Hi, I'm Misha. Thank you for diving into my stories and supporting my writing :)
☾⋆ WELCOME TO MY VIRTUAL BOOKSHOP ⋆☾
My fanfics [+this blog] are dedicated to Steve Harrington, along with Gator Tillman. All fanfic series, one-shots, blurbs, etc. listed below are written by me. Do not repost or share anywhere without proper credit. Thank you muchly. ♡🕊️
Xx, misha
⋆ALL SERIES MASTERLISTS BELOW⋆
MY GLOSSARY TERMS
📕📗📘📙 = chapters & volumes {always included in files}
📁 / 🗂️ = author archives + story infodump file
🎧 / 📼 = soundtrack & visual themes
📚 = library shelf find
♡ All taglist requests, please get a free library card -> follow me. it truly means far, far more than a number. for me, it's a way of checking out my books at my own little virtual library and supporting my writing. <3
special thank you to the anonymous who sent this love letter
📚 SERIES MASTERLIST
-> 🗂️ (+infodump fic file above)
-> TAGLIST FULL. See disclaimer here.
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader
enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4 -> post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
🖤 A Multipart Fanfic, based on Stranger Things.
🎧 Song Inspo: "Infinite Baths" by Sleep Token
📚 SERIES MASTERLIST
-> 🗂️ (+infodump fic file above)
Gator Tillman x OC!fem!reader
A slow burn childhood friends to lovers romance — fueled by angst, dark comedy, unhinged thrill-packed action and heavy smut with even heavier plot. Inspired by and based on Fargo, gone total teenage dirtbags into trauma strong icons. 18+
🩸 A Multipart Fanfic, loosely based on FX's Fargo.
🎧 Song Inspo: "American Teenager" by Ethel Cain
📚 SERIES MASTERLIST
-> 🗂️ (+infodump fic file above)
Steve Harrington x Hopper!fem!reader
strangers to friends with benefits to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4 (into post S4), suspense and morbid humor, heavy plot-driven smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
❤️🩹 An Extended One-Shot Fic, from Misha’s Masterlist Library.
🎧 Song Inspo: "Hide" by myah & “Savior Complex” by Phoebe Bridgers
📚 SERIES MASTERLIST
-> 🗂️ (+infodump fic file above)
Steve Harrington x OC!fem!reader
hometown strangers to friends to lovers. ultra dark heavy angst and hurt/comfort. alternate universe -> upside down apocalypse. suspense, dystopian game-of-survival plot with morbid humor sprinkled along the way. eventual plot-driven angsty smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
-> cynical!mean!Steve falls for angelic!fem!reader.
A fever dream multi-crossover au inspired by Hunger Games and The Purge universes, merged with Stranger Things. 🏹
Summary: Volunteering for the kids isn't something Steve Harrington is anything but fully prepared to do, no matter what the cost. He just hadn't factored in Dustin's name being the one Effie Trinket draws on the day of the Reaping, then fighting to the death in his place alongside the Hawkins baker's daughter... who's been secretly in love with him since the fourth grade.
🕊️ A Stranger Things AU Fanfic Series from Misha’s Masterlist Library.
🎧 Song Inspo: "Comforting Sounds" by Mew
Steve Harrington x Nicole!fem!reader
Childhood friends to lovers. Sloooowburn. Angst. Romance. Smut with plot. Action. Told from second-person view, reader is Nicole (character from S1), different POV, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, pre-S1-S4, eventual post-S4 universe. 18+
📚 [PART I] | [PART II]
Summary: Steve Harrington was six years old when he met you: Nicole St. James, the girl who carries the other half of him. Since 1972, the two of you have been inseparably tethered by the soul. You give Steve a home in his big house with no parents, and he gives your introverted heart a longing for someone. The King of Hawkins High and princess of this small town, you tell each other absolutely everything...except that you are in love with each other.
Everything changes that one afternoon at school, when you catch the school's social outcast -- Jonathan Buyers -- has been stalking Steve, his posse and his girl, Nancy. Little do you both know, the monsters in your favorite fairytales are real. And you're both going to have to fight them together.
You both share the best days and worst days, through childhood and teen years, until you both find yourselves roped into the perils that exist beneath your feet in Hawkins.
But through it all, despite all the doubt, Steve knows one thing: you're there. You've always been there.
-> INCOMPLETE [not abandoned - to be continued...]
Steve Harrington x Jonathan Byers x fem!reader
Strangers to best friends to lovers. Summertime sadness slow burn. Angst, romance, smut-driven-plot and polyamory themes and schemes. Hella emo (no upside down, tho, so hurray for no end-of-the-world). 18+
A crossover au inspired by Saltburn and Call Me by Your Name.
+inspo from Joe's theater performance as Melchior in Spring Awakening
🗝️ A Multipart Fanfic, loosely based on Stranger Things.
🎧 Song Inspo: "Chateau" by Djo
Nanny!Steve Harrington x baby girl
Prior King Steve turned unpaid babysitter turned full-time nanny to a newborn baby girl. Playboy turned protector, and eventual love story when Steve meets someone who finally helps him move on from Nancy. But the real love story is the paternal love he shares with little Mia Browne. 18+
eventual nurse!Steve and Mamma Mia 2!crossover love story
🍼 SUMMARY: Turns out, the best babysitter in town isn’t the girl next door. It’s none other than Steve Harrington: former king of Hawkins High, newly certified child expert. It doesn’t hurt that he’s insanely pretty to look at. Which doesn’t go unnoticed by Mrs. Browne, who hire him on as their nanny for their newborn baby girl, per Karen Wheeler’s referral.
Steve Harrington had no clue that taking a beating from Billy Hargrove and protecting those kids in the tunnels full of demodogs… would make him go from pretty playboy to protector.
Translation? Hawkins hottest babysitter grows up by rocking six pounds of innocent little magic to sleep — and ends up completely whipped for it.
my blurbs + one-shots, collab fics and limited series
📼 “BE KIND, REWIND.” • blurb
Steve and Robin like the same girl — who just so happens to be their coworker at Family Video. Oh, and Keith’s unexpectedly super hot cousin.
requested by @mi171100
💌 LET’S SHOW THEM WE ARE BETTER • collab series
You and Steve met in the summer of '09. The two of you have been pen pals ever since. He writes you from private school back in Hawkins, while you write him from your all-girls boarding school in Massachusetts. He doesn't allow himself to know you've had a crush on him forever until he's denying his own... and then begging you to let him have you when it's already too late.
Because while you were both away at school, both your parents divorced their spouses... and confessed to an ongoing affair, now sealed with a kiss and a marriage certificate that officlally makes you both step siblings.
collab fanfic series with @keer-y
featured on -> tbr lists, reader reviews, etc.
anon librarian’s review of OSWDLS
🤍 sent anonymously
Margaux's Nightstand
♡ @margauxafterdark
Alone in the Hellfire's Fic Recs
♡ @aloneinthehellfire
Syl Says...
♡ @thecreelhouse
DOCUFICS Reviews & Fic Recs
@djocufics
Steve Writers to Read
Gwenyth’s Steve Harrington Fic Recs
Maya’s Faves: Steve Harrington Fic Recs
Writers loving Writing 💘
The Crux Hotel pamphlet reads 📖
Broke & Fab’s Review
Maya Recommends…
StrangerGirl26’s Must-Reads
🌙✨ @moonstoneandmoonlight’s Steve & Gator recs
thank you all so much for featuring my work :''')
a little glimpse into my world -> anon asks
💌 love letter #1
💌 the love letter that made me weep
💌 anon letter letter that pulled my heartstrings
💌 misha's couples (&& how she wrote their love...)
💌 hard launch with online wife -> @graywrenhart
💌 marie’s playlist for I SEE FIRE -> @marie-the-muse
gifted fan art -> from you, based on my fics
📖 Steve & Ro in the Games -> by @raspberry-sunshinee
📖 [more coming soon]
📖 [more coming soon]
my list of favorite writers -> saved to my library
some psa’s -> for anyone new and/or seeking answers:
Summary: When Steve's voice starts calling for help somewhere deep inside the Upside Down, your only instinct is to find him. That's exactly what Vecna is counting on.
Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, minors DNI, no use of y/n, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, set around the events of season 4, psychological horror, canon-typical violence, anxiety, fear, fluff (lmk if i missed anything)
W/C: 8.3k
A/N: this one is HEAVILY inspired by a recent rewatch of hunger games: catching fire, specifically the scene with the jabberjays. this fic has been sat in my drafts, half-written, since, honestly, about march. i finally got round to finishing it this evening, and i feel incredibly proud of it. also probably not canon-accurate in any way, but we can all pretend. enjoy <3
Read more of my writing here: [masterlist]
If you want to be added to my taglist, leave a comment to lmk!
The Upside Down is quieter than it has any right to be.
Not silent - never silent - but subdued in a way that feels almost expectant, as though the whole landscape is listening rather than breathing. Ash drifts lazily through the air, settling in your hair, your eyelashes, the shoulders of your jacket, while every now and then something groans somewhere overhead, the sound echoing through the skeletal remains of Hawkins before disappearing into the endless red-grey haze. Every shadow seems to linger a fraction longer than it should. Every abandoned house feels as though it's watching you back.
Nobody speaks unless they have to anymore. After everything that's happened over the past few years, you've all learnt that unnecessary noise rarely ends well in this place.
The six of you move carefully along what used to be a residential street, flashlights sweeping slowly across abandoned cars, collapsed fences and gardens swallowed whole by impossible roots. Your boots crunch through brittle leaves that never seem to decay, disturbing clouds of pale spores that drift lazily back towards the ground as though gravity itself behaves differently here. Somewhere nearby, something creaks - a long, drawn-out noise that could just as easily be an old house settling as something waking up - and without thinking, the entire group pauses for half a second before continuing on.
Nancy walks at the front, shotgun resting across one shoulder as she periodically unfolds the increasingly battered map tucked into her jacket pocket, comparing hastily scribbled landmarks against the warped streets around you. Robin stays close enough to mutter the occasional nervous observation whenever the silence starts pressing too heavily against her chest, her voice never quite loud enough to carry beyond the group. You fall into step just behind them, while Lucas and Max keep pace a few feet back and Mike brings up the rear, glancing over his shoulder often enough that it's obvious none of you are particularly comfortable being separated.
Splitting into two groups had been necessary.
Nobody had liked it.
Least of all, Steve.
Even now, you can still picture the expression he'd worn before you'd gone your separate ways, bat slung over one shoulder, jaw set so tightly you'd thought he might crack a tooth. Every instinct he possessed had been arguing against leaving you somewhere he couldn't immediately reach, and it had taken Nancy reminding him - twice - that covering more ground was the only way this plan stood a chance of working before he'd reluctantly given in.
"Yeah," he'd muttered, still unconvinced. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."
You'd smiled despite yourself, reaching across to squeeze his hand through the fingerless leather glove he refused to throw away, reminding him that if anyone in Hawkins knew how to survive the Upside Down by now, it was probably the woman standing in front of him.
That hadn't impressed him nearly as much as you'd hoped.
Instead, he'd simply sighed, stepped closer, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Dustin wasn't looking, and pressed a quick kiss against your forehead.
"Be careful."
"Always am."
"Liar."
You'd laughed, nudged his shoulder, and watched him disappear into the crimson mist with Dustin, Jonathan, Eddie, Will and Eleven until the trees had swallowed them completely.
