managed to get inside the water waist deep. You didn’t even realize that he never stopped holding you.

You two spent a few minutes swimming around, staying close to each other and laughing about the events of the night. And when he laughed with you, his eyes would gaze down to your lips, his ears turning pink. The two of you would just look at each other before going back to swimming, that same looking happening over and over again like a cycle.

It was stupid and so reckless, and you felt breathless but free at the same time. Almost like you never wanted to get out, never wanted to leave the sight of him under the moonlight.

“This is the stupidest idea ever.” You huff from the cold.

And when you finally emerged back from the water, he finally saw the version of you he was familiar with every night. Content with your shoulders relaxed, your makeup streaming down your face regardless of your huge smile. It was you, all over again, right in front of Steve. He wanted nothing more.

It was insanely intimate for the two of you just to dry off and say “friends”. Your hair was wet and your skin was glowing, and it was like seeing you for the first time.

He paddled just a bit closer to you and slithered his arms around your waist, tugging you closer. It was a slippery mess but he felt warm all over, your chest pressed against his and his hair pushed back by you.

Despite the cold wind hitting his exposed shoulders, he had no intent to move or let you go. He remembered the fond familiarity of being this close to you, how easily comfortable he felt even though he’s only been close to you for a few months.

His forehead brushed yours, and your hand slid behind his neck. He melted.

“You’re crazy, Steve Harrington.” You giggle, not even caring that you probably had runny mascara down your cheeks.

He pulled you closer, legs brushing yours underwater as you two stood, head tilted with a soft smile. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this much skin.

With a smirk, he said, “Mhm, and look who’s in the water.”

You rolled your eyes and he chuckled.

“…I feel so good.” You admit with a whisper.

“Like yourself again?”

You nodded.

He didn’t respond and you finally turned your head to look at him. You almost shriveled up into nothingness. His eyes were glued to your bra, to the thin lace detail that adored your chest. It was a new set, but there’s no way he’d know that, and the light pink color stood out in the darkness.

You gave him a small splash.

“I see you, perv.”

His smile returns and he splashes you back. “I like it. The lace.”

You take a moment to see it yourself, remembering the small little flower and vine patterns on it. It was pretty, and it made you feel like it too. Apparently, he agreed.

“I like it too.” You hum, “it’s a set.”

Oh god. Why did you say that? You definitely thought there was no way he’d go underwater just to see, he wouldn’t be able to anyways. That’s when you saw one of his hands splash down, holding your lower back and bringing you closer, fingers dancing across your wet skin and slowly doing down.

You felt a tug and immediately froze. He didn’t do anything bad, just simply traced his finger over the side of your underwear- shaking under the touch of the lace that clung to your skin, his knuckles just sliding under the material. You were completely breathless, eyes trained on the hair splaying all over his chest that dripped water.

“It looks.. really good on you.” He says quietly, even if it was just the two of you. Yet at the same time, scarily enough, he wanted the whole world to hear how he saw you.

“And I’m not just saying that. You really are beautiful. I mean it.”

“Steve…” You whisper because it felt like a lie.

Something that you would convince yourself while looking in the mirror, but it always fogged up and felt disgusting. And Steve was slowly leaning in.

He didn’t know how badly he wanted it.

To kiss you.

To feel you. Even if his skin was sliding against yours, it still wasn’t enough. It’s been hiding deep in his mind, in his soul, but tonight almost felt like a sign that he wasn’t making this all up.

“Believe me this time, please.”

“I try.” You whisper.

He was patient. Always. That’s something that defined Steve Harrington, that just made sense for you.

“Why do you think I took us out here? I… I want it to just be us. Always.” His voice slightly breaks, “And it’s not just because your pretty. Because you are, very pretty. You’re just- you’re you and it drives me insane… and I would stay here in the freezing cold the whole night telling you how much I like you.”

You blinked back tears, especially at his last words, because it swirled in your stomach that you felt utterly sick. And so beautiful at the same time.

He was everything you’ve ever wanted and more, like a crave that couldn’t be fulfilled no matter how many times you had it. You wanted him. But a part of you didn’t want him to want you, because your afraid of causing harm, meddling sadness into his life.

But he looked like he was ready for love, whatever that meant for you. He wanted to love you.

With his hair frazzled and already drying in the wrong places, a water drop just over his mole, eyes glossy just like yours. It looked like he meant it so dearly.

“I feel like it’s always been there.” You whisper.

He just nods because he felt that same aching numb. He whispered back.

“Me too.”

You felt your fingers start to shake against his shoulders, your head slightly twitching and your heart making your skin move. You didn’t expect to feel this sinking feeling.

You take a small inhale, stopping midway because the nerves caught up to your throat, blinking the tears away and looking down at his chest. Anything but his eyes.

“I tried to push it away so hard.” You breath out, voice squeaking.

“But why?”

“Cmon Steve.” You look up at him and you saw nothing but pure desperation on his face, your words breaking his heart more than your own.

It was so so sad.

You continue, “I’ve been in this… awful mess for months. And I- I can’t lay everything out on you. I just can’t. You don’t deserve that.”

