Our lil fairy bride having confusing feelings about her er... 'husband'. Illustration from chapter 4 our illustrated novel, Fairy Bride. Why not give it a read?

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Our lil fairy bride having confusing feelings about her er... 'husband'. Illustration from chapter 4 our illustrated novel, Fairy Bride. Why not give it a read?
Amazing background paintings from Summer Wars (サマーウォーズ). Hosoda is a genius and this film’s direction is divine. Looking at the same places from different angles… *stars in my eyes*
My dear lgbt+ children,
Many messages i get on this blog are things like “My family says homophobic things but i’m still in the closet, i don’t know what to do”,
“My best friend uses transphobic slurs but how do i tell her that it hurts me without telling her i am trans? I can’t come out yet”
or other variants of “How to react to lgbt+-phobia when still in the closet?”.
I’ve been planning to write a letter that answers this question for a while now - but to be honest, i postponed it because it’s a difficult situation to be in and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. There’s not the one golden perfect solution to it.
Instead, i’ll suggest several different possible solutions as you know your own situation and your family member/friend/the person better than i do.
Without further bla bla, here’s the list:
Possible ways to react to lgbt+-phobia when you’re in the closet:
Example: Person says “I would never date a bi girl, they’re cheaters”
Educate neutrally: “Bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, it has nothing to do with faithfulness”, state a neutral fact that dismantles the lgbt+phobic statement without talking about yourself at all
May work best if: the person is indeed just uneducated about lgbt+ topics (rather than downright hateful), is okay with being proven wrong, is not overly suspicious of why you defend lgbt+ people (in case them finding out you are lgbt+ would put you in danger)
Play the “good straight ally” card: “That’s not true, one of my friends is bi and she would never cheat”, out yourself as a supporter rather than a member of the lgbt+ community
May work best if: the person doesn’t know all your friends/you can easily make up a friend, the person is one of those people who stop being hateful as soon as their victim has a face
Ignore and change the topic: “Talking about cheating, have you seen the movie You’ve got mail? It’s a romantic comedy, Sarah said it’s really cute but i didn’t watch it yet.”, say nothing in response to the lgbt+-phobia and try to steer the conversation to nicer topics
May work best if: they are too deep down in their hateful views for any of the above strategies to work, defending lgbt+ people would put you in danger
Avoid the person: This is less of a instant response but more a long-term solution that can only work in some cases. Break off the friendship (maybe gently and slowly by spending less and less time with the person).
Only works if: you don’t depend on them (sadly this doesn’t work with parents you still live with or co-workers in a job you can’t quit)
May be necessary if: their lgbt+ phobia negatively impacts your mental health
Agree and silently think “F*ck you”: “Yeah, i understand!”, just agree and keep your thoughts to yourself
This is a painful thing to do and can certainly negatively impact your mental health but it may be necessary if: them finding out or even getting suspicious puts you in danger
Do you have any other advice? Feel free to add your thoughts/experiences to this post!
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Mom
Universal Declaration of Human Rights
Article 1
“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”
How to support the Black Lives Matter movement as a white ally
White allyship, though it may sound difficult, is a key part of the fight against white supremacy. To learn more about how white people can contribute to the Black Lives Matter movement, Mic spoke to Heather Cronk, the interim co-director of Showing Up for Racial Justice, a national network of groups and individuals that organizes white people in the fight for racial justice.
There is a clear place for white people in this movement.
Many white people Cronk encounters feel like the movement for black lives is “not for them” and that they “don’t see themselves in it,” she said. But, that’s simply not true.
“There’s a clear role for white folks to play as part of a multiracial movement for racial justice,” Cronk said in a phone interview.
“Undermining and disentangling ourselves from white supremacy is something that benefits white people in addition to benefitting folks of color.“
But, Cronk stressed, “part of the work is trusting black leadership” to direct white allies in ways that are helpful to the movement.
Cronk laid out a few easy ways for white people to start finding their place in the movement:
Namely donating to a black-led organization and staying informed about the Black Lives Matter movement by reading works from writers of color.
Start with deepening your relationships with black people and other people of color.
White people must also work on their relationships with people of color, especially organizers.
“One of the most important things you can do as a white person is to build deep relationships with folks of color who you know but haven’t had this relationship with or are doing organizing work in your community,” Cronk said.
“That’s far more authentic than saying ‘I’m ready to do work now’ but not having relational context to that work. Being in deep and accountable relationships is essential to the work.”
While it may be uncomfortable to broach topics like police brutality with your friends of color, white people have to get past their own fears.
“Systems of oppression rely on silence in order to exist,” Cronk said. “It’s important to have that conversation rather than not have it, even if that means you tumble all over yourself and you look awkward."
But don’t rely on your friends of color to educate you.
People of color often take on the emotional labor of racism, but not every person of color is willing to do educate white people about racism.
In that case, Cronk says, if you want to have talks about race with black friends, you should ask for their consent first and let them know that the conversation can be on their terms.
In the meantime, check out this curriculum for white allies looking to learn about race and this Black Lives Matter syllabus from New York University, complete with videos and movies to watch.
Your work needs to start with your own family.
Talking about racism at the holiday dinner table may be difficult, but it has to be done.
It’s important for white people to engage in anti-racist work to "come out” to their family and friends as people who are trying to fight white supremacy, as allies to black people and people of color.
“White folks who want to show solidarity with folks of color, yes you have to come out as being an anti-racist white person, and part of that is not opting out of that when it feels like it might be tough,” Cronk said. “That’s the privilege that allies to oppressed communities have.”
Becoming an ally will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Read more
follow @the-movemnt
The Importance of Being Earnest — Oscar Wilde
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”
- President Theodore Roosevelt
The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.“
- George Orwell
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and the government when it deserves it."
- Mark Twain
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