The memory still tugs at the corner of your mouth.
Until-
"...Hey."
The smile disappears instantly.
You stop so abruptly Robin almost walks straight into your back.
"What?" she asks, steadying herself with a hand against your shoulder.
You don't answer.
Your head turns slowly towards the trees to your left, every muscle in your body suddenly taut.
It isn't loud.
If anything, it's strangely distant, the sound drifting through the dead forest like smoke on the wind. For a heartbeat there's nothing else - only the soft hiss of spores falling through bare branches and the faint crackle of your flashlight.
Then it comes again.
"Hey!"
Closer this time.
Urgent.
"I'm over here!"
Your stomach drops so violently it almost hurts.
You would know that voice anywhere.
"Steve?"
The name leaves your mouth before you've consciously decided to say it.
Nancy's head snaps around immediately. "What?"
Before you can answer, the voice comes again.
"Honey."
The nickname punches the air from your lungs.
Nobody else calls you that.
Not Robin. Not Nancy. Not your parents.
Only Steve.
"Honey!"
There's something beneath it now that wasn't there before.
Fear.
Not the loud, frantic kind, but the tight, restrained panic of somebody desperately trying to keep themselves together. The kind of fear that makes your own pulse spike before you've even had time to think.
"I can't-"
The sentence breaks apart abruptly, swallowed by the trees.
Your heart lurches into your throat.
"Steve?!" you shout, already stepping forward. "Steve, where are you?!"
For a moment, the world answers with nothing.
Not even the ordinary silence of the Upside Down, but something heavier, stranger, as though the entire landscape has paused to listen.
Then, impossibly, the voice comes again.
Closer.
Close enough that you instinctively turn your head.
"Come find me..."
The words catch on a ragged breath before the final one arrives, quiet enough to almost disappear beneath the drifting ash.
"...Please."
Everything inside you seizes.
You've heard Steve angry before. Exhausted. Bleeding. Terrified enough to stand between monsters and children with nothing but a baseball bat clutched in white knuckles.
But you've almost never heard him sound helpless.
You don't think.
You run.
The forest surges towards you as your boots hammer across uneven ground, branches clawing at your sleeves while ash billows around your legs. Somewhere behind you, Nancy shouts your name, followed almost immediately by Robin yelling, "Wait!" but neither voice properly registers. Steve sounds hurt. Steve sounds alone. Steve needs you, and every instinct you possess drowns beneath that single overwhelming certainty.
"Steve!" you yell back, your voice tearing through the trees. "Steve, where are you?"
Nothing.
Then-
"Honey!"
Further ahead now.
You change direction immediately, scrambling over the twisted roots that split the road apart. He sounds closer this time. You can get to him. You just have to keep moving.
Behind you, Nancy's voice grows sharper.
"Wait!"
This time she's running too.
Robin isn't far behind, crashing through the undergrowth in your wake, and neither of them is trying to stop you anymore.
They're following. Because they'd heard him too.
Somewhere further back, confusion suddenly erupts.
"Wait - what's happening?" Mike calls.
"What are you doing?" Lucas shouts, his voice carrying faintly between the trees.
Max's follows a heartbeat later. "Guys?"
You never hear the answer.
The forest swallows their voices almost immediately, leaving only the pounding of your own heartbeat in your ears, your breathing growing harsher with every step, and somewhere ahead, drifting through the ash like a lifeline you can't bear to lose...
Steve.
Calling your name.
Nancy doesn't waste a second.
The moment you're swallowed by the trees, she snatches the walkie-talkie from her belt without breaking stride, thumbing the transmit button as she runs, branches whipping against her sleeves and catching in her hair while Robin struggles to keep pace beside her. Both of them are still searching desperately through the dead woodland for any glimpse of your torchlight, but you're already disappearing deeper into the crimson mist, moving far faster than either of them can hope to match.
"Dustin," Nancy says sharply, breathing hard between each word. "Dustin, come in."
For one agonising second, only static answers her, the familiar crackle hissing through the speaker loud enough to make her grip tighten instinctively around the radio. Robin glances sideways, her expression caught somewhere between confusion and fear, before Dustin's voice finally bursts through the interference.
"Nancy?" he says, sounding perfectly ordinary. "You guys okay?"
"No." Nancy doesn't even attempt to soften the answer. "Where's Steve?"
There's a pause.
"...What?"
"Dustin." Her voice is tighter now. "Where is Steve?"
Another beat passes before Dustin replies, and this time the confusion in his voice is unmistakable.
"...Uh..."
The radio crackles again.
"...He's here."
Nancy almost stumbles over an exposed root. "What?"
"I said he's here."
Robin's head snaps sharply towards her, eyes already widening as Nancy presses the walkie harder against her ear, convinced she'd simply misheard. "What do you mean he's there?"
"I mean..." Dustin sounds genuinely baffled now. "...he's standing right next to me."
There's the muffled sound of movement, someone taking the radio, and then Steve's voice comes through the speaker.
"Nance?"
The blood drains from Nancy's face.
"...What's going on?"
She stops so abruptly Robin nearly crashes into her shoulder before managing to catch herself, both of them standing motionless amongst the twisted trees as the impossible settles between them. For a long moment neither woman says anything, because the voice coming through the walkie is calm, confused, completely steady. It bears absolutely no resemblance to the terrified voice that had been echoing through the forest less than a minute ago.
"...Steve?" Nancy manages eventually.
"Yeah?"
"...Are you okay?"
"...Yeah."
"You sure?"
Steve lets out a small, bewildered laugh. "I mean... considering where we are? Sure enough."
Nancy looks at Robin. Robin looks back. Neither of them says it aloud, but they both reach the same impossible conclusion at exactly the same time.
Robin leans towards the radio first.
"...Steve." Her voice comes out far quieter than she'd intended. "...We just heard you."
Silence.
Nancy forces herself to continue. "You were yelling for help. You kept calling out and..." Her throat tightens painfully as she glances in the direction you'd disappeared. "...and she ran after you."
Another silence follows, longer this time, until Dustin finally breaks it.
"...What?"
Steve sounds equally lost. "...What yelling?"
Nancy can hear her own heartbeat now, loud enough that it almost drowns out the radio. "You were calling her name."
"I wasn't."
"You said-"
"I never said anything."
There's no hesitation in the reply. No uncertainty. No searching through his memory to make sure he hasn't forgotten. Steve says it with the absolute certainty of someone stating an indisputable fact.
"I never yelled."
The words settle over both groups like falling ash.
Nobody speaks.
Not Nancy. Not Robin. Not Dustin.
Even the radio seems to fall silent.
It is Robin who finally whispers the question none of them wants to ask.
"...Then who did we hear?"
Nobody has the chance to answer.
Very faintly, through the crackling speaker, another voice reaches the other group.
"Jonathan!"
Jonathan's head jerks upright on the other end of the radio. "Nancy?"
Again.
Closer this time.
"Jonathan!"
Jonathan is already moving before anyone can stop him.
"Nancy!" he shouts instinctively into the darkness. "Where are you?"
"No!" Nancy's voice tears through the walkie. "Jonathan, wait!"
He freezes mid-step.
"It's not me!"
The forest falls deathly quiet.
Jonathan lowers his flashlight by fractions, his eyes never leaving the darkness ahead, while beside him Steve has gone completely still, every muscle in his body suddenly taut.
Then the voice comes again.
"Jonathan..."
It sounds closer now.
More desperate.
"...Please."
Jonathan's face empties of colour.
"...That's..."
The sentence dies unfinished.
Chaos erupts almost immediately afterwards. Questions crash into one another from every direction, nobody waiting long enough for an answer before another voice cuts across it.
"What the hell is that?"
"How is it doing that?"
"It sounded exactly like-"
"Jonathan, don't move!"
"Steve, wait-"
Because Steve has already taken a step towards the sound.
Just one. Instinctive. Automatic. The sort of step you don't realise you've taken until somebody points it out.
Will's voice is so quiet at first that nobody hears him.
"...It's learning."
The panic rolls straight over the top of him. The radio continues crackling with overlapping voices while Steve stares into the trees, every instinct screaming at him to run after Jonathan before it's too late.
Will looks up.
"...Guys."
Still nobody listens.
Then, louder this time-
"It's learning!"
Everything stops.
Even Steve.
Will has gone frighteningly pale, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond the trees as though he's finally recognised a pattern that's been sitting just beyond reach this whole time.
"It isn't just copying us."
Nobody interrupts him. Nobody even breathes.
"It's finding the voices we'll follow."
The words settle over the group with all the weight of a death sentence.
Steve feels something cold slide slowly down his spine as every conversation he's ever had in this place suddenly replays itself in his mind. Every frantic shout across a battlefield. Every nickname. Every desperate search through the dark. Every time someone had called Robin, Dustin, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie, Max... every time somebody had shouted his own name, or called you Honey across a room without thinking.
The Upside Down had heard it all.
It had listened.
And somewhere, somehow, it had remembered.
Not simply the sounds of their voices, but the relationships behind them. The people those voices belonged to. The ones each of them would instinctively run towards without stopping to think.
It wasn't imitating them.
It was studying them.
The realisation lands with such force that Steve feels physically winded.
His head snaps towards the walkie.
"...Where is she?"
Nancy and Robin don't answer immediately. Instead they look at one another, horror spreading slowly across both their faces as they finally understand what had just happened. Robin is the one who finds her voice first, though it barely rises above a whisper.
"...She went after the voice."
Steve doesn't wait for another word.
He tears into the trees at a sprint, Dustin and Jonathan following without hesitation while Eddie, Will and Eleven race after them. Behind him, Nancy forces herself back into motion as well, raising the walkie while she runs.
"East," she says breathlessly. "She headed east, towards the old woods. She thought..." Her voice catches for the briefest moment before she forces the words out. "...she thought she was coming to you."
Steve doesn't answer.
He can't.
Because only one thought is repeating over and over in his head now, louder than his own footsteps, louder than the pounding of his heart, louder than the forest rushing past him.
It knew you'd come.
Steve is moving before Nancy has even finished giving the direction.
"...East-"
It's the only word he hears.
His boots are already pounding across broken tarmac before his mind has caught up with the decision, the walkie still crackling uselessly somewhere behind him as Eddie swears, Jonathan shouts something he doesn't quite catch, and somebody - maybe Dustin - is barking for everyone to stay together. It barely registers. As far as Steve is concerned, he is staying together. You're out there somewhere, alone in a place that has just learnt exactly how to separate people from the ones they love, and everything else falls away beneath that single, brutal certainty. The plan, the map Nancy had spent hours drawing, the routes they'd carefully agreed to follow, even Vecna himself - all of it is pushed aside by one overwhelming instinct. You are alone, and he has to get to you.
He tears through the dead woodland without slowing, branches whipping violently across his face and shoulders, leaving thin scratches he doesn't even feel as they catch against his jacket. Thick vines snake across the forest floor, looping around his boots often enough that he nearly loses his footing twice, while ash swirls through the beam of his flashlight so densely that the trees seem to dissolve into shifting silhouettes before reforming again.
Every movement in the corner of his vision demands a second glance he doesn't have time to give. Every twisted trunk looks like somebody standing just beyond the light until he gets close enough to realise it's only another dead tree.
"Honey!"
His voice tears through the forest, louder than he intends, echoing strangely through the endless stillness before disappearing into the red-grey haze.
Nothing.
He doesn't hesitate.