He shakes his head with all his might. “Yes, you can. I don’t care about all that stuff, okay? I’ve been there for you before, every night, every phone call, everytime- everytime I’ve slept in your bed. And we both knew.. god, we knew. I was stupid not to have you sooner.

Small hiccups were starting to be heard from you, letting out soft cries, out of adoration for him and something else. He wiped away every single one.

He looked so handsome.

“You think it’ll ever change? No. I know it won’t. I like you so so so much.” He pleas, “you don’t deserve someone who doesn’t want to listen. But I want to listen, everytime, whatever it is.”

“I never want to bother you with my problems and I think… I’ve been holding it in for so long.” You say.

“I know you have.” He says, but not in a way to shame you. “And I’d do it over and over again, I’d sneak into your window at 2 am before you even have to call. I’d do anything for you.”

All you did was quickly nod, because with Steve, it was always the simplest task to believe him. He made it so easy, so beautiful written and said that it made you crave it deeply. Your hands clinged to his arms, nails digging into his embrace.

“Okay.” You whisper, eyes meeting his, the pure relief etched into them.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“…Good.”

It was quiet after that, his words lingering in the air and the water delicately flowing around you two. His eyes never left your face and you didn’t know where to look.

Steve was the last place.

“I like you too.” You blurt out, voice recovering. “So fucking much, Steve… it hurts. It hurts so bad.”

An ugly sob escaped you.

“Oh.” He mumbles sadly and immediately hugs you, his warmth radiating.

That night, you think you cried for 20 minutes straight, waist deep in the freezing water of Hawkins, your legs tangled with his under the surface. He kissed you everywhere, your bare shoulders, neck, everywhere that seemed tender in emotion. You didn’t realize how tense you’ve been.

He could feel how high you put your walls up and it broke his heart.

He never let go.

He whispered the sweetest words into your ear, exactly like all the other nights, but this time he was finally able to say the things he couldn’t. The words that would’ve revealed his feelings for you, the ones he locked far away. Every feature of you, everything he admired about you, your beauty. He confessed he would think about you every waken moment, collect movies for you for when you didn’t want to leave the house, make you food for when you were too sad for an appetite.

It was like he did almost everything when a boy was in love.

Along with that night, an hour passing, he finally kissed you. It was imperfectly perfect, while you two tried to get out of the lake, slipping right into his arms and landing his lips to yours.

You felt fuzzy that he never even looked down at your body when you two got out, no matter how hard the material clung to your skin. It showed you that Steve Harrington truly didn’t like you for your looks, your figure or outer personality.

It was what was really deep inside, a side for his view and what your worth truly was. The girl he got to live life with, being right there in your journey, seeing every step.

And that you were also his. Steve’s.

You two kissed for some more, passionately and clumsy, nothing else with no intention for more. You gently pulled down onto his chin so his lips parted, tilting your head and deepening the kiss.

“I’ve thought about kissing you so much.” He slowly pulls away, thumb tracing your cheekbone, “every night we were together. Everytime we hugged.. when we talked, when we layed next to each other.”

“…I would’ve kissed you back.”

His stomach flutters. “Good to know.” And he’s back to kissing you, languid and promising.

A cheer is erupted back where the bonfire was, reminding the two of you that there was an active party a few feet away.

“I’m actually gonna kick everyone out now. I didn’t even get a s’more.” He whispers against your swollen kissed lips with a pouty face.

You giggle, hair tousled and damp from his fingers digging into it.

“You made that threat before and it didn’t work.”

He smirked and tightened his arms around you, dipping his head, finding your lips with his again. You smiled against it and he returned it back.

This felt so natural it almost felt fake. With your feet on your tiptoes, his arms fitting right into yours, nose nudging his in a mind losing kiss.

He held you so gently like it’s been the first time he’s ever touched you. However this time, just maybe, it was the first time he did it with all his heart.

With so much love.

He pulled away reluctantly, lips smacking, and kissed your forehead- keeping his mouth right against your head.

“I mean it this time.” He whispers.

——

wow longest fic yet!!!

who else is also shocked, upset, surprised, idk what how to feel about SUPER SOAKER being AI?????✋✋✋✋ cus I know I am

i’m missing posting new chapters sm but just wanna say to everyone waiting so patiently + sending me inbox love: ilysm 🤍

i promise we will be sooooo back with ISF, OSWDLS, MERCY, LSTWAB && NANNY STEVE so very soon !! just been having so many farewell soirées with my friends and colleagues here in the uk before my official one-way flight next week… moving to the states, where i’ll be living with my life partner right next to my aunt, uncle & gran. 🇬🇧 -> 🇺🇸 SO MUCH CRYING THIS WEEK !! literally been blubbering like a lil’ baby 🥹🥹

for now ~ i’m soaking up my final days here, so just know you’re all on my mind :,,,)) i’m just being emo rn not wanting to miss a thing.

new readers, hi !! loyal library cardholders, be back sooooooon:)

