It’s a sinking feeling when you realise that things have changed in your friend group. When you know that things have changed, but no one acknowledges the change. The feeling of walking on eggshells around them. Although, it seems to be only a problem for one person.
Kim Taehyung noticed it little by little. Noticed how his friends started spending more time together than with him. How they text or called less. How the cuddled together before shows, giggling about some inside joke just between the two.
It wasn’t like Taehyung was jealous. Okay, he was definitely jealous, but that’s not the point. The point was that the three had decided that they would always have each other. No matter what. But right now, Tae was feeling less and less wanted by his two best friends.
Taehyung stared at the two through the vanity mirror as the stylist fixed his hair. They were huddled together on the sofa, taking pictures on Jungkook’s phone. He could feel his jaw set when Jimin pressed a kiss to Jungkook’s cheek and quickly looked down to his hands in his lap. Although that was a mistake because the result ended with his hair being pulled and Noona scolding him for not sitting still.
After thirty minutes, his hair was styled and he was being told he could leave the chair. Tae thanked the stylist with a small bow before moving to the sofa to squeeze himself between Jungkook and Jimin. He knew that it was petty, but he wanted their attention.
Except he really didn’t get what he wanted. They acknowledged his presence with laughs and a slight whine from Jimin, but after that they continued talking around him. Tae knew that he could easily bring himself into their conversation. He had a way of talking himself into anyone’s conversation. It was the fact that they didn’t bother to bring him in or ask for an opinion. Sure, Taehyung was there, but Jimin and Jungkook were still in their own bubble. After what seemed like an eternity, but really was only five minutes, he pushed himself off the two dejectedly and went to find what the other members were doing.
They didn’t even bother to ask where he was headed.
Taehyung found Yoongi first. Although he should have known that where Yoongi is, Hoseok is bound to be around.
So it was no surprise to him when he heard the familiar scream of Hoseok along with the shouts of ‘spider’. Taehyung decided to ignore his hyung in favor of his favourite hyung.
Yoongi was sitting on one of the amp cases in the corridor a bit down from the dressing room, playing on his phone. Tae did debate for a second if he should bother the elder, but hearing his best friends laughter pushed him to his hyung.
A grunt is all Tae got from Yoongi when he dropped himself over the older’s back, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders. A grunt is all he got when he asked Yoongi what he was doing. A grunt is all he got when he said he was going to murder the other members. Yoongi was not in the talking mood.
After a glorious two minutes, Taehyung decided that Yoongi wasn’t going to give him any comfort and started to pull himself off his hyung. To his surprise though, Yoongi grabbed Tae’s wrist to pull him back. He wasn’t too sure how Yoongi did it, but his hyung always knew when Tae was upset even without looking at him.
So there they were. Taehyung cuddling Yoongi in the hallway. It was comforting for Tae, but only slightly. He wanted interaction. He wanted conversation. He wanted energy.
And if just on cue, Hoseok came running down the hall making a horrid nose that scared the silent pair. Yoongi grumbled about it while Taehyung just smiled and let go of the older to start making noise with Hoseok. It was nice.
But it only lasted so long. Tae was soon feeling the loneliness as he watched Hoseok and Yoongi interact. Sure, they would never purposely leave Tae out of anything, but their chemistry was too much for Tae not to feel left out. As if having a sixth sense, Yoongi asked Tae if he was alright. The younger simply nodded with a smile before excusing himself to look for Jin and Namjoon.
It took him a little and a while walk around the venue before he found the two he was looking for. They were in the dressing room with the other four boys. Taehyung didn’t know if they had been there the entire time or if they just came and settled while he was looking for them. Either way, they were there and Taehyung will have to deal with his best friends cuteness.
Taehyung found himself squished between Seokjin and Namjoon while sitting across from Jimin and Jungkook. He was cursing whoever the interior decorator was because there was no reason for the sofas to be facing each other…okay there was a reason, but he hated it. He hated that he watched his best friends in their own world. He hated that they didn’t even bother to talk to anyone else…didn’t bother to talk to him.
He remembers when a time when he and Jungkook used to be attached at the hip while they waited backstage for the concert to start. He remembers when he and Jimin used to always interact on stage. Sure, he still jokes around with Jungkook in their dressing room and he still interacts with Jimin on stage, but it’s not what it used to be. Instead, it seemed the two gravitated toward each other, but forgot to bring Taehyung with them.
It was ten minutes until they needed to be on stage and Taehyung wasn’t any happier with Seokjin and Namjoon. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his hyungs…but like his other hyungs, they seemed to have their own chemistry that couldn’t be shared with anyone else. Yes, they shared the attention to Taehyung, but it just didn’t feel the same. Seokjin cuddled him and Namjoon petted his hair while they spoke about what they were going to eat after the concert. They did try to bring Taehyung in on the conversation, but he was distracted. For the first time in their history of being a band, Kim Taehyung just wanted the concert to hurry along so he could do to the hotel and sleep.
The concert didn’t fly by like he had hoped. Nope. It seemed that a higher power wanted Taehyung to suffer for all the wrong doings he had done when he was younger. He was in fact suffering and he didn’t know how much longer he could continue to fake it. Although, he was the actor of the group…it was still tearing him apart.
Three grueling hours is what Taehyung had to go through. Three hours of hardly talking or touching Jungkook or Jimin. Three hours of watching the two giggle and joke and leave him out of their fun. Three hours of Taehyung wanting to leave and cry into his pillow.
Of course, he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t disappoint the fans, the other boys, their staff, the staff of the venue. So, he stayed. He stayed and watched as his two best friends indulge in the fans theories that they were dating. He stayed and ignored the pain in his chest.
Taehyung knew that there were some fans that probably caught his longing glances or the way he rolled his eyes at certain interactions. He knew that there would be something talking about it on twitter or another social network, but he didn’t care. He was upset and no one seemed to care. More importantly, his best friends didn’t seem to care.
After many wishes for the concert to be over, the concert ended. The concert ended and Taehyung didn’t bother to stay on the stage after their final bow. That was definitely going to be talked about, but once again, he didn’t care. He just wanted to get out of the tight jeans and the ridiculous suit jacket. He just wanted to be away from everyone.
Taehyung finally got what he wanted when he was settled into his hotel bed, his TATA plushie tucked under his chin. He had already cried and now he was just numb. It was an ugly cry where he had snot running down his face. He’s sure that if the boys would have seen him, they would have made jokes for days. Of course, they would have made sure he was alright first, but then he wouldn’t have been able to live it down.
The sound of his ringtone drew Taehyung out of his thoughts. With a shaky hand, he grabbed the device and stared at the screen. Jungkook. Jungkook was calling him and for the first time during the night, he didn’t want to talk to the younger member. But he knew that if he ignored it, Jungkook would just continue to call him. Although, after tonight he wasn’t too sure about that assumption…he still answered it.
“Taehyungie,” Jungkook started before Tae could even mutter out a greeting. “I’m staying in Jimin’s room tonight so there’s no need to wait up for me.”
How could he forget that he was rooming with Jungkook. They had agreed to share a room as soon as they had taken off from the Seoul airport. But here he was, forgetting that Jungkook was his roommate and it was breaking Taehyung’s heart all over again.
Taehyung muttered out a simple ‘okay’ and listened as Jungkook wish him a good night before hanging up. And he was alone again. He was alone and he could feel his eyes starting to burn. The familiar burn that he had felt almost all night. Taehyung pressed his face into his plushie and cried once again.
Taehyung cried himself to sleep.
I got the inspiration from this post …. except it’s less smutty and more angsty.