"Honey!"
Again, only silence answers him. Not true silence - the Upside Down is never truly silent - but the slow groan of old trees, the distant crackle of vines shifting somewhere beyond the flashlight beam, the soft hiss of ash drifting endlessly from a sky that has forgotten what daylight looks like.
Less than two minutes ago, something in this place had been shouting your name over and over again, loud enough to pull you halfway across the forest without a second thought.
Now...
Nothing.
The silence feels deliberate somehow, as though the Upside Down has already said everything it needed to say.
Steve runs harder.
He can hear the others crashing through the undergrowth somewhere behind him, Dustin already beginning to fall behind while Jonathan stubbornly refuses to let him disappear entirely from sight, but they're little more than background noise now.
His own heartbeat pounds so violently against his ribs that it drowns almost everything else out, each breath burning harder than the last as one thought repeats over and over with desperate, unbearable simplicity.
Please answer.
Please.
Please-
A scream tears through the forest.
Steve stops breathing.
It isn't his name.
It isn't even words.
It's one raw, involuntary cry, ripped straight from somebody's chest before cutting off so abruptly it feels as though the air itself has been stolen away mid-breath.
His stomach drops.
Not because he recognises the voice, though he does immediately.
Because he recognises the fear.
The voices that had lured you away had been almost unnervingly perfect. They'd sounded exactly like him, exactly like Nancy, every sentence carefully chosen, every plea just convincing enough to override reason. Looking back, they were almost too perfect, polished in a way real panic never is.
This...
This isn't like that.
This scream isn't performed.
It isn't trying to imitate terror.
It is terror.
"Hurry!" he shouts to the others behind him, though he barely realises the words have left his mouth.
He changes direction instantly, boots skidding across loose earth as he throws himself towards the sound with reckless desperation. Branches claw at his sleeves, vines wrap around his ankles, ash blinds him for a heartbeat at a time, but none of it is enough to slow him down. Every instinct in his body is screaming that he is running out of time, and he pushes harder, lungs burning, muscles protesting, the forest seeming to resist every step as though it doesn't want him reaching you.
Then, without warning, the trees fall away.
Steve bursts into the clearing so fast he almost loses his footing entirely, stopping so abruptly that Dustin crashes into his back a second later before Jonathan catches them both.
Nobody moves.
Nobody speaks.
Even the forest seems to hold its breath.
You're suspended several feet above the ground.
Your head is thrown back so far it looks painful, your eyes rolled white beneath half-closed lids, arms drifting slowly outwards as though invisible hands are pulling them wider inch by inch. Your feet hang limp beneath you, toes barely disturbing the ash swirling below, while your fingers twitch and curl into impossible, unnatural shapes that Steve has seen once before and prayed he'd never have to witness again.
His mind doesn't even need a second to make the connection.
Another girl.
Another impossible choice.
Another body floating helplessly beneath a blood-red sky.
Max.
"Oh, God..."
The words escape him before he realises he's spoken them.
Everything inside him turns to ice.
No.
No.
God, no.
He's too late.
By the time Nancy reaches the clearing, Robin is only a step behind her, Lucas and Mike close on their heels, all of them arriving breathless enough that the sight before them steals what little air they had left.
Dustin reaches for Steve's arm instinctively, fingers wrapping around his sleeve before he even seems to realise he's done it, while Robin says your name just once, so quietly it barely sounds like a word at all. It comes out as disbelief more than anything else, as though saying it aloud might somehow make what she's looking at impossible. Lucas swears under his breath, a sharp, horrified sound swallowed almost immediately by the dead forest, and Nancy doesn't waste a second. Panic has always made her practical. She's already scanning the clearing, already looking for an answer, already searching for something - anything - they can still do.
Everyone is talking at once.
"What do we do?"
"Get her down!"
"El-"
"Steve!"
"The music-"
The voices blur together into meaningless noise. Steve hears them, but they never quite become words. His entire world has narrowed to the impossible image hanging in front of him.
To you.
Your head is still thrown back unnaturally, your body suspended several feet above the ash-covered ground, but then he notices something that turns his blood to ice.
Your lips are moving.
Slowly.
Almost conversationally.
As though you're talking to somebody standing right in front of you.
No sound comes out.
For one terrible, endless moment, Steve feels completely useless.
He has always known what to do. Swing the bat. Get between the monster and the kids. Buy everybody enough time to run. Keep moving until the danger passes. Even when he was terrified, there had always been something practical to hold onto, some action that made fear feel manageable.
Now...
There is nothing.
He takes one step forward, instinctively positioning himself beneath you before stopping again, his hands lifting helplessly as though he might somehow be able to catch you despite the impossible distance between you. Every instinct tells him to reach for you, to pull you back, to fix this somehow, but he can't even touch you.
His gaze flicks desperately towards Eleven, searching her face for reassurance she doesn't have, and for the first time since this nightmare began, he realises he genuinely has no idea what he's supposed to do.
Then something clicks.
The backpack. His backpack.
Before anyone can even finish shouting over one another, Steve is already dropping to his knees, wrenching the zip open with shaking hands and throwing supplies blindly into the ash as he searches. Flashlights. Rope. Spare batteries. Bandages. Everything he'd packed because somebody might need it. Dustin starts to ask what he's doing, but Steve barely hears him.
His fingers close around cold plastic.
The Walkman.
Hidden beneath spare ammunition and first-aid supplies is the cassette he'd tucked away weeks ago without ever mentioning it to you, your favourite album carefully rewound and ready to play.
He'd packed it after Max. Quietly. Secretly. Not because he'd expected to use it, but because the idea of ever standing helplessly beside another person he loved without at least trying had become unbearable.
Of course he'd brought it.
Of course he had.
Somewhere else, somewhere that doesn't feel like a place so much as a memory that's forgotten how to end, you are running.
The world around you is wrong in ways your mind can't quite untangle. Streets fold into childhood bedrooms, school corridors open into empty forests, and every familiar place seems to shift the moment you look away from it, rearranging itself into something almost recognisable before slipping just beyond understanding again.
Faces appear in the distance - people you love, people you've known your whole life - but something about them feels subtly, nauseatingly off. Their smiles linger too long. Their eyes don't quite meet yours. Their voices sound as though they're being remembered by someone who has never actually spoken to them.
Ahead of you, Steve appears between two dead trees.
He smiles.
He lifts a hand.
"Come here."
Relief floods through you so suddenly your legs almost buckle.
You take one step-
The image tears apart like paper caught in a fire.
The smile vanishes.
The trees dissolve into darkness.
And from somewhere beyond the endless red horizon, something begins to move.
Vecna emerges slowly, impossibly tall against the crimson landscape, each measured step echoing through the empty expanse until the sound seems to come from every direction at once.
He doesn't hurry. He doesn't need to.
One grotesquely elongated hand stretches towards you, fingers unfurling with terrifying patience, while his voice settles around you like smoke.
"You've always been so willing to follow."
You stumble backwards.
He keeps coming.
"There was never any question."
His hand reaches your face.
Long fingers press gently against your temple.
Your vision whites out.
Back in the Upside Down, your body jerks violently.
Robin gasps.
Steve looks up just in time to see you rise higher, another few feet lifting you into the air until you're suspended almost twelve feet above the ground, your arms beginning to spread wider as though invisible vines are pulling every joint apart one careful inch at a time.
The cassette clicks into place.
Music erupts from the tiny portable speaker, far too small for a clearing this large, the sound fighting desperately against the endless groan of the Upside Down.
Nothing happens.
Steve turns the volume higher.
Still nothing.
It can't have been more than a minute.
It feels like hours.
He stares up at you, desperately searching for any sign that you've heard it - that your fingers twitched differently, that your breathing changed, that something, anything, reached you - but your expression never changes.
Around him, nobody says it aloud.
Nobody has to.
They're all thinking exactly the same thing.
They're losing you.
Inside the vision, everything begins to unravel.
Your memories spill around you in broken fragments, recognisable enough to hurt but twisted just enough to become unbearable.
Steve turns away from you without looking back.
Robin laughs as she walks past, pretending not to know your name.
Empty rooms stretch endlessly before you, years of your life collapsing into quiet apartments where nobody ever comes to visit, birthdays forgotten, phone calls unanswered, photographs fading one by one until every face disappears.
You try to run.
The world doesn't let you.
Invisible vines wrap themselves tighter around your ribs every time you struggle, stealing each breath before it can properly fill your lungs.
"I told you," Vecna's voice murmurs somewhere behind you, everywhere at once. "Nobody ever loved you."
The memory changes.
Steve smiles sadly.
"I just felt sorry for you."
Another.
You watch your own funeral.
Nobody cries.
"The others will barely notice you're gone."
"No..." you whisper.
"They'll move on."
"No!"
You fight harder now, twisting violently against restraints you still can't see, tears streaming freely down your face as panic overtakes reason.
Nothing works.
Every desperate movement only seems to tighten whatever is holding you in place, until your screams barely escape your throat at all.
This is it.
You're never getting out.
And somehow, impossibly, the worst part isn't even that you're about to die.
It's Steve.
You heard him.
He sounded terrified.
He needed you.
You never reached him.
As another tear slips down your cheek, all you can do is pray that wherever he is, whatever found him, he made it out.
Please let him be okay.
Please let him survive this.
Even if you don't.
Suddenly-
another voice.
So quiet at first you almost mistake it for another trick.
"...Hey."
Not Vecna.
Steve.
Real Steve.
It barely reaches you, no louder than a memory, but you'd know that voice anywhere.
Vecna's words continue, louder now, trying to drown it out, but Steve keeps speaking anyway, his voice weaving itself carefully through every lie.
"Remember Family Video?"
The darkness flickers.
"The day I asked you out? You spilt that whole thing of popcorn all over the floor, then looked me dead in the eye and tried to convince me it'd already been there before you got there. You were so serious about it, I almost believed you."
Another memory.
Your first date.
"Remember when I tried so hard to impress you that I spent twenty minutes pretending I knew what I was talking about, and then you asked one follow-up question and I had to admit I'd completely made it up? You laughed so hard you nearly fell off the bench. I thought I'd ruined the whole date. You told me afterwards it was the moment you actually started liking me."
The first time he'd kissed you.
"Do you remember our first kiss? I kept saying goodnight and then not leaving. I think I said it three times. You finally laughed and told me, 'Steve, either kiss me or go home.' So I kissed you… And then I still stood there for another five minutes because I didn't actually want to leave."
The first time he'd laughed so hard he'd nearly fallen off the bonnet of his car.
"Remember when we stayed in the Family Video parking lot for almost two hours after my shift because we kept saying, 'Okay, one more story,' and then neither of us ever left? You got halfway through telling me about the weird dream you'd had where Robin somehow became President, and you were doing all the voices. I laughed so hard I nearly fell straight off the bonnet of the car. You laughed because I was laughing, and neither of us could stop."
Every story arrives exactly as it happened, warm and ordinary and completely, stubbornly true.
Vecna's voice rises in fury.
Steve's doesn't.
It just keeps talking.
Keeps reminding you.
Keeps loving you loudly enough to be heard.
The vines around your wrists loosen.
Only slightly.
But enough.
You pull.
They give.
Suddenly you're falling forward onto solid ground instead of hanging helplessly in the endless red expanse, and for the first time since this nightmare began you can see it.
A tear in the darkness.
Beyond it-
the clearing.
Your own body suspended in the air.
Nancy.