Xx, misha

#mishas masterlists #mishaland #i see fire series #mercy series by misha #oswdls series #series: Hawkins hottest manny #steve harrington fanfic #gator tillman fanfic

dailysteveharrington

STEVE HARRINGTON IN EVERY EPISODE

1.02 The Weirdo on Maple Street

campmiasmas

JOE KEERY as STEVE HARRINGTON — STRANGER THINGS 4 | Volume 2

rhaenyratargeryen

JOE KEERY as Steve Harrington STRANGER THINGS | The Vanishing of Holly Wheeler

emziess

Joe Keery as Steve Harrington Stranger Things, S03E06

emziess

Countless gifs of Steve Harrington - 28/∞

vanessacarlysle

STRANGER THINGS: SEASON 3

themakeupbrush

John Galliano S/S 2019

chandelyer-deactivated20241003

Paolo Sebastian “The Nutcracker” fw18 collection

fangirlposts

Been thinking about these three a lot, maybe it's the heat 😅

xpeachsunsidex

would like one of each, please and thanks 🙏

earthdance

ohhhh thinking about steve in the beamer, his precious beamer. thinking about how his hands would look when drives because i know he drives so loose. there's not a tense bone in his body, he's in his element. guiding the steering wheel gingerly, not driving the car but coaxing the car. thinking about how his thighs would fall apart so naturally as his body relaxes. thinking about his huge hand wrapping around the gear shift to maneuver, thinking that if he gets real relaxed he might move his right hand to your thigh, thumb petting across your jeans, you can feel the raw heat of his palm through the denim, his other hand confidently slung over the steering wheel at 12 o'clock, fingers languid, not a care in the world, almost cocky as pushes 85 on the interstate.

today I was listening to my favorite music and it reminded me so much of isf, I think someone already pointed it out but imma say it again

so, prepare for this dissection

the cleaners are coming, one by one

(the reapers preparing to choose their tributes on every district)

you don't even want to let them start

(the shock and fear of being chosen)

They're knocking now upon your door They measure the room, they know the score

(the invasion and later the sponsors and trainers betting the lives of young kids on most to less likely to survive)

The cleaners have done their job on you

(the tributes are dressed as they need to get appeal and public approval)

They've hosed you down, you're good as new And they're lining up to inspect you

(I see such as them in the ceremony, knowing every move and expression is being observed, or the lineup as the parties and noncon using their bodies to survive this world)

poor old Jim's white as a ghost he's found the answer that we lost we're all weeping now weeping because there ain't nothing we can do to protect you

(steve realizing while he's protecting dustin as offering himself, he's not going to be there for the kids and likely not coming back)

hey little train! we are all jumping on the train that goes to the Kingdom we’re happy, ma, we’re having fun and the train ain’t even left the station

(the "Kingdom" is their death as they are going towards it and the only happiness they have is the imagination of a stolen childhood [steve, ren] and still having to protect the innocence [little ro] they have left)

I once was blind but now I see have you left a seat for me? Is that such a stretch of the imagination?

I was held in chains but now I’m free I’m hanging in there, don’t you see In this process of elimination

(this is their goodbye, but yet they still remain there, as they died in a massacre but free from the sistem once they are gone)

o children lift up your voice

children rejoice

(the start of the rebellion)

forgive us now for what we've done it started out as a bit of fun

(now as steve, ren and others have the power over their once reapers this is the only thing they can say, and yet we can realize that they still view the players and victims not as people but a entertainment and that is engraved in their minds, "but hey, they are sorry i guess...")

sorry, I had a tbi and a concussion from a fall and was in and out of consciousness for 3 days and felt a little bit closer with my buddies steve and ren and this kind of popped in my head ❤️

I love interpretating books and novels, especially the good ones like yours

stop i’m crying laughing at that gif right at the end of this post like asdfghjl—

i’m sorry but UHMMM OH MY GOD??? this song is LITERALLY ISF?? this is it?!?!?!?!? WOW???!!!! 🤯 @marie-the-muse we must must just add this to your playlist/score/soundtrack ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

pls know, anytime someone dissects any of my writing / works / series && breathes life into it through their own introspection as a reader ~ let alone, assigns music to it?? ~ that is my love language. it’s so humbling, a true honor && makes me feel so inspired to keep going.

✨ilysm you schmexy loviebug✨

#mishas masterlists #i see fire series #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #hunger games au #stranger things au #peacekeepers #The Reaping #katniss x peeta #genderbend #total role reversal #Because Steve is like Katniss and she is like Peeta

ALSO MISHA

i'm watching ER for the first time with my mum and oh my days the way it's making me think of manny steve once he's a sexy nurse gosh !!😍😍

ahhhhhhh like i’m sorry but—

you cannot tell me that nurse!steve [slash nanny!steve] isn’t the hottest man on the planet. 🩺 🩻 🏥 ❤️‍🩹 🍼 like… look at him.

#mishas masterlists #series: hawkins hottest manny #the nanny #nanny!steve #nurse!steve #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #babysitter!steve #steve the babysitter #babysitters club #Steve Harrington is a mom #scrubs life #steve harrington #er show #The ER

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