Wow these questions r very huh mmkay I can do introspection let's go
I have never thought of that. But since it's very me, uh...I like Fanta. Orange Fanta. Not constantly but it's nice every now and then specifically cold and bubbly. I think cos my name isn't meant to be taken too seriously (it was very lazy and originally a... "joke") and neither am I, then Fanta 👍
I've never really thought about having a favourite person, I suppose, I consider my friends my favourite people. But then if I had to choose I'd say my best friend. We don't spend much time together these days but we've been friends for like... 14 (?) Years now? She's very important to me, I don't need to talk just to know she's there and I can talk. And she wears glasses, so she makes me think of glasses, so glasses lens is my answer! Or maybe something like a boba drink. But a spiky boba drink. Like she's got the bubbles boba tea vibe but she's also rather...in the nicest way judgy and gets angry easily sometimes... wow this answer is getting too long let's stop before I describe her completely
Cried: I don't cry very often and when I do it's usually in the same few places. I can think of some bad places I cried (the toilet rip) but for the nicest... I want to say my bed. Sort of. It's nice because I have heeeeaps of plushies/pillows to feel comfy with, and comfy is a good place to cry. But at the same time, I remember having to stifle my like, crying noises because I didn't want my family to hear and ask what's wrong because I can't tell them. So maybe the nicest place would be when I could cry out loud. That means either my car or the floor when no one's home. Lmao.
Screamed: I don't really scream. Like aloud at least. So I'm gonna replace this one with a feeling that idk just felt like something, but it was definetly a scene. Because I think sitting in my car outside my friend's house after I picked up a binder from their mail box and eating increasingly-cold Maccas chips with Frank Sinatra's My Way playing right after I'd had a psychology appointment just really sticks with ya yk. Full dead stare and it's funny to think about.
Laughed: anywhere with my friends. I don't care, but if I can get to the point where I'm genuinely laughing then it's nice.
Best way I've been shown love...? I don't know. But I am a very materialistic person. If someone gets me a gift, I don't care what it is, I struggle to part with it. I am a bit of a hoarder, but I don't know, if someone gets me something with a bit of thought behind it or even if not? Like not all presents but trinkets and things and especially drawings I love collecting my friends' drawings I think they're very special. Mum got me a pocket frog one time with a cheesy line about love on it and I haven't put it anywhere special but I know I'm going to keep it. Especially if i get kicked out. Pieces of people, I suppose.
Pick one? Nuh. In a week? Doing what I've been doing but hopefully feeling better than i have this week. I have less work...at this point. And I'm meeting up with friends (one has a birthday actually) so...doing what I've been doing for the last couple weeks. Work and friends, but hopefully more rested than I've been recently. Pretty sure I was breaking down in some of the earlier days this week haha. In another lifetime? Idc isekai me. Why live in a normal world when I could have magic? I want magic. And dragons. And other mythical creatures and demihumans. Idc give me a generic male fantasy world it'll be fun. One where I can be a part of a brotherhood and have brothers in arms to go on adventures and be good with swords and weapons but still enjoy my books and knowledge and I can feel confident in myself. Magic and the rest of that may be a bit difficult in this universe, but I'll do my best (I already have a sword. And an axe. And a bow)
Yeah, I don't get the obsession with virginity. I mean it only makes sense in liek...idk the only person that's probably gonna read this is a minor I'm not gonna reveal that I'm that weird. Ahem. I don't think it matters so much. It's a cute thing if like u can say "oh we had our first time together yippee" or "I remember my first time..." and it being good or bad or whatever... but like there's a first time for everything and people don't generally place so much weight on that. It's very purity culture...and if that's ur thing, like u can value ur virginity. That's good. Do it when ur ready. But for people who can't and stuff... it matters more that they were sa'd in the first place and there's no need to add more stress. And what is virginity really? How do u know what counts as sex? Does it need to include penetrative? Uh yeah virginity is weird and placing so much of a "you only get one" on it when..."it" doesn't really exist to the extent that some people make it seem. Just. Eh. Sex is sex there will be more sex or there won't. I don't know if any if these r making sense.
Who would help me? Depends on what it is but for the important stuff... I rely on myself a lot. Sometimes I feel like that's all I can or should do. But then I think about it more and my friends have helped me...and also some of my friends' parents, actually. For just one instance, I owe one for explaining to me how to get a psychology appointment and meds if I want them and she later came to my gp appointment, and another friend for helping me actually do it...and his mum for calling and setting up the gp appointment. I don't like phone calls. That was at the start of the year, though, and when I got my gp review a month or so ago I called up myself ! Yippee. And...my family tries to help me. Sort of. But I don't think I can rely on them. Not fully. Not yet and for some maybe never.
My sibling is good! Sad I don't spend much time with her ig...but she's growing and we mess around a lot recently, do goofy stuff and it's fun. I think she's happy. My cousins... I think all of them are good. I don't see them often. Or talk with them. My fault somewhat. I'm busy. They're busy. One has another child coming...I think she's happy, and she deserves it because she's been through a lot. One is moving around a lot and had a real bad relationship but...I think he's okay? Maybe? I was a lot closer to him when we were younger and used to do dumb things together and wrestle. I don't know how to talk to him now. I think two of the others are okay... and some others are young so they're goofy children. With all of them, like all my family, I wish I could be more open because I feel like there's a wall. Including my sister. I can't be honest. I want my sister to know she has a brother. But maybe I'm being too dramatic, I still like them all. Some of them are the first I'd talk to anyway. I do wish I could actually get to know them better though...
I think I'm wasting too much time doomscrolling and repeating so many things... there's so much, so much I want to do. I can technically do it but I get overwhelmed...and yet, I'm still pretty happy. Recently I've been very tired, so clearly I'm doing a heap. I went to a friggen Hatsune Miku expo??? I feel like I'm doing more this year than I ever have and that makes me satisfied....to a point.
Yes? Mostly. I had a very sad and touchy week so this may not be the best time to ask...im very stressed about the future. Most of it is my fault. But also the housing market should just crash like wth actually.
When? I need to stop thinking about transitioning. But it makes me very happy. It won't solve all my problems and all its been doing is creating more problems so far... but when do I see myself being happy (more than i am now. I am grateful for my friends and the times i have fun with my family and just chill)...when I can present as myself, when I have worked out my mummy issues and any other ones I have with others in my family or at least the major ones. I'd also like to have yk a house and maybe a stable job...or at least be good at uni and be on my way to a good job (I picked a terrible field for that). When i can actually schedule my hobbies well... ik ppl everywhere struggle with this constantly. Just when I can live my life and be more mentally stable about problems etc. Also running around shirtless is very important. Just when I can be goofy and dumb rather than anxious and careful. Even if I'm still anxious, I can still be openly goofy. So. Sometime. I think I've taken the first few steps to that. I hope I can keep walking to it and everything goes as well as it can.
Wow what long answers this took longer than I thought...turns out I will spill my life story at the slightest push. I think I answered them all? Maybe?