Robin.
Max.
Everyone looking up at you in horror.
And directly beneath you...
Steve.
His face is streaked with ash and panic, his mouth still moving as he tells another story, another memory, another reason to come back.
You can hear him now.
Perfectly.
Each word grows louder as you begin to run towards him, the impossible distance between you shrinking with every desperate step across the crimson landscape. He's reaching for you, even though he can't possibly touch you from where he stands, and somehow you know exactly where the gap in this red hellscape leads.
You're almost there.
Close enough to see the tears in his eyes.
Close enough to hear him say your name.
Close enough that if you just keep running-
For one suspended, impossible heartbeat, nothing happens.
Then your body drops.
There isn't a graceful descent, no slow drifting back towards the earth. One moment you're hanging impossibly high above them, the next the invisible force holding you gives way entirely, and you plummet towards the ash-covered ground.
Steve is already moving.
He catches you before you can hit the forest floor, the force of your body slamming into his hard enough to send him stumbling backwards. His knees buckle beneath the impact, Dustin grabbing his shoulder just in time to stop both of you crashing into the roots behind him, but Steve barely notices. He's already wrapping both arms around you, pulling you instinctively against his chest as though he can somehow shield you from whatever has just happened simply by refusing to let go.
"Hey, hey, hey..." His voice is shaking so badly he barely recognises it as his own. "I've got you. I've got you."
He lowers you both gently to the ground, pulling you into the safety of his lap.
You don't answer.
Not immediately.
Your body is trembling violently in his arms, each breath catching somewhere high in your chest before dissolving into another sob, your eyes squeezed shut as though opening them might drag you straight back into whatever nightmare you've just escaped. Steve's heart lurches into his throat.
His other hand cups your jaw instead, carefully tilting your face towards him just enough to check your pupils, his thumb brushing absent-mindedly across the tears still clinging to your cheek.
"Hey."
Nothing.
"Honey."
His voice breaks completely on the nickname.
"Come on."
Your eyelashes flutter.
Then, slowly, your eyes open.
They don't focus immediately. They dart frantically around the clearing, pupils wide with panic, as though you're still trying to work out which world you're standing in. For a terrifying second, Steve isn't sure you recognise him at all.
Then your gaze catches his.
Relief floods across your face so suddenly it almost hurts to look at.
Your fingers seize handfuls of his jacket before he can say another word, clutching the fabric with desperate, shaking hands.
"Steve."
"I'm here."
"What..." Your voice catches painfully. "Why were you screaming?"
Steve freezes.
"I heard you." The words tumble out faster now, tripping over one another as tears continue spilling unchecked down your face. "You sounded scared. You kept calling me and I- I tried to find you, but..." You shake your head hard, still gripping him so tightly he can feel your hands trembling through the denim. "Are you hurt? What happened? Where were you? Steve..."
Every question lands like a punch to the ribs.
You still think you were trying to save him.
You have absolutely no idea what really happened.
Steve opens his mouth.
He almost tells you.
Almost explains the voices, the mimicry, the impossible horror of hearing himself call your name while standing half a mile away. He almost tells you how close he'd come to losing you, how he'd watched you floating beneath that ruined sky exactly the way Max had, how for one unbearable moment he'd genuinely believed this was the last time he'd ever hold you.
Then he really looks at you.
You're shaking so violently your teeth chatter between words. Every breath is too quick, too shallow, your chest rising and falling in uneven bursts that never quite seem to fill your lungs. Even now, even after everything, your hands are moving over him in frantic little checks, brushing across his shoulders, his face, his arms, searching desperately for injuries that aren't there.
You're still trying to make sure he's okay.
This isn't the moment for explanations.
What you need isn't the truth.
You need certainty.
Without saying another word, Steve slides one hand gently to the back of your head and pulls you against him, his other arm wrapping securely around your shoulders until there's barely any space left between you. He can feel your heartbeat hammering wildly against his chest, completely out of rhythm with his own, and so he simply holds you there, one hand stroking slowly through your hair as though reminding you, over and over again, that he's solid.
Real.
Alive.
"I'm here," he murmurs quietly, resting his forehead against yours. "You're okay."
You shake your head weakly.
"No, but-"
"I'm here."
"I thought-"
"I know."
"I couldn't get to you."
"You don't have to."
His voice is impossibly gentle now, every word spoken with the same quiet certainty.
"I'm here, baby. I'm not hurt. I promise."
Another sob catches somewhere deep inside your chest.
"I'll explain everything when we get out of here, okay?"
He waits until your eyes find his again before continuing.
"But right now..." His thumb brushes carefully beneath your eye, wiping away another tear before it has the chance to fall. "...I've got you."
Your breathing catches.
Then, slowly, almost without either of you noticing, it begins to change.
One shaky breath.
Then another.
Steve doesn't ask you to breathe with him. He simply breathes himself, slow and steady, holding you close enough that your body has something solid to follow. Gradually, almost imperceptibly, the frantic rhythm of your breathing begins to match his own, each inhale a little deeper than the last until your shoulders stop shaking quite so violently.
Only then does Steve finally lift his head.
Over your shoulder, the rest of the group stand scattered around the clearing in complete silence.
Nobody speaks.
Robin's hands are still clasped tightly over her mouth. Dustin has gone unnaturally pale. Eddie stares fixedly at the place where you'd been hanging only moments before, while Nancy slowly lowers the shotgun she'd forgotten she was still holding. Even Eleven, exhausted as she is, looks quietly shaken.
None of them need to say what they're all thinking.
The Upside Down hadn't almost fooled them.
It had almost taken you.
And for one unbearable moment...
it very nearly succeeded.
By the time you all make it back to Hawkins, the adrenaline has long since burnt itself out, leaving behind only the kind of exhaustion that settles somewhere deeper than your bones.
Nobody feels much like talking.
The drive back is almost entirely silent, broken only by the occasional crackle of the radio somebody had forgotten to switch off and Robin quietly asking if anyone wants to stop for food before immediately deciding she isn't actually hungry after all.
You end up back at Steve's house.
Somebody makes tea. Somebody else disappears upstairs and comes back with blankets that don't quite match. Dustin spends five solid minutes insisting he isn't tired before promptly falling asleep in the armchair with his head tipped awkwardly against the cushions. Jonathan and Nancy sit shoulder to shoulder on the opposite sofa without saying much of anything, content simply to exist in the same room now that they're all accounted for.
Relief, it turns out, isn't loud. It doesn't arrive with celebration or triumphant laughter. It arrives softly, in mugs of tea gone cold before anyone remembers to drink them, in blankets tucked carefully around shaking shoulders, in the quiet reassurance of counting heads every few minutes and finding that everyone is still there.
You're lying along Steve's sofa, a blanket pulled loosely over you despite the warmth of the room, your eyes half-closed with exhaustion.
Every muscle aches. Your head feels heavy, your thoughts slower than usual, as though some part of you is still trying to find its way back from wherever Vecna had taken you.
Steve hasn't left your side once.
He's sitting on the floor beside the sofa, his shoulder resting lightly against the cushions, one hand absently cradling the back of your head where it hangs over the armrest, his thumb brushing slow, absent-minded circles through your hair every now and then as though reassuring himself that you're still solid beneath his fingertips.
He waits.
Not because he's unsure whether to ask, but because he's spent the last hour watching you slowly return to yourself, and he isn't willing to rush whatever fragile peace has finally settled over the room.
Eventually, when everyone else's conversations have faded into comfortable background noise, he speaks so quietly you're almost convinced you've imagined it.
"...Can I ask you something?"
You turn your head just enough to look at him and give the smallest nod.
He hesitates for a moment, eyes dropping to where his hand still rests against your hair before he quietly asks, "...What exactly did it sound like?"
You know immediately what he means.
"The voice?"
Steve nods once.
"It sounded like..." You swallow. "...You."
He smiles sadly, shaking his head almost before you've finished.
"No." His voice is gentle. "Not who it sounded like."
A beat passes.
"...What did it say?"
You frown.
At first, all you can remember is the panic. The fear. The overwhelming certainty that Steve was somewhere ahead of you, frightened and alone. The details blur together, slipping through your fingers every time you try to hold onto them.
Then, slowly, one sentence surfaces.
Your expression changes.
"...It said..." You stop, hearing it again exactly as you had in the forest.
"'Come find me.'"
The room falls quiet.
Steve doesn't answer straight away.
Instead, he looks down at the floor between you for a long moment, his brow furrowing almost imperceptibly as something clicks into place.
You see it happen.
The same realisation finds you a heartbeat later.
"...You'd never say that."
Steve looks back up. "... No. I wouldn't."
You keep turning the memory over in your mind, examining it from every angle now that you know it wasn't real, and suddenly the whole thing feels obvious in a way it hadn't before.
"You'd tell me to stay where I was."
Another slow nod.
"Yeah."
Silence settles between you again.
Then, almost as an afterthought, he quietly adds, "...Or I'd come to you."
You stare at him.
Because he's right.
Of course he's right.
If it had been true - if Steve had genuinely been lost somewhere in the Upside Down, terrified and unable to reach you - he would never have asked you to run blindly towards him. He'd have told you to stay put. To hide. To wait. He'd have found a way to reach you himself, even if it meant walking straight back into danger.
The voice had been perfect.
Every inflexion. Every hesitation. Every tiny detail that made it unmistakably Steve.
But it had made one fatal mistake.
It had copied his voice.
Not his heart.
You let out a shaky breath, something between a laugh and a sob.
"It knew how you sounded," you murmur, more to yourself than anyone else. "It just... didn't know you."
Steve's expression softens.
"No," he agrees quietly. "It didn't."
Because that's who Steve is.
The Upside Down had understood your fear. It had understood your memories, your instincts, the people whose voices would make you run without thinking. But it had failed to understand something much simpler, and much harder to imitate.
Steve Harrington has never asked the people he loves to walk into danger for him.
He goes first.
Always has.
Always will.
For a long while, nobody says anything.
The house settles into one of those rare silences that only follows genuine fear, where nobody quite trusts themselves to speak because doing so would mean acknowledging how close they'd all come to losing someone.
The mugs of tea on the coffee table have long since gone cold, and outside, somewhere beyond the curtains, a car passes along the quiet suburban street, blissfully unaware that the world has almost ended again.
You find yourself looking around the room instead.
At Robin, curled awkwardly into the corner of the sofa with her knees tucked beneath her chin.
At Nancy, staring absently into her untouched cup of tea.
At Jonathan, who hasn't taken his eyes off Nancy since they got back.
At Max, quieter than usual, her expression unreadable as she turns an empty cassette case over and over between her hands.
And at Steve, still sitting beside you on the floor, his shoulder resting lightly against the sofa, as though moving even a few feet further away from you somehow feels impossible after what happened.
It is Will who finally breaks the silence.
His voice is quiet enough that everyone has to look up to hear it.
"...We need a new rule."
No one answers immediately.
Not because anyone disagrees.
Because they all know he's right.
The old rules had kept them alive this long. Stay together. Keep the radios on. Don't make unnecessary noise. Don't split up unless you absolutely have to.
Now those rules weren't enough anymore.
Will draws a slow breath before continuing.
"If you hear somebody calling your name..."
He trails off, unable - or perhaps unwilling - to finish the sentence himself.
Steve does it for him.
"...Don't answer."
The words land heavily in the room.
Nobody argues.
Nobody even questions them.
Robin swallows hard, her eyes fixed somewhere on the carpet as she quietly adds, "...Even if it sounds exactly like us."
Another silence follows.
Longer this time.
Because that is the part none of them wants to say aloud.
Not just don't answer a stranger.
Don't answer Dustin.
Don't answer Nancy.
Don't answer Steve.
Don't answer the people you love most in the world.
The room feels colder somehow.
You glance at Steve beside you, and for the briefest moment you wonder whether, if you heard him calling for you again tomorrow, you could really ignore it.
The thought alone makes your chest tighten.
Dustin is the first to move.
Without a word, he reaches for the battered Hellfire emergency pack that's been dragged through almost every disaster the group has survived, unzips the front pocket and rummages around until he finds a thick black permanent marker.
He hesitates only briefly before uncapping it.
Then, kneeling on the living-room floor with the backpack balanced across his knees, he opens the inside flap where every previous rule has already been scribbled in increasingly cramped handwriting over the years.
He doesn't ask whether everyone agrees.
He already knows they do.
Slowly, deliberately, he writes beneath the others.
RULE #8
IF YOU HEAR SOMEONE YOU LOVE CALLING YOUR NAME...
DO NOT FOLLOW THE VOICE.
The ink is still wet when he snaps the cap back onto the marker.
Nobody comments on it.
Nobody laughs.
Nobody suggests a better wording.
Because you all understand something they hadn't understood that morning.
The Upside Down hadn't simply learnt your voices.
It had learnt your hearts. Your trusts. Who you love most.
And from now on, surviving would mean learning not to trust them.
The weeks that follow are, by all outward appearances, wonderfully ordinary.
School starts again. Family Video reopens. Robin complains about customers with renewed enthusiasm, the kids fill Steve's house almost every afternoon as though nothing has changed, and somebody inevitably starts an argument over whose turn it is to choose the film.
Life, stubbornly and almost offensively, continues.
Some days you're almost convinced you're beginning to forget.
Not what happened.
Just the feeling of it.
The constant certainty that something terrible is waiting just beyond the next corner gradually loosens its grip, replaced by familiar routines and evenings spent piled into living rooms with takeaway cartons balanced on your knees, laughing over things that would've seemed impossibly trivial only a few weeks earlier.
It gets easier.
Not better.
Just... easier.
Until one quiet evening.
Steve's house is unusually still, the late afternoon sunlight spilling lazily through the bedroom curtains in soft golden stripes that stretch across the duvet. You'd meant to stay awake. You'd only gone upstairs to lie down for half an hour while Steve started making dinner, but somewhere between closing your eyes and listening to the muffled sounds of cupboard doors opening downstairs, sleep had begun to pull gently at the edges of your thoughts.
You're hovering somewhere between dreaming and waking when you hear it.
Your name.
Quiet. Unhurried.
Floating up the staircase from somewhere below.
For one impossible moment, your body forgets where you are.
Your eyes snap open.
Every muscle locks.
Your heart lurches so violently it almost hurts, adrenaline crashing through you before your mind has had the chance to catch up.
You don't answer.
You don't move.
You simply stare at the bedroom door, every instinct warring with itself as the silence stretches on around you.
Because you know that voice.
You know it better than your own.
But you also know where that certainty almost led you.
The room remains perfectly still.
Downstairs, you hear nothing more than the faint clatter of something being set on the kitchen counter, followed by footsteps crossing the hallway.
A minute passes.
Maybe less.
It feels much longer.
Then the floorboards outside the bedroom creak softly, and a gentle knock sounds against the half-open door before Steve appears in the doorway, one hand still holding a tea towel he'd evidently forgotten to put down.
He smiles when he sees you're awake, though it fades almost immediately when he notices the way you're sitting rigid against the headboard, your breathing still just a little too fast.
"...Hey."
You don't answer straight away.
He tilts his head, confusion flickering briefly across his face.
"I called you."
A beat.
"...Why didn't you answer?"
Your throat tightens.
You look at him.
That's all you do.
You look at him, and in the space of a heartbeat you watch the question disappear from his expression.
Understanding arrives quietly.
Painfully.
His shoulders soften almost imperceptibly, and something in his eyes breaks - not dramatically, not with tears or visible grief, but with the quiet devastation of somebody realising that a wound they desperately hoped had healed is still there beneath the surface.
"Oh."
The word is barely louder than a breath.
Neither of you says anything else.
There isn't really anything to say.
Steve crosses the room without another question, sits carefully on the edge of the bed, and opens one arm in silent invitation.
You move before you've consciously decided to, the tension finally leaving your body as you fold into him, burying your face against his shoulder while he wraps both arms around you with the same steady certainty he always has. One hand settles instinctively at the back of your head, his fingers slipping gently through your hair, while the other rubs slow circles between your shoulder blades until your breathing begins, little by little, to settle again.
He doesn't apologise.
He doesn't tell you that it was only him.
He knows none of that would help.
Instead, he simply holds you, solid and warm and undeniably real, allowing his heartbeat to become the only sound worth listening to.
Outside, the world carries on exactly as it always has. Cars pass along the street. Somewhere, a dog barks. The neighbours laugh over dinner in their garden. Hawkins continues with the blissful normality it has always pretended to possess.
Inside the house, though, something has changed forever.
The tragedy isn't that you failed to answer when Steve called your name.
It's that, somewhere beneath a blood-red sky, the Upside Down had managed to reach into one of the most instinctive acts of love a person can know - the automatic certainty that the voice of someone you love means safety - and twist it into something to be feared.
You escaped.
You survived.
But some echoes don't stay behind when you leave.
And every now and then, on quiet evenings when someone calls your name from another room, you still have to remind yourself that not every voice asking you to follow is trying to lead you into the dark.
Unfriendly reminder that if you're displeased with a piece of fanfiction your courses of action are:
Read something else
Bitch PRIVATELY to friends
Write your own take on the premise (strongly recommend!)
All of the above
Under no circumstances should you try to "politely" critique the author who put the story up as a hobby. For free. Especially if the story in question is multiple years old. Ao3 is not Goodreads
۶ৎ after steve supported you through a hard time in your life, he watched you shine right back into yourself again. he just didn’t know how hard he’d fall in love when you did.
bestfriend!steveharrington x reader
wc: 7.8k+
warnings: mention of alcohol, skinny dipping (sorta they have underwear on) , talk of depression, first kiss
Today was something different. Something he took out of his life, tried to downplay it. His birthday.
He never thought much of it, no matter how hard he tried, because it sometimes felt too much. But a part of him, maybe his vulnerable self, managed it.
And it wasn’t because the day revolved around him, that he got all the attention that he was used too. It was about the people, mostly you, and being around love he normally didn’t see at home.
Reassuring and proud.
He was never very fond of the birthday culture, with the presents and all eyes on him. It was never involved in his life, so he learned to not give it importance- and believing his life was still the same without it.
Eventually as he got older, graduated, made a life for himself, it changed.
You somehow got closer to Steve, closer than Robin was, than everyone. You two didn’t know how it happened, it just did so naturally. His eyes were always drawn to you, noticing how his heart fluttered differently than when it did it others. You showed him what being cared for looked like, how it felt- and he gradually accepted it.
Every year, the celebration was the same, one that he loved and felt most comforted with. A bonfire nestled somewhere in the forest of Hawkins, with drinks and music, with the breeze flying through and songs blasting high.
He woke up that morning with a sense of dread and regret, even if he already agreed.
What pushed him through the day and before the party was someone who made him feel embarrassingly soft. Like what he did everyday was special.
You.
“I don’t know about this one.” You say quietly with a tilt to your head, looking in your mirror.
You watched Robin spring up from your bed.
You wore a short, almost babydoll dress, that was silver with little sparkles- the spaghetti straps gliding smooth over your skin. It was a pretty dress, you had to admit, and it made your features glow.
After these past few months, you’d never imagine you would see yourself like this. In a gorgeous dress, out of your bed, getting ready for a party.
Ready to see him.
“Honest to everything, Steve is going to flip.” She exclaims, “you’re seriously gonna make him lose his shit.”
“Robin!”
“What?” You give her a dead stare, “Oh cmon, you gotta admit a little bit of it is for him.”
You shake your head with a pink face.
“…It’s his birthday.”
“Yyyeah but you’ve been like best friends for years who totally dance around each other, and he’s a total moron for not-”
“Okay, okay!” You giggle, biting the inside of your cheek to try and not smile. The concept felt so off, but when Robin said it, it sounded right.
“But it’s not anything bad! I just think.. he’s scared.” She says lightly, “it’s nice you’re doing this, going tonight, I mean.”
That was the thing. You were doing it for Steve. Your makeup, your hair, everything. Yourself. And you knew he appreciated you just for you, he’s said it countless of times, but you wanted to thank him after everything he’s done.
After making you feel stable again.
You swirl the dress a little to try and convince yourself that this was perfect. That it was just right for him.
“He’s really going to love it, you look.. so pretty. Trust me.” She says softer.
You turn and your eyes meet hers, and you could see she really means what she says. You take a deep breath and look back in the mirror.
“I don’t wanna mess things up.” You admit. “It’s his day and I just- I know he’s still going to be worried. He doesn’t need that right now.”
There was a beat of silence, blankets rustling.
“You wanna know something?”
“..What?”
“Yesterday at work, I swear. Couldn’t stop talking about you and how excited he was for tonight.”
You turn your head but you couldn’t catch yourself smiling. Your face was etched with something more emotional, more aware of what you truly deserved. The bond between you and Steve was too real for something to blush about.
Normally you would tease her back, try to deny it, but something in your heart told you not too.
“Really?” You ask.
“Really.”
“Oh.”
She nods and finishes putting on her shoes, fixing anything that was off. She gets up and stands next to you, looking at yourself and then you through the reflection.
“I wish you saw him.” She smiles, sweet and encouraging, “he was a complete madman. I even had to shut up, and you know it’s the opposite!”
You giggle at that and feel your body turn lighter, especially in moments where you can really think about how grateful you were. Suddenly, you felt Robin grab your shoulders and steer you away from the mirror.
“Now!” She raves, “we both look hot as hell, especially you, and it’s finally time for a good party.”
You fake groan and let her drag you downstairs and out the front door, your head feeling loud. The chill immediately hit you, goosebumps appearing, but you were already to close to the car for a return back.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry- I just can’t stop imagining what Steve’s face is gonna be.” She squeals, fumbling with the keys.
“Stooop!”
“What?”
“If you say anything to him, you’re dead Rob.”
The car starts and she starts to drive to the road that leads to the forest. You couldn’t ignore the sound of your heart racing, and you truly didn’t know why.
You’ve seen Steve almost every day, the reasons for that, you tried to not think of. But it was putting yourself out there, smiling again, allowing your heart to settle. You just wished it was you and him, not in front of a crowd.
It’s always been you two. Like how it was every night. The nights where you didn’t even have to call, and he was there. With his fingers unknotting the tension in your head, soaking up your tears and steadying your shakes. There were some nights where he’d stay on the phone with you, laying on his side with his eyes fluttering shut and listening to your breathing.
Some nights, he cried about you. With you or without you. Because when he saw your eyes, your state, he couldn’t help but feel his heart break at how much you lost yourself.
He would notice when something was wrong, by the crease in your eyebrows and how your cuticles were freshly sore. Sometimes when it was morning, his face smushed to your pillow with his eyes closed, you’d blink and replay the past hours. At how close he would get. Kissing your face so tenderly that it didn’t seem like a question.
In that moment, he knew it then. He’d do anything for you. His string was devoted to yours, almost like he’d go back in time and align the stars again just so he could reconnect with you.
Steve tried to push his feelings away. No, he was your best friend, he was supposed to be there for you. You didn’t need that during this time in your life, which was overthinking the feelings of a boy instead of focusing on your mental health.
You blinked and you could see it. The orange glow behind the many rustled trees of the forest, growing stronger and higher.
“Hey.” Robins voice snaps you back and you turn your head.
Her hand reaches to yours.
“Breathe, okay?” She says, taking a deep breath and watching you follow her, yours coming out uneven.
“It’s gonna be super fun. You’re gonna see Steve.. everyone, have s’mores.”
Her words made you smile.
“And if you wanna leave, tell me. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of some horrible dancing. Tell me.”
You tried to laugh at that, you really did. But the sound caught in your throat and you felt your hands start to shake. You slowly pull your hand away, hugging her over the console.
“Thanks Robin.” You say so quietly. She smiles anyway.
You and Robin walked through the man made trail further into the glow, holding onto her arm as your heart continued to race, your dress feeling tight on you.
It was okay. You were okay, everything was safe and you would see Steve.
Music seeped into your ears and you could see the water of the lake glistening under the moonlight. You saw people, close friends who were smiling and laughing by the fire. Everyone seemed so happy.
Your heart slowed.
When you got closer, every other girl was wearing a dress- but somehow yours stood out just a bit more.
Your name and Robins were immediately squealed throughout other girls, and they rushed to hug you, their perfume filling your nose. And you melted right away, because you haven’t seen them in so long and it was like your heart knew that it was at home.
And you were smiling.
Real, bright, and so natural that it made your stomach twist.
You and Robin made your rounds to say hi to everyone, your gift for Steve clutching tight in your grasp. Because then you saw him in the middle of your hug with Nancy, his eyes trained on you. He was waiting.
Waiting for a moment between you and him. Just two.
Robin nudged you and gave you an encouraging smile, and you returned it back.
Before you got even make your way to Steve, he was already five steps ahead, jumping over to you. You couldn’t tell from the fire, but his face seemed brighter and pinker than it was from afar. He immediately hugged you, your feet gently lifting off the ground.
You let out a breath that was deep in you and you felt like laying down right there, straight into his arms and away from everyone else.
“Hey!” You could hear his smile. “You came.”
So you pulled away, proving your point. It reached his eyes and his pupils were wide.
“Happy birthday.” You manage to hand him the bag without shaky hands.
“Thank you.” He says with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. That was Steve, after all.
He took it and put it down, his hands seemed to be occupied somewhere else. His fingers slithered around your waist and he tugged you closer, causing you to raise your eyebrows.
“Usually, you open it.” You tilt your head, lips curling upwards.
“You look so pretty.” He breathes out. “Like…wow.”
You stutter. “You.. you look good too.”
His eyes trailed up and down, before going back to your face. Normally it would made you feel small, gross under that gaze. His was gentle and unwavering, not like he was imagining you without it. But you knew it was never like that with him- he truly did see you as some sort angel.
Your heart flipped right away. At his words, his face, at everything.
“Is this new?” He gently slides his finger underneath the strap of your dress, and your face felt hot.
“Keeping track on my closet?”
“Maybe.. I mean no!” His eyes widen in an attempt to joke. “Is it though?”
“Mm.” You hum shyly, your eyes never looking away from his eyes, like you were hypnotized. “Robin helped me pick it out.”
“For once, Robin was right.” He chuckles, “let me um, you want a drink?”
You could tell he was quickly trying to hide his red face, and you tried your hardest not to smile at his attempt, the way he swallowed nervously. You could never ignore the way he looked at you, regardless of your relationship. Friends.
“Yeah, sure.” You smile.
He nods and strains his eyes away from you, holding onto your hand and taking you to the cooler that was next to the wood benches.
He reached for the soda without hesitation, one of your favorites, but you shook your head.
“Actually um.. is the beer good?” You ask.
He looks up at you and blinks. He looked so different in that moment. Handsome. He stuttered a sound and nodded- a little taken aback back because you rarely drinked.
“Yeah it’s good, you want one?”
“…Sure.”
“You don’t have too if you don’t wanna.”
His voice was so soft that you almost gave in. But you wanted too. You wanted to feel layed back and take your mind off the things that haunted you at night. You felt safe doing that around him.
You took the can from his hands and opened it- drinking it at the same time he was with his.
You could see him smiling against the metal and he watched your eyes widen at the taste, since it was different from the ones you’ve tried before.
“Holy shit.” You laugh.
“Good?”
“You’ve got good beer taste.”
“That’s so not a thing.”
“So is.”
He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since he hugged you. And you noticed. You didn’t want to change a thing.
He shakes his head and smiles at you like he’s forgotten all those horrible nights where you looked down on yourself. He looked at you like you were the greatest, a girl who glowed into a room, not someone who cried herself to sleep every night.
“You’re something else.” He playfully says back.
“You tolerate it well.”
He bit the inside of his cheek with a lingering smile and looked away.
Later that night, you and Steve stuck around with each other. He managed to make countless excuses to continue walking around with you. You noticed it. When you stood across from him in a circle of friends, he just could not stop looking at you. You went to different groups of people, catching up and finding your place again. You felt like you belonged again, and it was so so refreshing.
You fell back into such an easy rhythm, and with the way Steve talked to you, he seemed proud. With his hand gently resting on your lower back, looking down at you with the most gentle expression ever. And you returned it back.
Sometimes it got too quiet, and he’d take you to some trees farther away from everyone. You would lean against the tree and he’d be right in front of you, eyes darting across your entire face.
His smell was so strong, with his hands fiddling with yours. And it felt so familiar again. So right, even if it was so wrong at the same time.
“I was gonna show up to yours this morning.” He admits.
You tilt your head.
“Why didn’t you? I was home.”
He shrugs and turns his head, the moonlight shining onto his face as he looks at the lake. He was so pretty and that thought lingered in your head for a long time. You couldn’t think like that.
He was your friend, the one who’s always been there for you, who had your back in any given time. He didn’t need all that came with you. He deserved better than that. Stable.
“I didn’t know if you were gonna come tonight.”
You frown and say quietly, “‘Course I’d come, Steve. I know I haven’t been out much but it’s.. it’s you. It’s us.”
He looked back and he already looked relieved.
“M’ really proud of you.” He starts, “and I don’t wanna sound cheesy or something. But I am, and.. I’m glad you here.”
Your eyes dart back and forth to his and that’s when you realize how intimate this was. You were so close to him, and the way you two quietly talked to each other felt like a secret. With his hands intertwined with yours and his breath fanning over your lips.
Being this close to him reminded you of those nights. The nights where he practically had to shake you to stop the crying, his lips pressed to the side of your face as he whispered. Maybe because he saw you at your lowest, the worst you’ve ever been, means that he saw you as his first. That you were Steve’s first thought in the morning, wether if it was out of concern or not.
“All cus of you.” You whisper. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yeah?” He asks, unsure but willing to believe.
“…Yeah.”
He stayed quiet, his baby pink lips parted, and god, you wanted to kiss him so bad. You didn’t have a clue that he was thinking, what’s been going on in his head all night.
“On top of that, you look so fucking beautiful.” He chuckles, “your dress, everything else. Beautiful.”
You roll your eyes and nudge him, feeling yourself instantly smile. After all these months of forcing it to appear, something simple like seeing Steve and listening to him instantly brought it back. Your stomach felt fuzzy.
“I look like a disco ball.”
“A beautiful disco ball.”
“Who definitely smells like beer.” You giggle and he shakes his head with the most genuine expression.
“You smell perfect. Everything’s perfect.” He hums.
He leans foward, hand sliding behind your neck and kissing your forehead like he always did, your shoulders dropping. He peppered it once more and it felt like how it did back in your bedroom, when you broke down and he kissed it all away.
He pulls back with his hair in front of his face, and you pushed your hand foward to push it away.
Before you could do that, someones voice rang through the trees, calling Steve’s name. He sighed and flickered his eyes back to you, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear.
All this mess, the hair in front of each others faces, was evidence of how flushed you two were. But the words, the feelings, lingered in the air and it didn’t feel like they would be acknowledged anytime soon. You were scared.
It took a moment before he talked again.
“I swear I’m gonna kick everyone out.”
“You own the forest now?”
“Oh, obviously. It can be yours too, but you gotta earn it.”
You laugh and tilt your head back, leaning it against the bark like his name wasn’t being yelled. He leaned closer anyway like it was just another excuse to stay longer.
“And what do I have to do to earn a title of the forest?”
He squints his eyes and pretends he’s thinking, which only reminded you of how happy he made you, with your cheeks aching from smiling. You were so glad you came after almost not going.
“…Maybe if you promise to stay later? After everyone’s gone?” He whispered.
You’d do anything to hear that gentle voice for the rest of your life.
His name was yelled again and you frowned. He opened his mouth and his eyes looked like he would stay.
“Cmon.” You say softly before he could, lacing his hand with yours and going back to the fire- his eyes trained to the back of your head, his heart gravitated towards you.
It was getting late, the sun already slipped away.
But the party was still buzzing, the people were still drinking and celebrating Steve with multiple woo’s and pats on his back. The music was louder and it seemed like everyone was at the drunken stage at the party, escaping in couples into the woods with grins.
You and Steve got detached from each other, your arms dragged into the side of the fireplace where people danced. You quickly got caught up in it, a drink in your hand and shouting the lyrics to a song with Nancy.
“Hey!” You felt a soft tug on your shoulder.
“Have you seen Steve?” You heard Robins voice.
Your heart jumped just at the name and you shake your head. It’s always been like this.
The assumption that you and Steve knew where each other were, like a pair that never got strung away. In all the facade that you two were just close friends, you liked it. You liked how it was always you and Steve, together, like you two couldn’t navigate without each other.
You preferred it that way.
“No.” You say loudly over the music. “Is he okay?”
She nods, “Probably! I just forgot to give him his present.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No, no it’s okay! I’ll be back!”
And with that she quickly left, her eyes buzzing behind the drinks as well.
You went back to singing and dancing with Nancy, the two of you twirling each other around and jumping across the dirt of the forest.
Your mind flashed to Steve. His eyes. His stupid floppy hair that you craved to run your fingers through. His touch. Warm and grounding. You continued dancing, losing yourself in the music and your eyes blurring those around you.
For a moment, you felt like air. All those dark thoughts at night seemed to escape you as you jumped around, screaming your lungs out.
You felt like how it did when you were happy last year. Maybe this was all you needed, being with people around you who loved you and guided you with a hand on your back. Like how he did.
Despite the dancing, the drinks running through your system, you always thought about him.
Unbeknownst to you, Steve almost physically felt his breath leave him.
He was talking to a friend he hadn’t seen in a while, when he looked towards the fire, just to see its bright orange color. And through it, it glowed and shimmered silver.
He knew it was you.
Your crazy and free dancing, with that pretty dress he couldn’t take his eyes off, with the warmest smile he’s never seen.
You were glowing.
Your hair was sticking and falling perfectly in front of your face, your feet hopping around like life was infinite. Despite all the chatter and music, he heard your laugh echo. Saw your smile finally reach your eyes.
It happened so fast that he felt his heart drop.
You were there. All this time, in front of him, all his life. A mirror into his future, into what he could’ve had if he just tried. He felt his heart break at the potential of the two of you, kissing endlessly and cuddling deep into the night.
And yet you seemed so distant at the same time, like he had your grasp for a second before you moved on. You didn’t need him anymore. You appeared happy, you were radiating, and you didn’t need his whispers of comfort.
I love her so much, he thought. But this time, he didn’t call himself stupid for feeling that way. He believed it.
His face felt hot from the gravitation of just seeing you. Beautiful, there, and he couldn’t believe he’s spent those quiet nights with you.
Steve wanted the loud ones too, like right now, with your figure shimmering under the fire- all his.
He excused himself for a moment, hands shaking when he placed his beer on the ground. He felt electric but wanted to pass out at the same time, his feet already moving with no hesitation.
Would he dance? Take your hand and spin you around, show everyone that this was real?
He got closer and closer, and the moment he grazed your shoulder, a romantic slow song came on. Great.
“Steve.” Your hushed voice made him blink, his heart stuttering when he looked down at you.
Your face was flushed and your chest rised up and down, like this was the most relief you’ve gotten in a while. He smiled at that.
“Robin’s been looking for you.” You say breathlessly. But your hands slithered around the back of his biceps and he didn’t care to move. It was so… touchy.
“S’ okay.” He says. “She’ll find me later.”
You titled your head and let out a breathy laugh- your mind already forgetting her. He was finally close to you again, your touch on his skin feeling electric.
“Dance with me.” You say.
“Are you drunk?”
“…No.”
He shakes his head with a grin, your eyes glowing like he’s never seen before. He hoped it was because of him and not the alcohol running through you.
But he was drunk too and he couldn’t help but slowly sway you back and forth, feeling too reckless to care. Your dress flowed around, your hair blew, and he felt goosebumps all over.
He fixed the strap that was slowly cascading down your shoulder.
“Having fun?” He asks, face inching closer so you only heard.
You hum in response, eyes darting back and forth to his, your lips parting and slowly lifting upwards.
“What about you, birthday boy?”
He chuckled at that. The teasing finally sounded like you, which he always enjoyed.
“Best night ever.” He responds. “Best birthday, actually.”
“I bet you got a lot of gifts.” You say so purely, “I like my gift.”
He paused for a moment at that. Because it wasn’t really about the gifts, was it? He knew deep down in his heart that he wouldn’t have thrown this party if it wasn’t for you.
You encouraged him, convinced him that everyone loved and appreciated him the same way you did. Tonight, he got to see you shine again. He got to see his best friend glow under the light of the moon and fire, meshing into one beautiful piece of art that he wished was his.
He got to fall in love with you. As blatant as it sounded, that’s what it was.
You were so broken, you could still feel it inside you, but it was healing.
The thing was, Steve loved every single chip and edge of it. Because he knew he could soften them, he knew that despite the shadows in your mind, he’d still fall back to you. A shinning girl.
After a few seconds, he said quieter, “That’s not why.”
Your lips parted at that and it was now your turn for your cheeks to turn pink. You smiled faintly, the look on your face laced with pure shyness. You always felt like that around him.
You knew exactly what he meant when he said that, and you assumed you would forget it tomorrow. But you couldn’t forget the way it made you feel.
“Yeah?” You whisper, your fingers starting to dig into his hair.
His eyes fluttered for a second. He nodded.
“Can we go somewhere quieter?” You ask.
“What?”
He leaned in closer, his hair skimming yours, and his breath buzzed. The music was too loud and your voice wasn’t.
“Let’s go somewhere quieter.” You say into his ear, glad he couldn’t see your burning face.
He blinked and his mouth opened for a second, his mind jumbling on what to say. You didn’t seem overwhelmed like you normally were in crowds, you weren’t picking at your skin and shaking.
You looked like you meant it. And looks were better than tone, in his opinion. He always knew what you wanted.
He could just see it in your eyes, the way it flickered out to the lake that was just a few minutes away. He never wanted something more.
“Yeah, let’s go.” He smiles, hand sliding down and intertwining with yours.
It was so easy with him. You’d follow him wherever he went, you thought.
Your back pressed firmly against a boulder that was planted in the dirt, eyes facing toward the glistening lake. Steve did the same.
You felt sobered out by how close Steve was.
Your shoulder brushed his in the middle of it, your hands still laced together on his lap, thumb gently tracing over your cold skin. Your knee was pressed to his but neither of you moved away. It was quiet back there, far from all the noise, only faint owls being heard.
“I’ve been thinking about you.” He says after a long time.
You blink and he knew you were too nervous to look at him.
“Yeah? About what?”
“These past few months.” He hesitates to say.
Your eyes trained to your knees that layed flat on the ground because you were familiar with those months. The restless nights where you cried yourself to sleep, the nights where you didn’t because he was there. It happened so fast, like a switch, that feeling of being down all the time and wishing some mornings didn’t come.
It was hard for you to open up to Steve, and you almost did it by accident. He was having a hard time with his parents and he came over to yours for some quiet, softness. You cried to him that night and blurted out, your words disguised by what you knew was depression. Seeing your face red like that, your body shake into his, made him forget all his problems. Holding you was enough.
“Oh.” You manage to say.
You knew he was looking at you. You could always feel when he did, which was often. Sometimes when you slept. It made you curl into a ball and melt in his arms.
“I’ve been doing better. It’s been hard but it’s.. better.”
He nods. “I know, I can see it. You look really happy tonight.”
You look at him, his pupils already dialated.
“I just- I’ve been wanting to tell you that I’m really glad it was me.” He says quietly, his fingers squeezing yours, “That you felt comfortable enough to tell me things. I know it must’ve been hard.”
You gave him a small smile. He scooted closer because he knew you were trying hard to keep it together.
You curled up closer to him because ever since you two sat down, his eyes never left you. So warm, big, hazel.
“I want you to keep doin’ that, if its happy or not. Cus I’m always here, okay?”
You took a deep breath and you felt it shake inside your stomach. Your knees pushed against your chest and you hugged his arm tightly.
“You’re my first thought, Steve.” You whisper. “Always.”
You heard his breath hitch at that, his arms tightening around you. He kissed the top of your hair, your strands tasting like smoke and pinewood. He wanted to stay in this embrace until the sun rose.
“You are too.” He says.
You take a moment to find your words again.
“I still feel sad a lot for no reason, but not all the time.” You continue, “I honestly don’t know what happened to me, it’s like… I lost myself. I don’t know why.”
He rubbed your sides up and down, feeling the sparkles and small gems on your dress. He gently squeezed your hip.
“Maybe it doesn’t have to be explained at the moment. It’s just not coming to you cus it’s happening right now, and it’s okay. But when all those bad feelings go away, which they will, you’ll see it.”
You look up at him, his hair strands flopped over his face and some over his eyes. You gently pushed it back like routine.
“I hope it does.” You whisper.
“It will, I know it. I promise.”
“And I want you to be there. When that happens.. when I’m happy.”
He smiled warmly, and he felt his cheeks hurt from how much he’s smiled at you tonight. “Tonight’s been really fun.” He hears you say.
His eyes flicked to your shoulders, your neck, your eyes again.
“…It would’ve been boring if you weren’t here.”
“Your birthday party couldn’t be boring regardless.” You let out a soft laugh and he felt it against his arm.
“It for sure would’ve been boring.” He chuckles, playfully glaring his eyes. “You’re the only person I want around, if I’m being honest.”
“That so?”
“Very much so.”
You smiled and shook your head teasingly, looking back to the water. His head never turned like yours, still looking down at you, still wanting to say the words deep in his heart. His lips parted and seeing this version of you was like a piece of him sparking up again. His eyes skimmed the top of your face and he could see how your eyes fluttered at the sight of the lake.
“Let’s go swim.” He suggests.
“It’s definitely freezing.”
“You don’t wanna swim with the birthday boy?”
“It’s already the next day, Steve.” You giggle. “Can’t use that card now.”
When you turned to look at him, your eyes glowing, you saw his bottom lip tugged out into a small pout. You rolled your eyes and laughed, because you knew that he reeled you in too far. Before you could blink, he smushed a soft kiss to your forehead and jolted up- hand extended.
You took it and he pushed you up. You looked down and realized that there was no way you would go inside the water with your dress on.
“No way.” You shake your head. “I’m not going in with my dress on.”
He shrugged like it was no big deal, his hands already coming to take off his shirt and shorts, leaving him in his boxer shorts.
“Just keep your underwear on.”
“Steve!” You scoff with a shy laugh and he grinned at you.
“Oh cmon, it’s just me.” He dips his feet in the small area of water, “it’s dark anyways, I won’t see.”
You glare your eyes at him because you knew he most definitely could see. The moon was shinning brightest on its early summer days, and the fire a distance away echoed shadows.
You realized he was already ankle deep in the water and you felt a little silly for standing there, watching him. You always watched him.
Once his back was turned and he was focused on getting deeper into the water, you slowly slipped off your dress. The chill instantly hit you and you knew it was going to get worse when you got in. You tiptoed over and felt the water, and you let out a soft yelp at how cold it felt.
“Oh my god!” You shudder, “no way Steve, I don’t wanna. It’s freezing!”
You hugged yourself and you heard him chuckle. It wasn’t mocking or cocky at all, just in a way that made him smile at how pure you could be in these moments. He swam over to you, hair stuck up, his shoulders shinning in drops.
“Cmere.” He says softly, hand coming out again.
You took a deep breath and took it, his fingers icy. He firmly wrapped it around you and it felt like anything but shivers. It was genuine comfort. Vulnerability of being this exposed in front of him.
“You got it.” His voice was gentle as he slowly and slowly tugged you in, your throat hitching. “It feels better once you’re used to it.”
Goosebumps trail all over you but you still managed to get inside the water waist deep. You didn’t even realize that he never stopped holding you.
You two spent a few minutes swimming around, staying close to each other and laughing about the events of the night. And when he laughed with you, his eyes would gaze down to your lips, his ears turning pink. The two of you would just look at each other before going back to swimming, that same looking happening over and over again like a cycle.
It was stupid and so reckless, and you felt breathless but free at the same time. Almost like you never wanted to get out, never wanted to leave the sight of him under the moonlight.
“This is the stupidest idea ever.” You huff from the cold.
And when you finally emerged back from the water, he finally saw the version of you he was familiar with every night. Content with your shoulders relaxed, your makeup streaming down your face regardless of your huge smile. It was you, all over again, right in front of Steve. He wanted nothing more.
It was insanely intimate for the two of you just to dry off and say “friends”. Your hair was wet and your skin was glowing, and it was like seeing you for the first time.
He paddled just a bit closer to you and slithered his arms around your waist, tugging you closer. It was a slippery mess but he felt warm all over, your chest pressed against his and his hair pushed back by you.
Despite the cold wind hitting his exposed shoulders, he had no intent to move or let you go. He remembered the fond familiarity of being this close to you, how easily comfortable he felt even though he’s only been close to you for a few months.
His forehead brushed yours, and your hand slid behind his neck. He melted.
“You’re crazy, Steve Harrington.” You giggle, not even caring that you probably had runny mascara down your cheeks.
He pulled you closer, legs brushing yours underwater as you two stood, head tilted with a soft smile. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this much skin.
With a smirk, he said, “Mhm, and look who’s in the water.”
You rolled your eyes and he chuckled.
“…I feel so good.” You admit with a whisper.
“Like yourself again?”
You nodded.
He didn’t respond and you finally turned your head to look at him. You almost shriveled up into nothingness. His eyes were glued to your bra, to the thin lace detail that adored your chest. It was a new set, but there’s no way he’d know that, and the light pink color stood out in the darkness.
You gave him a small splash.
“I see you, perv.”
His smile returns and he splashes you back. “I like it. The lace.”
You take a moment to see it yourself, remembering the small little flower and vine patterns on it. It was pretty, and it made you feel like it too. Apparently, he agreed.
“I like it too.” You hum, “it’s a set.”
Oh god. Why did you say that? You definitely thought there was no way he’d go underwater just to see, he wouldn’t be able to anyways. That’s when you saw one of his hands splash down, holding your lower back and bringing you closer, fingers dancing across your wet skin and slowly doing down.
You felt a tug and immediately froze. He didn’t do anything bad, just simply traced his finger over the side of your underwear- shaking under the touch of the lace that clung to your skin, his knuckles just sliding under the material. You were completely breathless, eyes trained on the hair splaying all over his chest that dripped water.
“It looks.. really good on you.” He says quietly, even if it was just the two of you. Yet at the same time, scarily enough, he wanted the whole world to hear how he saw you.
“And I’m not just saying that. You really are beautiful. I mean it.”
“Steve…” You whisper because it felt like a lie.
Something that you would convince yourself while looking in the mirror, but it always fogged up and felt disgusting. And Steve was slowly leaning in.
He didn’t know how badly he wanted it.
To kiss you.
To feel you. Even if his skin was sliding against yours, it still wasn’t enough. It’s been hiding deep in his mind, in his soul, but tonight almost felt like a sign that he wasn’t making this all up.
“Believe me this time, please.”
“I try.” You whisper.
He was patient. Always. That’s something that defined Steve Harrington, that just made sense for you.
“Why do you think I took us out here? I… I want it to just be us. Always.” His voice slightly breaks, “And it’s not just because your pretty. Because you are, very pretty. You’re just- you’re you and it drives me insane… and I would stay here in the freezing cold the whole night telling you how much I like you.”
You blinked back tears, especially at his last words, because it swirled in your stomach that you felt utterly sick. And so beautiful at the same time.
He was everything you’ve ever wanted and more, like a crave that couldn’t be fulfilled no matter how many times you had it. You wanted him. But a part of you didn’t want him to want you, because your afraid of causing harm, meddling sadness into his life.
But he looked like he was ready for love, whatever that meant for you. He wanted to love you.
With his hair frazzled and already drying in the wrong places, a water drop just over his mole, eyes glossy just like yours. It looked like he meant it so dearly.
“I feel like it’s always been there.” You whisper.
He just nods because he felt that same aching numb. He whispered back.
“Me too.”
You felt your fingers start to shake against his shoulders, your head slightly twitching and your heart making your skin move. You didn’t expect to feel this sinking feeling.
You take a small inhale, stopping midway because the nerves caught up to your throat, blinking the tears away and looking down at his chest. Anything but his eyes.
“I tried to push it away so hard.” You breath out, voice squeaking.
“But why?”
“Cmon Steve.” You look up at him and you saw nothing but pure desperation on his face, your words breaking his heart more than your own.
It was so so sad.
You continue, “I’ve been in this… awful mess for months. And I- I can’t lay everything out on you. I just can’t. You don’t deserve that.”
He shakes his head with all his might. “Yes, you can. I don’t care about all that stuff, okay? I’ve been there for you before, every night, every phone call, everytime- everytime I’ve slept in your bed. And we both knew.. god, we knew. I was stupid not to have you sooner.
Small hiccups were starting to be heard from you, letting out soft cries, out of adoration for him and something else. He wiped away every single one.
He looked so handsome.
“You think it’ll ever change? No. I know it won’t. I like you so so so much.” He pleas, “you don’t deserve someone who doesn’t want to listen. But I want to listen, everytime, whatever it is.”
“I never want to bother you with my problems and I think… I’ve been holding it in for so long.” You say.
“I know you have.” He says, but not in a way to shame you. “And I’d do it over and over again, I’d sneak into your window at 2 am before you even have to call. I’d do anything for you.”
All you did was quickly nod, because with Steve, it was always the simplest task to believe him. He made it so easy, so beautiful written and said that it made you crave it deeply. Your hands clinged to his arms, nails digging into his embrace.
“Okay.” You whisper, eyes meeting his, the pure relief etched into them.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“…Good.”
It was quiet after that, his words lingering in the air and the water delicately flowing around you two. His eyes never left your face and you didn’t know where to look.
Steve was the last place.
“I like you too.” You blurt out, voice recovering. “So fucking much, Steve… it hurts. It hurts so bad.”
An ugly sob escaped you.
“Oh.” He mumbles sadly and immediately hugs you, his warmth radiating.
That night, you think you cried for 20 minutes straight, waist deep in the freezing water of Hawkins, your legs tangled with his under the surface. He kissed you everywhere, your bare shoulders, neck, everywhere that seemed tender in emotion. You didn’t realize how tense you’ve been.
He could feel how high you put your walls up and it broke his heart.
He never let go.
He whispered the sweetest words into your ear, exactly like all the other nights, but this time he was finally able to say the things he couldn’t. The words that would’ve revealed his feelings for you, the ones he locked far away. Every feature of you, everything he admired about you, your beauty. He confessed he would think about you every waken moment, collect movies for you for when you didn’t want to leave the house, make you food for when you were too sad for an appetite.
It was like he did almost everything when a boy was in love.
Along with that night, an hour passing, he finally kissed you. It was imperfectly perfect, while you two tried to get out of the lake, slipping right into his arms and landing his lips to yours.
You felt fuzzy that he never even looked down at your body when you two got out, no matter how hard the material clung to your skin. It showed you that Steve Harrington truly didn’t like you for your looks, your figure or outer personality.
It was what was really deep inside, a side for his view and what your worth truly was. The girl he got to live life with, being right there in your journey, seeing every step.
And that you were also his. Steve’s.
You two kissed for some more, passionately and clumsy, nothing else with no intention for more. You gently pulled down onto his chin so his lips parted, tilting your head and deepening the kiss.
“I’ve thought about kissing you so much.” He slowly pulls away, thumb tracing your cheekbone, “every night we were together. Everytime we hugged.. when we talked, when we layed next to each other.”
“…I would’ve kissed you back.”
His stomach flutters. “Good to know.” And he’s back to kissing you, languid and promising.
A cheer is erupted back where the bonfire was, reminding the two of you that there was an active party a few feet away.
“I’m actually gonna kick everyone out now. I didn’t even get a s’more.” He whispers against your swollen kissed lips with a pouty face.
You giggle, hair tousled and damp from his fingers digging into it.
“You made that threat before and it didn’t work.”
He smirked and tightened his arms around you, dipping his head, finding your lips with his again. You smiled against it and he returned it back.
This felt so natural it almost felt fake. With your feet on your tiptoes, his arms fitting right into yours, nose nudging his in a mind losing kiss.
He held you so gently like it’s been the first time he’s ever touched you. However this time, just maybe, it was the first time he did it with all his heart.
With so much love.
He pulled away reluctantly, lips smacking, and kissed your forehead- keeping his mouth right against your head.
“I mean it this time.” He whispers.
——
wow longest fic yet!!!
who else is also shocked, upset, surprised, idk what how to feel about SUPER SOAKER being AI?????✋✋✋✋ cus I know I am
i’m missing posting new chapters sm but just wanna say to everyone waiting so patiently + sending me inbox love: ilysm 🤍
i promise we will be sooooo back with ISF, OSWDLS, MERCY, LSTWAB && NANNY STEVE so very soon !! just been having so many farewell soirées with my friends and colleagues here in the uk before my official one-way flight next week… moving to the states, where i’ll be living with my life partner right next to my aunt, uncle & gran. 🇬🇧 -> 🇺🇸 SO MUCH CRYING THIS WEEK !! literally been blubbering like a lil’ baby 🥹🥹
for now ~ i’m soaking up my final days here, so just know you’re all on my mind :,,,)) i’m just being emo rn not wanting to miss a thing.
new readers, hi !!
loyal library cardholders, be back sooooooon:)
ohhhh thinking about steve in the beamer, his precious beamer. thinking about how his hands would look when drives because i know he drives so loose. there's not a tense bone in his body, he's in his element. guiding the steering wheel gingerly, not driving the car but coaxing the car. thinking about how his thighs would fall apart so naturally as his body relaxes. thinking about his huge hand wrapping around the gear shift to maneuver, thinking that if he gets real relaxed he might move his right hand to your thigh, thumb petting across your jeans, you can feel the raw heat of his palm through the denim, his other hand confidently slung over the steering wheel at 12 o'clock, fingers languid, not a care in the world, almost cocky as pushes 85 on the interstate.
today I was listening to my favorite music and it reminded me so much of isf, I think someone already pointed it out but imma say it again
so, prepare for this dissection
the cleaners are coming, one by one
(the reapers preparing to choose their tributes on every district)
you don't even want to let them start
(the shock and fear of being chosen)
They're knocking now upon your door They measure the room, they know the score
(the invasion and later the sponsors and trainers betting the lives of young kids on most to less likely to survive)
The cleaners have done their job on you
(the tributes are dressed as they need to get appeal and public approval)
They've hosed you down, you're good as new And they're lining up to inspect you
(I see such as them in the ceremony, knowing every move and expression is being observed, or the lineup as the parties and noncon using their bodies to survive this world)
poor old Jim's white as a ghost he's found the answer that we lost we're all weeping now weeping because there ain't nothing we can do to protect you
(steve realizing while he's protecting dustin as offering himself, he's not going to be there for the kids and likely not coming back)
hey little train! we are all jumping on the train that goes to the Kingdom we’re happy, ma, we’re having fun and the train ain’t even left the station
(the "Kingdom" is their death as they are going towards it and the only happiness they have is the imagination of a stolen childhood [steve, ren] and still having to protect the innocence [little ro] they have left)
I once was blind but now I see have you left a seat for me? Is that such a stretch of the imagination?
I was held in chains but now I’m free I’m hanging in there, don’t you see In this process of elimination
(this is their goodbye, but yet they still remain there, as they died in a massacre but free from the sistem once they are gone)
o children lift up your voice
children rejoice
(the start of the rebellion)
forgive us now for what we've done it started out as a bit of fun
(now as steve, ren and others have the power over their once reapers this is the only thing they can say, and yet we can realize that they still view the players and victims not as people but a entertainment and that is engraved in their minds, "but hey, they are sorry i guess...")
sorry, I had a tbi and a concussion from a fall and was in and out of consciousness for 3 days and felt a little bit closer with my buddies steve and ren and this kind of popped in my head ❤️
I love interpretating books and novels, especially the good ones like yours
stop i’m crying laughing at that gif right at the end of this post like asdfghjl—
i’m sorry but UHMMM OH MY GOD??? this song is LITERALLY ISF?? this is it?!?!?!?!? WOW???!!!! 🤯 @marie-the-muse we must must just add this to your playlist/score/soundtrack ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
pls know, anytime someone dissects any of my writing / works / series && breathes life into it through their own introspection as a reader ~ let alone, assigns music to it?? ~ that is my love language. it’s so humbling, a true honor && makes me feel so inspired to keep going.